Mum became re-alive and I had to take a driving test...

[SaraBee]

Hi Tony,

Wondering if you could please give me some feedback on this dream.  Mum passed away suddenly in June this year and I'm (obviously!) still grieving....  The driving test seems odd, but might reflect some challenges I'm facing.

Mum was in a hospital and my sister and I had been informed that she had passed away.  We went to spend some final moments with her and I carefully took her hand.  As I held it I thought about wishing she was still alive and not in pain and still full of life.  She started to breath gently and squeezed my hand and suddenly was alive again. It was as though she was in such a deep sleep with such shallow breathing that she had been incorrectly pronounced dead.  Suddenly Lisa and I were so happy but so confused about why she had been pronounced dead.  Within minutes mum was up and looking more alive as the seconds passed.  She almost seemed to get younger and healthier looking.  She wanted to go out and talk to all the people that were waiting in the waiting room grieving for her passing to talk to them all and show them that she was ok.  In fact she wanted to just go outside for a smoke.  As I followed her out, still feeling stunned that she was re-alive, we were on the roof of a building and could see far and wide off in all directions.  Vitali (mum’s brother) was on the roof, and maybe Uncle Fred (mum’s uncle) and she spoke to them for a bit.  I still could not shake the surprise I felt at her being alive again.  I remember crying so much and talking to her and trying to tell her all the things that I wished I had said before.  It felt like such a release to be about to say all the things (I don’t know what they were now) and she totally understood and was very accepting and open.  I do remember talking to her about the problems with my husband and how hard I was finding it.  Go with the flow, is all I can remember.

Then I was suddenly having to go and do a basic driving test as part of the regular tests drivers were meant to have.  ??!  It involved just driving a car along some sort of designated roads through cities etc with someone in the passenger seat.  This was a young man who was clearly very interested in me more so than just because I was taking the driving test.  In fact he seemed to be leading me down a ‘special’ path/road that he thought I would enjoy driving on more.  The test involved some defensive driving and speed driving, and it felt a bit like Fast and the Furious movie.  I really enjoyed the fast driving – manual and powerful car which seemed to hug the road really well.  But all through this I still was feeling the loss of mum and felt like I couldn’t believe I had to do something as silly as a driving test when I had just lost then re-gained my mother.  There was an overwhelming sadness that i knew mum’s re-living wasn’t for forever and that it was just a grace period or something.  I felt very conflicted about the man in the car and wanted to let him in emotionally but kept playing hard ball.  I remember the rush of the car and the adrenalin of being in control of this fast and powerful machine.  I know I drove the car back to where the test had started but that seems to be where the dream finished.


Thanks Tony.

Cheers, Sara

[Tony Crisp]

Sara – Your description paints very clear picture of you having mixed communication with your dead mother. Everything that happens says it is about her death and survival afterwards, yet you are so lost in your grieving for her and wanting her back in her body the dream was skewed. You wanted it other than what it was.

She looked healthier and younger; she wanted to tell everyone that she was okay; she went up on high place where you could see far and wide; all signs that she had arrived at a better place, and all exactly what people who have had near death experiences say. Were Vitali and Uncle Fred dead?

As for the driving test, the main thing is that “I still was feeling the loss of mum”. You felt that even though you had one of the clearest dreams that your mother had survived. Surely it was a test. And it showed you were driving a fast and powerful body, and if you had let someone in you might have realise with great joy what you had experienced, instead of still wanting what cannot be. You might miss their physical presence, but you only grieve for the dead, not for the living.

Tony

[SaraBee]

Thanks Tony.  A large part of me feels like I have 'finished' my grieving for her as I know that she has gone back to the Spirit world to assess her life.  She's also now out of pain.  I feel like her teaching has actually only just begun for myself (and my sister) with so many realisations since her passing... bloody/wonderful hindsight.

Vitali is still alive, but estranged from the family.  He did not attend her funeral and has made no contact with any of the family.  He did however call me up about a month ago to tell me abotu how disappointed he was with her not quitting smoking and also (among other things) how everyone else (the women actually) are responsible for how terrible his life is now.  It was a strange phone call - I felt like I was giving him psychotherapy!  He sounds like he's given up on life and I had been torn about whether to write to him to try to get the proverbial leopard to change his spots. I'd put him out of my mind since.  Uncle Fred passed on quite a number of years ago.  I think they were both alive in the dream, but had more of an ethereal, floaty quality to them.

Interesting interpretation of the driving test - thanks.  I was quite confused about it as it didn't make sense in the context, but your explanation does shed a lot of light.

I find a lot of comfort in talking to mum and asking for her strength/guidance regularly since her passing.  Maybe its just another lesson in loving/appreciating people whilst they are still around so that I don't have any regrets should it change.

xo S