Shark and Shiva

[Rain_Dancer]

I’m wondering what I’ve gotten myself into here…

This is the 2nd dream I’ve had recently that seems to be a whole other reality, it reminds me of The Matrix and almost as if that other reality is more “real” and what’s really happening and this human aspect is a projection of it.

The dream was not clear, yet the feelings and impressions were strong.

I become aware I am dreaming, and I feel like I am in a primordial, oceanic state, there is a sense of “me”, I don’t seem to have a human body or clear boundaries.

I feel pressed in on all sides, by beings who are feeding on me, especially behind me.  A sense of beings attached to my back.  I feel helpless, I can struggle, just a bit, but I mostly am a feeling state.
Fighting these beings off seems useless. I remember a protector who appeared in a recent dream.
In my mind, I clamor “I INVOKE AND CALL ON SHARK!!”  

I feel the great white shark move through me, and her energy surround me.  The beings around me scream and scatter.  She alone isn’t strong enough to overcome whatever this force is that is feeding off of me and wants to keep me trapped, but she has bought me  a bit of time and a little freedom, and I move quickly forward.
I seem to be in a “commons” area, (in my dream I’m thinking “mall”).  The building is a square within a square, and I am walking in the corridor between the walls of the inner and outer walls (oohh…holy goodness…it took me a while to describe that and now it’s coming clearer – walking in the corridor between the walls of the inner and outer walls….).

I feel sharp points of pain all along my left side, especially lower left buttock, as if someone threw a net of small taser darts over me.  I move back and forth between welcoming the sensation and trying to pull out the darts.  I can’t pull them out, they aren’t really physical nor am I..frustrating!

I continue to move along, around the square.  I see a few Asian women ahead, and I knock some things over that they scramble to pick up, I notice the twinge of guilt.  I deliberately knock a couple of women and children over – though I don’t really seem to be lucid, I do know I am dreaming, and it somehow seems important to act out of character – it’s not something I would do in waking life.

I’m still feeling as though something is after me, chasing me, wanting to hold me back and keep me trapped.  In my mind, I call, “SHIVA!” and I suddenly experience myself and surroundings as a vortex of spiraling, colored light.  I march forward, determinedly singing, “shiva shiva shiva shambho, shiva shiva shiva shambho”.  Something isn’t quite right, though, I feel like I’m pleading, and still losing ground.

I come upon a familiar scene (I don’t remember what, maybe the Asian women again) and realize I have come full circle (only, I went in a square, not a circle).

At one point in the dream, I had a distinct impression of being held captive in an artifical embryonic tank, like in the movie Avatar.  Also thoughts of "me" being an experimental hybrid, meant to try to bring together the best qualities of a human and another species.

These kinds of dreams really inspire me to ponder..what is "real"?  What is "me"?  What the heck is going on here??
And then after a night of multdimensional being, I get up and have some berries and go to work and love a plain old admin job in a dirty oil refinery    Chop wood, carry water.

[Leswan]

Wow!   

Some of this is very familiar to me. Not in symbolism but in terms of the feelings you express and your reaction to them - particularly your attempt to assert yourself over the 'outside' forces and your use of mantras.

Absolutely fascinating.

Thanks for sharing!

[Tony Crisp]

Rain_Dancer – Well, here you are bodiless and in a new and advanced level, although you are not sure of it yourself.

The beings feeding on you are not outside you, but are you facing the many aspects of your negative karma that are still sucking your energy. They are the things that are what we call traumas that twis the way life energy flows through us. If you think of life energy like a river, and there are may rocks thrown in the way, and even thing damming the flow; or even like light and many things block it or divert it; then you have an idea of what you are facing.

And don’t get alarmed, we are all in the same boat, we all have them. But you have got to the point that you are aware of them – a real advance. But of course you are still stuck in the old ‘positive thinking’ role and keep trying to think them away. Despite you “singing, “shiva shiva shiva shambho, shiva shiva shiva shambho;” something isn’t quite right, though, I feel like I’m pleading, and still losing ground.” It isn’t quite right because you have bought into something that doesn’t work. You came full circle, because you were trapped in an in between corridor.

I had so many creatures sucking on me and it was only as I dealth with them one by one that I became more fully me. I still have some issues, other wise I would have moved on. So take hold of them and see who they are in your past.

Tony

[Rain_Dancer]

Leswan ~ thanks for your comment!  I've noticed similarities, as well.  I was likely influenced by reading your dream about the non-physical pain, at least in my understanding of the dream.  I really appreciate what you post here.

Tony~ yes...thank you for articulating what I couldn't quite get at.  At least in that moment in time, I was at an impasse where what I was doing wasn't working anymore and hadn't opened up to something new.  The next night I dreamed I found some old things that were familiar and I could take with me, and I chose to leave them.  One of them was an oversized rosary, the color of coral that I associate with "soothing".  I took the dream to reflect that even though it was soothing, I left what represented prayer behind because it was too bulky and heavy.

Last night I dreamed of some very tender moments with ex-boyfriends.  I also spoke in my dream in such a way that it seemed to clear something physically in my throat.  Although I felt tired and unwell this morning, my 3rd chakra feels lighter and more open.  I feel very tired of dreaming, though.  I could use a deep, rejuvenating night's sleep.

[Tony Crisp]

Sleep deeply. And do not work too hard at your dreams. With a little attention they can do a lot of work by themselves.

Tony

[Rain_Dancer]

So here's where this dream has been leading me...
I took into consideration the comment about 'negative karma'.  Last week, I experienced a lucid dream where I was unable to fly beyond the planet's atmosphere and out into the cosmos due to intense pain in my breasts.
I pondered more about karma...read some information that suggested the way to transform karma is to identify more deeply as "god" (which I think of as a verb) -

which lead to a discussion with a Buddhist friend, who introduced me to the practice of Chöd, which lead me to read about "Feeding Your Demons", which is a process for dialoguing with unwanted aspects of self and transforming them.  Rather than fighting them, the idea is to learn what those aspects really want and need, and to become the nectar of it and feed it to them, then ask for an ally (sometimes they transform into allies).  Which is, of course, a variant of dialoguing with dream characters 

In reading about the practice of Chöd I was delighted to read a teacher's experience that was very similar to my dream - in seeing the 'demons' in his meditation, he did the same thing I did - he prayed, chanted, and called on his gods.  Then finaly recognized the demons as manifestations of his own mind and invited them to tea, so to speak.

I plan on playing with this over the weekend, I have noticed that my emotional overeating has kicked up a notch, I pushed away my friend at work and am noticing that all of the loving feelings that opened up in me seemed to have frightened me and kicked in the need to control.

The voice in my head is telling me over and over that it's time to leave my job but I don't know where to go or what to do next so...scary unknown ahead!  Last night I dreamed of an inner woman friend who told me she would help me clean up and redecorate my inner house, and she said she would stand by my in my waking hours as well.  More and more I'm noticing inner friends and dialogue rather than jumbled images, conflict and feeling isolated, as if I am a mere observer in the dream scape.  This seems like a major victory to me, and I am so grateful that life has given me the drive and the ability to somehow, if even a bit, become something other than a perpetuation of the violence and pain of the past.

[Tony Crisp]

Exactly what I said in http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/.

Tony