could someone please interpret my dream?

[kenblade12]

Hi. I have had various dreams over the years, but they all have one thing in common.  My grandparents died over 20 yrs ago, and I was their favourite (as per their words).  Why do I dream that they are alive? That I go to their house and learn that one of them has just died (either my grandma or my pop) and again I am overcome with the grief of their loss?? I have this dream often (but never the same grandparent, (except for their house, which no longer exists in real life) but always the same sense of 'why didn't I get there sooner'?

Why is it that I have only ever dreamt of my husband coming back to check on me .. ONCE after his death, but I seem to dream of my grandparents dying over and over and over. 

Their house is never the same either, but it is as real as can be.  I find myself pinching myself in every dream, to make sure a) it is NOT a dream and b) that they really are alive.  Then they die and I am devastated all over again.

I was late getting to my grandma's funeral (stupid car) and no one in my family (mum, 3 sisters didn't know but dad knew and didn't say anything to anyone) knew of my Pop's passing (nor the funeral etc until it was all over).

If you could address at least the first paragraph I would be extremely grateful.
Cheers
kenblade

[Tony Crisp]

Kenblade – This is obviously about loss. But I want to ask you, loss of what?

I know you dream of your grandparents, but I wonder if there was a particular part of your relationship with them that that was and still is incredible important to you and you are devastated by its loss. And the reason you only dreamt of your husband once was because it was a straightforward communication, and I do not get that sense from your dreams. So I wonder whether you felt really at home with them and miss that closeness. The loss again and again is obviously a huge problem. So I ask again, loss of what?

Maybe if you used the following it might help. http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/

Tony

[kenblade12]

Hi Tony.
Thank you so much for replying to my question of why do I dream about my grandparents dying over and over.

Yes, I was extremely close to them both.  Growing up I remember looking forward to the school holidays when I would spend a week with them (and my younger sister).  I remember walking everywhere with my Pop and he would stop and chat to his friends and comment "these are my granddaughters".  I remember my younger sister hated that Pop would talk to everyone, to try to introduce us to everyone, but I loved that Pop was proud to show us off (so to speak).

I truly do miss them (even more than my nanna (mum's mum) who we spent more time with - Nan would stay at our home for the whole of Dec and 1/2 of January) very much.

I do have my grandmother's wedding ring which although doesnt fit me (and I will not get it re-sized) I do take it out of its box, hold it, and tell Grandma how much I miss her.  I dont have anything else of Grandma & Pop apart from a photo on my fridge of Grandma & Pop that was taken one Christmas, which I look at all the time (telling them that I love them so much).

Yes, I do agree that the connection between my husband and I was different and yes I do agree with you that he came back (in a dream) to make sure that I was coping ok without him.

Yes, I do really miss the closeness that I had with my grandma & pop.  I always wanted to live with them (after my parents split up) but obviously, I couldnt.

Thank you very much for the link, I will read up on it

Thank you for the opportunity to speak to you about my dream
Take care and have a great day
Melinda (aka Kenblade12)

[Tony Crisp]

Melinda - Thank you for replying so fully - I mean it was lovely to read.

This is just a thought that occurred to me reading what you said; I wonder if it would shift the feelings of loss if you tried sitting for a few minutes each say for a week  remembering the good feeling with them. And if you can do that then see it like a seed of love planted deep in you that will grow and flower. so instead of looking back, look forward to that flowering.

Just a thought.

Tony

[kenblade12]

Hi Tony

while reading your post, I had a thought.  I kind of dont think my dream is about loss.  If we dream of flying (which I absolutely love dreaming about) it means that we are aiming to high.  If we dream of going down (like stairs say), where it is dark, it usually means that we dont know where we are going.

I dont think that this dream is about loss.  I will need to think about what is happening in my life when I do dream about Grandma & Pop.

I do have another dream that I have no idea about.  In my dream I am trying to find stairs. up or down it doesnt matter.  If I am at the bottom, I go up only to turn around and kind of step down but try to miss all the steps and just land on the bottom one.  I am not jumping, just taking a large step down (like you do when you go down two by two or three by three).  I love this game (game is what I see it as) and I am constantly looking for stairs thoughout my dream, just so I can practice, have fun with the different steps (like some are just five or six steps but some are 10 or 12 steps).  I often say to others in my dream "hey, check this out... can you do this?" and people are amazed that I can 'step down' so many steps at once.

any thoughts??
and thank you again

[Tony Crisp]

Kenblade – Well, here we go on another adventure of exploration.

I honestly do not think that flying in dreams is us aiming too high. I remember learning to fly as a 9 year old. It took many dreams, all taking place in the grounds of St Pancras church. At first I could only skim the ground in a long jump. But as I learned concentration and confidence that I could do it and not fall, I managed to really take off. It is so clear to me that flying is about confidence and ones growing sense of independence – except when one uses it to escape from someone or a situation you cannot face.

And the stairs one also I remember learning this at about the same time, or maybe nearer teenage. But mine wasn’t falling but skimming down a whole flight of stairs, only nowadays I jump down a whole flight and delight in the sensation. Though I believe yours and my dreams about stairs are based on the fact that as children is was dangerous to fall down the stairs. And as you got older and managed to go down the stairs easily, and even fell down some without damage, your/our confidence grew and so we express that confidence in the stairs dream.

If you get that, then you can gradually change the dreams to jumping/falling down a whole flight of stairs. That is because as we understand the way dreams work, and also actually understand the dream, it actually changes our inner world.

Tony

[kenblade12]

yes yes yes yes  that is it exactly And the stairs one also I remember learning this at about the same time, or maybe nearer teenage. But mine wasn’t falling but skimming down a whole flight of stairs, only nowadays I jump down a whole flight and delight in the sensation

I guess I havent had that dream for so long because I am going through so much... emotionally... and trying to get out of a depression that has only  just been diagnosed but which I have apparently been suffereing from for a very long time (bottling everything for so long doesnt work anymore - but with meds & counselling, I am seeing the light - so to speak).

I think my stair dream will come back when I am feeling much more confident in myself than what I do now

Again Tony, thank you so much for all your help
Take Care

Melinda
(Kenblade)