Apocalyptic Dream

[Aristocrates]

Well, It's been a while since I've posted here.  Anyways, I'm just gonna describe the dream as best as I

remember.  First, I remember trying to call the Air Force recruiter to report to him (i'm joining the U.S. Air Force).  I

have a hard time getting my words out.  (I think this is just something I'm worried about because I have to say

"Sir Trainee Simpson reports as ordered" and it's just strange/foreign to me to talk that way).  Next, I remember

driving toward a city on the way to work at Outback Steakhouse(where I actually work) and stopping off and

being in the parking lot of some shopping center.  My sister is there along with a group of kids.  The kids are

telling me about a book they've read called "Bobby and The Big Green Booger".  (I remember this book from a

book fair we had at my elementary school when I was a young lad.  I think I remember it so well because Bobby

is my name and I was teased a little about it )  So, I get back on the highway and I notice what I imagine to be

an Air Force 1 hovercraft going overhead toward the center of the city.  Well, somehow I have this feeling that

the world is in danger.  Anyways, I go into work and I'm telling some customers that I think the world is in

danger and they just laugh at me.  I get angry and start punching the guy.  (I actually knew the guys face from

school and he's someone I've never had problems with in reality)  I run outside, initially to get away from the

scene, but then I notice that the atmosphere is being sucked into the earth.  At this point the only thing on my

mind is to start running, running to "her" so that I can see her one last time.  Which was really a crazy idea

because she lives 1000 miles away. Anyways, As I'm running I notice the tops of skyscrapers bursting into

flames; the city is turning into a furnace.  Then the situation changes and I'm just worried about sorting things

out at work, if I should call and explain or not worry about it.  It seems that I'm so worked up that I woke up

trembling.  It was bizarre.  I thought I was having a fit for a moment, which has never happened to me.




"Her" is my ex girlfriend.  We were together for 4 years and had a falling out back in October.  She has been a recurring theme in my dreams as of late.  

[Tony Crisp]

Aristocrates – There are so many sections in your dream I am not sure if I have a clear picture of it. But I will try to express what I got from looking at it.

It starts with you going to the Air Force recruiter; which seems to me to be a difficult thing for you. So I wonder what is going on for you with that. Is it difficult because of it being such a new type of activity; or is it a reaction to the whole thing?

Then the scene changes to a more everyday scene, and it feels okay, and the children are a part of your pleasant memories, even though there was some teasing.

Considering this started with the Air Force and some tension, the middle bit was an attempt to get back to normal feelings. But the last part was an intense confrontation and conflict. The punching the guy is an expression of childhood feelings that you never acted out before. And your world is in danger because you are on shifting ground. End of the world dreams often come because we are facing big changes, either inwardly or outwardly or both. So in a way we are facing the death of a way of life.

The running ‘to her’ is a way to get security, and probably means you miss what you had with her, and if you cannot get it back I suggest you look for another woman you can love and be loved by.

The trembling is another sign of enormous changes going on within you. It can also show a tremendous passion or emotions moving you. http://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/peoples-experiences-of-lifestream/#Tom Clear

Tony

[Aristocrates]

I agree.  I was actually somewhat hesitant in posting this dream because of the discontinuity.  All that tied it together was that it all took place in the same geographical area.  I begin the dream by driving to work but I make a stop off and visit my childhood.  Perhaps, it's one last visit before I move on to the next stage in life.  That's another thing.  The dream seems to portray past, present and future: fond past memories, present struggles, and future uncertainties.  I believe punching the guy is how I release my frustration in feeling that I'm not taken seriously or respected by my peers and coworkers.  Not only that,  but also the frustration of feeling misunderstood and socially out-of-touch.  

I'm constantly fighting the urge to attempt running back to her.  The main reason being it has proven futile and destructive already.  I drove to Miami New Year's Day to try and patch things but she "stuck the knife in and twisted it".  It made the 15 hour drive back home seem so much longer.  Haven't contacted her since and, go figure, she hasn't tried to contact me.  At the moment I have little desire to form another relationship.  The flaws that I was finally able to see in her I now project onto most women, especially those closer to my age.  Those flaws are Narcissism being self-centered. 

Another problem that I want to throw out there is that she showed a double standard in making compromises.  I could and was expected to compromise relationships with friends and family, as well as responsibilities pertaining to work and school but there was close to zero compromise with her when it came to those sorts of things. 

Yes, there is so much uncertainty with the Air Force.  I won't really know what i'm getting in to until I do get in to it.  Though, the expected change is becoming more and more welcome.  I believe the Air Force will provide me with many desirable things: independence, new experiences, knowledge.  Thankfully there have been no more Apocalyptic dreams since my last post. Like I said, I believe I'm beginning to become comfortable with the impending changes in my life, to see them in a positive light.  

I agree with you about the passion and emotions moving in me.  Most of the decisions I've made in my adult-life have been emotionally-based.  I'll even admit, I'm joining the Air Force in part because it's something I told her I was going to do.  I thought to myself,"If I do this, she'll see me differently."  And I don't want to go back on my word.  I told her that in a letter I left her with during my little visit among other things. And Ive kept my word in all I said.  However, though the decision was initially emotionally-based, I have slowly sculpted into a more "reality-driven" decision.  For example, I initially desired to join the life-endangering special forces as a pararescueman.  Now, my aim is to become a cryptologic linguist where  I'll learn a foreign language and interpret intel (from a secure location).  I've also done my research.  One really neat thing I learned is that I can get free lasik eye surgery.  Anyways, I'm not here to sale people on the Air Force am I?  I just figured I'd put it all out there for everyone to see, especially Tony.  That way you have more to work with and it makes it personal, which, I mean we're telling our dreams aren't we?  What I mean is if I'm going to spill my guts through my dreams, why not through in all the reality that goes with it as well.  

[Tony Crisp]

Aristocrates - Having been in the air force I can see it as a great training and a wonderful medical opportunity. You get the very best medical treatment. One of my sons also trained as what you call a ‘cryptologist’ in the Royal Air Force – learning Russian. My impression was that he had a lot of close friends – and the opportunity to meet a lot of women.

It is certainly difficult to let go of connections we have made over a long term. The connections are more than emotions and there is a form of counter flow between you that can be difficult to deal with. If you can open yourself up to feel any hurt that was caused and is still active it can help, but only if you can really let it flow out.

There are so many factors in a close relationship, some of which have been called the ‘glamour’ of sexually driven partnerships – glamour meaning the illusionary force of it, which makes of a partner an amazing and desirable creature. I have the benefit of old age and have survived well – I think – a number of relationships with wonderful women. I feel it is worthwhile to be independent and know several partners. It is also worthwhile only getting involved with someone who is likewise independent and has several relationships that she is not bitter about. See http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/growing-up-to-love/ as it might have some interesting things in it.

Apart from that you are creating a future for yourself – aren’t we all though.

Tony