I'm trying to figure out what this dream means, maybe Tony and others can help?
First let me start off by explaining that I have recently come into a major life realization and change. I have found out that I have been emotionally abused my entire life by my mother who has a very bad personality disorder called NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For those of you who don't know about it, it effects your entire life, self esteem, relationships, career, etc. When I found out it was like the veil was lifted and I was seeing my reality and all the things I was living in denial about for 34 years. So, my process of healing has begun as I am trying to undo many negative patterns that my mother inflicted in my subconscious. It is not easy and I have very deep depression that I am trying to overcome in addition to anxiety and frequent panic attacks.
The other part of info, is that all of my life I have dreamt of my grandparents old house. When I was younger up until the age of 14 my cousins (I'm an only child) and I would spend summers at our grandparents house where they had a big backyard and a swimming pool. Many of my dreams take place there as well as the house I grew up in, and throughout the years I have found many relevant meanings and symbols within those dreams in those houses.
Here is the dream I had last night:
I was at my grandparents old house and someone was attempting to rob it or do something illegal, something that involved an invasion of the house. It was a man and a woman and the woman was in a car and the man had a big bus, like a tour bus that he was parking in the back yard of the house. I was inside and trying to dial the police emergency but the first time I couldn't get through. I was in a panic as I didn't want them to break in. Then I finally got a lady on the phone and she was not in any rush to help me and I was trying to explain to her that I had an emergency but she was asking me irrelevant questions.
Then the emergency arrived and I was standing at the bottom of the driveway of my grandparents old house, and the female emergency person gave me a gift that was from *John* (changed the name of my last relationship, he was a guy who was very emotionally abusive, he always belittled me as well as cheated on me. We are no longer together as I learned a big lesson with him.) The female emergency lady was not a police officer but more like a life rescue person. She came to give me a gift that was from *John*, as she told me that he had just passed away. I started crying as I was in shock. In the dream we had either just got engaged or married. The gift she gave me that was from him was a ring that was not in the full form of a ring but like a twisted gold band. It had a pattern of small bumps on it, and it had an engraved picture of something like two birds facing each other (I can't quite remember). The other gift he left me was a small plastic bag of dark colored and purple herbs like tea or some kind of fragrance.
Then I was inside *John's* apartment and his mother was also there as we where starting to clean up and pack away his things. I was concerned for her loosing her son. We were in his bedroom and he had all of his clothes and shoes there as I noticed there was one black high heel mixed in with his shoes. The feeling of jealously and anger came up as I was thinking about him seeing someone else, even knowing he had passed away and knowing that we had broke up.
Then we were at the site where he died, as it was an intersection that was a street and a railroad that had been overgrown with greenery. I felt sad that he was gone. It seemed to be people walking around but the only one that I saw clearly was a young pale, thin woman wearing all black that walked by me as I thought she was very frail and sickly looking. She looked me straight in the eyes.
*Also, a few nights ago I dreamt of being in my grandparents old house and someone was trying to break in to rape me and I was panicking.
Any ideas as to what all this means?
