I normally don't do stuff like this, but I keep dreaming on my Ex and I wake up and wonder why? I'll try to be brief. I was married to this guy back in the 90's, he was like my handsome prince, but we were young and both did drugs, which eventually ended our relationship. We divorced and both remarried, etc. and I got sober a few years later. We would keep in touch through email maybe once a year, and we even got together for dinner once about 11-12 years ago, it was nice but his life was going in a totally different direction than mine, so I thought I had resolved my hidden thoughts that one day we might meet up in an old folks home
Anyway, the last time I heard from him he questioned me about my sobriety and said he was also a friend of Bill W, I emailed him back but didn't hear anything more. About 3 years ago I remember dreaming about him (they were always really pleasant dreams) and that I hadn't heard from him in over a year, through some searches on the Internet I learned he had passed away the previous year. I was stunned beyond beleif! I sent my sympathies to his Mom and we got together for lunch and that was when she told me he never could get sober and his spiral down ended with him shooting himself in the head. She also told me that a few weeks before he died he told her he still loved me and that he had made some poor choices. It took me weeks to not think of him every day. That finally passed but I have noticed that this last year he periodically shows up in dreams (the ones I remember), nothing specific really just that he is there and hanging out with all the other people that show up. In one of the dreams I think he wanted us to go and do something, but I couldn't because I am remarried. In these dreams I don't think of him as dead, it isn't until I wake up and think of him and then remember he is gone. OK, that was longer than I wanted it to be, thanks for letting me ramble.
