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Author Topic: open wounds and hunchbacks  (Read 5156 times)

warriorqueen

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open wounds and hunchbacks
« on: May 03, 2012, 03:36:49 PM »
I dream I'm searching for home.  I get on a subway, get out.  I see alot of buildings, can't see my apartment building.  Not sure I'm walking in the right direction.  I ask someone, who points me one way.  I go, end up on a very deserted street, a poverty stricken area.  It's raining and rain is making cars splash dirty water.  I jump up out of the way of the dirty water and then climb up to the other side of the street.  I'm in a very poor neighborhood.  Like a slum.

I follow what looks like a poor, misshapen man--a hunchback who is lame, and end up in this maze where it's a leper colony.  Someone knows the way through and I'm following.  it gets narrow and I can't pass this man who has open sores all over him without touching him and fearing I'll be contaminated.  He has stumps for legs.  There's a baby there too, and I'm afraid if I touch these sore-ridden people I'll get leprosy.  So I actually threaten one to keep it back, a very quick moving tiny one who lies down in a small pallet meant for him--I feel guilty threatening somone so small and helpless but I go by. 

I end up in a different area, following a woman.  I know she's the healer/tender of the place.  I keep following but she's always turning a corner, out of my sight and I have to guess.  Finally I duck into a room.  It's dark, quiet, with all the furniture in order.  I speak out one exit and it's dark outside, with beautiful white sand and sandy water.  But I'm looking for her.  I turn into the room which is a whole apartment.  I peer around a wall and there she is: an old woman, with white hair.  I realize it's M. (a very elderly woman in my real life who mothers me).  She says:  "Hi!  you made it!  I ask her if I can shower.

This is not an easy dream for me to write here.  Even while I was in the dream, I felt alot of embarrassment and aversion toward these wounded, misshapen folks, which may represent the wounds I bear, and how they are not closed after a very long time.  I would like some advice for how to enter the dream and bring healing.

Tony Crisp

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Re: open wounds and hunchbacks
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2012, 11:42:49 AM »
WarriorQueen – My dear woman, this is a lovely dream, because it is honest and admits something. And that is the first step toward healing.

I know because I have dreamt of being a midget, surrounded my mad people who threatened me, seeing malformed bodies who I felt linked to with love, being in a death pit surrounded by decaying bodies, and many other things.

None of us are whole, but we all hide our malformed self, often under beautiful bodies. So do not judge yourself. “Judge not and be not judged” for you are in the midst of all of us with sores.

As for healing – as your Great Mother said to you, “Hi - you made it.” That is a sure sign that seeing and feeling what you did is a part of healing.

I suggest you imagine going to all those people in your dream and laying your hands on them and feeling the feelings that arise. Remember that in our dreams nothing can hurt us, and the disease we see is our own inner sickness. And if, as you lay your hands upon them, you ask for healing for them – the laying on of hands, it is you healing yourself.

Tony
« Last Edit: May 07, 2012, 01:59:40 PM by Tony Crisp »

warriorqueen

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Re: open wounds and hunchbacks
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2012, 11:24:58 PM »
Thank you Tony, for your kindness.  Funny, I know you can't know this, but this is certainly not a first step for me in attempting to heal.  In fact, I felt distress primarily because of how fresh/chronic the wounds seemed,  in spite of my best efforts not to cover over, but to truly heal the wounds caused by many injuries to the heart/self.  The part of me that is a healer for others found my aversion almost as difficult as these wounded creatures.
Can you say briefly how you go back into the dream, or, if it's on this site, send me a link how I can try?
WQ

Tony Crisp

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Re: open wounds and hunchbacks
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2012, 10:25:50 AM »
WarriorQueen – I have found that most real traumas are not healed by one session or dream. Usually it takes a number of healing manoeuvres. I remember my first one took several years to deal with. The point is that as a person, as a personality we are a tiny outgrowth of something very old, and as such like a new shoot on a plant we are very vulnerable. Look around and see how many people are on antidepressant, need alcohol everyday, are on street drugs, or cling onto a belief system for strength.

I see that certain things need our personal strength to grow in order to meet things. So your dream is a wonderful sign that you are getting strong enough to meet hurts. Even so I think it will take time and learning to do – and that it only one of many. We all have multiple things to deal with. It took me twelve years of work to face a real nasty I had buried in me. But each one we deal with takes us closer and more fully into the peace that is there all the time behind the lumps of human misery.

As for how to go back into the dream I think at first you need to get an image of the dream or part of it. It doesn’t have to be a clear imagine as it is just a reminder of the dream. So I quote from Mind and Movement describing how Marilyn entered her dream.

There were two main ways Marilyn gained insight from her dream. Firstly she took on the physical posture of the dinosaur - inasmuch as she could. From that starting point she allowed herself to spontaneously express body movements, etc. So she was giving the process a key starting point by holding the posture and thinking of the dream. Also, when she allowed spontaneous movement her unconscious was enabled to ‘comment’ on the dream, add to it, or continue it - and by continue I here mean bring it nearer to conscious understanding. (It is important to realise that as we dream our brain sends out all the impulses to move, but these are blocked by a part of the brain called the pons. So allowing movement is a real step in connecting with the dream process.) One might, for instance, in intellectually considering the meaning of the dinosaur, think of it as an angry beast. When Marilyn explored her feelings and spontaneous expression of the creature, she found it not to be angry but all - devouring. The subtle difference between the two was important for her in enabling her to define what it portrayed of herself.

When Marilyn reached points where she could gain no further insight another approach was used. I asked her to imagine that she stepped into the body of the dinosaur and see what it ‘felt’ like. If this was unclear I suggested she swung between being herself and being the dinosaur, and compare the difference between the two states. In our dreams we often create people or objects which are important. The approach of standing in the very form of the person or thing, using the ‘open screen’ technique described in chapter two, and noting changes of feeling, is a way of grasping very subtle and basic qualities being expressed in the dream. By themselves the movements and feelings may not bring insight into the dream. What happened for Marilyn was that once she had become aware of the ‘predator’ feeling it immediately recalled to mind her experience as a child. Her family had criticised her for having a childish feeling and wanting some sweets when she was send on an errand, and this left her feeling like predator. So in working in this way one must leave the doors of ones being open, so to speak, to allow these associated memories and realisations to emerge. Therefore it helps if the question is in the back of ones mind as to what connection the movements, words or arising feeling, have with past or present experience. Do not be content with a purely intellectual understanding or interpretation. When you find real insight into a dream it will be accompanied by something of a thrill or feeling of satisfaction, and there will be little or no room for doubt that the dream has been unveiled.

Also see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions/#SymbolDream

Tony