Neat Answers

Have you seen the new store,
Down at the mall?
It’s simply called Neat Answers.
It’s got a great display,
Can’t take your eyes away.
Everything you need is there
To deal with life today.
It’s like a Chinese restaurant,
All numbered neat and clean,
All the equipment ready,
To get you through the day.

There’s something there for everyone.
It’s definitely for you!
They’ve got all the neat answers,
That help to pull you through.
Neat answer No 1,
Bestseller on the list,
Is called —
‘I Think I’ll Have a Drink!’
It comes with glass and bottle,
And is cheaper than you think.

Neat answer No 2,
Almost sells as well.
‘Come Read the Bible,
Escape the Flames of Hell’,
Is what they call it,
An easy one to sell.
There’s one called
Make Love to Your Neighbour.
One wrapped in black,
Called, ‘Pull The Plug.’
Or, ‘Join The Moonies’
Seemed like fun,
Better than,
‘Take Up Jogging Son.’

I’m not quite sure,
Which one I would choose.
Not, ‘Wank off Every Day.’
Nor even the popular,
‘Stand Up and Have Your Say.’
But there is one that intrigues me.
It’s very small you see.
It’s wrapped in shiny cellophane,
And simply says,
‘ It’s Me!

Tony Crisp

Copyright ©2002 Tony Crisp