Thank you Tony
It's great to fight back for a change.
It's impossible to fight back, in dreams or life, if you feel you deserve to be attacked.
Abusers always make sure you believe this.
It's impossible to confront fear, if the fear is, that you are utterly worthless..
and you think facing the fear means - that you will discover for certain that that is true..
..and therefore be annihilated. Eternal death.
for me, in life, in dreams.. starting to 'believe' I deserve more than pain and abuse..gives me a voice, to scream at the wind.
I think that belief is developing because my dreams have been showing to me, just how much pain and terror I've held inside. It was invalidated by others, I was in denial, but through my dreams it has finally gotten to speak, to be listened to, believed, which integrates a lot I was split off from.