Windows

[Omega]

Hi Tony,

Over the course of the past year I keep dreaming about really big windows.

Initially a series of dreams of absolutely massive estate mansions. I was reminded of this again last night when I dreamt of a very big city house, being cleaned out by the female character of the dream, someone she had been looking after for years had finally died she was exhausted but happy to be able to start cleaning out. The house felt dark and stagnant, though it was still quite a nice house.

I went back to her later, outside hundreds of bags of rubbish, the first floor room was freshly painted and had so many windows there was hardly any wall! It was beautiful, all these huge old windows.. and all this clean airy space. It was dark outside but this room seemed to have daylight.

[Tony Crisp]

Omega - First of all, you are a much bigger person than you let on or even admit to yourself - shown by the massive estate buildings and the big city house.

The reason you haven't seen this about yourself is that your life so far has had to meet problems, mostly within you. That made you feel as if a lot of your energy and time was taken up by caring for the things that troubled you. But in fact a huge change is about to take place.

The female character in the dream actually represent the go ahead, take no nonsense 'do it' person that you are, but again you do not identify it as you. The hundreds of bags of rubbish are the old muck and rubbishy thoughts and feelings that are now being got rid of. It was because of all the muck you had to get rid of that you did not, or have not yet, realised what a wonderful life you have, with so much space, creativity and potential.

The huge windows provide a very wide and clear view of people, and everyday life. Your view or perceptions are not narrow or limited by small windows which make it difficult to really see or understand things.

You have turned a corner in your life, and you will slowly realise you are have a lot of space to create within the big inner world you have created, and this will show in the way you relate to and handle the outer world. Although the outer world often seems dark, you have an inner light that can shine out of you - let it shine, because the great windows allow your light to shine on others. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/identification-and-identity/

Tony

[Omega]

That's great thank-you Tony. Thank you so much for your response..
Interesting about the windows being perception.. I do feel that as I'm allowing myself to feel my feelings, I'm getting the benefit my natural instincts more, without being confused by religious and new age intellectual distortions.

I think this same character, same age, same blonde hair, same pretty/elegance..may be a development as she's been around before..in the past 6 months..

One - I was a man and she was my partner and I killed her, not graphically just a knowledge I had done so as I looked at her body under the floor boards, I walked down the street feeling unbelievable stress and hoping I wouldn't give myself away as a murderer by my behaviour and get caught..

Another I was this incredibly powerful beast, I somehow attacked this woman, she had been behind slightly mirrored glass in the foyer of a building, the glass shattered and she lay in a pool of blood.. The glass was embedded in my face and hands..I ran out onto the dark street looking for a public garden I usually hide in at night.. I was running with all this glass in my face, I felt huge, a monster, but fearful I would be caught..

Last week. I can barely walk, I'm incredibly weak and my legs are just about to buckle beneath me. Hundreds of migrants are starting to fill the road, I'm afraid I'll be trampled on, I manage to make it to a stairs at the side of a building. On the stairs is a blonde lady talking about how she works in publishing. I'm just relieved to be safe and able to rest, I don't really engage with her.

This week I had a lovely dream about meeting a really nice guy who really wanted to be with me, we were walking by a river homewards, a really nasty female stalker was behind..but I wasn't afraid of her and she seemed to disappear..then I noticed in the river this blonde lady was walking on the surface of the water effortlessly, I was amazed and thought she must be an angel or some very masterful being..but I was kind of acceptant then that she would be doing that and just turned around and carried on walking home with the guy..

Then the dream I mentioned already..

P.S. what does it mean to be a 'bigger person'?  Healers I've gone to say I have great energy. Which confuses me as I've gone to them because I'm suffering.  All my energy has meant in my life so far, is that I attract limpets and people who want to drain me, not praise or appreciate me. My energy does not come from being cherished and protected in my childhood anyway!!
What would actively being this bigger person look like?

[Tony Crisp]

Omega - I couldn't help laughing at the often comic way we all try to communicate with each other - like my words, "much bigger person" and of course your wonderful question, "What would actively being this bigger person look like?"

I wasn't laughing at you Omega, but at the way we try to communicate with clumsy words. We all have slightly or massive difference in what we associate with the words we use.

But to try to answer your question, I believe it is several things, like being able to move around easily in yourself without being hampered by pain, confusion or self doubts; being able to act more satisfyingly and creatively in yourself and in the world. To have so much more space to be able to do and be what you want to be and do - in short to feel like a healthy, loving human being with joy. In case I haven't already mentioned it, see http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/water-wonderland/

Tony

[Omega]

Thank you Tony! I get it. Yes. And I really like this idea of life flowing through us.. It's like all the yoga and meditation and reading etc etc.. all are just branches off..pathways in, to the ever present force. So much simpler, so much closer to what I felt in childhood. I do have moments now, where I feel this force carrying me, if not yet flowing through me..

Re my other dreams, is that my anima animus battling it out?
I read a lot about being chased by monsters - but what is being the monster?
And all that broken glass (I had several dreams before this, being injured by glass my self )
And the poisonous stalker woman? Is she anima? Are blondey and nasty women different aspects of anima?
If you are a woman, what's the difference between female character of 'self' and one of 'anima'?

Last night I had a dream, again in a huge house. I hear knocking someone calling and go down. There is a huge hallway and front door, rich dark wood and frosted glass, I can't see who is there, only enough to know it's a girl she's agitated pacing back and forth, I'm scared she's crazy, dangerous. I chose to not open it, even though I know she will have seen I had been standing there. I go back up the broad flight of stairs, red carpet, to a similarly grand wood and glass inner door, then up another flight to a smallish room where I am mending curtains. There are two men with me and I find their presence odd, I didn't want them in my space but I feel I have to accept it when they say they are helping me with the curtains, but I think boys don't know how to sew..

Sorry if it's too many questions, I have read about four of your books and lots of the articles on this site, just working on putting it all together..

Thankyou!

[Tony Crisp]

Omega – I am not sure what dreams you mean when asking whether it is your anima and animus battling it out. It is simpler to see it as a straight forward conflict - http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/conflicts/

The question about what is being the monster is easier – the monster is usually the life process that you are scared of, so it appears monstrous. As an example – I dreamt I was fighting to keep a door closed, with my feet against the door and trying protect the young boy I was. A monster was fighting it get in and I was desperate to stop it, protecting the young boy.

I explored my dream - and find feelings and memories of a time I was frightened as a young boy because a war was on. So I imagined opening the door to see what I felt. It was Life trying to get into my life. I had locked out the flow of Life in me through fear. 

Being the monster is described in http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

Your dream again shows you what a great body and inner life you have - a huge hallway and front door, rich dark wood and frosted glass. But you have so many fears you shut out the young part of you because ‘I'm scared she's crazy’.

Have had thoughts or feelings that you are crazy or mentally ill? Because you are not ill, but have developed awful habits of anxiety shutting out helpful and supporting feelings – the same with the men. Remember that whenever we dream its images are not like real life, because a dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen, so that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage – except if you run in fear; so all the things that scare you are simply your own fears projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind.

You say, “I have read about four of your books and lots of the articles on this site, just working on putting it all together. It also  took me many years to get an overall understanding, but it will come. Not necessarily from what I write, for they are pointers to something beautiful that you will recognise when it is experienced. So take your time. Have you read the series of small features under http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/

Tony

[Omega]

Thank-you Tony, I'm reading my way through these ☺️

The only thing about the 'helpful' men, is that they are people I suspect of abusing me in some way as a child..

As an adult that was always abusers way through my defenses, either playing a victim in need of help, or playing helper..usually something I didn't really need help with..but out of politeness could not refuse.