It took me two years to overcome my resistance before I dared to explore what Tony has called Life Stream. To me it is like entering Heaven. In these previous years I have learned a lot from him and more important, I unlearned a lot with him, which I see as one of the reasons why my first experience with “My Body is a Moving Sea” was literally beyond words.
Life began in the sea, at the depths. Our blood is salt in the same degree as the ancient sea, and thus we have an inner sea. In your dreams it represents the universal and fundamental processes of life in you. Awareness of these processes is not easily accessible to your conscious mind, but is nevertheless constantly influencing you and what you do. When you do at times have some consciousness of this level of yourself, it is often experienced as a huge ocean of mind, the collective unconscious as Jung called it. It feels like nature’s memory, where all experience is stored. So in your dreams about the sea, you may be accessing some aspect of this immensity. It took me two years to overcome my resistance before I dared to explore what Tony has called Life Stream. To me it is like entering Heaven. In these previous years I have learned a lot from him and more important, I unlearned a lot with him, which I see as one of the reasons why my first experience with “My Body is a Moving Sea” was literally beyond words. I also see – or have chosen to believe – that the other reason why it was beyond anything I have experienced before is that the decision to go for it was based on an inner longing “to be the Sea”, a longing I did not understand for I did not even know WHAT I was longing for. I am still grateful though that I decided to listen to this “Something that came from deep within me” and to which I was able to return “while I was the Ocean”. I remembered I had read this facet of Life Stream in Tony’s book “Liberating the Body” and so I made my way through some of the preparation exercises in the chapter “Letting the body speak” which exercises I decided not to do mainly “because it did not feel right”. “Did not feel right” might as well be intuition mixed with being lazy; anyway it worked out well to just enter the Ocean without any preparations.
Tony had mentioned to listen to music and so I had downloaded an Album which is called “The Healing Power of the Sea” by Edwin Evans.
I had also copied part of the session that had spoken to me and before I started I had read it a few times with the intention to become one with the approach in words first, so my mind knew what to do.
Stand in your space with eyes closed. Drop unnecessary tensions as you listen to the music. Hold in mind for a moment the idea that you are giving your body space to explore the expression of the quality of water. There is no need to think up what to do. Let your body explore. Trust it to find its own way to expressive movements. Allow yourself about 30 minutes for this.
You will find you have resources of imagination you did not suspect. Aspects of water you hadn’t consciously set out to explore will be expressed in your movements. If you are expressing deep still waters, you will actually feel a deep quietness and power. Or if it is the power of rushing rivers, then a feeling of power will surge through your body as you touch your resources of strength and healing. The flowing feelings that arise are actually healing.
As you learn to trust this process and allow it to grow in expression, you will find unexpected themes will arise. Even though you are expressing water, your expression will have in it feelings that are particular to yourself.
Using the ‘water movements’ has the benefit of toning the body. It brings harmony between the emotions and body. Your feelings are allowed to be active and thereby move to emotional well-being. Areas of your body and mind not usually allowed pleasure are bathed in it.
For practical reasons I had put a hairband (sweatband) on my head so the earphones of my MP3 player would not fall out while making movements.
The moment I had started the music and closed my eyes I lost all thoughts.
I have often read the words “Intention is everything” and this experience I have chosen to accept as a reflection that it must be true.
I immediately dropped in a space where there are no words and no thoughts and for a thinker like me, it felt beyond any description to break free from the tyranny of thoughts and to enter silence, again. I did not know that that was only the beginning of a journey into a different dimension of communication.
I opened my eyes a few times and it was at these moments that I was able to become aware how deep inside my self – my mind? – I must have dropped, for the moment I looked into the room “I” immediately started rising from deep within me to the surface again.
It was like “Something inside me” knew the way back to this world of thoughts as well.
At the first part of this session I enjoyed this bathing in thoughtless movements; not having to decide what to do next.
Freedom from thinking and from taking decisions felt replenishing.
Then “out of the Blue” “I” – “I” was a water drop – entered into a wordless, very “moving” communication with The Sea.
“Moving” because allowing my body to speak moved me to tears; it was new and yet “It” felt so familiar.
Communicating through feelings and movements only is to me a wonder filled means to not edit anything, to allow whatever feeling and movement that arises without judging and without the need to understand it with thoughts, which turned out as I only realised the next day to be a very healing experience for my body.
When I sensed that “everything was communicated” I allowed my being to arise again and it had turned out that I had needed almost 30 minutes to journey into a state which I like to call Heaven and back again.
The next day I became aware of a change inside my body. While walking I was able to sense and feel how the block between my butt and my upper legs had disappeared and now it felt like one part instead of my legs hanging somewhere under my butt without having a real connection with the upper part of my body.
There was also a clear feeling of strength in my legs that I had not experienced before.
I perceive it as New Worlds opening up on all levels
The next day I allowed my body to speak the experience was different; which Tony had mentioned as well: “Love – it is LifeStream – for Life streams through you. And Life is so creative it is different for everybody and every time”.
And it WAS different!
At some point I lost more than my thoughts, for I did not perceive it anymore that I was moving my arms; I had become “energy in motion” without an awareness of my body; I WAS energy!
Freedom from thoughts and from having a body!!
I wonder what more there is to explore.
“Love – it is LifeStream – for Life streams through you. And Life is so creative it is different for everybody and every time”.