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Dream Interpretation / All one
« on: July 24, 2016, 03:31:51 AM »
So, I get that all of my dream characters are me...my brain is creating all of them and the scenario. I feel kind of curious about some dream snippets I experienced last night.
I don't remember a lot of the dream - I mostly remember that there were other men around, who were also me, running around with long sharp garden shears, cutting things in their path. One of them rushed past me (it was also me at the same time but my perspective was primarily as viewing him) and I grabbed the huge shears out of his hand reflexively, without even thinking or worrying about injury to myself. I wondered at this...
Then, in the same room with the same people, a man approaches me. He is my father (not resembling my father in waking life). I am so physically attracted to him. I feel extremely aroused by him, and, I am him at the same time feeling turned on by me. I am wrapped around him, grinding on him and he is holding me. We may be saying, this is ok now or something along those lines, and I feel like I can hardly stand to hold back and am practically begging him to enter me but at the last minute, something stops us and it might be "his" guilt or mine or some sense of wrongness, not exactly sure. I felt sad and rejected and frustrated.
In waking life, I've been diligently moving towards getting unstuck in my life. I've managed to create a car accident where I totalled my car, it caught on fire! Yet I walked away with only bruises, feeling very focused on the euphoria of having survived, but at the same time I managed to put myself in a hole financially. I then went on to make some extensive and expensive damage to a friend's vehicle that I'm not sure how I will pay for, putting me further in a financial hole. I broke a long-standing pattern of 'chasing' an unavailable and disrespectful man, even though it felt agonizing because the chemistry was so intense and the self-doubting voices telling me I was screwing everything up were at full volume...sigh...
Not long ago I dreamed of the same shadowy father figure, only then I woke up feeling electric shocks all through me and FURY at his abuse of me. Which is my own abuse of myself, I suppose.
It seem the inner saboteur is coming out in force, it all feels related. I don't know exactly how to handle all of this or what to make of it. I'm sort of fishing for an epiphany here..
I don't remember a lot of the dream - I mostly remember that there were other men around, who were also me, running around with long sharp garden shears, cutting things in their path. One of them rushed past me (it was also me at the same time but my perspective was primarily as viewing him) and I grabbed the huge shears out of his hand reflexively, without even thinking or worrying about injury to myself. I wondered at this...
Then, in the same room with the same people, a man approaches me. He is my father (not resembling my father in waking life). I am so physically attracted to him. I feel extremely aroused by him, and, I am him at the same time feeling turned on by me. I am wrapped around him, grinding on him and he is holding me. We may be saying, this is ok now or something along those lines, and I feel like I can hardly stand to hold back and am practically begging him to enter me but at the last minute, something stops us and it might be "his" guilt or mine or some sense of wrongness, not exactly sure. I felt sad and rejected and frustrated.
In waking life, I've been diligently moving towards getting unstuck in my life. I've managed to create a car accident where I totalled my car, it caught on fire! Yet I walked away with only bruises, feeling very focused on the euphoria of having survived, but at the same time I managed to put myself in a hole financially. I then went on to make some extensive and expensive damage to a friend's vehicle that I'm not sure how I will pay for, putting me further in a financial hole. I broke a long-standing pattern of 'chasing' an unavailable and disrespectful man, even though it felt agonizing because the chemistry was so intense and the self-doubting voices telling me I was screwing everything up were at full volume...sigh...
Not long ago I dreamed of the same shadowy father figure, only then I woke up feeling electric shocks all through me and FURY at his abuse of me. Which is my own abuse of myself, I suppose.
It seem the inner saboteur is coming out in force, it all feels related. I don't know exactly how to handle all of this or what to make of it. I'm sort of fishing for an epiphany here..