I asked for a healing dream..
A man pulls up aggressively in a black sports car with black windows. I am at a retreat centre. Somehow he breaks into my room. There's a real dry emotionless quality to him. He sits on a table challenging me to do something. I ask him to leave, he is really smug and the more upset or scared I get the more he enjoys it. I start shouting saying I'll call the police, he laughs he's loving my distress. I decide to leave and not call the police to call his bluff. I go to a music concert - while there I panic realising he could find my diaries and read how I try to heal and protect myself and use that to attack me more effectively. I run back, I ask a friend to come but he's so passive he'll be useless, then he turns into another friend who is at least tall and burly, he turns into a black haired girl. I get back and my room has been utterly and completely ransacked, I don't recognise anything as everything is so broken - the sheer violence is still hanging in the air and effects me deeply, the message is he'll be back for me next time. I rush around looking for the diaries, it's not clear if I find them. Then I collapse on my knees, letting out huge cries of despair/grief/overwhelm..
(I see this as a healing aspect of the dream..)
Next day I go into the kitchen of the main house and over hear the black haired girl who came to help say how she was hoping something would 'happen' between us that's why she really came along.. I feel so angry, so sick of being a sexual object, not even women are safe, always wanting something from me.. I plug my phone in to charge under the kitchen table beside someone else's and walk off quietly so she doesn't know I've heard, relieved at least I know her true intentions..
*oh yes.. then I went back and was standing outside my room, looking at the landscape pondering, when a herd of cows and their calves came, a black calf came and nuzzled me, I petted it, but was aware of how unlike a dog it was, so strong and that I better watch my toes as it moved about, it could even knock me over.