I was wondering why the hedgehog and the bar scene were together. Working with men, men as bosses, a former husband and my son, I was always defensive and prickly throwing barbs or depressed about being put second to them by them. Sometimes when I was assertive, they would just assert their maleness which was usually putting down me. Sometimes they would offer money instead of respet, apologizing and/or changing attitude or behavior. At some point I could not pay for their behavior any more, or mine and no one's money was going to fix anything. I have not been around men for a majority of my time the last several years, and I finally feel like I am allowing myself to feel my vulnerability, without having to defend it to someone or have it invalidated or minimized.