While I was watching an episode of Star Trek – Enterprise, I had a powerful emotional reaction to it, one of wonder, curiosity and excitement. I cried out, “What the fuck does it all mean?” and I felt my question was being answered. This was followed by a sense that I had entered a different state of mind.
The first experience was as if a voice was talking to me, but it wasn’t just words, but was also understanding about what I was told. To start with, “Tony, when you were young you went Beyond.” I understood this to mean when I was about nine or ten I had a surgical operation on my nose. I was given an anal anaesthesia and during it I fought the nurses because it felt as if I were dying.
In the present experience, I was told I had died and the experience was so vast but never remembered at the time, but had influenced my life extraordinarily. I had not died physically, but even so I had experienced death and went beyond the normal view of life. The going beyond was still working in my life, and so I was told the following:
It was that in a few years’ time, the world situation would worsen, a chaotic situation would occur. I was warned that it was good that we would be living abroad because it would not be so bad there, but even so it would be wise to protect ourselves.
I remembered some of what happened to me, because the nurses never explained what they were doing to me, and the operation was on my nose so they tried to use an anal anaesthesia. The result was I fought like hell and kicked whatever the nurse were using to pour into me, out of her hands. The operation took place about 1947. Here is something I entered into my journal in 1975 after I had used LifeStream.
“Some of the first things said were, “I’ve got three things up my arse.” I am writing this in much later, so forget some details. But the main theme is clear and strong. It was all to do with the rectal anaesthetic. I started by cursing at the nurses, and releasing feelings never touched in the reliving of the event. I didn’t like women. I don’t like women. The feelings were there because it was not explained to me what was going to happen about the rectal anaesthetic so I fought and kicked the equipment away from me. The nurse simply came back with other people held me down and gave me the anaesthetic. So, it felt like I was being attacked despite my pleading for them not to.
As this came up masses of realisations poured out. I saw that because the two nurses had attacked me, I had hated and feared women. After all, two of them apparently attacked me in order to kill me. I felt that way because as I went under the anaesthetic, it felt to me that I was dying and experiencing death, along with a state of consciousness in which I felt to be God. It hit me powerfully that from there on I started reading and being fascinated by books, first on science fiction, then on death, yoga, rebirth and God. I was about nine at the time of the anaesthetic. All my life I have been trying to understand how I was God. In fact it started with many exclamations of, “I am God.”
Now it developed further. “Don’t do that. Dirty boy. You dirty boy.” I was amazed as this came up. I felt sure one of the nurses had said this as I fought and kicked the anaesthetic from her hands. So, I had been hypnotised into not fighting for my life, and being a “dirty boy”. The session finished here, so I didn’t get into seeing how this had hypnotised me, and influenced me.”
Later still, using LifeStream I saw why the ‘Going Beyond’ was wiped from my awareness. It was because the mixture of meeting death and the fear of the nurses pushing me into death had caused terror in me, terror I couldn’t deal with as a child.
Going Beyond means going beyond the usual limitations of the body and its senses. But it is also ways of going beyond your habits of reactions, moving beyond the habitual thought directions you take, and the ways we get stuck in life.
Another description is Altered States of Consciousness. It is also often linked with Out of body Experiences and Near Death Experiences. But I want to show how it can be provoked by normal life experiences.
If you can understand that this type of going beyond is just as life changing as near death experiences, it opens a whole new way of seeing the way forward for children and adults.
Most of us only know life through the limitations of our body senses, and through the things we had be brought up to believe. We probably believe we ARE the shape of our body, and we can only do what it can do. However, as can be seen from the lives of some of the people who have extended their awareness, our mind can sometimes reach completely beyond the body senses. When we first find the narrow walls of our senses disappearing, most of us feel some panic, and may fear we are dying. Some people having an anaesthetic feel this fear or experience going beyond.
I feel that children are often misinterpreted as being over imaginative or fanciful because they often have already gone beyond without any unusual experiences being the cause. I have seen this in at least two of my children.
A good example is when my son Neal was young. I was standing in the kitchen leaning against the range to keep warm, and thought I needed to get my shoes that were in another room where Neal was. I thought of shouting to him but thought it was too complicated for him to understand. Then a few moments later Neal walked in carrying my shoes.
At another time, I was driving my car on a cold morning taking my children to school. I couldn’t see out of the back window, it was prior to having heater strips in car windows. I thought so asking Neal to wipe it, but felt he didn’t have anything to wipe with. A moment later I checked mirror and saw Neal was wiping the window with his hand.
One more – My son Leon told me when he was about ten, that he was going to earn a lot of money, and he was going to use it to purchase a large piece of land and keep animals on it. Years later this has all come about.
The thing is that we should never criticise our children for telling us such things. Even if they do not come about, children imagination is a powerful and useful thing to have.
But it took years to understand the statement, “I am God.” It was 1984 when I saw that not only I am God, but so is everybody else. In fact everything is God’s substance. It would take too long to explain it here, but it is all in Big Bang and God are the Same
Can We Learn from It?
I personally do not have a collection of other cases to support my claim. And my claim is that we are all the time only a hairbreadth away from experience our own hugeness. The example I gave of Neal shows that we are actually in a situation of sharing our awareness without any great stimulating circumstances, or even being aware of it. Our mind may be part of the hugeness and we only shut it out because of our training to avoid it – but we have to remember that having a personality with self awareness is a very new thing and has only existed for a short time. Before that we were like animals that lived only in the Life Will – what we usually call instincts. So, the development of self awareness was an immense step, and left us very vulnerable, and still does.
Many people as their awareness reaches beyond what they feel are their normal self feel scared. Such resistances cause us to create awful dreams and fears as a means of avoiding our own inner world and its wonders. We feel that we will be swallowed up and we will die. It is important to say that when we meet the experience of powerlessness through becoming aware of the hugeness of your Life, which we are usually unaware if, it feels like something alien or attacking and it is a shock.
Science Sees It Similarly
Kevin Nelson, a neurophysiologist at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, says NDEs may be little more than dream-like states brought on by stress and a predisposition to a common kind of sleep experience.
Sometimes fainting can be enough to trigger NDE-like sensations. Nelson says that that’s because despite the name, NDE has little to do with actually being close to death. He argues that the experience stems from an acute bout of “REM intrusion” – a glitch in the brain’s circuitry that, in times of extreme stress, may flip it into a mixed state of awareness where it is both in REM sleep and partially awake at the same time. “The concept that our brain is either 100 per cent awake or 100 per cent in REM sleep is absolutely erroneous,” says Mark Mahowald, a neurologist at the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorders Center in Minneapolis. “We can have pieces of one state intruding into another, and that’s when things get interesting.”
To put that into simple language, REM sleep means we are experiencing dreams. So, they are saying that our sleep process can occur while we are fully awake, and people usually call that hallucinations. But it is simply our huge mind appearing, and just like dreaming, the voices heard, people seen, smells smelt, while dreaming, although appearing to be outside of us as in waking dreaming (hallucinations), and are no more exterior than the things and images of our dreams. With this information one can understand that much classed as psychic phenomena and religious experience is an encounter with the dream process. That does not, of course, deny its importance.
As explained above, the dream process can also produce movements and sounds while asleep or awake. But it is not usually realised that the whole phenomena of dreaming can occur while awake and you are in a receptive state of mind. Any visions, voices heard or hallucinations are all the product of the dream process breaking through the barrier that usually only allows such things while asleep. If you have had such an experience you will see, if you think about it, that as with dreams, images, people, voices appear as if outside you. That is exactly the work of dreams, which project a whole dream, its drama and characters, onto the screen of our sleeping mind. See Waking Lucid Dream - Hallucinations
Going beyond is a normal experience, and is not limited to the psychic, ‘spiritual’, mystic or unusual type of person. It happens to children, to adult, to those living a normal life, or even those dying – for it is the Core Self expressing a life function by dreaming while awake.
It happens to everybody when they stop repressing their flow of thoughts and feelings, or controlling them. Carl Jung said clearly, “Stop editing what you think.” A complete opposite to controlling meditations.