Posts Tagged ‘early birth’
Birth – It’s Happening – 7
Yoga and Childbirth – Chapter 7
Am I Pregnant?
With the modern methods of determining pregnancy, such as the urine test, nobody need be in doubt for long, even during the first few days. But if you do not wish to go to this bother, the pregnancy usually announces itself fairly quickly in clinical ways.
The absence of menstruation is often the first sign one has, although by itself this is by no means proof, as many women miss periods for many other reasons. Also, despite being pregnant, a small or short period may occur.
Some women experience morning sickness almost from the first day of conception, which again is a sign, but not a proof. Of course, from the doctor’s point of view, the hearing of the baby’s heartbeat may alone constitute proof.
Another of the early signs in a healthy woman is breast change. Some women experience this at every menstruation, but it passes. During pregnancy these breast changes remain. The breast becomes fuller in appearance, and becomes tender, especially the nipples. The colour of the skin around the nipple changes, becomes darker, and this area enlarges into a slightly bubbly appearance. After a few months a liquid may be taken from the nipples, called colostrum.
Other changes may be experienced as need for more sleep; inability to eat large meals; strange desires for particular foods; frequency of urination; sudden increase in weight.
Doctor’s Help in Pregnancy
It is best to place yourself in the care of your doctor fairly soon. He or she will examine you, possibly by asking questions as to when your last period was, and so on. Also the examination may include feeling your abdomen with his or her hand. This is to see if any enlargement of the uterus has taken place. The doctor may also examine the vagina for signs of pregnancy, such as a greater supply of blood to the area. No doubt you will be asked for a urine specimen.
Length of Pregnancy
Add seven days to the first day of your last normal menstruation. Then deduct three months, and this will give you the approximate date of a full term pregnancy. Or else add 280 days to the date of conception. Again, this is an approximate date. To save your working it out, 280 days is forty weeks. The average time of conception is about fourteen days after the last normal period. There is little chance of your giving birth on the exact day, as in a survey only four out of a hundred women gave birth on the estimated day.
Quickening
The baby first moves approximately half way through the pregnancy. That is about the twentieth week or just after. This can therefore act as a rough check on your estimated time of conception.
‘In Utero’
In recent years a great deal more has been revealed about what the baby does in the womb. Although it is not generally accepted, as given later, there is a fair amount of evidence to show that the baby is very much aware in the womb. The baby does not breathe, gaining its oxygen from the mother’s blood but it does move and rest. If you are observant you will notice that it goes through cycles of activity. Sometimes, much to the amused consternation of ‘mum’, baby decides to be active just as ‘mum’ is trying to go to sleep! These movements are very much like those we can see in a new-born baby – a thrusting of arms and legs.
Babies are also now known to often suck their thumbs or fingers while still unborn. Also, occasionally, to cry, but only when air has in some way entered the uterus.
The Big Day
If you are going into hospital or a nursing home, have your suitcase packed a couple of weeks in advance. If you plan to follow the advice in this book carefully, also have a little purse in which you can place some vitamin C, E and calcium tablets. Take these with you and keep them by you. You will be allowed to have a book and your purse by you until the baby actually arrives.
First Signs of Birth
For many women the first sign that birth is about to begin is the breaking of the membranes. Sometimes this happens while asleep in bed, and the resulting puddle of water will undoubtedly wake you. You will have had contractions of the uterus for some weeks. Similar contractions will again appear just prior to, or soon after the water ‘breaks’, although a few women do not experience the breaking of the membrane.
As soon as the contractions appear however, right from the start relax the rest of the body and breathe in stage one as described. Erna Wright points out that if you do not begin the relaxation and breathing right from the beginning the contractions can easily become painful. This is because the contractions are gradually ‘opening up’ the uterus, and unless the tensions in this area are relaxed, blocking can cause problems from the start.
You may hear the doctor or nurse talking about various stages of labour; to help you understand what they are referring to they are as follows: First Stage – The thinning of the ‘neck of the uterus’ or cervix is a pre-labour stage. The first stage of labour is when the baby’s head begins to open up the cervix. This ‘opening up’ of the cervix is called ‘dilating’. The nurse can gradually see more and more of the baby’s head as the cervix dilates. She, or the doctor, measures this dilation with finger widths. So she may say ‘She’s two fingers dilated.’ That means that the cervix, which opens rather in the shape of a cat’s eye, is two fingers wide. Eventually there is no cervix, only baby’s head showing. Then begins the second stage of labour, which is when the uterus pushes the baby along the birth channel, helped now, but not before, by your abdominal muscles. The third stage is after the actual exit of the baby’s head and body, and is the removal of the placenta.
What to Do Next when the Birth Starts
After this quick preview, let us return to the first contractions. As each one occurs, stand still, relax, while breathing in the first stage. From now on your breathing and relaxation is the real thing, not practice. If you feel you must breathe faster to get more air, then do so, as you are not supplying enough. If you breathe out fully each time, this will ensure fuller exchange of air. A feeling of dizziness means you are over-oxygenating. Slow up and do not breathe quite so deeply. On the other hand trembling is due to a build-up of carbon dioxide in the blood which is caused by too shallow quick breathing. Take deeper breaths.
If the contractions start during the night, get up if you must, and have a drink of warm milk and honey. But it is better to simply go back to sleep. During this pre-labour phase, contractions may come far apart, or close together, but they are only short in length – ten to twenty seconds. Erna Wright says that the first stage of labour is characterised not so much by frequent contractions as by their length of about forty-five to fifty-five seconds. You must enquire beforehand at which stage your hospital or district nurse wishes to be informed.
Meanwhile, do not tire yourself out during this phase, because you will need all your energy for later on. If it is daytime and you are not requested to enter hospital, then get on with any simple tasks at hand, stopping at each contraction, breathing in level one, and relaxing. From the beginning of the contractions take a 100 mlg of vitamin C every half hour. Carry this on right to the last stage of labour. Also take 1000 i.u. of vitamin E, 4 calcium or 6 kelp tablets and one halibut liver oil capsule at the start of the contractions. Have these all sorted out beforehand so that it is easy. As already said, the C should be continued throughout, one every half hour. The calcium should be taken two every hour. Or if you can’t manage that, take 1000 mlg of C at the start and forget about it. The same applies to the calcium.
As the contractions lengthen you will find the level one breathing inadequate. Therefore, shift up into levels two and three as necessary. By the time you reach the 55-second contractions, you should be using the three levels at each contraction. As it begins, say mentally ‘contraction beginning’, and use level one breathing for 3 breaths, 3 in level 2 the height of the contraction in level 3, and then come down to 3 breaths in two, 3 in one, and say mentally ‘contraction finished’.
When the contractions last from one to one-and-a-half minutes, as it begins say mentally, ‘contraction beginning’, then breathe once in level one, 5 times in level two, the peak of the contraction in level three and then down into level two for 5 breaths and 3 in level one. Then say mentally ‘contraction finished’. In between contractions, fully relax, repeating mentally ‘surrender to Life.’
The breathing method can be changed to a very fast pant where more air is needed. You can practise this during the last two months of pregnancy with the aid of your husband. With a watch he can time your contractions of arms and legs, and you can practise the breathing routine to get the knack of timing. This will make it all far easier on the day.
I must stress however, that although the above method of breathing at a particular level in each phase of contraction sounds complicated, it very soon becomes a habit if practised often. Quite frankly, you do not have to breathe exactly the number of breaths at each level, as long as you do change as the contraction develops.
What Can I expect in the Birth Process?
When your ‘waters’ do break take a note of the time so that you can inform the nurse or hospital. Doctors who plan to give their patients a general anaesthetic advise women not to eat before being admitted to hospital. As you are having a natural birth this rule does not apply. The rule is made so that the patient does not vomit stomach contents under anaesthesia and then have the food enter the lungs. Therefore have a small meal to give you sufficient fuel to burn during the activity ahead. As you will not be able to eat for some time, you will need food that will be easy to digest yet will supply a steady flow of fuel. The breakfast already mentioned, which keeps the blood sugar level high for many hours, is excellent for this purpose. That is, a meal consisting mostly of protein, but with carbohydrates, sugars and some fat also. A poached egg on toast, with plenty of butter, followed by a milk drink with a couple of spoonfuls of powdered milk added, plus honey,- will be excellent. Or any meal of a similar composition.
Meanwhile, at every contraction except those occurring while you sleep, use the relaxation and breathing technique. Try to get as much sleep as possible before the first stage of labour begins as after this you will have to remain awake and ‘working’ almost continuously until the end of the labour. To quote Erna Wright, ‘Handling contractions during this period is almost like a holy ritual. You handle each contraction with as much single minded concentration and care as you can; in the correct manner, with the correct dissociation, with the correct breathing. Never, never answer questions during a contraction.’ (The New Childbirth). Erna Wright also suggests buying a little, real sponge to dip in a saucer of water by the bedside to wipe the face between contractions and to suck for water and for comfort. Another helpful tip she gives is to empty the bladder every hour during labour. This is because during labour the usual sensation of a full bladder may not be noticeable. Thus one may reach a point where pain occurs with every contraction due to a full bladder.
Going Great Guns
As stage one of labour changes into stage two after the thinning of the cervix, quite a number of women experience what is called the transition stage. This is experienced as a great tiredness, or feeling of being desperately fed up with the whole process. You may become extremely irritable and bad tempered, but if you can hold on to your discipline for a while, you will pass through this phase. At this time the urge comes to aid the uterus by pushing, using your abdominal muscles, but resist this temptation completely unless the nurse says it is time to push. To help you through this phase if it becomes pronounced enough to disturb you, hold rigidly to your breathing and relaxation discipline, even though these may seem to go haywire for a while keep on with Them. Also, every time you relax between contractions say mentally, ‘surrender to Life’, and completely relax all muscles not in use. As you say this mentally, feel as if you were handing your whole being over, as practised during relaxation to the light.
Bring On the Reinforcements
You and your uterus are now working full out, but due to your breathing and relaxation you are handling your contractions and they have not become painful. During contractions some women have a cramp-like sensation in the uterus. With your vitamin E and calcium already under your belt, your muscles should perform like trained circus athletes, but just in case, you can rid yourself of this problem. This is done by you, or your husband if he is there, gently and delicately massaging the area in a circular direction. There should be hardly any pressure attached to this, as it is the lightness of touch that soothes the underlying muscles.
Another helpful aid as you enter the second stage of labour is to ‘take aim’. In other words, when you actually begin to help the uterus by pushing, it is a great aid to find a spot at the foot of the bed, down beyond the feet, and imagine you are pushing the baby towards it.
Meanwhile, you are still some way from stage three, so don’t forget your vitamin C every half-hour, and calcium every hour. If you buy something like Super Rose Hip, or children’s flavoured vitamin C tablets, you can suck them like sweets instead of attempting to swallow them.
Erna Wright is so full of practical suggestions it is difficult to avoid quoting her. If it is necessary for the doctor or nurse to examine you internally, or snip the membranes with scissors if they have not been broken, and during the removal of the placenta, Erna suggests that you practise the same rules as for contractions, i.e., go into level two breathing and relax the genitals.
The Birth
Once the cervix has thinned and the baby’s head emerges from the vagina, having been pushed along the birth channel, it is usually only a matter of moments before the rest of the baby follows, and you have that wonderful first glimpse of your child.
But before all this occurs, you will be working away at the longest of the contractions, which also require you to ‘push’ as well. This ‘pushing’ is the same sort of abdominal tension as that made during going to the toilet. You will have already practised this as advised elsewhere in the book. Make sure, as always, that the genital area is relaxed. As it is difficult to push’ and breathe at the same time, a slightly different routine is required. In stage two of delivery you will find that as the contraction starts your abdominal muscles will also contract, this contraction is heightened by your own conscious effort. Therefore, as you feel the contractions beginning, say mentally, ‘contraction starting’, and take three breaths in level two. Then as you breathe in for the fourth time hold your breath in while you push. Hold this for six to ten seconds, depending on your ability, and then blow the air out and repeat. While in the ‘pushing’ stage, it is best to have plenty of pillows behind you, knees drawn up, back slightly rounded, in imitation of the squat position. As you hold your breath in, push the chin down hard on the chest to block any escape of air, and prevent you arching your head back. As you breathe out, say mentally ‘surrender to Life’. Then breathe in again and hold it as above. Repeat this cycle of breathing in, holding it, pushing, blowing out and surrendering, two or three times, depending on length of contractions. As the contraction begins to wane, no longer hold the breath, but breathe in level three until you get your breath back; drop into level two for a few breaths, and then to level one. Don’t forget to relax back gently from the squat position after the contraction so that the baby’s head does not slip back from its position in the birth channel.
As the head of the baby emerges and the rest of the body is following, no more ‘pushing’ is necessary. Now is the time to drop back into the position of sexual surrender, with your own head dropped back in relaxation, hips and genitals open to ‘giving’, and mouth open panting as in orgasm.
After the actual birth, the umbilical cord is clipped or tied, and then severed. The placenta is usually delivered by one more contraction. Erna Wright suggests, when this is all over, sucking a few glucose sweets or taking some honey to replace the blood sugar burnt up during the labour. If you have already had a previous child you will later experience small contractions as the uterus returns to its proper size. Handle these in the same way as you did the birth contractions and they will soon pass away. The same applies to the contractions occurring during breast feeding.
Now you should be home and dry. Cuddle baby, forget everything, and sleep.
Go to Chapter List –Go to Chapter 7
The Mysterious Power of Children-To-Be
By Elisabeth Hallett – contact: e-mail at soultrek@montana.com or by letter: Elisabeth Hallett, Box 705, Hamilton MT 59840; http://www.light-hearts.com
It was midwinter and pitch-dark when the Volkswagen skidded off the road into an icy river. Unable to fight her way to shore, C. was exhausted, ready to give up and surrender to the freezing water when suddenly a voice protested…
C. is a down-to earth, level-headed woman, and an old friend. The adventure she related to me happened three years before the birth of her first child, when she and her husband were driving home to Montana after a Christmas trip. In her own words:
“We were anxious to get to our cabin in the Swan Valley so we drove night and day. We stopped in Great Falls for gas and were warned not to cross Rogers Pass because there was wind and extreme cold. Being young, we went along anyway. After crossing the pass we stopped for a cheeseburger and fries — it was about 9:00 P.M.
“As we started up the Swan Highway we encountered a snow packed highway. As we came around the corner, a large amount of snow blew off the bank above us causing a glare of snow and lights. I thought a car was coming toward us so I swerved, over-corrected, went into a spin and flipped over, and landed on our wheels in the Stillwater River.
“J. tried to paddle the car with the snow shovel but we were in a small whirlpool and just went around in circles. He climbed out the window into the river and got the spare tire out of the trunk for me to float on. He swam for shore and I tried to push off from the car on the tire. Unfortunately the tire was attached, so that I couldn’t use it for flotation as it was going down with the car. By this time I was ready to give up, death seemed a treat (I thought I would see my mother again). J. hollered at me from shore and then seemed to disappear under the ice. I resigned myself to an easy death.
“Then I heard, ‘But I haven’t even been born yet!’ This didn’t seem relevant at that time, but a hand or force or whatever seemed to grab me by the collar of my jacket and much as a cat carries a kitten, propelled me to shore. Later, when we had broken into a cabin and were running out of energy, I woke up and seemed to hear the same admonition — “I’m not born yet.” We were rescued in the morning.
“Three years later my son was born. The first night I was home with him he woke in the night to be fed. As I nursed him I had a vision back into the past of my mother, grandmother and so on nursing their children, and I felt connected to this pattern or plan. Then I knew it was my son who had spoken the night of the accident.”
This wonderful story illustrates one of the intriguing patterns in communications before conception: they often seem to have a definite purpose. In this experience, as in many others, the apparent purpose is to overcome an obstacle to conception. The untimely death of your intended mother would surely be a serious problem! But there are other roadblocks on the way to birth, and other stories that suggest the same amazing possibility–that children-to-be are somehow able to intervene and deal with obstacles to their own arrival.
In the story of Miriam and Steven, for example (see part I, this column), Miriam was not only emotionally opposed to motherhood, but had even undergone surgery to prevent it. It took a whole series of visionary and dream contacts with a very appealing little boy to overcome her resistance.
When people have lost a child, their grief and fear can become barriers to risking pregnancy again. Patricia and her husband were devastated when their first pregnancy ended with a stillborn baby girl. They were inclined to shut the door on parenthood forever — and then, as Patricia says, “I met another child in my dreams. His name was Luka, and he said he would wait for us to welcome him into our lives.”
But Patricia was not ready. She still had months of anger and sorrow to endure, and most of all, the fear of another loss. Yet the dream-child was persistent. He appeared again the following year, with the same message that he was waiting to be welcomed. “Why was this happening?” says Patricia. “How could I get this out of my mind?” She continues: “That autumn, I started to realize how depressed I really was. I was functioning in the outside world, but it was apparent in therapy that this sadness had a grip on me. I even thought about whether life was worth continuing. I had had so many losses in my life, and this was about all I could endure.
“Then, the vision to end all visions happened. I’ll never forget it. I was taking a shower, alone, on a sunny Saturday afternoon. I heard this voice (There was no visual). I can’t say the voice was loud, or startled me, or anything like that. But it spoke in no uncertain terms to me, and then vanished. He said that I was perfectly ripe to accept him into our lives, and that this was our last chance because he had to move on.
“I opened up like a lotus to the notion of having this child come into our lives. I felt a cloud lift. But I stood in the shower in slight disbelief. I didn’t know what to do, but I felt lightness, love, hope, and happiness. I told my husband (as I had always done when I got these visions), and asked him if he would be interested in reconsidering our baby decision. When Peter said he wanted this baby, too, I can’t tell you how elated I felt. Maybe I’ve never felt such joy. We made love once, and the rest, they say, is history. Luka was conceived that day.”
Where does the parent-and-child bond begin? The editorial of the APPPAH Newsletter of Spring 1997 made an important point. “Considering what we know about the realities of life before birth,” it proposes, “shouldn’t we be setting the clock of parenting back from ‘early’ (birth to three) to ‘very early’ (conception to birth)?” Now, these stories of a presence even before conception have me wondering: Is it time to look even further back for the beginning of our connections with our children?
INVITATION: Please join in exploring the mysteries of communication before conception. If you have had such an experience, please consider sharing it here! You can contact me by e-mail at soultrek@montana.com or by letter: Elisabeth Hallett, Box 705, Hamilton MT 59840.
A Book for Further Exploration
Conscious Conception, by Jeannine Parvati Baker and Frederick Baker, 1988 (Freestone Publishing Co & North Atlantic Books) was one of the first books to talk about parenthood as a relationship that begins in a spiritual dimension. Subtitled “Elemental Journey through the Labyrinth of Sexuality,” this classic book really is like a labyrinth to explore! It’s an unusual blend of earthiness and spirituality, with a wealth of interesting material from several contributors.
Through all the stories and articles runs the daring assumption that an unborn child is a conscious presence before conception. There are many examples of pre-conception communication, as felt by men as well as by women. For example, a father describes a reverie he experienced, some months before the conception of his child. While half-asleep, he found himself in a rose garden. “Just about the time I started thinking about leaving, I felt something move. It was more like a shift in energy than anything else. I looked over towards the fountain. Seated on a marble bench was a robed figure. It was smiling at me.
“I’m not one to go around seeing things, visions or otherwise. However, I was now very curious. So I asked the figure who it was. I started to repeat my question when I suddenly knew the answer. This being was waiting to come through us. The ‘us’ was my lover and I. This being would be our baby, our child. It was now making contact with us. It had decided to start with me.”
A Psychotherapeutic Experience of Premature Birth
Without hesitation I begin to feel my connection with another human being. I experience that being connected with another human being is a fundamental part of life and procreation. If something threatens that connection, then it is life threatening – the reason being, I am in the womb! To lose my connection threatens my life. But my life is threatened. I am expelled from the womb before my body and soul are mature enough to be ready to be separated, ready enough to undertake life disconnected from the placenta. I feel incredibly vulnerable. Each sound, whether a bird singing or a car going by, is a possible threat to my existence. I had been physically and psychically attached to my mother. Now the bond is broken.
I realise as I experience this that the broken bond, the feeling of life threatening isolation, enormously increased my sensitivity to threats. It set me up for what happened at three when I was placed in a convalescent home and was deeply traumatised. In itself the short absence of my mother was not as potentially traumatising as it turned out to be. But because of the birth experience, I was already traumatised to abandonment. To be hit by it again increased the volume of it enormously.
I wasnt properly formed, so it was very traumatic to be separated as a baby. I am trying to heal this at the moment. I feel the struggle of resisting what has happened to me. I cry out that I dont want to be born. I am not ready. I feel deeply alone. There is in me a sense that tells me I shouldnt be alone. It is like something that pushes me to seek not to be alone. I feel lost. Im not ready for this world. Im feeling awful.
In fact I do feel awful, like I am ill and can barely move, or move only with effort and concentration. I go on to say that I have felt awful most of my fucking life. I can see from the feelings I am meeting how they have contributed to my lifelong feelings of being lost and cut off – alone. I have always called it independence, and perhaps seen the positive side of it more than the negative. But it has been a source of restlessness and a spur to seeking a bonding with someone. Of course I want to find the security of the womb. I want to know someone is deeply committed and bonded to me.
I am so alone. Even when someone loves me I cant feel it. I want to change. I dont want to keep hurting Hy by living like she isnt there at an emotional level. But that is the feeling world I have lived in – who is there for me? I was part of something and I lost it. I was part of something that was good, and I lost it. I was a part of a woman and I lost her. I was rejected. I was rejected. Now I face this struggle just to exist, just to breath, just to be. This feeling of life being a terrible struggle just to keep going has pervaded me all my life. I’ve got to struggle to exist just to keep alive. Got to struggle just to keep alive! GOT TO STRUGGLE TO EXIST – JUST TO KEEP ALIVE! GOT TO STRUGGLE BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING THERE. I WANT SOMETHING TO HOLD ONTO. I’VE GOT TO STRUGGLE JUST TO KEEP ALIVE.
I cry like a baby. The question burns in me – Why is life like this? I cry again. Then I realise that at first when I was born I was too small and undeveloped even to be able to cry properly, so I couldnt let out my misery. It is such a relief to cry now and be understood, to have known what I felt at that terrible time.
I am aware of my connection with my stream of life having been broken – the umbilical cord. What I realise as the adult watching this, is that because of its proximity to the genitals, there is an unconscious connection made between the genitals and the connection I seek to sustain my life. So even as a baby I am reaching for that connection with my genitals. I want to be fed. I attempt to reconnect through my genitals, but the pain of the separation is so acute even when I do try in adulthood, the pain of the separation turns me back. This is the story of the Garden Of Eden. I was in the garden and was cast out. Now when I attempt to return, an angel with a burning sword turns me back. Not only was it painful every time I attempted reconnection, but I had the unconscious expectation to be fed, to be nourished. Instead of that every time I had sex I felt cheated, deceived and betrayed. I was not fed, but deeply sucked dry of what small nourishment I had managed to build up. I wasnt fed, I was fed upon by a predator. Each sexual act was a betrayal, a predation, and a torturous pain. Yet I had to find my way to the garden again, because there lay the secret of my genesis and myself. So I would return, to be wounded once more. It is even painful to look back on those years of misery now. Why is life so painful?
Seen from this level of experience, that of the uterine baby, God is a projection. You were in connection with a great creator, the mother. You were at one with them, but now you have been cast out of the Garden of Eden, so you have lost your contact with God, the creator in whose bosom you had existed. Perhaps that is why I searched so long for God.