Posts Tagged ‘pre-birth communication’
Gladys Taylor McGarey – Pioneer of Pre-Birth Communication
Elisabeth Hallett
See Elisabeth’s site and books at Light Hearts
As we become familiar with stories of pre-birth communication, the way we look at babies begins to change. That change must be reflected in how we handle pregnancy and birth, and in how we treat our children. To the well-known family physician Gladys McGarey, babies are “old souls in new bodies,” aware and involved in the process of their own birth from before conception. And she has the experience to back up her beliefs.
Gladys Taylor McGarey is a doctor twice over, trained in both allopathic medicine and homeopathy. In a career spanning five decades, she has courageously faced opposition and explored therapies beyond the medical mainstream. She is a founder of the American Holistic Medical Association and past president of that organization. Still practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona, she also serves on the staff of NIH’s Office of Alternative Medicine. But Dr. McGarey is a hero to me for a more particular reason. Nearly twenty years ago, she pioneered the concept of “soul communication” with unborn children.
In her 1980 book Born To Live, Dr. McGarey makes the bold statement, “It is reasonable… to believe that we are in reality dealing with a ready-formed individual personality when we usher a baby into this world.” This respectful attitude toward babies underlies Dr. McGarey’s approach to the pregnant women in her care. “I often ask the mother to try to make contact with the baby,” she explains. “I ask her to record her dreams and see if she can contact the baby, also to write letters to the baby telling him how she feels about things, and talk to him, trying to establish an early, helpful soul communication.”
It’s no longer so unusual to advocate talking to a child in the womb, but it’s rarely suggested that we might also try listening and being receptive to impressions and communication coming from the baby. Dr. McGarey has been a pioneer in recognizing that pre-birth communication is a two-way flow. In Born To Live, she shares remarkable stories of contact between parent and child-to-be. As the attending physician, she has an insider’s view of these events and is able to put them in context of the mother’s life experiences and the family situation.
According to Dr. McGarey, contact happens in various ways. For example, she writes: “I have seen (pregnant) women who discover emotions foreign to their nature and experience, emotions they could not understand. As we watched their dreams, we began to understand that they were apparently picking up psychically the emotions and feelings of the incoming entity. The baby, of course, has feelings and emotions, residuals perhaps from an earlier incarnation.”
One story illustrates Dr. McGarey’s contention that family planning may be a mutual process, with the child-to-be playing an important part in the arrangements. This family already had four children and had decided that four was enough. However, several years after the fourth arrived, the mother was taking a shower and she saw a blue light appear in the top corner of the shower. Instinctively, she knew what the blue light meant. Another entity was wanting to make its appearance. “Go away,” she said, “You know I don’t need any more kids!”
A month later, the blue light came back. Again the same dialogue. And again it happened. And again. Finally, the reluctant mother gave in to the persistence of whatever the blue light meant, and she became pregnant. Child number five arrived, a boy, and her family was larger. And more complicated, of course, but more enjoyable.
Two years passed by. The mother of five had not ceased to take showers. And the blue light came on once again. This time, she didn’t have the energy to fight it any longer. It was almost as if she was getting a message from these two souls, as the blue light came on, that said, “Look, this is the place where I’m supposed to be. You are the people I am needing to live with, and this is the right time. So please get ready for me, cause I’m coming.”
Dr. McGarey remarks, “It seems likely that babies do really choose their parents; only some, like the “blue light” babies, are more persistent than others.”
The past twenty years have seen enormous controversy surrounding abortion. Dr. McGarey considers abortion from the viewpoint of the child soul, which she maintains is aware and telepathic and has some power of choice. In her new book, The Physician Within You, she writes: “In all the struggles between the pro-choice and pro-life factions, no one seemed interested in what the child thought.” Dr. McGarey believes that in some cases communication offers an alternative to abortion.
In one instance, a young woman was facing an untimely pregnancy but did not wish to have a medical abortion. She made a practice of talking to the child, suggesting it would be better for him to move on, yet leaving the choice to him. One night, she recalls, “I was able to move my consciousness down to my uterus. It felt like a cavernous, secure shelter. In a rather suspended yet elevated space, this soul and I had some serious communication. It felt completely natural. I explained that it wasn’t the right time for me to become a mother. With love I let him know that it had nothing to do with him. I urged him to find another mother.” The following day, she spontaneously miscarried.
The story of Susan, from The Physician Within You, takes pre-birth communication full circle and illustrates the apparent flexibility of “family planning.” Susan found herself pregnant at seventeen, just as she was about to enter college. She decided to talk to the child, whom she perceived as a girl. Speaking softly, she explained why it was the wrong time for her to have a baby, promising, “You will only be away a little while. We will be together again.” Soon afterward, she miscarried.
Two years later, Susan’s best friend Fran, who was older and married, had her first baby. The night of the birth, Susan woke to hear a child’s voice announcing, “Mama, I’m coming back.”
“As I heard the child’s voice I jumped out of bed,” says Susan. “I could almost feel her presence… A thrill of joy swept over me. In that moment I knew it was my little girl – a promise fulfilled. I could hardly wait to see her. Nobody thought anything of my rushing over to the hospital. I was family.”
“From the beginning we had this special bond,” Susan says, “like we both knew of our previous connection. I thought of her as my child. She would throw up her arms to greet me with the happiest smile. When she was able to toddle she would rush into my arms. I could see that Fran and her husband were amused.”
Wishful thinking? An important point is that Susan had kept secret both her own earlier pregnancy and her impressions of Fran’s daughter. When the little girl was three, her mother was again pregnant and Susan was visiting. Sitting on Susan’s lap, the child suddenly asked, “Do you remember when I was in your tummy?”
“No, honey,” Susan said, “you were in your mother’s tummy.”
The child shook her head. “Not that first time.” Uncertain of how to respond, Susan asked, “What did you do in my tummy?”
Sadly the little girl replied, “I cried.”
“Why did you cry?”
“Because they said I couldn’t stay. They said it wasn’t the time. They pulled me back.”
“Who were they?” Susan finally asked.
“The same ones that brought me to you.”
Some doctors may wonder why they don’t hear about pre-birth communication from the pregnant women in their care. While gathering stories for my own book, it was remarkable to me how often women confided that they had been afraid to share their experience with anyone. As Dr. McGarey observes, “These things really happen. Perhaps I hear about them because I am willing to listen to these women who have feelings and experiences they don’t want to have disregarded or made fun of.”
Dr. McGarey’s holistic approach to medical care is detailed in her new book, with Jess Stearn The Physician Within You: Medicine For the Millennium (1997). Two chapters are devoted to pregnancy, birth, and babies. But it’s well worth tracking down a copy of Born To Live for the full story of Dr. McGarey’s philosophy of childbirth and many other remarkable stories of “old souls in new bodies.”
References:
Gladys Taylor McGarey (1980), Born To Live: A Holistic Approach to Childbirth (Available from Gladys McGarey Medical Foundation, 7350 E. Stetson Dr. #120, Scottsdale, AZ 85251.)
Gladys Taylor McGarey with Jess Stearn, (1997), The Physician Within You: Medicine for the Millennium (Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc.)
Editor’s Note: I am currently planning a new book on pre-birth communication, and invite you to share your experiences and insights. Please e-mail me at soultrek@montana.com or write to Elisabeth Hallett, P.O. Box 705, Hamilton MT 59840
Midwife, Intuitive, and Healer: A Conversation with Teresa Robertson
Column Editor’s Note: Teresa Robertson, RN, CNM, MSN, conducts private pre-conception sessions to help her clients connect with their unborn children, to promote fertility, heal pregnancy losses such as miscarriage and abortion, and to help adoptive parents connect with their children-to-be. Two of her articles are available in this column: “Fertility and the Mind-Body Connection” and “Communicating with your Unborn Child.” In this conversation, Teresa offers further insights into her work and personal experiences, in response to questions from Elisabeth Hallett, author of Soul Trek: Meeting Our Children on the Way to Birth. Teresa’s contact information is: In Health Teresa Robertson RN,CNM, MS Intuitive Counselor 3011 N. Broadway, Suite 23 Boulder, CO, 80304, USA www.BirthIntuitive.com www.LivingIntuitiveResources.com Tel: 303-258-3904. Email: tann@indra.com
Q. Teresa, your articles bring up many new ideas. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to learn more about your work. I often hear from people who are looking for ways to encourage a child to come into their lives. One of the practices you have mentioned is the “baby altar.” Please tell us more about this intriguing idea.
A: The baby altar is a way to create physical space within your home for an unborn child. It can also serve as a spiritual focus. Creating a baby altar is one of the things I urge anyone to do in preparation for conception or during pregnancy. Of course, my use of the word altar reflects my Catholic upbringing — substitute any word (puja, shrine etc.) which has significance for you.
The baby altar delineates a specific energetic space for the spirit of your baby. For several reasons, the bedroom is often chosen as its location. People with specific meditation rooms might wish to create a separate baby altar there. Your bedroom is usually a quieter and more private space, therefore it is an area that will gain the least attention and influence from other people. Secondly, for many couples the bedroom is their sanctuary and so contains that kind of energy already. Thirdly, your bedroom is where you are awake and sleepy — times you may feel more connected to spiritual realms and/or the world of dreams. And finally, your bedroom is often the location where you will be making love to conceive this baby.
The size of the altar and number of items on it are not important, but the intention of the space is. Again, maybe this is a reflection of my Catholic background, but I see a candle as an essential component of an altar. For many people the flame of a candle represents the essence of a soul quality, the spirit of life force, the spark of creativity. There are so many candle choices available now with many different colors, scents, shapes and sizes. I like to suggest placing a baby picture of each parent on the altar. Other objects which can be used include (but are not limited to) special cards, fertility symbols or amulets, baby booties, shells, stones, crystals, flowers or a plant.
Q: I’m intrigued that you mention putting baby pictures of the parents-to-be on the altar. Is there a special significance to this, a reason that you suggest baby pictures?
A: I mention placing pictures of the parents on the altar for several reasons. I first started talking about baby altars with pregnant couples. When a baby is born, these pictures come out anyway. The baby will be born from each parent’s essence, so both their pictures would be a draw. Secondly, the baby or soul essence of an individual is so apparent in a baby picture. This assists with drawing a baby essence to that other baby essence. And finally, for the parent-to-be it is important to get in touch with oneself as a baby. Often a baby picture captures a person’s original spark and love of life, their soul purpose or mission. Adults can glean an enormous amount of information from their baby pictures, and these pictures can also open the doorway to healing.
Q: I love the idea of putting baby pictures on the altar. I was particularly struck by it because I have a baby picture of myself on my bedroom wall where I often see it. It shows me with a big happy, trusting grin, and when I look at it I feel like I’m seeing my original nature as I came into the world, confident of finding it a good place to be!
While your work is primarily with women, we know that perhaps 35% of fertility problems derive from the prospective father. Can the meditation and relaxation exercises, such as you teach to women, also help men with fertility problems?
A: My experience with men and fertility has always been initiated by the women. I have not seen a man who came to me presenting with concerns about his fertility. However, while working with women alone or in a couple situation about fertility (often these are couples doing intrauterine inseminations or IVF), I have included visualization for the man. That is not to say that I could not work with a man, it is just that I initially don’t get approached for that kind of issue. I suspect that for a man there is a lot of shame accompanying a fertility problem since in our culture fertility is seen as being linked with virility.
For such a man I would first assess his nutritional status and use of supplements. I would teach him how to reset his sperm count, quality, and motility through the use of visualization. I would also explore with him any ambivalence and fear he may have about the possibility of pregnancy. In my experience, especially in working with women pursuing IVF, the partner often has ambivalence about becoming a parent, which frequently includes fear about their relationship changing and failing.
Q: Teresa, as I understand it, your work focuses on helping parents-to-be to make a real connection with their children before birth or even before conception. Do you find that most people are able to do so, with your guidance?
A: Yes. Many also have powerful experiences in meditative states or while dreaming, and really enjoy receiving validation of their experience.
Q: Is your participation an important ingredient to facilitate the connection?
A: Yes and no. I strongly believe and promote this field of my work to be self empowering — so that someone doesn’t need to seek someone outside of themselves to talk to their unborn baby. However, it really depends on who is trying to connect, why, and what state of being they are in. Also, if someone has a block or a blind spot it is often useful to have an outside person to help clear any blockages and facilitate the communication. We are raised and immersed within a culture which tells us that only “crazy” or special “psychic” people are able to hear or see spirits. Clients often use the time I spend with them to learn how they receive this information — do they know it, sense it, smell it, hear it or see it?
It is essential to approach this experience and techniques with an open mind and heart and with the quality of neutrality. It is also important to communicate in a manner which is cooperative and in which negotiations are made on both sides so that each party (parent and unborn child) is fully seen and heard. Trying to connect in order to orchestrate or engineer a certain fertility or birthing experience will evoke more of controlling energy and probably will not prove to be satisfying.
Q: I have many questions about communicating with one’s unborn child. Is there any way to tell the difference between genuinely connecting and just having a wishful daydream?
A: That’s a great question. In my experience there is nothing more authentic than when a parent first connects with their unborn child. When they feel that vibration of heat or sound, or hear “I love you” or “Everything is okay, you are doing a good job” — there is nothing to shake that knowledge.
What usually helps is to be in a relaxed, open, and non-judgmental state. The first experiences of connecting will often be visceral in nature — the parents-to-be will know, feel, or sense something which will be difficult to put into words. They will know that it is true in their bodies, not in their heads. After validation of that experience they will start to see colors or hear words. My job is to support and to validate them to trust their intuition and the way they get that information.
Q: I have a sense of what you mean when you say the parents will know the communication is true in their bodies, not in their heads. But I’m not sure I fully understand. Could you explain more about this?
A: It is a knowing within their heart, body, soul that this is true. They may sense a vibration of hot or cold, may hear the baby’s voice or (if already pregnant) the baby may start to move or kick. It is a visceral, gut knowing and understanding. They will know from every cell of who they are that this is true.
Q: Teresa, how did you first come to know and understand the possibility of communicating with the unborn child? And also, how did you develop the techniques you use with your clients?
A: I first learned about and joined APPPAH in 1985. During that time I worked at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies and was waking up to many healing concepts and ideas. “Grokking” (intuitively understanding) the spirit of the baby and his/her involvement in the birthing process became a part of what I was learning, along with an increased respect for power of the mind/body/spirit connection.
During 1987-89 I worked as a clinical coordinator for a first trimester abortion clinic. My involvement and connection with unborn babies became heightened because of this work and from reading a book named A Difficult Decision,* a compassionate book about abortion. Many times while witnessing an abortion procedure I would see or sense the spirit of the baby leave.
Early on I had a patient who needed a repeat procedure. What she shared with me dramatically changed my counseling approach. She said, in reference to her pregnancy, “I just wasn’t ready to let go of that part of me and my boyfriend last week.” From that moment on, I have talked to women who are considering terminating a pregnancy or who are miscarrying, advising them to connect with the baby and say goodbye in order to let go.
In 1989 I moved to Colorado to finally become a midwife. My approach during school and later in my practice was to promote bonding between all members of the family and their baby during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period. One of my favorite (although not most skilled) things to do during a prenatal visit was to draw the baby on the mom’s belly. I always attempted to ask the baby’s permission when touching it either externally or during a vaginal exam. In these ways I was connecting with those babies.
Six years ago, a woman who did psychic readings on new babies and families came to my office and gave me a complimentary reading. We became friends, and eventually I studied with her for two years. The gift of that study enabled me to understand all of the input I receive and to discern what was mine and what was someone else’s. This study provided the finishing touch to present my work as I share it today. However, the style and flavor of my work very much incorporates all of my study and growth over the past twenty years. The work I now share with women and their families thoroughly integrates all of who I am: the midwife, the intuitive, and the healer.
Do Children Exist Prior to Conception and Birth?
Elisabeth Hallett
See Elisabeth’s site and books at Light Hearts
Do our children really exist somehow before conception? And if they do, what are the patterns that bring us together as parent and child? Personally, I would love to believe that my children were destined for me and nobody else… that I was chosen as the ideal mother for this pair of wonder-kids. And indeed many stories of pre-birth communication do support the view that our children are predestined to be with us.
An Australian woman recently sent me her story. She had two daughters, and didn’t plan to bear any more children; her husband had undergone a vasectomy following the second girl’s arrival. But six years later, the mother had a vision at the edge of sleep. Three beings in luminous robes presented her with a beautiful baby boy and told her that she was ready to have her “next child,” and that this child awaited her. The message and vision were compelling enough to lead to a vasectomy reversal-and the birth of a baby boy the following year.
The stories in last month’s column (“Trailed By A Cherub”) suggest there are persevering souls who are determined to join their destined parents. But are these arrangements hard and fast? Some experiences point to a certain creative flexibility at play in the pre-conception world. For example, a four-year-old girl told her mother that before she was born, she and Jesus used to sit together while she decided whether to be a boy in one family or a girl in another. “She said she decided at the last minute to come to us as a girl,” the mother reports, “and then she and Jesus laughed and went off to play till it was time to go.” It may not be hard evidence, but it’s thought-provoking!
When parents-to-be experience a persistent “visitor,” there is sometimes the suggestion of a time limit-a window of opportunity. Patricia was fearful of becoming pregnant, although she had powerful dreams of a little boy for over a year. While wide awake one day, she finally heard a clear message that this was her last chance to bear this child, as he had to “move on.” Move on to where? Perhaps to another prospective family?
Sharon was the mother of two small boys when she wrote, “As Daniel is getting older, we think often about whether or not we will give birth to another child. I still feel the presence of a little one ‘waiting in the wings,’ a little blond boy.” After a year of uncertainty, Sharon decided against having another child. But she mused, “I have a question as to what happens to these little guys who seem to have such a strong spirit, when you say ‘no’ to their birth?”
In researching my book “Soul Trek,” I occasionally encountered a situation where a woman felt uncomfortably pressured by the sense of “someone wanting to be born.” In one such case, a mother already had three children but was reluctantly preparing to conceive another boy whose presence she felt around her. “I’m pretty resigned that I will do it,” she wrote, “because I don’t want to get to the other side and meet this person who will tell me that I just didn’t want him to come.”
True, there are stories of pre-birth experiences that seem to suggest we’re duty-bound to bear the children appointed to us by destiny or a higher power. But other stories imply more of a give and take, a process of mutual choosing with freedom on both sides-potential parent and possible child. Such accounts can provide creative ideas for entering into this kind of conversation.
APPPAH member Mary Knight (author of “Love Letters Before Birth and Beyond”) shares her own experience. “For years, I’ve felt a little girl presence waiting patiently ‘in the ethers.’ She appears in my mind’s eye as having dark, black curly hair and brown eyes. When I mentioned her to some writer friends many years ago, one of them suggested that perhaps I was imagining a character in a future novel. In the last few years, her presence has been seen by two psychics on two different occasions-unsolicited. The last one said that if I didn’t bring her in through my body that she’d probably find another way to me-which is what I’ve told her she needs to do.
“Still, there’s a pull… and a little guilt that I’m not complying. However, I know that she wants it to be a free choice for all of us, and I just can’t bring myself to it. There is a sense of loss with this choice. I know that I am missing a precious gift. I think I should probably create and perform a ritual in which we acknowledge letting go of each other. I will promise to be ‘looking for her’ in other places throughout my life.”
A mother of two found that the persistent visits of a potential child helped her to clarify her life’s direction. “About six months after my second child was born, I became aware of another female being who wanted to be born to us. She would always appear off to my upper right consciousness and even though I love babies and nurturing, I knew having another baby would be very hard for me. I sent those messages to her with love whenever she appeared.
“I can’t remember when she stopped visiting me; perhaps four to six months later. I wanted to get back into my music and I have been able to do that now. I feel so vitalized, so excited about what I am doing now that a baby would be quite an adjustment for me. I feel that she hung around a respectable amount of time, giving me time to really think about my priorities, yet not pressuring me in any way; I believe she stopped appearing when I made a firm commitment to pursue my music again.”
Some accounts even offer glimpses of the alternate routes a child may take, when the answer turns out to be “no.” Anne lives in a community of families with shared values. Early in their marriage, she and her husband decided to remain childless. “Around the time that the whole question got settled,” she recalls, “I became aware that someone was hovering around me quite often, hoping that she could be born to us. One day, as I was walking through the woods, the presence became much stronger than usual and it was almost as if I could see her-for it was clearly now a she. It would be an exaggeration to say that it was a vision of any kind. It was more like a clear picture in my mind. She wasn’t pretty, or even cute in the usual sense. But she was very interesting looking. She had lots of character in her face, and dynamic greenish eyes, a largish nose, dark curly hair. Very mischievous and looking very strong willed.
“I spoke to her definitely, telling her that I could see she would be great fun to be with and it would no doubt be a joy to be her mother. But it really wasn’t in the plan for us to have any children at all. So I suggested to her that there were many other fine families around the community that she could join. And if there was any particular reason she wanted to know us, we could still be part of her life. Shortly after this, I didn’t feel her around any more.
“Recently, it occurred to me that a certain girl in our community may be the same soul. Not because I have any particular affinity with her, but because she resembles the girl I saw in my mind and also because the personality she is apparently exhibiting-which is quite forceful and unusual-reminds me of the child that I met in my mind.”
A prominent psychologist has questioned the value of sharing personal stories that suggest pre-birth communication. He asks, “How much of this is wishful thinking or fantasy, combined with a modicum of intuition, and a certain level of inner processing that provides images and inner dialogue?” His point is well taken and sounds a valid note of caution; yet I’m persuaded the subject is worth pursuing in spite of such factors. Our colleague goes on to say, “The main question is what can be meaningfully learned from all of this?”
Perhaps to say “we learn” is not quite right. These stories can change us. They free the imagination to explore what was once an absolute void before the beginning of life. They allow us to guess at possible patterns in the mystery of relationships. On this frontier, our vision of reality may “shapeshift”.
More intimately, they’ve changed the way I see my children, bringing a certain grace of gratefulness. From time to time I find myself thinking — even saying aloud-“Thank you for coming to our family.” The possibility that they might as easily have joined some other set of parents is a humbling one. Consider the surprising conversation with her little boy that one mother recalls:
“When Brett was between three and four years old, he was very angry with me one day. He said, ‘I hate you, Mommy. You weren’t even my first choice for a Mommy.’ I somehow managed to stay centered and asked, ‘Who was your first choice?’
“It was a woman from the Philippines but she was already taken.”
Editor’s Note: Special thanks to Mary Knight for her story.
For more information about her book Love Letters: Before Birth and Beyond, email:singleeyeo@aol.com
Carol Bowman for a short quote from her message board at Children’s Past Lives; contributors to Soul Trek, and Light Hearts.
Please join in exploring this frontier. If you have had experiences that suggest communication before conception or before birth, please consider sharing them through future installments of this column.
You can reach the editor by email or write to Elisabeth Hallett, P.O. Box 705, Hamilton, MT 59840
Brief Book Review
Sarah Hinze: Coming From the Light: Spiritual Accounts of Life Before Life (Simon & Schuster, 1997).
It is often said that when the time is ripe for a new idea, it will occur to several people at once.
Unknown to each other, Sarah Hinze and I both gathered stories of pre-birth and pre-conception contacts over many years. Her book, initially published as Life Before Life, has been revised and reissued in a Pocket Books edition as Coming From the Light: Spiritual Accounts of Life Before Life (Simon & Schuster, 1997). The new edition is enhanced by an Afterword by Sarah’s husband, psychologist Brent Hinze, Ph.D., in which he draws comparisons between near-death and pre-birth experiences and analyzes the aspects of a “typical” pre-birth contact.
Sarah’s approach is deeply spiritual and reverent. She presents more than thirty inspiring personal stories from parents and adoptive parents, describing connections with their children before conception and during pregnancy (or the pre-adoption period). Sarah’s own experiences are perhaps the most remarkable of all, told in the moving first chapter. It opens with the words, “My interest in life before life is very personal. Before each of our nine children was born, I sensed that he or she was preparing to come to earth.”
Excerpts of this lovely book can be read online at Sarah’s website.
INVITATION: Please join in exploring the mysteries of communication before conception. If you have had such an experience, please consider sharing it here! You can contact me by e-mail at soultrek@montana.com or by letter: Elisabeth Hallett, Box 705, Hamilton MT 59840.