The Many Ways To A New Life

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The Many Ways To A New Life

The Pilgrims Journey to the West

The Ox Herding Pictures



The Many Ways To A New Life

There are many modern and ancient ways to arrive at a better life. Below I will give some details of them.

Many of the ways describe a process of personal growth that is possible for many today. Just as humans started their journey as an animal with no speech and no rational mind and moved on into what we know today as self-awareness; so we are ready to take another step in our evolution. This is sometimes seen as a release from suffering and is a growth in awareness as far ahead of self-consciousness as self-consciousness is of primal animal consciousness.

To properly connect and realise what is being communicated it is necessary to be able to put one’s rational mind aside and able to enter a different level of ourselves. I call it The Keyboard Condition.

To achieve it we need to ‘hang loose’. So apart from habitual attitudes, the first step of practice is to learn a form of relaxation in which our body has dropped unnecessary tension and is like a keyboard ready to be played.

I find it helps if we create something of this feeling consciously, holding our body, our emotions, our sexuality, your mind, and memories as if they were keys upon which the inner dramatist can play. In a sense we are seeking to create a condition similar to sleep. As we fall asleep we let go of our control over what we think, what we do with our body, and what we fantasy. Our ‘I’, our decision making self has relaxed and left the stage free for the more intuitive level of our awareness to create its realisations. So in approaching our ability to understand and feel the message being communicated we need to take on a similar relaxed state without actually going to sleep.

  1. D. Laing, the psychiatrist, in describing the search for one’s fundamental self said, ‘The Life I am trying to grasp is the me that is trying to grasp it.’

One of the sites listed has a heading, ‘What you are looking for is what is looking.’

This change is not a state of mind you can create or develop. It is something beyond any change, outside of anything you can develop. After all, development suggests change.

The frustrating thing about finding this is that the harder one tries to grasp it, the further away from it one gets. The more effort one makes in trying to achieve it, the less one finds of it.

It is the ever present, self existent core of yourself that remains when all else drops away. So the question should not be can I develop the state of mind that is sometimes called enlightenment, but how can I realise this fundamental state?

One of the enlightenment experiences someone describes was as follows:

The many different paths to the one great ocean of Life can be summarised in a simple way because they all have a common factor. It, like dancing or meditating for extended periods, quietens your normal way of thinking and looking at the world. In a meditation seminar I attended that lasted for several days in which we meditated for 17 hours a day, I observed this with great clarity. After three days of meditation I saw my thinking mind, my personal self-awareness faint. It could no longer sustain the continued concentrated pursuit of the question we were asking – ‘Who Are You’. In the moment of my rational thinking mind fainting there was an experience of divine Life knowing itself as this man people call B. In that state I knew connection with all the people around me, and the birds, trees, and earth. For they and I shared the same essence. I had arrived home at the source of things. I felt I was in the Garden of Eden, and that we had never left it. That experience, as ephemeral as it may sound, has given me something that strengthened me to pass through big life changes, and travel joyfully into old age.

While experiencing this state one’s view of things often contradicts everyday thinking and views for it is paradoxical, that is, every fact we believe in this state contradicts itself, for everything is seen as true, only the normal awareness sees things as opposite or contradictory. Therefore the following statement was made from an experience of enlightenment:

I am a wave on a shoreless sea.
From no beginning
I travel to no goal,
Making my movements stillness.
Constantly I am arriving
And departing,
Being born and dying.
I am always with you
And yet have never been.

There are things to practice that are a great help to let the process start.

“The Self is the Self and there is no such thing as realising it. For who is to realise what, and how, when all that exists is the Self and nothing but the Self.” Sri Ramana Maharshi

“Then I was slowly filled with bliss. The bliss wasn’t about anything, it had always been there, but I had been so full of my searching and hope it hadn’t been apparent. I experienced it now because I had become empty. I realised this was the bliss Buddha spoke about. It was the peace that was beyond understanding mentioned in Christianity. I didn’t feel anything had produced this bliss; it was the self-existent base of me. I could see that it was because I had dared to let go of the things I had felt were so important.”

This life – of enlightenment – is just a describer, and one of the things it sees is that this state does not belong to anyone. It’s not something you can get from someone. It’s who everyone is. From here, the highest volume is the sound of the infinite ocean that we all are. Suzanne Sega.

Since there is nothing to meditate on, there is no meditation.

Since there is nowhere to go astray, there is no going astray.

Although there is an innumerable variety of profound practices, they do not exist for your mind in its true state.

Since there are no two such things as practice and practitioner, if, by those who practice or do not practice, the practitioner of practice is seen to not exist, thereupon the goal of practice is reached and also the end of practice itself. Padmasambhava

Liberation is achieved by the practice of non-activity, say the Masters of the Secret Teachings.

What is, according to them, non-activity? — Let us first of all notice that it has nothing in common with the quietism of certain Christian or oriental mystics. Ought one to believe that it consists in inertia and that the disciples of the Master’s who honour it are exhorted to abstain from doing anything whatever? — Certainly not.

In the first place, it is impossible for a living being to do nothing. To exist is, in itself, a kind of activity. The doctrine of non-action does not in any way aim at those actions which are habitual in life: eating, sleeping, walking, speaking, reading, studying, etc. In contradistinction to the Taoist mystics who, in general, consider that the practice of non-activity requires complete isolation in a hermitage, the Masters of the Secret Teachings, although prone to appreciate “the joys of solitude”, do not consider them in any way indispensable. As for the practice of non-activity itself, they judge it absolutely necessary for the production of the state of deliverance (tharpa).

They never tire of repeating the classic simile of the two chains. Whether one is bound by an iron chain or by a golden chain means, in both cases, to be bound. The activity used in the practice of virtue is the chain of gold while that utilized in evil deeds is the iron chain. Both imprison the doer.

What then is this activity from which one ought to abstain? — It is the disordered activity of the mind which, unceasingly, devotes itself to the work of a builder erecting ideas, creating an imaginary world in which it shuts itself like a chrysalis in its cocoon. (Quoted from The Secret Oral Teachings of Tibetan Buddhist Sects – By Alexandra David Neal and Lama Yongden).

The state of deliverance, what is that? Well, it is deliverance from all the enormous anxiety, terrible emotional pain people suffer, the great fear of death that haunts millions, the uncertainty of what one is, what should one do in life.

ChristopherHills says in ‘Nuclear Evolution’, when molecules come together to form a cell, a whole new dimension of experience is arrived at. And when cells form a multi-celled body, again there is a leap into a higher consciousness, with expanded abilities. So, when individual men and women reach through from individual awareness to cosmic awareness we begin to have a united world. Just as millions of cells in the body express one will, so the next leap in evolution is towards this unity in diversity, which will expand human awareness as much as multi cellular unity expands from single cell life. See LifeStream

The Pilgrims Journey to the West

THE JOURNEY TO THE WEST is based on a true story of a Buddhist monk, Xuan Zang, and his pilgrimage to India to acquire the “true scriptures.” Buddhism had entered China from India during the Han dynasty, mainly as the religion of foreign merchants. It spread amongst the Chinese population after the fall of the Han, during the so-called Period of Division, when China was in a constant state of chaos, war, and misery. “I teach suffering,” said the Buddha, “and how to escape it.” This was very different message from the statecraft of Han Confucianism or the mixture of mysticism, magic, and local religion Taoism had become, and one which found a deep response in the anarchy China had disintegrated into at that time. Xuan Zang’s youth coincided with the reunification of China under the short-lived Sui dynasty. He was a precocious child and received a scholarship (to use the modern idiom) to study in the Pure Land Monastery.

The Buddhist scriptures in China had been translated at different times and places, by translators of different levels of ability and understanding of Buddhist doctrines, even translations of translations of translations through the various languages of India and Central Asia. Xuan Zang  could see that beyond the confusion there was great Truth, but that that Truth could only be found in the original and genuine scriptures of Buddhism. That would entail going to India to get them.

Indian Buddhism and Xuan Zang  was particularly interested in acquiring the Sanskrit text of the yoga sastra, which taught that “the outside does not exist, but the inside does. All things are mental activities only.” That was the basis of the Consciousness Only School of Buddhism, founded in China by Xuan Zang. Metaphysical and abstract, it did not become a popular school, but its influence persists.

Xuan Zang  was 28 when he started on his pilgrimage to India. It was a pilgrimage with a purpose, altruistic and not personal: to bring the “true scriptures” to China for the salvation of lost souls. He spent sixteen years away, travelling from what is now Xi’an through Gansu, and from there through the oasis cities around the Taklamakan desert, into Central Asia, then through what is now Afghanistan to India. After his return to China he wrote a detailed geographical description of the lands he had passed through, with notes on the peoples, their languages and beliefs. This book is called Record of the Western Regions, in Chinese Xiyuji. The Chinese title of The Monkey King’s Amazing Adventures is Xiyouji, a deliberate and direct reference to Xuan Zang ’s records of his travels.

In the early twentieth century the Record of the Western Regions became a guidebook to many of the “foreign devils on the silk road.” Sir Aurel Stein was one of these, who convinced the curator of the secret library of Dunhuang that Xuan Zang  was his patron saint, thus persuading him to hand over large quantities of thousand year old manuscripts. Much in the way of Heinrich Schliemann with Homer in hand looking for Troy, Aurel Stein and the others relied on Xuan Zang ’s Record of the Western Regions as a guide, located long buried cities under the sands of the Taklamakan desert. Xuan Zang , incidentally, visited Dunhuang on his way back to Xi’an—in fact he had been provided with an escort from Khotan, on the emperor’s orders. It is not known if the famous portrait in one of the caves is of Xuan Zang , or another itinerant monk.

The novel – The Journey To The West – is a fictionalized account of the legends that had grown up around Xuan Zang ’s travels. The Record of the Western Regions and The Life of Xuan Zang , a biography of Xuan Zang  written by a disciple, Huili, were full of stories of strange kingdoms with even stranger customs, attacks from robbers and pirates, mountains, ravines, wild animals, and dangers of all types. Even demons and devils are mentioned. Stories about Xuan Zang were told by itinerant storytellers in the market places, mixed with various local folk tales and other traditions. Modified history was the stock in trade of the storytellers, other famous stories deriving from the complex history of China during the Three Kingdoms, after the fall of the Han, or the adventures of a group of outlaws living on a mountain during the Song dynasty. Historical details were not important to the storytellers, but the stories were fleshed out with all sorts of fictional embellishments to attract the interest of the listener, or later the reader. Each “round” would end on a dramatic note, with the words “If you want to know what happened next, you must listen to the next chapter.” So the next chapter would start with a brief synopsis of the story so far, before continuing it. This is the origin of the “episodic novel,” the usual form of traditional Chinese novels.

On one level The Monkey King’s amazing adventures is an adventure story, under a very funny one.  On another level it is an allegory in which the pilgrimage to India is a simile for the individual seeking enlightenment.  On the first level, the monkey, the pig, the monk, and the sand spirit, and the innumerable of demons and monsters, are characterisations of us on our own inner adventure.  On the second, there are a sign of the personification of our own innate character, and of the pains, the mistaken ideas. The pupils fantasies an their trying to achieve spiritual awareness, trying to keep the impetuous mental character that we are, the lazy and lustful creature we can become, and the often depressive person we may be, all are being faced in the adventure we are slowly dealt with towards becoming enlightened.

The book is much too long to quote here but is easily available and if read with the realization that it is a symbolic story which is communicating with the very depths of our being, it can be a very wonderful guide. Most of the information was quotes from the book Journey to the West

The Ox Herding Pictures

ut there are age old ways of regaining our beauty and our wonderful potential. I will explain them as simply as I can, and there is no authority to teach you, because it is all yours if you have the courage to uncover it.

The first is the Way of the Ox Herding shown in ancient Chinese thought. The teaching is shown in a series of pictures. They are from the 12th century and may represent a Zen Buddhist interpretation of the ten stages experienced by a person who seeks enlightenment – a greater ability to understand Life.

No. 1 In Search of the Bull (aimless searching, only the sound of cicadas.








No. 2   Discovery of the Footprints (a path to follow)

This is the first step in awakening. He/She realises that they are not alone within themselves, but a wild animal lives in him and they set out to find it, not knowing what it is or is capable of. He/She is only just becoming aware of the instinctive drives, the untamed hungers, those natural addictions to eating, to sex, to being the winner or violent  person; all of which they may not be able to do without. Before it was felt they were him or her self and not realising the pain or torment they often caused.




No. 3 Perceiving the Bull (but only its rear, not its head)


The bull is of course his own native or natural self, the inner animal, shown as his sexual power, his inner wildness, his natural hungers which he only catches a glimpse of. He/She doesn’t realise what influence it has in life yet.







No. 4 Catching the Bull (a great struggle, the bull repeatedly escapes, discipline required)


This is where the person becomes really aware of what he is dealing with, the enormous power of the instincts and how they rule one’s life. A new realisation, and one not easily understood, for the person is still under the influence of the inner animal. It has lived its life from its own instincts without any thought and is a creature of habits. Facing these and the tricks they play on the mind asks a lot. See Habits

In this period a long struggle to deal with one’s instinctive self, and in fact with one’s personality occurs. He/She must harness these impulses, not repress them, because they are the basic energy and creativity within one. Because these are all instinctive and habitual reactions, they must be slowly redirected.  They involve:

Physical movement, so in traditional use of yoga postures the aim was to be able to sit without movement for three hours, and to do it each day for three months, because it took a long time to retrain the inner wildness.

Sexual expression is another way the instinctive self expresses. Again it should not be harnessed by repression, but by gradually leading up the body into higher forms of energy release. See Energy Sex and Dreams – Kundalini

Hunger for food or sensual satisfaction is also instinctive. This can be seen when a new born baby wants to do after it starts to breathe is to reconnect and feed from the breast. So regular fasting was an ancient method, but it should not be done from the attitude that one must lose weight. See Fasting

The emotions and their instinctive expression in humans can be experienced as panic attacks, painful emotional reactions to relationships, suicidal tendencies, and generally being shattered by your emotions. This generally links with disturbed breathing patterns such as breath holding and not be able to breath smoothly. A traditional way of healing this is by using controlled breathing. Ways of doing this are – but remember, it takes time to change lifetime habits.

There is a very necessary lesson we must learn if we do not have it already – the full breath. You can easily see by places your hands on your chest and your abdomen below the rib cage. With your hands there breath deeply in and out a few times. Does just one hand rise on the chest – or do both hand rise alternately? If it is just the hand on the chest it suggests you have a massive tension that stops you breathing fully and also suggests you are unable to fully experience your emotions and feelings. To move beyond it, first learn to move the hand on the abdomen by full expanding your lungs by using your diaphragm muscle. It may at first feel as if yiu have to force yourself to breath, but you must continue until anew habit of breathing is established. Also see 1-4-2 Breath Control and The Breath Meditation

The voice is another way of instinctive expression. I have met a few people who cannot stop talking, and a way to deal with it is to become aware of it and harness it. Some of the great beings who took this path of the Ox Herding tell their story.

In 1927 Buckminster Fuller stood on the shore of Lake Michigan contemplating suicide. He said to himself: ‘I’ve done the best I know how and it hasn’t worked.’ He was still grieving the loss of a daughter who had died five years earlier; his business had just failed. He was penniless and 32 years old. He wondered how he could support his wife and newly born baby, but, after struggling with his despair for hours in the dark and the freezing wind, he decided to live the rest of life like an experiment. He wanted to discover whether the golden rule of life was dog eat dog. He would find out by seeing what could be physically demonstrated. To free his mind of conditioned thinking and reflexes he stopped talking for a year. He is now known for many, many achievements.

Fuller said that he had experienced a profound incident which would provide direction and purpose for his life. He felt as though he was suspended several feet above the ground enclosed in a white sphere of light. A voice spoke directly to Fuller, and declared:

From now on you need never await temporal attestation to your thought. You think the truth. You do not have the right to eliminate yourself. You do not belong to you. You belong to Universe. Your significance will remain forever obscure to you, but you may assume that you are fulfilling your role if you apply yourself to converting your experiences to the highest advantage of others.[10]

Mental activity is another escape route. It is a way people sometimes use to prevent them for experience other aspects of the mind or consciousness. Many disciplines tell people to stop thinking, to quieten their mental activity. That is one way but there is also Intuition which leads one past the age old responses. Also try Opening to Life

No. 5  Taming the Bull (less straying, less discipline, bull becomes gentle and obedient)

After a long struggle and much work on oneself one begins to see real changes and this gives hope of finding liberation from human miseries. See Martial Art of the Mind – Zombies

No. 6 Riding the Bull Home (great joy)

This is a time when the conscious personality is becoming integrated with the powerful instinctive drives that have caused so much anguish, pain, confusion and even despair often even leading to suicide. The union between the instincts, the unconscious brings the emergence of joy in one’s life. A great deal of struggle was felt when meeting one’s inner traumas and unconscious habits. These like great lumps of rock blocked the flow of joy that was always there. The darkness they caused was the human miseries.



No. 7 The Bull Transcended (once home, the bull is forgotten, discipline’s whip is idle; stillness)


There is no more work to be done on self, but one experiences a lasting silence of all the voices of emotion, pain, ideas, conviction and beliefs which mastered you. It is as if you passed through the unknown into the known. You live in a lasting peace. In the silence one realises so much that had been hidden behind the noise of one’s own mind and emotions. See  Meeting the Unknown






No. 8 Both Bull and Self Transcended (all forgotten and empty)


This is often called enlightenment, but it is better described as the realisation that you have grown to the point of realising yourself as nothing/everything. It is a paradox, because all life is paradoxical. But it is a blessed state in which there is both a state of striving/non-striving – being/non-being. It is not understood until experienced, like the sound of one hand clapping. See Enlightenment




No. 9 Reaching the Source (unconcerned with or without; the sound of cicadas)


You are in touch with your core self, the creator, and so there is a period in which realise you are at the beginning and ending. You know the trees and animals and you are kindred. The river of life flows through you. See River – Core Self






No. 10 Return to Society (crowded marketplace; spreading enlightenment by mingling with humankind)

Now the real end of the journey is upon you where the realisation is lived that you are at the same time everything and everywhere, but also alone and in space and time in your body. You are just an ordinary person who has been on an amazing journey, and all that shows is your experience and wisdom.

Quoted from Wikipedia –

Barefooted and naked of breast,
I mingle with the people of the world.
My clothes are ragged and dust-laden,
and I am ever blissful.
I use no magic to extend my life;
Now, before me, the dead trees
become alive.






Below is a man’s experience as he was exploring his inner being that says in a different way the message of the Ox Herding Pictures:

“What I slowly realised was what occurred as humans experienced self-consciousness; That this was different to anything else on our planet. Animals, like humans, are integral parts of the cycles of change and inter-relatedness. Not being self-conscious, however, they are not aware of their situation, their is-ness, their existence, they just are.

Animals live, they procreate as an expression of their cosmic energies. But unconsciously they are part of the wonder of the cosmos. Nothing is their own, not their birth, not the life, not their death. Animals do not suffer uncertainty about who they are, but live their life as part of nature, Life itself.

But we as evolving humans had lived in this state for millions of years where we never had to make decisions but were directed by our instincts. And being conscious and able to look back upon oneself and ask, “What am I?” – We were suddenly naked of this background of support given by instincts and felt exposed and unprotected.

But we still have the animal feelings of fear, anxiety, panic attacks and so suffer incredible confusion and depression. As humans we began to feel the awfulness, the loneliness, the absence of choice, the compulsiveness of their situation. They no longer had the connection with the Whole and the wonderful deep instinctive wisdom  that animals have, except for some remarkable women and men.

Many religious doctrines stressed this realisation. In Buddhism it is said that we are bound to the wheel of life and death without really knowing our plight.

In Hinduism it is stated as being lost and blinded by Maya/Illusion, and so chained to existence because we are blind to who or what we are and what we are doing. In Christianity it is stressed we are sinners and have no real existence if we are not saved. We are sheep – that are led to slaughter and eaten by the Shepherd.

For religions talk about eternal life, but of course they are not talking about our body’s life, but there is such a thing as eternal existence, for the original sells of life didn’t become old but are immortal, for they keep on dividing and do not die. In dividing they constantly creates copies of themselves, but as they gather new experience, it changes what is copied, so becomes the ‘seed’ for multi-cellular organism. So, no plant or creature grows from a dead seed, and each living seed carries within it all the past gathered from all its forebears. So, the seed in your mother’s womb is as old as and even older than human kind, and you carry that wisdom or memories in you. But in this life you developed a new brain, and the memories you gathered this time are what you built your personality from, but beneath that is a very ancient self. This seems to say that our real and eternal self is in the seed our body developed from, and we, our ego our personality and body are ways the eternal life, the cell, can gain new experience, which is all carried in the seed.

Also we believe that ancient self is beyond knowing, but of course many people as their awareness reaches beyond what they feel is their normal self feels scared. Such resistances cause us to create awful dreams and fears as a means of avoiding our own inner world and its wonders. We feel that we will be swallowed up and we will die. It is important to say that when we meet the experience of powerlessness through becoming aware of the hugeness of your Life, which we are usually unaware if, it feels like something alien or attacking and it is a shock.

People run from this realisation in any and every direction. But a few men and women worked out the puzzle of human existence and death. They noticed a factor that was not in itself natural (yet it is not unnatural, as in infinite change, everything is possible). The people noticed that humans were, like animals, locked into compulsive instinctual life patterns but without the coping instincts of their fellow animals. So eating, sleeping, sex, self-seeking, were unconscious compulsive drives in which all humanity were immersed; it was found one in four women in the US are taking a prescription drug for mental health.

Most of us are in fact addicts – addicted to eating too much or too little; addicted to sex as the meaning of life; addicted to get more of everything than others, such as money or power; addicted to seeing themselves as powerless – “life’s a bitch, and then you die”; addiction to killing, hurting and maiming others in war and activity. But having self-consciousness, decisions can be made. One could decide not to live out these compulsive patterns, and through being aware if this they gradually climbed out into a new life. See Life’s Little Secrets

If one actually stopped and simply recognised that we are all a part of Life and so do not need to be victims of our own ‘natural urges’ – something unusual sometimes happened. We are all born victims of circumstance, but we need not remain a victim.”


In the west we usually see yoga as a series of postures that people try to do perfectly. That is really a form of physical exercise, but yoga as it is described in the classics on the subject, such as Hatha Yoga Pradipka and The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali describe it as having very different aims. But the Sanskrit word Yoga means Union, the unity is between one’s individual life and the source of our being.

The most important relationship you are in is that with Life itself. People tend to believe their mother created them in her womb – but how does any human mother know the amazing intricate processes of growth and development that is necessary to form a human baby? We tend to think that Life is automatic and without awareness – yet life created you in your mother’s womb. How could it do that if Life were without awareness? Life gave you consciousness. Life loves you enough to keep you breathing and your heart beating even while you sleep. The Native Indians call it Creator. We tend to call it God with a male face – which is ridiculous – for the Creator is behind everything, the plants, the animals the women and men.

You may think that your brain gives you consciousness, but the brain was created by the process of Life, so the Creator gives consciousness. But people’s experience says the same-

Sir Auckland Geddes, an eminent British Anatomist, describes his own OBE, which contains many of these features.

Becoming suddenly and violently ill with gastro-enteritis I quickly became unable to move or phone for help. As this was occurring I noticed I had an ‘A’ and a ‘B’ consciousness. The ‘A’ was my normal awareness, and the ‘B’ was external to my body watching. From the ‘B’ self I could see not only my body, but also the house, garden and surrounds. I need only think of a friend or place and immediately I was there and was later able to find confirmation for my observations. In looking at my body, I noticed that the brain was only an end organ, like a condensing plate, upon which memory and awareness played. The mind was not in the brain, the brain was in the mind, like a radio in the play of signals. He then observed my daughter come in and discover his condition, saw her telephone a doctor friend, and saw the doctor also at the same time.

That is the Yoga view.

To start with there are several different steps in Hatha (physical) Yoga, and they do not even mention the postures at the beginning. The first necessary steps are yama and niyama, that is followed by asanas, the postures. Then comes pranayama, breath control. The following steps are Pratyahara (subjugation of senses), Dharana (withdrawing the senses from external phenomena), Dhyana (remaining unidentified with body or mind), Samadhi (transcending the realms of body, mind and intellect), and Samyama (knowledge beyond the mind and intellect).

“There is not a single asana that is not intended directly or indirectly for the mind; however, for the advanced meditation practices of there are only two postures that are considered essential. These siddhasana and padmasana. The other asanas have been devised to strengthen different parts of the body and to develop the needed strength required by the rigid physical disciplines imposed upon the student… Posture becomes perfect when effort to that end ceases, so that there may be no more movement of the body. The requirement that the posture must be held for three hours is the chief difficulty and makes intelligible why it took so long to achieve it.” Quoted from Hatha Yoga by Theos Bernard

The easy posture – siddhasana         The Lotus posture – padmasana

Although I followed these steps as fully as I could, I was working full time, being a parent to my children, and I couldn’t keep it up. As Theos Bernard who managed the whole demanding process says, it was usually done in a different culture where one had servants caring for your needs. But as I explained at the beginning I found a way by using a mixture of different approaches that I call LifeStream.

However, from yoga I learnt that things have to be done to strengthen the personality or the ego – in other words you need to strengthen you and your will. For example, many people cannot stop eating because they are ruled by their instincts. So fasting is an excellent way of testing your strength. And by fasting I do not mean like Ramadan where the person simply doesn’t eat during sunrise and sunset, which in Africa was fairly early. Fasting means to not eat anything for several days. I did it for a fortnight when I started in my twenties, and now do it two days a week.

But I suggest controlling the breath – pranayama – for a way of strengthening the will and a preparation for meeting the enormousness of you. Many people feel they do not need to strengthen their will, yet they still cannot control their emotions their appetites or themselves – so it is like having a tiger loose in their house, yet if you were strong enough to hold the tiger it wouldn’t matter if it were loose in your living area.

The question is are you controlling it or is it controlling you. Most people are terribly upset when someone they depend on for love or support leaves them, or if they are lonely or depressed – but they are all your emotions controlling you. Many people became mentally ill when they were confined to their living quarters during the pandemic.

The following is given by Jesse Watkins, a man who went to sea 1916 on a tramp steamer during World War I. His first trip was to North Russia where he faced enormous storms. In the same year he was torpedoed in the Mediterranean. In 1932 he served in a square-rigged sailing ship.

He ended the Second World War (during which he served in the Royal Navy) as a Commander and Commodore of coastal convoys. During his career at sea he encountered shipwreck, mutiny, and murder. So he was not someone who couldn’t face difficulties. Yet later he was out of the navy working seven days a week and as yoga attempts to do, wore down his normal defences that people use to keep them from experiences their own hugeness and said, “Then I started going into this – – real feeling of regression in time. I had quite extraordinary feelings of-living, not only living, but – er – feeling and – er – experi­encing everything relating to something I felt that was – well, something like animal life and so on. At one time I actually seemed to be wandering in a kind of landscape with – um – desert landscape – as if I were an animal, rather – rather a large animal. It sounds absurd to say so but I felt as if I were a kind of rhinoceros or something like that and emitting sounds like a rhinoceros and being at the same time afraid and at the same time being ag­gressive and on guard. And then -um – going back to further periods of regression and even sort of when I was just struggling like something that had no brain at all and as if I were just struggling for my own existence against other things which were opposing me. And -um – then at times I felt as if I were like a baby – I could even – I – I could even hear myself cry like a child. …

“ But I had a feeling at times of an enormous journey in front, quite, – er – a fantastic journey, and it seemed that I had got an under­standing of things which I’d been trying to understand for a long time, problems of good and evil and so on, and that I had solved it in as much that I had come to the conclusion, with all the feelings that I had at the time, that I was more – more than I had always imagined myself, not just existing now, but I had existed since the very begin­ning – er – in a kind of – from the lowest form of life to the present time, and that that was the sum of my real experiences, and that what I was doing was experiencing them again. And that then, occasionally, I had this sort of vista ahead of me as though I was looking down -looking to an enormous – or rather all the – not looking so much as just feeling – ahead of me was lying the most horrific journey, the only way I can describe it is a journey – a journey to – um – to the final sort of business of – um – being aware of all – everything, and that – and the – and I felt this so strongly, it was such a horrifying experience to suddenly feel that, that I immediately shut myself off from it because I couldn’t contemplate it’ because it sort of shivered me up. I – it drove me into a State of fear, so much – I was unable to take it.” See The Unconsciousreaction to our hugeness

There is no way – there is no path

The strange thing about yoga is that although one may make efforts to gain enlightenment, in fact we all have it and so there is no need to make an effort.

This life – of enlightenment – is just a describer, and one of the things it sees is that this state does not belong to anyone. It’s not something you can get from someone. It’s who everyone is. From here, the highest volume is the sound of the infinite ocean that we all are. Suzanne Sega.

If you stop editing your thoughts and emotions, and let things happen as Jung suggests, material that had been repressed and unconscious starts to emerge. If you are still totally identified with your emotions, your body sensations, your sexual urges and thoughts, then you could be tossed around like a rag doll by a dog. So, ‘Do Nothing but let things Happen’.

  1. D. Laing sums it up in his book `Politics of Experience’ by saying: “This journey is experienced as going further “in”, as going back through one’s personal life. in and back and through and beyond into the experience of all mankind, of the primal man, of Adam and perhaps even further into the being of animals, vegetables and minerals. In this journey there are many occasions to lose one’s way, for confusion, partial failure, even final shipwreck: many terrors, spirits, demons to be encountered, that may or may not be overcome.

He also said, “‘What you are looking for is what is looking.’ Enlightenment is not a state of mind you can create or develop. It is something beyond any change, outside of anything you can develop. After all, development suggests change.

Since there is nothing to meditate on, there is no meditation.

Since there is nowhere to go astray, there is no going astray.

Although there is an innumerable variety of profound practices, they do not exist for your mind in its true state.

Since there are no two such things as practice and practitioner, if, by those who practice or do not practice, the practitioner of practice is seen to not exist, thereupon the goal of practice is reached and also the end of practice itself.


Of course the above statements are made from a mind free from the restraints most of us live under, for as another Yogi said:

“The disciple is a being whose essential nature is Know­ledge, isn’t he?”


“Then there is no need to give him knowledge but simply to remove the veil of ignorance that hides the existent Knowledge. This, of course, is not to be done at one stroke, since the disciple is immersed in age-old ignorance and needs repeated instruction, perhaps through life after life. And what is this instruction through speech about what is beyond speech? Isn’t it like removing the cover? Ignorance conceals the pre-existent Knowledge just as water plants cover the surface of a pond. Clear away the plants and you have the water. You don’t have to create it; it is already there. Or take another example—a cataract grows on the eye and prevents a man from seeing; remove the cataract and he sees. Ignorance is the cataract. The universe is the efflorescence of the indescribable Maya, which is ignorance; yet ignorance is needed to illuminate and dissolve ignorance … Jnana is not something to be attained, it is eternal and self-existent. On the other hand, ignorance has a cause and an end. The root of it is the idea that the devotee is a separate being from God. Remove this, and what remains is Jnana. (Jnana refers to pure awareness that is free of conceptual encumbrances – See The way of Mary)”

 The Breath- Pranayama

One of the impressive observations to be found in the literature on yoga practices, yet seldom if at all in Western physiology or psychology, is the connection between the breath and the mind. Such yoga teachings state that there is always a connection between the breath and mental states. It can be observed for instance that when angry a person’s breath is agitated and quite different to when the person is mentally focused on something like a mathematical problem. There is yet another difference in the breathing and the mental state when the person is asleep.

One person who did have a clear understanding on the breath in connection with directing one’s life in present times  was Dr G. R. Heyer in his book Organism of the Mind. He writes in mentioning yoga, “Everyone who is well informed … will confirm my statement that by regulating expiration you can disclose, agitate, mobilise, and bring into or near the upper strata of consciousness, depths of the mind which analytically you could only sound in .. a number of long sittings. A man may come seemingly in fine condition, radiating self confidence, and after ten or twenty minutes breathing exercises he will be lying in front of you a wreck, weeping, wailing, disclosing to you matters he acknowledge to no one. The whole façade has suddenly collapsed, revealing the real personality”.

That was published in 1933, long before the so called new methods of Rebirthing and Holotropic Breathwork became popular. But I am not trying to point you in that direction. Having seen that unless a person has built a strong personality nothing will help to break through to the wonder of themselves. Even when we do manage a breakthrough, it still takes time to really meet all you hold. It is, after all, the natural process of our growth we are working with. Forcing it can produce difficulties like lifting heavy weights without first strengthening the muscles.

So I suggest gentle methods that strengthen you. The methods will give you personal strength without which you will not be able to avoid the resistances we have toward growth. One young woman dreamt of cutting off her breast, suggesting trying to cut out the living process that was moving her into being a full woman. So such resistances can also relate to how we try to dissociate from our own process of growth and ageing, for growth also moves us toward ageing.

The method I suggest is as follows.

The 1-4-2 Method of Breathing

With any method of controlling the breath and holding it, it causes a build up of carbon dioxide. As can be seen in recent videos of ways of controlling anxiety and panic attacks, a breathing in and out of a paper or plastic bag is suggested. This is because we breathe out carbon dioxide and so taking in what we breath out we build up our intake of it. As carbon dioxide decreases anxiety and panic it is very useful to be able to do this.

But a much better way of doing this with much deeper results is the held breath. You must realise that you are gradually changing very deeply seated habits that have been with you a lifetime. Taking hold of the breath and controlling it is like taking hold of your nervous system, or body, and gradually altering the way it responds to events and thoughts. It is a bit like taking a wild animal and gently taming it.

The method is called 1-4-2 because you start with an in-breath that you count. So if you started with an in-breath that took a count of 5 you then hold your breath for a count of 20 – that is four times the length of the in-breath. You then breath out slowly for a count of 10 – which is half the count of the held breath. Therefore a 1-4-2 count. So if your in-breath took a count of 10, four times that is 40, and half of that is 20.

To really get the results from this you must start at a low count until you are used to it, and there should be no struggle to hold your breath, only lengthening the count as you find it easy. Start with 10 minutes of the technique and work up to 20 minutes. It will really work if you do this for twenty minutes day. You will need to keep it up for three months then you will notice real change, you can then stop it and only use it if you feel the need.

This is so far the best way of dealing with stress I have used. In meeting people in the media who face a lot of stress they have told me this is a lifesaver for them. I have noticed that it also lowers blood pressure, and it tames the wild animal in us.


But if you want a way to break through the powerful hold the conscious personality has over us and can handle the results you could try the Bellows Breathing. This is the technique that Dr. Heyer wrote about – A man may come seemingly in fine condition, radiating self-confidence, and after ten or twenty minutes breathing exercises he will be lying in front of you a wreck, weeping, wailing, disclosing to you matters he acknowledge to no one. The whole façade has suddenly collapsed, revealing the real personality”. See Pandora’s Box

Many people have suggested in in their writings about bellows breathing – bhastrika, but usually it is just a few repetitions. But as Dr. Heyer said, it should be done for twenty minutes non-stop. That was the way classical yoga suggested.

Over the years I have noticed a strange human trait. For example, I came across Ron Hubbard’s writing from the early fifties. This was long before it became Scientology and a bad name, but at that time he had spelled out a way for people to change their own negative traits and find cures. It was revolutionary, for beforehand it had been only the doctors and psychiatrists who were allowed that privileged position – which was often resulted in a terrible attack on the individual.

Holotropic breathwork is another example. Dr. Heyer never renamed it, but the tendency is to give it a name associated with an individual – happened with Hubbard’s early work and has happened time again with yoga where people take a part of its huge gift and give it another name and often earn quite a living with and charge people to become teachers in it.

“Western Science is approaching a paradigm shift of unprecedented proportions, one that will change our concepts of reality and of human nature, bridge the gap between ancient wisdom and modern science, and reconcile the differences between Eastern spirituality and Western pragmatism.” Stanislav Grof


Bhakti Yoga

Devotional exercises are like the warmth that makes the unwieldy block of ice fit the jug. The water and the jug are the same as before, but the one has melted into the other. So the soul of a man melts into the awaiting presence of the eternal. While with the melting there comes the bliss of yielding to the unseen. Bhakti Yoga is the warmth and the yielding that melts the hardened soul of man into the divine love.

“As I experienced looking at the Big Bang, I realised that everything that exists is a part of that wondrous being that we call Life. There is nothing that is not of its love. So that whatever arises in the universe arises out of, and as, THAT. The human sense of God is a realisation of the very substance of our own existence. The awe we might feel is from an intuition of what has been given us as our own being.

And as that great unity of energy and consciousness died, it’s very last impulse was for those new beings that might arise from its death. The impulse that flashed out we call love. It flashed through the universe permeating its every particle, in a way that we cannot yet perceive, but which is like a touch upon the pulsating chaotic movements of particles and lives.”

This is the way of the heart, where we seek a loving relationship with Life. Therefore Bhakti is the way of relationship. It is the way for those whose deepest feelings cry out in loneliness for the loving embrace of the Divine, ending in union – the spiritual marriage. But the Bhakti does not seek through thinking of the eternal or trying to understand his fate. Neither does he try to discipline himself in the same way as in Karma or pranayama. For the Bhakti seeks firstly with his feelings of his beloved’s absence. Then he is carried forward to that which he loves by the realisation of his own imperfection standing between their union. The tears and weeping of his repentance soften his heart, and his surrender to the beloved brings the wonderful bliss of (re-union.)

Just as the appetites or disordered condition of the fat man stop him from touching his toes, even though his toes are constantly with him – so the constant living within the thinking mind of humans stops them from feeling the ever present love of God.

So often does the experience of our pain stand between us and God, that it takes the greater pain of our parting to strengthen us, making us willing to bear with the hurt of our fear. Only then, willing to experience suffering, or anything, to be with our beloved, do we run back to the arms that have always been extended. Only then is the pain, its cause, and fear of it, removed by the master’s love. For while clever words may convince us of the reasonableness of Life’s love, in our heart we may yet suspect, and lack understanding. But the Bhakti, through his experiences in life, now sees that only opening to the mystery of Life and living we can open the heart again and bring understanding.

Strange isn’t it that people don’t say, “Do you believe in the Sun?” or “Do you believe in the wind?” But they do say, “Do you believe in God?”

Belief shouldn’t come into such things as fundamental as that. You either know from personal experience or you don’t. And if you don’t know you should say so. Instead of which people assure each other, out of ‘belief’ that there is or isn’t a God. I don’t need to ‘believe’ that I exist – I know through daily experience. I don’t need to ‘believe’ God exists – I know through the same sort of daily experience. Or as Carl Jung said, “The reason we don’t know God is because we don’t know how to bow low enough.”

Perhaps I can explain that through a conversation I witnessed. A man said to a woman he was confronting, “Religion! That’s surely a direction for failures and people who can’t really cope with facing reality?”

And the woman he is accusing of this inability to face reality said, “You poor man! Is your mind or awareness so tiny that you have never realised the forces and processes of your own body and mind are beyond anything you understand? Can’t you see that your very existence is brought about by things so far beyond your knowledge that it is only a statement of your impoverishment to suggest an awareness of God is an expression of some sort of smallness and failure? Have you never understood that?

Have you not seen that religion is not only an acknowledgement of what we fail to understand and yet depend upon, but it is also an opening to it, a willingness to relate to it? It can also be something far more even than that. It can be an active loving relationship with what gives you life. And such love is an exchange, a sharing, a way of merging one with another. It is an exchange – a sharing of bodily fluids – the very substance of life.

Imagine that, a glorious love affair with the very spirit of life! A love affair with the invisible and forever indefinable. Is that something you are afraid of?”

I know God because I don’t define God as some sort of father figure in the sky who is forever wondering whether I am obeying his commands or punishing me if I don’t do as I am told. I define God as the very background to the emergence of our universe, in which we all partake and contribute. I know God because at the core of my being I am that very mystery of life, sprung from the Universe. I know God daily because I am aware of myself. I am willing to bathe in the great depths of my experience, the passions and terrors, the hurts and awfulness of my own past deeds. If you don’t know God from direct experience, it’s because you don’t open yourself wide enough to the glory and the shit, the pain and wonder of life. God isn’t an intellectual idea.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with being hurt. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

But real love cast out fear of abandonment, of other people taking the loved one away, of jealousy and the hurt of loss. For love does not grasp greedily for itself. It does not depend upon another for ‘love’ and so suffer enormous hurt if the ‘loved’ one leaves or dies.

Most of are still existing in infant or childlike love that is totally dependent upon a parent figure, and this is seen in the terrible pain that can erupt in adults who are still in the infant level of love. To actually grow into a divine lover we must first surrender our poor painful conscious self to our core self. See Ages of Love

Core Experience is an everyday part of your life. Without it your heart would not beat, your food would not digest, your immune system would collapse, and the miraculous interplay of transactions and processes that take part within your body and consciousness would cease. Nearly all of us take this for granted without acknowledging or consciously opening to it. It is fundamental to our existence. But mostly we remain unconscious of any real meeting with our core. Many of us have no sense of the wonder and transformation this experience can bring. Also there are many things about our Core that are often not understood or are misunderstood. Sometimes these factors are simply overlooked, or not recognised as being deeply important. See Core

That mysterious and wonderful process of life that brought you to birth occurred quite without your conscious effort or participation and is often shown as your core self.  You share that journey from conception to birth in kinship with all the other life forms that exist with you on this earth.  But unlike most of the other creatures you developed self-awareness and can look back on your origins.  Nevertheless, even though you have attained some level of self-awareness, the process that brought you into being still functions unconsciously within you to continue your existence. So you are in fact An Amazing Animal.

The task before one who writes of Bhakti Yoga is difficult. In so many the heart is padlocked by the opinions, and the fears that lie behind the opinions. Yet, were it not for such fears, many would be fulfilled by worshipping with all their feelings and thoughts, who now only experience a part of themselves – not on their knees but because they can no longer hold back the joy that shouts out of them, “Thank You. Thank You!!”.

How many are there who refrain from devotion due to their fears of being wrong, or being thought a fool, or of being asked more than they can give of themselves? while right or wrong their sentiments cry out for expression. How can one explain to such as these that in devotion one is not worshipping, or re-relating to some -theoretical, improbable and organisation-bound being? Devotion is an earnest and feelingfull recognition of the creative forces that are the warp and woof of one’s own self. Not only is it a recognition, but also an admission of reliance. For just as fire does not exist without oxygen and fuel, neither does our personality and consciousness exist without body and Life.

People ask, “Do you believe in God?” or, “What is God?” But these questions are quite fruitless because they arise from misconceptions and mistakes. They cannot even be answered while such misconceptions from which they arise still seem real to the questioner. What matters is that without any conscious effort at continuing the experience, we exist. What matters is that something, or somethings – beyond our present awareness or understanding cause and uphold our existence. Our existence then is a dependence upon factor(s) – unknown, and very often unacknowledged.

To the practical mind any person is a fool who does not acknowledge a dependence. For instance, a young child who does not acknowledge, even emotionally, its dependence upon parents, will soon find itself lonely, lost, hurt, misused or killed. while an adult who does not acknowledge that his physical body depends upon food, may soon starve.

It does not matter whether we think or feel that we exist because of forces in the material universe, or because of an unseen creative being. Whatever we think – that upon which we depend remains what it is. It is what it is. Our thoughts and opinions do not change it. Neither are our thoughts the thing itself. For there is a saying in Zen that a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon itself. Nor are our thoughts about that upon which our existence depends, the thing itself. So the wise one, under these circumstances, not only acknowledges dependence, but also his ignorance of that upon which he depends. Often in the East it is simply called THAT.

What do we know? For years we were taught that we were just physical beings and light was thought as the fastest one could achieve; but the sub-atomic-particles in quantum physics were seen to be everywhere at once. Also it was seen that a human observer could change the sub-atomic-particles, suggesting that we in some way create the world around us. Also the term ‘quantum ghosts’ was defined, because quantum phenomena can pass through any solid object – just as we can do when experiencing a so called out of body experience.

The implications of the quantum theorem are enormous. Something can be in two places at once. Apparently distant objects, or people, are intricately linked in an immediate way. There is no separate existence as we previously thought. Our view of the world is not one supported by the facts of physics. Time and space are transcended. David Bohm, an eminent physicist, goes as far as to say that all things in our observable universe are inextricable linked. Nothing has separate existence.

However, while our thoughts and feelings upon That neither alter it or represent an experience of it, they can either place us at variance or in harmony with it. Therefore, the hardened disposition of one who does not admit the dependence of this existence, is softened and changed by the practice of opening to That which he does not understand. In the last analysis, because we are built from and by the very forces to which we pray, we are really praying to those parts of our whole being that at present lie outside of our consciousness. But through Yoga these parts of our being gradually come to be known. For it is said that whatever the Bhakti gives his devotion to, that he becomes. See Opening to Life

It has already been said that the stages of Yoga are four, namely, Preparation-Becoming like an Empty Jar-Knowledge-Consummation. This also applies to the Bhakti Yogi.

Here is a letter from a woman who, when practising a form of Bhakti-Yoga in which she offers her whole life to God, describes the experience that followed:

‘This occurs at any time and any place and the beginning of it make me feel sleepy. It seems, it begins either at the base of the spine, or at the rectum, then travels on to the sex organs accompanied by a burning feeling, and pins and needles on the surface area. From there, it ascends to the point of the navel, then upwards to the solar plexus. One can liken its ascent to a burning hand.

At the solar plexus the heat becomes more intense, it makes my middle feel sick. Still climbing it reaches my chest, around the heart. It seems here to be groping for the very inner-most centre as if the very soul resided there. This brings forth groans. I feel like pouring forth all the love in my being.

It travels on and burns my throat, then upward to the space between my eyebrows and the bridge of my nose seems prickly. For some unknown reason I burst into tears, but as it moves upwards from there and fills a circle on the crown of my head, (and rests there indefinitely) all is peace and light.

She also says, ‘I do not appear to be guiding the power with my mind, as it seems to be strongest if I try to fix my mind on something else’.

Eileen Garratt the famous explorer of the extraordinary echoes the same opinion. She writes: ‘I have heard it said that in supernatural sensing, concentration and meditation are necessary. But this seems contrary to anything which I have learned from my own experience in clairvoyance telepathy and projection. I would say that an ease, a nonchalance about the process, are prerequisites to the production of such states.’

She says later that complete relaxation and surrender of the conscious self, allows the super conscious self to become dynamic and active at a conscious level. This exactly matches what the other woman does in ‘surrendering to God’.

Karma Yoga

Mark Twain wrote in his Autobiography, “I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.”

In brief, karma is the situation of one’s birth, its working out in the present, and the streaming influences from the past that flows into what led to the body you exist in, to what you are and the events you meet in the present. It is the outworking and action of cause and effect. And although if we look around we can see that every observable object, such as a tree, has a cause, and is the result of events in the past, we seldom apply that to our own birth, health, and life.

Most of us can see that cause comes before effect, yet we consistently refuse to see that any problems in our life arise often from long past causes. The ancient Indian culture, that spent enormous amount of time digging deep into the levels of human consciousness, realised that we are always connected with our past. I say this because a single cell, which is a seed from which all life forms evolved from, doesn’t become old or die because it is immortal, for it keeps dividing and doesn’t die. In dividing it constantly creates copies of itself, but as it does so it gathers new experience, it changes what is copied, so becomes the ‘seed’ for multi-cellular organism. We all started from the original one cell, and we, you, and I, are the result of gathered experience. See Dimensions of Human Experience

No plant or creature grows from a dead seed, and each living seed carries within it all the past gathered from all its forebears. So, the seed in your mother’s womb is as old as and even older than human kind, and you carry that wisdom or memories in you. But in this life you developed a new brain, and the memories, education, and programming you gathered this time are what you built your personality from, but beneath that is a very ancient self.

Finding this very ancient self, hidden as it is by all your personal thinking and opinions, you find you are free from all the painful emotions, suicidal urges and personal hurts. To explore it see Opening to Life

As an example, one morning my wife Brenda woke and told me she had dreamt about the baby of two of our friends. The friends, who I will call Jane and Bob, were living about 200 miles from us. We knew Jane was pregnant, and about a week or so before the dream we had received a short letter saying their baby, a boy, had been born. We didn’t have a telephone at the time, so the letter was our only means of communication.

In the dream Brenda saw the baby and a voice from behind her told her the child was ill. Its illness, she was given to understand, was serious, and would need to be treated with a drug taken every day of the child’s life. The reason for this illness and the drug use, she was told, was because in a past life the being now born as the baby had committed suicide using a drug.

I didn’t take the dream seriously, thinking it was some sort of personally symbolic dream. But we couldn’t seem to extract any personal meaning for Brenda, so just in case I sent an account of the dream to Jane and Bob. About a week later we had a letter from them saying that the letter and dream had crystallised their already existing anxiety about the baby. It had not been feeding well and was fretful. On taking it to the doctor nothing definite could be found but special tests were made in hospital. From these it was discovered the baby was dying. It lacked an enzyme that was needed to digest calcium. To compensate it was given a drug, which it has had to take every day of its life to make up for the lacking enzyme.

It didn’t happen to somebody else who reported it to me. I witnessed every step of it. Recently I met the baby of that dream again. He is now a man of 35, and still needing the daily drug.

This explains the other aspect of Karma – Reincarnation. The cause and the long term effect are there.

In today’s thinking we tend to believe that our DNA is the regulating influence in our life. But that only deals with our physical potential and does not deal with the whole flow of what is covered by the term karma. See ProgrammedThe Nature versus Nurture DebateArchetype of the Paradigm

Karma is a Sanskrit word and Wikipedia defines it as: “Karma is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward. Karma simply deals with what is. The effects of all deeds actively create past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one’s own life, and the pain and joy it brings to oneself and others. In religions that incorporate reincarnation, karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well.”

That spirit, of which you and I only reflect a small part, when we die will absorb the lessons of this life. At some other period that spirit will dip into human life again. But at a practical level people often ask why they cannot remember past lives. The answer is very obvious from many points of view. Firstly our present personality has been formed a great deal by the influences of parents and culture, but also the memories of today’s person are held in the brain, so a great gulf exists between the present and what is held in the unconscious unless one has learnt to transcend such limitations. But we all suffer from enormous amnesia because we cannot remember our babyhood or birth. I believe this is because adult memory is often word or imagery based, but babies have memory that is feeling, and intense emotions based. See Programmed

An example of a man experiencing the effects of premature birth

“I cry like a baby. The question burns in me – Why is life like this? I cry again. Then I realise that being born prematurely I was too small and undeveloped even to be able to cry properly, so I couldn’t let out my misery. It is such a relief to cry now and be understood, to have known what I felt at that terrible time.

“Now I am aware of my connection with my stream of life having been broken – the umbilical cord. What I realise as the adult watching this, is that because of its proximity to the genitals, there is an unconscious connection made between the genitals and the connection I seek to sustain my life. So even as a baby I am reaching for that connection with my genitals. I want to be fed. I attempt to reconnect through my genitals, but the pain of the separation is so acute even when I do try in adulthood, the pain of the separation turns me back. This is the story of the Garden of Eden. I was in the garden and was cast out. Now when I attempt to return, an angel with a burning sword turns me back. Not only was it painful every time I attempted reconnection, but I had the unconscious expectation to be fed, to be nourished. Instead of that every time I had sex I felt cheated, deceived, and betrayed. I was not fed, but deeply sucked dry of what small nourishment I had managed to build up. I wasn’t fed, I was fed upon by a predator. Each sexual act was a betrayal, a predation, and a torturous pain. Yet I had to find my way to the garden again, because there lay the secret of my genesis and myself. So, I would return, to be wounded once more. It is even painful to look back on those years of misery now. Why is life so painful?”

For all of us, the past influences the present, whether that be in society or personally. So there are aspects of people who lived in the past that influence this life. But there is a way of thinking about this that I believe makes it reasonably straightforward. It doesn’t seem to be a mysterious thing, and I don’t know why people make of it such a mystery.

The picture of the tree is of an oak tree. It has the DNA allowing it to grow into a massive tree, but because it grew on the edge of a cliff where powerful winds hit it, it has adapted to its environment

If you look at a tree, you can see it incorporates many, many past trees. It didn’t suddenly emerge out of a vacuum, out of nothing. It has its present existence out of what existed in the past. Of course, because in our culture we are still labouring under the world view that the atom is the fundamental particle or material in the universe, we still see ourselves and the tree as simply a physical process. All our calculations about this leave out the factor of consciousness. Even trees have a form of sentience. They respond to light, to weather conditions, to their environment.

According to David Attenborough, the famous biologist, “Plants can see…count and communicate with one another…react to touch and estimate time.” These claims are supported by the facts that plants turn towards the light, and even prepare themselves for sunrise by facing east in anticipation; trigger hairs on plants react to touch; there is even a social element in plant behaviour in that they fight enemies for territory and compete for mates in order to ensure the survival of the species.

Did you suddenly gain the type of awareness, perceptions, concepts you have suddenly in the here and now? Of course you didn’t. Thousands of people pre-existed you who gave words, concepts skills that have together formed who you are. There are ideas, longings, weaknesses, and blindness of which you are a very particular mixture. As you gain insight into yourself you begin to see these influences form the past more clearly. You are part of a stream of influence flowing through history.  See Integration – Meeting yourself The Conjuring Trick

Karma yoga is therefore a way of living the events and circumstance of your life without malice or anger at the difficulties you meet in life. You see such difficulties as the out workings of things done in past times, and dealing with them patiently is a way of wiping out things done in the past that are underlying your present life situations. Also the joy you meet you realise is not a reward for good actions but is the basic level of your being becoming known.

In Yoga is the statement that we are all Sachidananda – or Sat-cit-ananda which is a descriptive term or description of the subjective experience of the ultimate unchanging reality, called Brahman. The term means that we are basically Being, Consciousness and Bliss.

This is the very heart or basis of Yoga thought:

I am of the nature of consciousness.
I am made of consciousness and bliss.
I am nondual, pure in form, absolute knowledge, absolute love.
I am changeless, devoid of desire or anger, I am detached.
I am One Essence, unlimitedness, utter consciousness.
I am boundless Bliss, existence and transcendent Bliss.
I am the Atman, that revels in itself.
I am the Sacchidananda that is eternal, enlightened and pure.

Your Body is a Work of Art

In your life, the stream of Life has bubbled up from under the surface again. It carries particular influences, minerals, qualities, from the past. Therefore I don’t believe you are a reincarnation of a particular being. But you are the working out, the continuation of things, experiences from the past.

If we look at a painting, we see certain colours on it. That particular painting exists because of the texture, the minerals, the earth and chemicals that go into the paint or ink used. It is also a result of the movements, the skill the artist has put into it. It is an incorporation of all those things and many other things not mentioned. It is also an expression of the light that falls on it. Without the light it is not apparent. In different lighting conditions it will change its character in some way.

So the painting is partly an expression of a human being and their qualities and skills; it is partly an expression of the chemicals and minerals and surfaces involved. As such it is an extraordinary thing. When we look at it we are witnessing all that goes into it. Maybe we don’t realise it; perhaps we don’t see everything that composes it. Maybe we don’t realise that in its present form it has substances from when the earth was young, that its atoms are from the beginning of time, or that the canvas it is on was formed by the effort t of several people not even consciously known by the artist. And of course, the painting is unique. There will never be a painting exactly like that. A copy might appear on the surface as the same, but there will never be quite the same mixture of minerals, chemicals, movements, human qualities, that entered into the painting. All of this applies to a human person.

Our body is just such a work of art. It is an extraordinary blending of an enormous number of processes, age old elements, past influences, and people. The influence is not just from our parents, but our forebears going back into prehistory. There is also the powerful influence of the time and period in history in which we are born and the periods prior to it that formed the culture we are born into. The culture we live in weaves itself into who and what we become. A child born in today’s world will be influenced by the extraordinary number of chemicals and additives, medicines and drugs, alcohol and nicotine, that are part and parcel of life today. They are all factors that go into the make up of who the person is and becomes. They are the chemicals in the ‘paint’ of personality. And remember that the light falls on a particular surface/painting/you. The personality that shines out if your whole life has been given to drinking alcohol and taking pain killers, or eating machine made foods, would be different to someone who has cared for their body – the painting and all it includes in its materials will be different.

Then there are the unique events and circumstances of that individual’s life. The people met, the relationships encountered, the opportunities and traumas that events bring. All of those factors are like the paint, the surface, the artistry, and skill that go into producing a painting. The uniqueness of those factors reflects very particular colours in the light that is our life. The art is partly your reaction to events and whether you meet them well, for in that is your creation of your karma/todays experience.

Of course this is an analogy, but I think it is a useful one. Light has in it every conceivable colour. It is the surface that the light falls on that brings out qualities. So it is the uniqueness of our body and mind, our central being, that bring qualities out of the infinite possibilities of life. Innate in the forms of life are all the lessons and experiences it has gathered through unimaginable number of lives and creatures. The surface our body provides draws out of that infinite potential very particular qualities. We are the person we become because of the blending of all those unique factors.

How can anything in the present avoid being influence and formed out of factors from the past?

Everything in the present, whether it relates to agriculture, politics, religion or art, has arisen out of past influences and things learned. People see that and of course recognise their present life and feelings are connected with their immediate family and culture. What they often fail to see is that there are influences existing in them from the far past. So we can say that the present is an incarnation of the past in a new form. How is it we can’t say that I am an incarnation of the past in a new form? We are not an incarnation of a tiny bit of the past, but a whole spectrum of it.

So the wonder of this is not that you or I are a reincarnation of a particular past personality, but that we are an expression of something that has always existed and carries past experience and possibly wisdom.

Example: It began after a father-son bonding trip to the Cavanaugh Flight Museum outside of Dallas. Bruce picked up a video of the Blue Angels navy flight exhibition team for his 2-year-old son, James, who had become instantly enamoured with the jet fighters in high speed formation.

However, soon afterwards James began to smash his toy airplanes repeatedly into the coffee table screaming that the aircraft was on fire. It was then that the nightmares began. His mother Andrea would find her son thrashing around on the bed letting out blood curdling screams, shouting, ‘Airplane crash on fire! Little man can’t get out!’

The disturbing nightmares were physical too, with James kicking upwards on his bed as if trying to kick open the canopy from inside an aircraft.

It was over a bedtime story that James suddenly began talking to his parents about the nightmares, turning them from night terrors to lucid details and conversations.

James told his staunchly Christian parents, that he was flying a Corsair during the Second World War and that the Japanese shot him down. ‘Mama, before I was born, I was a pilot, and my airplane got shot in the engine and it crashed in the water and that’s how I died.’

He told his parents he flew off a carrier called the USS Natoma Bay and his name was James and that he had died during in a horrific plane crash. The growing implications of what their son was telling them began to trouble the religious beliefs of Bruce and Andrea. When James was two-and-a-half he was sitting on his father’s knee going through a book on the Battle for Iwo Jima.

Opening the book to a picture of Mount Suribachi, James exclaimed, ‘That’s where my plane was shot down. My airplane got shot down there daddy.’ James began to draw disturbing pictures of fiery plane crashes – Dr Tucker believes this kind of compulsive repetition had all the hallmarks of how children deal with PTSD.

Bruce in particular wanted to get to the bottom of his son’s insistence that he was indeed describing the past lives of a downed pilot named James. He attended a reunion for USS Natoma Bay veterans under the ruse of writing a book and was stunned to discover the only pilot killed during the Iwo Jima operation was a 21-year-old from Pennsylvania named James Huston.

James Leininger with his parents Andrea and Bruce

Further unnerving research revealed that Huston’s plane had been hit in the nose and lost its propeller – exactly where James had intentionally damaged all his toy planes.

As their belief in their son’s extraordinary claims grew, Bruce and Andrea began to take what he said seriously. One night Andrea said that she was told by James that his past-life father was an alcoholic and when James Huston was 13, they put their drunken dad in hospital for six weeks.

By now they had tracked down Huston’s sister Anne, who was in her 80s by now and asked her if these claims were true – which she confirmed. More staggering coincidences began to occur. James knew details that no four-year-old or even 40-year-old would know about the operational details of a Second World War fighter.

He knew that Corsairs were notorious for getting flat tires and when handed a model of the FM-2 planes he would fly aboard the USS Natoma Bay he noted that a small antenna was missing from the side, which research by his father noted to be true.

The most incredible moment though was when James attended his first USS Natoma Bay reunion. There he was stopped in the hallway of the hotel by Bob Greenwalt, a Natoma Bay veteran. When he asked, ‘Do you know who I am?’ James replied, ‘You are Bob Greenwalt.’ Asked how he knew that by his father, James replied that he simply remembered the man’s voice.

Indeed, after that, back at home in Dallas, James was sweeping the front lawn with his dad when Bruce bent down to hug his son and tell him that he loved him. James replied that when he saw Bruce and Andrea eating dinner in Hawaii on Waikiki Beach he knew that these were the right parents for him.

Bruce still has no idea how his son knew about the romantic trip he and his wife went on to start their family – before James was born. After this he was invited to Japan where he was shot down and was honoured by the Japanese officials who said he was obviously a reincarnation because he knew so much about them.

Read more: – See: Opening to LifeLife’s Little Secretsreincarnation and dreams.


Dreams – the Royal Road to Wider Awareness

I know because I travelled it and arrived.

Dreams at their base are about integration, about truly finding parts of yourself that are missing. Someone recently told me that in a business exercise a participant felt she was schizophrenic, and it troubled her. Yet the word simply means there is a split in the way we relate to the life that we are. That is quite amusing because most of us are so cut off from knowing who or even what we are, that we are all, according to the definition, schizophrenic.

If you have read the account of Jesse Watkins experience in the chapter ‘Yoga’, you will see that Jesse met his whole self, although it was awful for him. The whole self was the realisation that he, and each one of us, has existed in one form or another from the beginning of life on this Earth. Our dreams introduce us to those many levels, animals, personal aspects of our life but gently, not as happened to Jesse.

Firstly dreams start to show us the barriers in the way of extending our awareness. Our awareness is usually trapped in only being conscious of what our eyes can see, and our ears hear, but our eyes are only sensitive to 1% of visible light, and our ears only 1% of audible sound, so we are almost blind and deaf. In wider awareness you leave the limited view of the three-dimensional world most of us are trapped in and enter a world beyond what we knew before. So, forget the clumsy explanations of telepathy and precognition, for they are explanations arising from only what the body’s limited senses show us.

Travelling into the depths of the mind, which what wider awareness is, is often depicted as climbing a mountain or going into a deep cave, or even diving in the sea, and is not an uncommon experience in dreams, and is described even in ancient myths and folklore. To get some insight into what it can be like to experience it, it is helpful to think of our personality, our experience of being awake and knowing who we are, as being like water in a goldfish bowl.

The water has a shape given it by the restrictions of the bowl. If it had awareness it might say it was round. If we poured the water into the sea or a river however, the person the water knew itself as might feel it was dying as its boundaries melted away. Similarly, like most of us, we only know life through the limitations of our body senses and through the things we had been brought up to believe. We probably believe we ARE the shape of our body, and we can only do what it can do. However, as can be seen from the lives of some of the people who have extended their awareness, our mind can sometimes reach completely beyond the body senses. When we first find the narrow walls of our senses disappearing, most of us feel some panic, and may fear we are dying. Some people having an anaesthetic feel this fear.

Imagine you are going to communicate with a part of yourself that has an unlimited amount of information and influence to share with you. What this dimension of yourself gives you will be in direct response to what you ask. So, the question, interest, or urgent drive in you will be the factor shaping the response. Therefore, it is occasionally worth asking what the right question is to get effective help. Remember that all you receive must pass through your own body, your emotions and your mind. YOU are the instrument that transforms the communication into understandable experience. If your body is full of tensions and drugs there will obviously be interference. If your emotions are taut with anxiety, or your mind is flooded with disbelief, or old beliefs about what you are capable of, there will be blockages. If your mind is rigid in its opinions, locked into habits of thought, you will need to practise listening and receiving. Even if you can be ready to drop these for a few moments the channel can clear.

You can use the keyboard condition or listening skills, which is something that enables us to enter the unconscious and our wider awareness. It is something we have to learn to get into the deeps of our Inner World/unconscious. To do it we need to imagine our body and mind is now like a keyboard and the keys of our body and mind are no longer fixed but are capable of even gentle touches playing the keys. This is a way to allow your huge self to be able to wake you up to a new world. To do this we need to ‘hang loose’. So apart from attitudes, the first step of practice is to learn a form of relaxation in which our body has dropped unnecessary tension and is like a keyboard ready to be played. See Listening Skills

I find it helps if we create something of this feeling consciously, holding our body, our emotions, our sexuality, mind and memories as if they were keys upon which the inner dramatist can play. In a sense we are seeking to create a condition similar to sleep. As we fall asleep we let go of our control over what we think, what we do with our body, and what we fantasy. Our ‘I’, our decision making self has relaxed and left the stage free for the dream maker to create its realisations. So in approaching our Core we need to take on a similar relaxed state without actually going to sleep. Dreams are not as healing as allowing the dream process to work consciously, mostly because we do not consciously co-operate and agree with the dreams. It therefore does not integrate as fully with our waking self.

The beginning

Dreams are about integrating the many aspects we are. When we integrate or digest something, whether it is an idea, something we have read or learned, it has to be first surrendered to the life process. We can see this in our body – it is first chewed and swallowed, then broken down into parts and the useful stuff, the building stuff, can be taken into us and the rest is passed out. The important thing is that even if it is dead or living food, it is transformed into our own living being – in other words our living understanding. It is the building blocks of you. If it has not been transformed through digestion it is like something dead inside us. But to be capable of such digestion we must swallow the experience and allow our unknown self to do its work

Also few of us realise we have a reptilian and mammalian brain built into us and underlying our human brain, nevertheless we do. The reptilian brain is what give us the fight or flight response, the territorial response that causes so much conflict in some countries, the panic attacks we suffer, and it is also behind our sexual response. See Levels of the Brain

Those responses were not learned in this lifetime, but are there nevertheless, even though we cannot remember them or even talk about them unless we have learnt about them in some way. This suggests we have part of us we call ‘me’ our personality, which only has partial memory, and also an instinctive part of us which we often call the unconscious which has an enormous memory.

But most of us have not recognised these animal drives in us, let alone integrated them. Yet thousands of us are lured by adverts with a sexual agenda to buy, or even are possessed by the idea that they need better sexual equipment or even have massive plastic surgery to keep up with the Jones’s. Then there are the countless millions who are possessed by their animal instinct to eat and are tremendously overweight. But dreams show us that often we are frighten or run from meeting the animal in us, or perhaps suffer ‘panic attacks.’ It shows a conflict we have with our own nature, and how we are denying ourselves valuable abilities.

From this we can see that we are not really a whole person consciously, and so are quite vulnerable. The uncountable number of people on antidepressants, alcoholics and addicts show our vulnerability, as well as the enormous social and international conflicts. We also meet the challenge of and possibility of emerging into some level of adulthood. See The Conjuring TrickAges of Love

In that amazing journey we have collected a lot of personal memories and a lot of experience stimulated by our unconscious, but have we integrated it? Integration means meeting it, becoming aware of it, digesting it and becoming more mature and creative because of it. We become more creative because we have integrated and understood more of ourselves, and therefore more about others and the world. But even the memories we have may not be integrated, because we naturally avoid pain and fear. I am not talking about physical pain which or course is wise to take care of, but emotional pain and fear. See Digest

For years I had a long battle with the effects of the animal aspect of me. I also faced fear and suffered depression, sexual misery, and awful pains in my chest. I went to the doctor to see what these were about and was told there was nothing wrong with me, but that I was working too hard and was prescribed a tranquilliser, which I never used. Instead I wanted to find my way through what was actually causing the problems I had. It took years because I didn’t know the way. But I was persistent and tried all manner of things and succeeded and will try to describe what I found.

What I found transformed my life. It wasn’t easy to find, and it has some difficult stretches to navigate, but even so I felt I had discovered a WONDER – of course people had found it earlier in history, and in different cultures they gave it different names like Shaktipat in India, Pentecost 2000 years ago, Mesmerism in the 17th century, and Seitai in Japan. But many times, looking back, it was quickly stamped out or radically changed making it ineffective. I believe this was because it involved a radical change in themselves and in their approach to life. And such changes are totally beyond belief to many, and the old sick way of life and the world quickly claims them.

My Own Experience

I will start with my own experience of meeting pain and fear because I do not wish to use second hand experience. My experience might not be what you see in yourself, but there is plenty of common ground. It was a nightmare that started my journey, though at the time I was so terrified I couldn’t face the fear.

A friend had recently visited my wife and I and had asked if the house was haunted. A couple of nights later I dreamt that my wife was asleep beside me, and I was sitting up in bed with my friend’s words in mind. So I challenged any such ghost to show themselves, feeling I could handle them. Nothing happened so I lay down thinking I had solved the problem – there were no ghosts.

Quite soon afterwards, still dreaming, the sound of a door creaking open made me sit up. Then from behind me two black men who looked as if they had risen out of a grave with flesh peeling off them approached me. I quickly made the sign of the cross and said some sort of holy words and the figures disappeared. I lay back again thinking it was a good thing I knew how to get rid of them. But as soon as I settled to sleep again the door creaked open and the two figures appeared once more. This time all my hand waving and words had no effect on their advance, and their hands closed around my throat, and I woke screaming in terror. My wife, feeling my fear, got up and we switched on all the lights.

That was about 1958, and as I knew nothing about exploring dreams I did nothing about it. But soon afterwards I started practicing yoga. I realise looking back that it was the pranayama, the breathing control and fasting that were part of what worked and helped me to meet what was behind the nightmare.  I could see that each of these were ways of struggling with our instinctive drives. The fasting was meeting our drive to constantly eat, the breath control was like taking hold of a deeply seated life process governed by the unconscious.

Using it you can gradually change very deeply seated habits that have been with you a lifetime. Taking hold of the breath and controlling it is like taking hold of your nervous system, or body, and gradually altering the way it responds to events and thoughts. It is a bit like taking a wild animal and gently taming it. There should be no force or conflict involved. Gradually you will see that your way of dealing with, or responding to, difficult emotions, fears and stressful events, is changing. You feel more able to meet difficulties, allowing you to grow as a person, and be more creative. See The Slow Breath

Of course it took me four years to understand that and see the results. The first sign was a dream and by that time I had started exploring my dreams. In the dream I was on an underground train – metro – at the end of a long carriage with no door where I was. But I needed to get off at the next stop. As I started to walk toward the door and there were two black men standing in the way blocking me. I said excuse me and one of them moved to let me pass but the other made no move. So I asked again, explaining that I needed to get off. Still he made no move to let me pass so I pushed past him and arrived at the central doors. But the man I had pushed past rushed me with hands going for my throat. I was quick though and caught his hands and slowly forced them down. As I did this I had the realisation that the strength I now had was because of yoga. I was now stronger than him. But of course I was still suffering the conflict shown by the man reaching for my throat, but I had gained strength to deal with it.

The dream was tremendous feedback. It showed I was still in the unconscious – beneath the ordinary awareness in the underground – but was trying to get out to the surface, but there was still a conflict – fight – in the way. The black men were no longer from the grave and were normal, but one aspect was still going for my throat, an area of self-expression and vulnerability. What had terrified me now I seemed capable of meeting, though I still had a conflict.

At that time I still did not know exactly what had terrified me because I still had not escaped from the unconscious/instinctive influence. But a few years later after finding what I call LifeStream I had another dream that ended the conflict, so it had taken seven years to reach it.  See Life’s Little Secrets

I dreamt I belonged to a Quaker meeting, but the Meeting had lost the contact with God. Three of us decided to practice the out and out surrender handing our being over to the Highest in us. We cleared the chairs out so that things were no longer as of old. Then we sat waiting on the unseen. Almost immediately my hands began to move without my conscious effort, as if blessing me. At this point some of the old members came in, were shocked to see the changes. Suddenly my chair rushed out in front of the group, I thought maybe I would be `moved’ to speak. But the chair, carrying me just kept on circling the group of people at high speed. I relaxed, letting it happen. Then my chair stopped in front of the group, I thought I would now be moved to speak, but still did not. I think I tried to make myself be `moved’ to speak, because I felt there were important things to be said, but I realised I was trying too hard and surrendered. After a while, a voice did boom through me, of me, yet moved from outside my normal consciousness. Then it finished and we all went out. A coloured man, who was a member of the meeting, had witnessed all this, came up to me. He was sincerely impressed, yet doubtful also. He asked me if I had made it all happen, I answered “No”. He said he could not understand how to do it. I said, “Just wait”. He said, “But how will you know it is God etc.?” I explained that he would know as surely as he knows it is me touching him now. He then said that he would come, and we would `wait’ together.

My understanding of ‘waiting’ at the time came from Eliots words:

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope  

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love  

For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith  

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.  

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:  

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.  

This dream was my first real experience of integration, for the terror I had screamed myself awake from had now been met, understood, and was dealt with – not as a conqueror, but as one who was ready to learn and love. It had taken me years to meet what were my own terrors. And what I gradually uncovered was that the terror was about my own sexual urges that I had forcefully buried because my mother had screamed at me that if I masturbated I would die – This was in the 1940’s when TB was everywhere, and it was common knowledge that the disease caused the sexual urges to become overwhelming. Those black men were my own natural urges that I had repressed and pushed into the grave of my unconscious; natural urges that I had turned inwards against myself. I even more slowly realised that there is nothing evil in our inner world, but forces in us that have been turned in a direction that is negative causing all manner of ill feelings, depression, and neurosis. All the holy words and magic movements cannot protect us from meeting ourselves and what we have done to ourselves.

We are all mammals that as babies were born natural as wild animals, and these natural creatures – ourselves as babies – were programmed by language, culture and beliefs that have twisted many of us into sick or incomplete and ill creatures – how many are suffering mental illness, depression and anxiety. We have been exposed to cultures of domination of the many by the few, to belief systems that label us all as sinners, and in need of something that is promised but not delivered; to a way of life that makes women and men work all their life to pay off debt for a home that a rabbit can gain for a few hours of work and can be a communal effort. What is wrong with us? See ProgrammedEmployee Ownership

I will try to give a picture in what follows of what dreams did for me.

I started a dream Journal on December 24th, 1966.

A little later I dreamt I went into hospital as a patient. The Sister, as she led me to the ward, explained that in this hospital, they would get me 100 percent fit. The ward into which she led me was mixed – male and female. Once in there, I realised that besides being treated myself, it was my task to treat, through love and interest, the other inmates. That was dreamed on January 24th, 1967. It was a prophetic dream in two ways, the healing and that I would work alongside others in helping them. In 1966 I had no idea of that. And when we did start groups it was all donations only not to earn money. Also I always joined in by doing the techniques myself not being a Leader

In this healing process however, I realised that the sick parts within us need be healed by the understanding and love of my conscious mind and actions. Amazing that my desire to get well was already beginning although a lot was asked of me too.

Just after that on January 25th I dreamt I was on a road and noticed that a magnificent elephant had appeared. It had enormous tusks and ears, the latter being powdered with blue dust and adding tremendously to its impact. As it was coming in my direction I was frightened and began to run. I ran off the road, over a fence into a field. I thought the elephant would be stopped by the fence. It wasn’t. It walked straight through it after me. Then I tried to climb a low bank back to the road. The elephant was drawing nearer, and I was so frightened I could hardly move to climb the bank. The elephant caught hold of me, and I suddenly realised it wasn’t going to destroy me, but wanted, despite it being a magnificent and powerful beast, to sit me on its back. I was still frightened however and ran to a doctor’s surgery. The elephant came and, thrusting its trunk into the surgery, drew me out to it.

This dream has given me a wonderful feeling of expectancy all day. Unlike most of my dreams, I find myself thinking about it most of the time. But a few days later I dreamt I see the elephant fixed by harnessed to other elephants. He catches my scent, and with terrible power charges along a narrow riverbank that is at the back of dwelling houses. Two other elephants are dragged helplessly with him, but all, by some miracle, stay on the ledge, though his rush is frightening to watch.

I notice that he has brushed past a large beer barrel so fast and heavily, that it is smoking from friction. He comes to the rear of the public house and stops. I, with two others, enter the front of the pub. It is old and long out of use, rubbish and rubble lying everywhere. Over the rubble, from the rear, the elephants trunk reaches out for me, and we touch with real love, and unafraid.

These dreams may seem unusual for many dreamers who have more mundane or frightening dreams, but it has to be remembered that at 13 I started to attempt to grow psychologically and from 18 years old spent nine years in the Rosicrucian Order.

Here is a great dream experience that was a tremendous influence and guidance.

I was walking across open moorland, followed by a crowd of people. I was their leader and was supposed to be leading them to ‘Salvation/God’. The only thing was, I had no idea in which direction salvation lay. We came to a barbed-wire fence and stopped. I was considering the best place to cross when I noticed a rabbit beyond the fence. My dog was with me and leapt on the rabbit to kill it as in previous dreams, but this time the rabbit fought back and bit his foot, and he stood back respectfully, as he would if a cat clawed him. I now saw that the rabbit had turned into a huge and powerful hare, with four pink furry babies. Then the hare spoke to me, saying, “Where are you going?”

I told him we were looking for salvation. He listened and then quietly said, “Turn back. Go back to whence you came.” At this I became irritable and said, who was he to tell us what to do. There were so many so-called authorities telling people how to discover truth, and yet most of them either disagreed or hadn’t found it themselves.

The hare looked at me and suddenly disappeared. Then, in a few moments it reappeared. This impressed me tremendously. I felt it was a sign of complete self-mastery, and knew the hare was the master. He then said again, “Go back, and carry on with your accustomed tasks. Do not wildly seek the Kingdom of Heaven, for you already have what you seek within you. Your seeking only hides it.”

Then we all turned around and went back to our village, and carried on our usual tasks, knowing that in time, we would realise our heaven – find Self within us and not outwardly but through growing.

I knew what the Hare was because I had grown up in my early years in the countryside and had experiences of hares being completely hidden until you almost step on them and suddenly they leap up – as does any intuitive experience. Also hares were known by other cultures as one’s intuition.

Until this dream I had spent enormous amounts of time doing extreme forms of yoga and meditation. The message was to give up and live a normal life, so it was a very difficult thing to do. It took me many years to learn that life experiences are not trying to hurt or trick us but are there to learn from. For the results you face in the present are all the past events and actions that are the result of what you did, often unknowingly, in the past – it is all cause and effect.

Blaming oneself is as negative as blaming someone else. Seeing that effect follows from a cause is simply a way of learning how to bring about real and satisfying change in your life. It is a way of seeing result as a feedback of information as effects are from causes, the unexpected does arise, but if we really trace its details we might still discover the flow of cause and effect. Why do so many people suffer cancer or mental illness or being born with malformed bodies?

Here is an example of cause and effect: I had not been able to eat apples lately, because for the past few months, if I ate apples I suffered strong acid indigestion. Something seems wrong with my digestive system anyway, as I have had acid indigestion, pains, and now piles. As I tried to explore why this was the words then came, “Eat not.” I had a strong feeling this was the forbidden to Eve apple, and in some old way, this was what I felt. As I explored I saw that the indigestion was caused by being offered an apple one day by a woman I was in love with but had a tremendous conflict with because I was married. Realizing the connection rid me of indigestion whenever I eat an apple and have in fact being able to eat them without ill effects since this realisation.

But a better example of cause and effect I already mentioned in – On taking the baby to the doctor nothing definite could be found but special tests were made in hospital. From these it was discovered the baby was dying. It lacked an enzyme that was needed to digest calcium. To compensate it was given a drug, which it has had to take every day of its life to make up for the lacking enzyme. The reason for this illness and the drug use, she was told in my wife’s dream, was because in a past life the being now born as the baby had committed suicide using a drug.

Dreams are much more than strange fantasies of the night. They show us truths we are either too frightened to face, or we have lost the contact we had with our inner world where we have the full ability to see and her – for in daily life we are only capable of seeing 1% of visible light and hearing only 1% of audible sound. See Inner World

Prophecy is another of dreams remarkable functions and can lead you to a fuller and harmonious life.

I dreamt I was with a woman dwarf in a building. The woman dwarf had features that, even in the dream, reminded me of someone. On waking I realise it was the dwarf woman who played the ‘medium’ in the film Poltergeist. Once in the room with her I felt more strongly that I had known her for many years. She told me she was going to look in her crystal ball to tell me what she could see for me. I realise the woman has never been made love to, and I felt compassion and love for her. I pick her up and hold her lovingly. I do not have an awareness of penetrating her sexually, but the charge of sexual feelings flowed into her. She transforms into a beautiful female, and I know she will always love me – be a haven of love. She has a sister or friend in the room, also a dwarf. She is more difficult to love but I manage it. She transforms into a more native woman.

My beautiful friend looks into the crystal. It is not a thing made of glass, but a great dimension of mind which appears to open in the room, hanging in the centre of it, about eight feet across. She tells me I am already touching something that is beginning to happen in the world. My life will become involved in it. I will play my part – by no means, a key person or leader, but one that I will gain great satisfaction and love from.

It was dreamt on 30th August 1991, when I was trying ways of communicating what I had learnt from the experiences I had in the inner world. Years have passed since then and what my beautiful female told me has been true. I never became a great name, but I have and still do gain great satisfaction every day.

The next dream was not quite prophecy, but it did lead to discovering much of my past.

May 11th, 1970 – A headmaster called me into his study. He showed me a top to something like a small Buddha figure. I realised that it was mine, and I had lost it without even realising it. I tried to remember the details of having owned it but could not. The headmaster did not give it to me. He then took me to a room with a bed in it. On the ceiling were marks from ejaculations. I then recreated the scene and saw Les on the bed in sexual abandon.

I felt the dream suggested that in the long past part of what I carry from that past was that the Buddha state had been realised as so many other had but the me that lived that life had used it to experience sex with many women without caring for them.

You might see this as fantasy, but cause and effect are never non active, and in this life I lived the effects.

“It is difficult too, when you have a penis evident between your legs, to believe that in some way it has been ripped off, dismembered, pinched. How could it have been taken while it is still there? Some people still walk around but they are dead. When you walk past some of the elderly in clothes freshly worn from the dry cleaners, who smell of talcum powder, who’s hair is so neatly barbered, who’s body looks as if it is laundered several times a day, don’t you ever feel fear? Don’t you have a suspicion they are actually already dead? The ability to love and hate has gone from them. The living impulse that could make them snarl or defy someone, to do something outrageous or splendid has gone. So my penis – no, the full longing, the beautiful belly lusting hunger – had been crippled.

I could fuck, just like the walking dead can walk. I fathered children. But without a living penis I hated sex. It always made me feel how dead I was, and how frightened of death. There were terrible days. Being castrated and left to wander in public was a pillory I didn’t feel I deserved. It was all the more cruel because I still had the physical member which led me to hope, to try again, to meet death, and run once more. The descriptions in books about sex seemed clear enough. You kissed, you fondled, you became excited, and you joined bodies until there was a climax. It all seemed straightforward, it happened just like in the book, or the film, yet death came again. Continually I was exploded into fragments. I wept. Perhaps there was something I didn’t understand, or something hidden I hadn’t seen.”

But dreams led me to experience the past more directly, I have been told that remembering past lives is not to be taken seriously because memory has ben shown to be unreliable in some cases. But I didn’t remember, I lived them directly.

But there is another situation that one can be fooled by, it is by interpretation. This can apply to dreams as well as direct experiences. While I had been using life I was very confused what all this meant. At first I wondered whether it represented a fight between myself and God over my sexual feelings, because I curled up to hide my sexual organs, and felt exposed when uncurled again. But it went on from their, and I realised I was tied down now on a bed or surface, face up. Someone seemed to be trying to assault me homosexually. I screamed and then, cursing and struggling, kicking them away with my legs. Over and over I shouted out, “Fucking no! Fuck off!”

At this point it all seemed so recent, as if a veil would fall and I would suddenly remember it having taken place some time in my late teens. I felt I had been tied down and homosexually assaulted, and it was so real I wondered whether I had repressed the whole memory of it. But again it developed. Now the sexual assault had finished. I was still tied down. The person or persons approached me. I screamed at them through clenched teeth, “You filthy bastard. You fucking bastard. Fucking bastard.” I called out to God to help me, “Please help me. Please God help me. Please!”

Now I am suddenly in another environment completely, though I have a distinct sense of connection. It is perhaps the man who had phoned me who now leads me into a public meeting place, a rather old fashioned hall, where a small group of men, about fifteen or twenty, are seated informally near one wall. There is a clear impression to me that they are Middle Eastern, Turkish perhaps, or some of them are, very direct and masculine. I am led in front of them and stand alone. I am starting to explain to them about the unconsciousness and am taking my coat off as they say to me one word – Test. This refers to the testing in Subud, as the group are members of a spiritually oriented organisation. As I am still talking and taking my coat off they laugh at my incompetence. They have asked me to Test – open to the spiritual – and here I am talking about something inconsequential and taking my coat off. I realise the situation, stop talking and open to the wider life. Immediately I feel a flow of uplifting feeling move through my being as I am led to make slow movements of hands and arms. These become full body movements, a sort of unusual dance, part of which is a difficult hopping and turning movement. This is done flowingly and without hesitation, so I know I am deep into surrender. As this is going on my shirt comes off at least half of my chest and back. I think and feel that the men will see that at least I have a healthy strong body. The men are silent and I feel connected with them through the Test.

Suddenly I lift my legs up and hang in the air. The men gasp with surprise and uplift to see this demonstrated. Then my body lifts higher and flicks into a backward arc, my hands touching my toes in a circle. The men gasp and shout out as this has some special significance. Now lifting right up into the sky itself and feeling a part of the heavens I start to sing. My voice is like thunder filling space. I sing simple words – something like – “Love is bigger than the ocean. Love is wider than the sky. Life is full of ancient wonder. Love is more than meets the eye.”










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