Lie Lies Lying

Lies are like jailors that imprison the mind. When we lie consistently we suppress truth and therefore cannot assess anything clearly.

As an example of lying you may not have the strength to say no to someone who is manipulating you through your sexual desires or fears. This means you also become involved in that person’s deviousness and corruption too. A basic reason for this might be that there is something about yourself you do not have the courage or strength to admit. This passive lie opens you to being influenced in ways you later regret, or leaves you open to responses to others that disturb you. For instance you may feel inadequate as a man or woman for some reason. Hiding such an inadequacy leaves you weak and open to corruption or manipulation.

As one dreamer says, “I tell someone that I was in Mexico City at the time of the draft. This is a lie, but once I tell it, I am forced to keep lying again and again. I have to be in some long line and repeat this lie because of this. I feel like I am forced over and over again to be something I am not”.

 Example: As much as we would like to think of ourselves as civilised and refined humans, we are still governed by patterns of behaviour obvious in animals. We fight, kill, lie and cheat for the sake of sex, follow leaders and generally are obviously still animals. Part of becoming a really mature human is to meet and transform the animal in us. That does NOT mean kill or suppress it.

 Example: Mary who is also a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, had come to him with a disturbing dream in which she’d had sex with a man who, she said, she heartily disliked because he was such a terrible liar.  Mary then confessed that she’d recently been guilty of lying herself. She’d borrowed the tape of a lecture from her local library in order to duplicate it, but had wiped it instead. And then handed it back without admitting what had happened. Her dream had highlighted the fact that she too, was a liar.

Example: Taking Christ as a symbol of the cosmic web of sentient life, people can love it, wash their hands of it, crucify it, ignore it, be healed by it, lie about it, offer themselves to it, worship it – and so on and on. The stance we take in our relationship with this larger life we are an integral part of, is the basic stuff of how we live, and the quality of our life.

Example: When somebody says they love you they are usually telling a big lie. What they really mean is, “I will be nice to you and share myself with you as long as you do exactly what I want you to do.”  In detail this means that I will have all those exotic and erotic feelings about you as long as you don’t dare look at another person, and as long as you fulfil all my needs of dependency, fear, and all the other hang-ups I don’t really admit to myself.

Example: Dressing as a woman helped. In private of course, because I looked so bloody ridiculous. Dressing was my panacea. I would tell a lie if I said it was never sexual. (How could it not be?) But that aspect passed away very early on. Dressing was about tranquillity. When fully dressed, I could relax and set my mind free. I could function.

Idioms: a bare-faced lie; a pack of lies; let sleeping dogs lie; lie down on the job; little white lie; without a word of a lie


Useful Questions and Hints:

Can I see signs of negative emotions in my lie?

What prompted me to lie?

Was I protected myself of someone else by my lie?

See Inner WorldBeing the Person or ThingAutonomous ComplexAvoid Being Victims

Copyright © 1999-2010 Tony Crisp | All rights reserved