Level Confusion

Having looked at different dreams I can see how many of us are confronted with what I like to call Level Confusion.

With that I mean the confusion of not knowing that we have an inner world where we can apply the message of our dream, and realise it is not about outer actions of life.

This way we may for instance not understand our (unconscious) motivation to feel attracted to another man/woman as a means to expand the self – our inner male or female – which will increase our abilities and our effectiveness.

It is one of the many ways in which we can learn to develop and express our latent potential.

Two examples:


I have been having dreams that my husband’s friend wants to take me away from my husband. In last night’s dream he had his way with me sexually. Then told me not to worry about what my husband would do if I left him for his friend. In real life people have told me that they have caught my husband’s friend checking me out (after the dreams had already been going on for a while). What does my dream mean?

Anna – Tony’s Assistant

Dear Melody – It is not always easy to distinguish between intuition in dreams and where your own (unconscious) desires might come into play.

In other words, your dream could express that you have picked up signals from your husband’s friend in waking life about him being interested in you and in some way you are  also willing to “answer his call”.

I believe that we often tend to “translate” this being interested in each other onto a bodily level only and we forget that merging or uniting with another being can take place in the mind and so in our inner world too.

You are doing such a special thing that we usually believe is about changing partners – but it is also a way of learning how to love in a much bigger way. You want to love this man but a woman is capable of pouring out her love in many ways. You can love without needing to  possess or have physical sex. But of course it needs learning, but when learnt you can love  many men and women. It needs you to be able to define exactly what you want in the  relationship.

You cannot find everything in one partner, so it is good to find it within you or to learn to love in a BIG way. See Ages of Love

You wrote “Then told me not to worry about what my husband would do if I left him for his friend”.

In your inner world this could mean that you are ready to let go of some of the things you absorbed from your husband, which do not resonate with your inner being anymore.

In a relationship, whether a feeling relationship or one in which you are learning something,  you often absorb things from the person or event. You might take in such things  unconsciously, as you did many things from parents and from the culture you were raised in. See also Digest

 I think it is good to become aware that there is little gain in figuring out your husband’s friend process and where he stands and rather use your energy to explore your own inner world and desires and “where YOU want to go with what is going on between you”.

You could try to explore what it is that attracts you in this man and how you can integrate this  into your own being; make it a part of your inner male.

The male within the female, is shown as a man in a woman’s dreams. Physically a woman is predominantly female, but also has a clitoris and produces some male hormones.

Psychologically, we may only express part of our potential in everyday life. In a woman, the more physically dynamic, intellectual and socially challenging side of herself such as assertiveness and taking charge of situations may be given less expression. Apart from this some features, such as innovation and creative rational thought, may be held in latency.

Does that give you a start?



Yes it does help me very much. Thank you.

– Lisa

Hi, so this morning I had a dream that my now current husband was my ex. I was in a store some place of business which he owned. We were talking and another guy came over and said excuse me for a second, this guy was my current husband in the dream, he then proceeded to kiss me very passionately. My ex-husband in the dream, which is my current husband, was not upset at all. He said he was happy that I found him.

-Anna – Tony’s Assistant

Dear Lisa – It is good to meet you again!

I believe that your dream expresses the inner changes you are going through or changes that you are exploring and it also reflects that these changes do not (need to) cause any conflicted feelings ; “My ex-husband in the dream, which is my current husband was not upset at all.

He said he was happy that I found him”.

In a sense, a kiss is a merging with the person who is the dream character. Because we are always inside of ourselves male and female and also everything we dream about, it may therefore show merging more fully with “this other side of you”.

See Archetype of the Animus

The store is a symbol of your possibilities in life, the decisions you can make, the variety of attitudes or activities you can choose from and so the many ways in which you can express your wonderful potential.

See Energy Sex and Dreams and Potential



You give me such insight. Thank you!!!

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