Marriage and wedding
Feelings about being or getting married; uniting two different aspects of yourself such as intellect and feelings, practical and intuitive self; the ‘marriage’ between conscious and unconscious self – any children of the marriage would be flowering of new abilities or qualities. But children of married partners can often indicate the state of the marriage, its problems of wonders.
Sometimes it refers to what our energy or drive is uniting us with – such as a new business venture or creative scheme – any children of this type of marriage suggest our intuitive assessment of the likely outcome.
There are many urges in a woman or man other than getting a good partner. There is also the urge to find recognition in society, to move toward independence, to find a comfortable place in life – probably alone, to achieve financial independence, or to have children.
In some cultures dreaming of a wedding signifies a death in the family.
But from the viewpoint of the unconscious marriage is not about a church or civil ceremony. As the most orthodox church Catholicism states, you are not married unless you have had penetrative sexual intercourse. If that has not happened there is no need for divorce because marriage never took place.
The unconscious sees it similarly. As soon as you have penetrative sex with anybody you have formed links that are not physically visible but make a form of marriage. But it has to be between a woman and a man, for marriage is a holy rite leading to the wonder of procreation, the giving of life, which is what we are all about being life forms; which is holy, not because the church says so, but because Life itself is a holy mystery. So a man can never be married in the true sense to another man, or a woman to a woman. They can have a civil ceremony but not a real marriage.
But although the point of marriage is procreation, in dreams the creation of a child still takes place as many woman and men have dream children – which is the birth of a new part of oneself. It is a bringing to consciousness a new part of you that has been developing but remained previously unexpressed. Such births need to be honoured even though there is no physical sign of a child. So the new dreamt baby is a vulnerable part of you that needs care to grow and become a real part of your waking life.
But from this viewpoint there are two types of marriage, the first is through sexual intercourse between a woman and man. The second is through a complete union of the whole couple. Some believe that the spiritual marriage comes through the agreement to abstain from sex which should be a free mutual decision, rather than resulting from impotence or the views of one party. But experience shows another view which arises as one is able to open one’s life to the divine within you. This leads to the full marriage which includes the body, the personality and the divine impulse.
Example: I was led into the experience of my merging with Divine Love in marriage – when I married P. Gradually I was led to realise that it wasn’t me and P. that were married, the marriage was between the duality if Life meeting itself in wonder and love. This went on to a visionary experience of knowing the birth of each of us was the birth of wonder, of light and transcendence. I realised that we are all then ‘put down’ by those who raise us, and so the light we are is dimmed to an extraordinary degree. And I carried this light to my own spiritual self and all the women and men – including my children – who I loved. This felt incredibly real as if they would realise for themselves that they are married to the Highest. Example: I wanted them in some way to share what I had experienced – that the most high had incarnated into us. God was not outside of us. We are it, living this strange, often difficult, but wonderful life. To have experienced that divine union in myself in the images of the divine female and the divine male as we join in a wondrous union, still moves me deeply as I write this. To be shown once more that I am, as we all are, an incarnation of that very mystery of life, is a very great gift.
Dreaming of wedding if single: As in the example below, Mary could equally as well have dreamt she was the bride, but being in her thirties and unmarried it is easier for her to consider or experiment with the idea of marriage using the image of her friend. Should she marry whoever offers? When single one often dreams of marriage as a way of clarifying – what it would be like; could one succeed in it; is the present partner okay; how shall one achieve it? Man dreaming of marriage: For a man marriage faces him with something quite different to a woman dreaming of marriage. It is a woman’s initiation, and a man may feel as if he has to give up his manhood. So he may be facing such fears in his dreams – although marriage is a meeting and often a merging with his feminine self. For a man it can also be intimating the uniting of his female characteristics. See hermaphrodite; archetype of the anima Marriage: When a woman and man marry, something that often happens is that the woman interiorises the man and feels she is now complete. She has her man in her life and in her. The man can do the same thing. That is fine when it works by them staying together faithfully. But if the man leaves the woman, or the woman leaves the man, because they had taken their partner into them to become whole, the leaving feels like something has been ripped out of them. It is a terrible shock. See Archetype of the Animus Wedding dress: Feelings and hopes about relationship and wedding; in a negative dream it represents anxieties about ones relationship or the future. Wedding dress given by mother: Qualities and strengths or problems absorbed from mother about relationship; letting go of external mother by expressing her qualities in the present.
Example: I am at the wedding of my best friend. The groom doesn’t turn up and she decides to marry the first person who comes along. I wonder whether this is a good thing to do.’ Mary T. Example: When I was engaged to my present husband I dreamt we were married and I looked down at my wedding ring. It was twisted and bent. In fact I now see it as a warning because we have not made a good marriage.’ S.W. Example: I am a gay 20 year old woman. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about four months now. Previously, she had been my best friend for six years. Last night, I dreamt that we were married. I didn’t dream of a honeymoon, or announcing our marriage, or even proposing or anything of that nature. In the dream, I just…knew that we were married. My girlfriend’s hair was significantly longer than it normally is, if that means anything. In the dream, she insisted that she wanted to have a baby, and she wanted to do it by becoming pregnant through a sperm donor. It was a little strange, because neither of us are really keen on the idea of having kids at all, much less actually becoming pregnant. We were both excited about it in the dream though. Example: It was the realisation that in the little community I live in I am the only single male. I am feeling, or guessing, that the other males here are curious about that. This led me onto spontaneous speculations about what this meant in my life and whether it was a problem I was not looking at. I saw that some of the women in my life have wanted me to be more fully involved as their partner. I sometimes puzzle why I don’t have the same need, or I don’t feel the same need in reverse. As I explored this it felt as if I didn’t want to be contained within a woman’s needs. It reminds me of the proprietorial aspect of male female relationships.
See: Integrating the female in the male; Integrating the male in the female; bride; bridegroom.
Comments
I had a dream that I was with my ex and realized that we were already married. It was weird because in my dream we was having a talk about our issues and all of a sudden I looked at my hand and said I think I lost my ring. I looked at his hand and he didn’t have his on either. He looks in this drawer with a container in it and hands me my ring and then puts his on also. I was happy that he found it and hugged him and told him I loved him. We haven’t been together or seen eachother in over a year. What does this mean?
CelJ – It means that you miss him and would like to be together again. But it shouldn’t be taken as a prediction, only a reflection of your feelings. If you test it out with your ex though maybe he feels the same way. But be careful though of not hoping with all your heart.
Tony
I dreamt that i was getting married to my boyfriend. We had a rehearsal wedding and it all went amazing and i loved it. I got to choose out of several dresses and i chose a beautiful one.The next day it was the real wedding. all the dresses had changed into ugly ripped ones and my mum refused to do my hair for me. i ended up running around looking for underwear. My mother in law told me i would not be allowed into my wedding unless i found the under garments. when i was walking across a park i bumped into a group of about 4 10 year old boys who told me they were disappointed in me for not telling Ben (the boy who in real life i cheated on my boyfriend with, i really miss Ben. me and my boyfriend have separated now but Ben has a girlfriend) that i was getting married. I told them he did not care about me and never did. They then promised me they’d tell him about my marriage next time they saw him. As i continued across the park i bumped into Ben, his eyes looked hollow and his expression was blank, i was about to tell him i was getting married but somehow he knew, he started to laugh and told me he didn’t care and then just walked past me. The world we lived in was really controlled by the government and everybody had to follow rules and ways of life. I started to cry and as i ran back to the church my dress went black and the doors of the church were locked and i was unable to get in. Then it started to rain.
Jodie – Not a very hopeful dream is it?
I feel you have accepted the ‘rules and regulations’ the way everybody else thinks and acts. And it is a path full of misery if any deviation occurs – such as you find yourself in. Deviated by ‘cheating’ on your boyfriend; deviated by not having the right clothes; deviated by not being allowed into the church.
Those are all things that the church and fashion say are really important. But in fact every culture does it differently, so as humans we have a choice as to how we will live our life. But whereas the way most people walk is a wide paved road, any new direction is like walking across rough ground. But each time you go in that direction it gets easier, until you have made a path or your own, and other will use it. But there are so many people not trapped in the conventions that there are many paths now you could walk.
Your dream is all about love – at least a picture of love you have accepted that is not promising. Love is not our own but is an act of nature and flows through us if we do not block it and complicate it with fixed ideas about how it ‘should’ be.
I always have found that in such painful situations, if I put my hand on my heart and feel the Life in me beating away, and I open to the strange mystery of Life in me, then Life shows us a way through.
Tony
Three days I went to a much older friends house whom I met at a protest (I have most of her family on facebook without really realizing who was who), I greeted everyone, her older son (who is a year older than me) said Hi Rola which I found odd because I didn’t even know that she had an older son neither had I met him before (apparently he had been a facebook friend and I didn’t realize). I only thought of it for a second then forgot about it. two days after I had a dream him in which we got engaged and we kissed quite intimately. Rest of the dream is quite fuzzy I remember at one point we were married and again were quite intimate. I find this dream very bizarre because I’d only seen him for like 30 seconds and I dont remember being particularly attracted to him at all. I’m also 19 years old and really confused by this dream.
I dream that my bf got us a marriage permit. we have been together 5 years now. what does that dream inmplies?
Sarah – It could mean you are intuitive and are seeing what your boy friend is planning to do. But it could also mean your dream is something you wish for and is not about the future. But dreams do come true, especially if you help them on their way.
Tony
I’m 21 years old, unmarried. I had this dream last night about my marriage being planned by my family and that I was 24 years old. It took me a while(within the dream) to get a hold of things as they were happening too soon. I felt lost for while overwhelmed by all this attracted to the prospect at hand.I had this sudden flash of clarity this means huge implications, and pertains to my entire life and that my aspirations itself are totally different(being spiritual and work towards social welfare that would help realize my true worth) and that I cannot compromise and go ahead with this marriage. I consequently tell my parents that this marriage would be a disaster for me and ask them to call off the marriage who after long convincing listen to me and talk to the bride’s family and call off the wedding. For the first time ever I look at the bride as to who I would have married and feel apologetic and a sense of doubt about my decision but a huge sigh of relief that the whole thing is off. And I decide I might marry 4 years down the line when I’m 28 only if it aids me help those spiritual aspirations. Kindly help me interpret this dream.
p.s. Adding to it information that might help
1. I have currently begun pursuing those very same aspirations.
2. The past week I dreamt about a glass break (a rectangular piece of glass) which I found out from the net means change.
Rahul – It depends upon what you think is spiritual. Marriage is spiritual and requires a lot of inner growth to do well. Everyday life is very spiritual because it faces you with all the things you are trying to avoid, and if you can meet them you grow spiritually.
But as for broken glass meaning change I cannot see how anyone can say that – unless they have a dream dictionary such as have thousands or symbols that the author just makes up a meaning and often says it is good luck or bad luck.
Glass is an invisible but tangible barrier we may erect or feel around others, such as natural caution, emotional coldness, disinterest, fear of being hurt or pride. It can also be social barriers or invisible aspects of oneself which nevertheless may trap us, such as fear, lack of self respect; self doubt.
Breaking glass is breaking through a barrier or shattered emotions. But it depends very much in what context it is used.
Your dream also shows some indecision about the marriage. It reminds me of a story by Tagore. A young man is sleeping next to his wife and their baby. He is restless because he wants to find God and decides to leave his wife. But God calls out to him saying, “But my son, I am lying there beside you.” But the young man is so earnestly thinking he has to leave to find God he slips away into the night.
But obviously you need to honour your decision.
Tony
I had a dream last night that my my guy friend was getting married but I never saw the bride. it was so real the brides maid wore orange and the guys wore moss green. wines and picture taking were everywhere. It was held at garden. The bride wore a white gown but I coudn’t see her face.
I really want to find out what it means. I would really appreciate your help.
Maria – I believe this is about an uncertainty that you may not be admitting even to yourself.
That is why you could not see the bride face. It is not about fear of not being loved as some such dreams are, but you could not put your face there. Why not?
I suggest you imagine yourself in your dream – while awake – and see if you can change the dream so it is you in the brides place.
This may not be easy as all sort of feelings usually get in the way, but if you can work through them and acknowledge what they are you will be successful.
Tony
I had this dream last night where I was a bride i was wearing a beautiful vintage lace white dress and my hair was up (very different from what i imagine to look like as a bride) i remember being very shocked because i felt truly beautiful from the inside. Howver I was not the only bride there there were loads of them faces that I know faces that had a connection with the grrom in real life. All of them had very modern dresses but nothing like the one i wore i did feel that i stood out. The groom was not my boyfriend but a guy that i have always loved but never was able to be together due to the fact that i was in a relationship for many years and still are but in the process of ending it. The groom came and saw me and kissed me and a bright light signed on us where everyone could see but he still was unable to marry me and had to leave then i saw him talking to the other brides and i was upset as i couldnt understand why he couldnt go ahead with it and marry me. The End.
Emily – It seems that because you are ending your present relationship you were beginning to look around for someone better. You see the guy you have love for a long time and go for it in your dream. In your mind you obviously stand out from the crowd, and you feel you have a lot to offer – you felt beautiful from the inside.
Then even though the light goes on when you kiss it ends with what I feel is uncertainty. So I feel that you ought to check what his situation is and how you relate to it. Maybe you could stimulate his interest?
Tony
I had a dream last night that my boyfriend and I got married. However things kept going wrong in the beginning so it took forever for the wedding to start. During the ceremony it went by so fast and then he didnt even “kiss the bride.” During the reception no one talked or entertained me, the Groom went with his friends and partied, and my bridesmaids all left me up stairs alone while they partied. My groom wouldnt even come near me. Then after the wedding he decides to be with my friend instead of me and then they get married right after my wedding. I tried to fight the wedding but I realize that My boyfriend & I never got a marriage license first so therefore our wedding wasnt legit and theirs was. No one seemed to think anything is wrong and everyone just goes on like everything is ok. During the morning I kept waking up but when i feel asleep again I was back in the same dream…What is all this about??
RJ – Your dream has the themes of feeling unloved, abandonment and even betrayal.
It seems obvious from your dream that you want to marry your boyfriend, but then all the negative feelings, presumably yours, stand in the way of you being able to enjoy the wonder of marriage.
That doesn’t mean your dream is a prediction of what will happen, just that you may not feel good in the marriage until you face those difficult feelings.
Have you had events in your life when you felt abandoned, unwanted and even betrayed? If so it is worth looking at them with the help of a good listener. Also go back in your dream and see if you can change it to be how you would like it to be. Obviously the old feelings might get in the way, but see if you can push though them. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/ as it might help. Also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYYXq1Ox4sk is very helpful.
Tony
I’m a 25 y/o female, only had one previous forgettable relationship. I’m really shy and conservative in a way that I don’t approach a guy first, I believe in no sex till marriage etc. Last night I had a dream that I was getting married to my college crush. It’s just strange bec I haven’t thought of him for a long time. In my dream I was panicking and crying, not sure if I really wanted to marry. In the end I became sure that I really wanted to marry ‘him’ but the groom was nowhere to be found. Please help me analyze my dream. 🙂
Mini – I see that this dream is about a real swing inside yourself. It is a swing between being not too comfortable with men and the feeling that you now have the strength – emotionally and as a woman – to meet a man.
That is quite an important change. If we are unable to meet a partner with out own strength, then it is an unequal partnership. But if a strong woman meets a man who can meet and dance with her strength, it is good.
But as yet this is a new thing for you so it may still be vulnerable, but it will grow.
Please do not feel that the man in your dream that you decided to marry should be the one. I would suggest that you take time to clarify what qualities you see in him and seek a man with those qualities.
Tony
I dreamed last night that i was wearing tube wedding dress and white the color and used pearls for my earrings and necklace, i am the one fixing myself and they told me to hurry up. when i was in the church i ask my mother who is my groom, and when she told me that guy is the one i was crying and told them that I’m not going to marry him. and end
Agnes – This is a sad dream. It shows you wanting so much to be loved and in loving relationship. Yet when you look around you cannot see much hope for finding the one who will love you as you wish, and that fills you with weeping.
But as I look deeper into you and your dream, I see that to find love we must first have it. We must make of our life an expression of love. We can build love, make love by our actions and our life – then it comes to us.
Tony
My husband’s sister who is a gynaecologist dreamt a few days back that my husband has secretly married another woman and she is 9 months pregnant and has come to her clinic for treatment. His sister cries and fights with my husband for doing this to me. In her dream I was not aware of the 2nd marriage.
Last night, my husband dreamt that he is getting married to another woman but he despises her. I was there in their wedding ceremony and when he sees me there he thinks about the mistake he is making since he loves me so much and everyone in his family is crazy about me. He says when he woke up he felt like crying and thanked God that it was only a dream.
J – I see these as two very different dreams from two very different people.
The first one from you husbands sister seems to me to have a theme of jealousy; or if not that a dream that seems to be about spreading rumours to spoil her brother’s marriage.
The second dream from your husband is about his struggle to remain faithful to one wife. He is seeing in the dream the consequences of loving the other woman. I do wonder whether he was told the sister’s dream and it stimulated his dream abpu9t marriage.
Maybe I am being hard on the sister, but I still feel she didn’t really like her brother getting married.
Tony
Yes Tony my sister told her dream while all of my husband’s family was sitting together for dinner. She told it as a joke but I was really angry at her for being so insensitive. Me and my husband have only been married for 6 months. She has been mean to me many times. She has a personality full of extremes. She is really nice to me at times and really mean the next moment. She constantly accuses me of me hiding my feelings to please as others as if it is a negative trait :s
Ishfaq – It was such a good thing for me to hear what you said about your sister in law. Sometimes I really do not know what the dream means, so I open myself to the wider consciousness I know we all have. So it was good to know that it could be so helpful. Thank you.
Tony
Hi,
I saw two a dream where in i can see from outside and feel there is some marriage going but it is not mine and second dream something weird i saw the wedding card wherein i see the name of the bride but the name of bridegroom doesn’t appear i could see the name as vs somegirlsname
I am still single so i am not sure what this dream means
Thanks in advance for the interpretation
Sandy – I believe this type of dream is about you wondering what your man will be like and whether you will be married. You can’t see the bridegroom name because you do not know him yet. The girl’s name was about you, as you want to be.
Don’t be put off. Dreams are sometimes not clear because we are not clear ourselves. So get into having a clear picture of what you want.
Tony
I’m a 20 year old guy. Last night, I dreamed about my parent’s wedding in 1989. The thing is though my parents were never married. It w as weird though because it started with me showing pictures of this wedding to my boyfriend. After a while it was if the pictures I was showing him were coming to life. The people were all my mother’s. My dad was in the pictures but in the wedding he was not there. Over the course of the dream the pictures and the wedding moved into one event. It ended with my parents and I living in the house my dad lives in now.
My parents were never married and I haven’t talked to my dad in about 4 years. I’m confused
Michael – The whole dream seems to be a re-visiting of the time of your parents coming together and conceiving you.
Of course your parents married in that they had sex – that was the greatest of married acts – though many people treat it like a game. But of course it is not recognised by state or church; except that the RC church doesn’t not recognise that you are married until sexual union has taken place.
The photos that come to life suggest the living influence of past experience, and your continuing involvement in what the picture depicts. So your inner mind is still involve in the thoughts and memories surrounding your birth and parenting. He wasn’t there in the dream because you feel an absence of a real present father. It is natural to want to find and have a relationship with your father – and I do not necessarily mean your external father. In our dream life we attempt to become whole. And that means, eventually, bringing together all the main parts of your nature into harmony, internally.
That means the female self, the mother and father, the child in you, the animal self, the potential you hold that is often called the spiritual self – and of course meeting your negative karma. That is what life is actually about. So in your dream you are regressing to your past to work on that theme. So I would advise you to talk to your father, if not in actual life, inside you, and sort out the issues between you. It can be done in that way.
Tony
i dreamed that i was going to be married but at the back of my mind, it is not me who is going to be married, someone else i know but i was the one who is wearing the wedding dress. everybody already left to the church while I and the make-up artist was left behind. i had an argument with the make-up artist, so the make-up artist left me and it is just me who finished my make-up. then after the scene changed and i was already outside the church still wearing the wedding dress and there are a lot of people. i didn’t know who my groom is.
my boyfriend dreamed also about him getting married. he said that one day he is wearing something a groom in a wedding should wear, then in their house he was looking for the people but there were no people. so he asked her mom where the make-up artist is. after being done with the make-up artist he went to the church. a lot of people is waiting in the church. then his dream ends.
Ann – It is interesting that you both dreamt of make-up artists. Is that because you both uncertain about something?
But there is a certain hiatus and uncertainty about both dreams. That could be that you are both not clear in your mind about marriage – although you are fine otherwise. Or it could be your uncertainty creating a dream that is not the clear cut marriage that you would like to have dreamt about.
It is always wise to talk about these dreams and the uncertainty. If you can do this without either of you feeling criticised it can lead to a wonderful realisation about the strength of the relationship.
Tony
I dreamt last night that I was the groom and a friend of mine was the bride. Our friendship builds on the fact that she was the one to be helped and I the helper. In the dream the wedding is huge. I’ve been wearing my wedding ring all day before the wedding. I ask my friend if she has the ring and she points to a box at the altar and says she’ll just grab any ring from the box. We go outside and we’re at a playground. My friend climbs down a really steep and high ladder but I’m too scared to follow her, I have to climb into a tree to find a staircase. When I get back to the venue the wedding has been canceled and everyone has gone. I’m wearing flowing clothes that make me look like a nun.
Pia – I recognise this dream as one that should be part of a series about love and marriage. And of course the marriage is really one in which you meet the your soul mate. And the true soul mate is not another person, but your own self – your female self – and the marriage is one in eternity, a spiritual experience.
But leaving that to one side, it is about you not having the right qualities to be married. It is a long journey to be worthy of a spiritual marriage. It seems that courage to face risks is there in the dream. And when the marriage comes again in a dream, you will see how far you have got. If you succeed, and you are married to your female self, then you can marry almost any human woman, for you will have forged love.
Tony