Because of the way the tongue and mouth are sometimes used in oral sex, the tongue can depict the penis, or at least, the drive to penetrate or to make contact through that sensitive organ. Another side to this is that we can express a lot of care and love through the tongue, as when a mother animal licks its child, so can express healing. But the tongue in all mammals is a way love and care is given, and so kissing is probably a return to this.

Orally we express ourselves in sound and words. In dreams we may express truths or guidance that we do not experience in any other way. Something that becomes apparent in dreams is that usually we express in words through thought – from the head. But we have a much larger self which does not flow from the head but from deep in our body. Then we make sounds or sing with so much feeling and often touch the holiness that we are.

 Example: I am living in a large old house with P (my husband) and I ask him about a girl that I recently discovered online who is an adult film star and frequents the same cafe that he occasionally works at. When I ask him if he knows her, he admits to me that he has known for a while and recently had oral sex with her. He apologizes, but says he is somewhat interested in her and intends to pursue her. I get very upset and verbally attack him and pull his hair and have a bit of a tantrum. When I am calm, I feel better, but still completely betrayed and saddened.

Example: The kiss, oral pleasure, was our first area of loving with our mother. From that original centre of pleasure, it grows into anal and genital pleasure. When that happens the body begins to move. But there was still no erection. The movement was the forerunner of the inner pleasurable urge to thrust and penetrate. So there was a slow and internal growth through escalating feelings, and not an outwardly ordained set of movements that lead to “sex”!

Example: One female patient could never understand her curious urge to be filled with semen until through this fantasy she discovered that she was led not by sexual desire but by oral greed, and the liquid she required was not semen but milk.


Useful Questions and Hints:

In what way does oral come into my dream?

Is it voice expression or sex?

Do you speak or sing in your dream?

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