My Death and Rebirth

Or There and Back Again!

Martin Tucker

March 18, 2015 at 11:04am

Woke up on a normal Sunday but this morning we had a plan, me and my beloved partner Maria had decided to sell some of our India tat and make some much needed money at the the King Arthur Sunday festival. A lovely day out with lovely people .

                     We turned up earlier than usual to set up and I had arranged with  Sunbird to cover him and help the crew with the day as he was in London and was going to be back later in the afternoon it was about 1 pm …..we got the round table from upstairs to set up. bought a pint of Druid fluid and it tasted sweet.

The rest of the day was pretty quiet, less peeps than normal but on this day it was about quality not quantity, 2 pts down and the lovely landlady brought out the roast potatoes and I grabbed a couple, 10 minutes later I felt like they had gone down the wrong way and I had a feeling of indigestion or so I thought.

 More liquid to try and move the acid or indigestion, but the pain was growing and not subsiding, I went and sat with the mothers and asked them to keep an eye on me …I was getting more and more uncomfortable and hot. I moved off the sofa and lay on the floor taking my jumper off. Derek LOOKED AT ME …I was pale and clammy but to me it still felt like terrible indigestion, I was asked if I wanted an Ambulance before and I had said no, I mean how embarrassing to call 999 for indigestion.

Someone in their wisdom vetoed me and called …First bit of luck was there happened to be one passing through Glastonbury, normally it can take 20 minutes from Frome but 5 minutes later and I had the para-medics standing over me and checking me over. They said it looked Gastric to them, they lifted me up and helped me walk to the Ambulance. As I sat down on the stretcher I felt a huge rush and suddenly I was rushing down a tunnel

I was knew I was dead and leaving this plane and body behind, I was doing a check list; was I ready to go, saying goodbye in my mind to all my loved ones, asking if there was any unfinished business. As I went down the psychedelic tunnel each beautiful experience I had in my life came to me, each like a page in a book, such bliss, such an incredible beautiful feeling. I felt my whole life had led to this point and I was prepared.

Trust and let go and surrender was the key. I didn’t want to fight it, I felt immense love. I was even conscious briefly that was this feeling from the massive DMT release that supposedly happens when you died.

(Meanwhile in the ambulance 3 para-medics were fighting for my life, adrenaline straight in my heart and defibrillators). Poor Maria had to witness all this, and on the way to Yeovil I had another coronary and died again. The ambulance did a u turn and off to Taunton a half hour drive where a full operating team were waiting.

As I came too on the operating table I heard them speaking to each other should they wait for the surgeon or not, I remember waking up to say, “O yes” We have to keep you awake they said as we are operating on my heart.

Later and groggy I awoke in a hospital bed ….knowing that without doubt our consciousness never dies and the place I was headed was my real home ….since leaving Hospital it has been a long struggle I lost 33% of my heart muscle and have degenerative brain damage and have been very weak and vulnerable, have been taken back to hospital numerous times and had 2 more cardiac arrests like I was under attack…it has been a long road up to now and peoples love and care which I am eternally grateful for has given me faith .

The consultant bless his cotton socks asked me if I had ever had a cocaine addiction due to previous damage, I never have never liked it so no was the answer. Then he said, “You must be a deeply emotional person who has suffered many broken hearts”.  That amazed me because it was true. “And you will need a lot of love to get you through this”.

On the day thank you to @Cleo Laine, @Yazmine @Dave Jono@Sun Bird

@ Derek chapman, Nadine, the Mums, the lovely landlady love to you all.  Martin Tucker

Copyright © 1999-2010 Tony Crisp | All rights reserved