Sexual dreams usually express hidden desires; the way we would like to express sexually, or problems in this area. Although sex is symbolised in many dreams, where it appears directly it shows that the dreamer is able to more easily accept their sexual urges and hurts. What is then important is to attempt an understanding of what setting or drama the sexual element occur in. Our psychological and sexual nature, like our physical, never stand still in development unless a pain or problem freeze them at a particular level of maturity. Therefore, our sexual dreams, even if our sex life is satisfactory, show us what growth, what new challenge, is being met.

Whenever a healthy man dreams, he experiences an erection, no matter what the subject of the dream. Women also experience such stimulus while dreaming.

While dreaming you can safely allow any form of sexual pleasure you desire. Don’t let the useful morals of waking life intrude into your dreams. If your sexual dreams are frustrating, or do not lead to deep pleasure, drop the fears and limiting attitudes that are blocking the full flow of your excitement and pleasure.

Your longing for sexual partners that isn’t openly expressed, will attempt to become real in your dreams. It doesn’t mean that you are dissatisfied with your present partner if you have sex with other people in your dreams. All of us have such secret longings, and it is healthy for them to be allowed as we sleep. What it usually suggests is that you are exploring other experiences or dimensions of sex that you can then bring into your waking relationship.

Sometimes sexual pleasure is depicted in dreams as a tidal wave, or a snake, or something you may be resisting. This is because full sexual bliss floods the whole body, releasing tensions, bringing peace and a healing action physically and psychologically. To achieve this, learn to let go of rigid self control and be ready to feel your emotions.

Enjoying sexual pleasure with an animal, such as being kissed or licked by a cat, is the way dreams describe your own sexual urges at their most uncomplicated and basic level. It doesn’t mean you are weird. In such dreams you are dropping the complicated social rules that usually direct how you express yourself.

The energy behind the sexual drive is enormously important. It can flow in many different ways. It not only expresses as genital sex, but also in caring for others. If it is blocked illness can result. Your dreams show in detail just how you are dealing with this most important area of your life, and what is standing in the way of satisfaction and health. Do not accept the ready made formulas of popular sexual norms. Your dreams will show your own intimate and unique needs. Remember your dreams and be enriched by them.

Having sex with friends sister or brother is a normal way of exploring what it would be like to have sex with them. But it doesn’t mean you should act on it. In dreams you are free of all the difficulties attached to having sex physically, so it is harmless in dreams, but can cause many difficulties physically and socially.

Example: Laughing and happy, the flow of pleasure to E, leading to a kiss. The deep internal pleasure of kissing gradually widened until it led to genital feeling. I realised so many things as this lovely gentle growth of feeling and flowing occurred. I realised that I and most teenagers have too much technical sex instruction, so it is portrayed as an erect penis entering the vagina. But I was seeing it wasn’t like that at all. First of all came the gradual relationship with E. As that deepened it led to touching, being happy together and kissing. The kiss, oral pleasure, was our first area of loving with our mother. From that original centre of pleasure, it grows into anal and genital pleasure. This was what was happening. Then gently the body began to move. But there was still no erection. The movement was the forerunner of the inner pleasurable urge to thrust and penetrate. So there was a slow and internal growth through escalating feelings, and not an outwardly ordained set of movements that led to “sex”!


-Nita 2014-06-21 1:30:27

My boyfriend that I’ve been with for the last 18 months has these dreams every now and then and he’s very talkative during these dreams. I discover almost 9 months ago that he has a past of having sexual relations with men and this was something he did for a couple of years right up to the weeks of our first date. He wasn’t forth coming about this information it’s something I stumbled upon while cleaning out his email box. He’s not very forth coming with wanting to talk about it says he’s embrassed about the past. Well he has these dreams and in these dreams he’s having sex with a man and is talking dirty and asking for this particular sex move or jacks off as well. When I wake him he has no memory of the dream. And sometimes can go right back to sleep and the dream picks up right where he left off as if hitting the pause button. We don’t talk about it afterward because of his refusal. What does all this mean?

-Ali turtles 2014-06-16 6:16:15

I had a dream me (girl) and one of my closest friends (boy) were having sex but I have a boyfriend. Why did I have that dream? My friend has said before he has had dreams of us having sex before too. But we are both taken. We both wonder why why we keep having dreams of eachother having sex when we’re both taken. We have liked eachother in the past but not right now. I’ve known my friend for about 3 or 4 years now. Thanks for reading

-Ali Turtles

    -Tony Crisp 2014-06-17 8:16:55

    Ali – You are largely unaware of who you are and what you are capable of. For a start you do not know anything about how your body keeps you alive. Of course you can read about it, but that is not knowing. Also you are mostly an animal with all the animal instincts to have sex, to eat, to get what you want, and on top of that is a small part of you called your personality.

    In dreams you are free of all the difficulties attached to having sex physically, so it is harmless in dreams, but can cause many difficulties physically and socially. In dreams you are also true to your animal nature and can mate with and try out different things. So there is a part of you that likes the experience of having sex with the dream image or your friend. Please see and


-lex 2014-06-05 10:36:40

Hello tony well last night I had a dream about my bff (male) and myself (female) on the bleachers at a baseball game (witch is unusual because I hate baseball) I was laying in between his legs and he was eating something with a spoon he took the spoon and put it in my mouth and said gag and I made fake gagging noises and then put the spoon back in his mouth next thing I know we’re making out underthe bleachers. I have a bf and love him.I did have a crush on my bff when we first met but I got over it I. I’m confused please help

-cc 2014-05-24 11:41:46

I had a dream my fiance licking out my big sister private area what do that mean?

-Czarina 2014-05-23 0:03:57

I had a dream. I met a good looking stranger. Then we were talking until we reached to the point that he wants sex. We did it at the comfort room of an unknown mall that I first saw in dreams. Later on, we were so close and likely attached to each other. But this dream seems so real and felt so guilty because I have my boyfriend. Good thing it was just a dream.. I dont know what to say if I reach out for my boyfriend

-Czarina 2014-05-23 0:03:03

I had a dream. I met a good looking stranger. Then we were talking until we reached to the point that he wants sex. We did it at the comfort room of an unknown mall that I first saw in dreams. Later on, we were so close and likely attached to each other. But this dream seems so real and felt so guilty because I have my boyfriend. Good thing it was just a dream..

-Angela 2014-05-21 22:19:13

Hi, i am currently a freshman in college and I’m in a wonderful relationship with my first boyfriend that I got together with in my senior year of high school. However right now, we are in a long distance relationship and I don’t get to see him too often. My concern was with these dreams that I’ve been having, not constantly, but randomly sometimes where I end up cheating on my boyfriend,knowing that I have him, but once the deed is done I realize what a horrible thing I’ve done and I wake up. I don’t want to have these dreams!! I know that I will never cheat on him and I am 100% sure that my boyfriend wouldn’t cheat on me, and if he ever did want to, he would break up with me first. I was wondering what these dreams mean because I really don’t want these, but if it’s a message that my body or brain is trying to tell me, I was hoping to find out the truth…..

-liz 2014-04-09 11:36:58

I had a dream I was in school me and my bf were fine and then I get to hobby time which everyone has and he’s mad I sit there thinking what happened I go to try and find him when I do he wants to break up I started crying and telling him why we sat at the tables he told me hes talking to another girl then he tells me all the girls that he had sexual contact with while he was still with me I had another dream after that and same thing going to hobby time my friend was talking to me she says just talk to her ill wait for you but he leaves out of sight I texted him if he’s coming he said yeah ill be there in a bit but it was almost over he never showed up then I woke up. Does that mean anything I feel now like his cheating

-Ashutosh Singh 2014-03-24 2:07:07

Good morning sir,
Tomorrow evening with my wife quarrelling then slept. I am starting in delhi an he is staying in other places. dream to sex in early morning in with my wife then wake up.
Note:-always quarrelling my wife with me she is not caring me.plz rly

    -Tony Crisp 2014-03-24 7:59:59

    Ashutosh – I am sorry but I cannot get a clear picture of your dream from what you have written. I would suggest you write it out in the language that you are fluent in, then put it in Google Translate – and translate it into English .


-Paul 2014-03-19 0:09:52

Well i had a dream that my girlfriend cheated on me by having sex with another guy. It was a morning dream. I dreamt almost the same dream in twice in a month about 7am* . Is there any meaning?

-Gabby 2014-02-09 20:46:45

I had a dream where I was with my four best.friends and we were getting an assignment from someone we knew in the dream but I don’t actually know who it was anyway to complete the assignment we had to travel across the country and deliver some sort of package on the way me and two of my friends repeatedly had sex and all of us are girls I’mbisexual and it was really enjoyable but it was with two of my best friends and the other two friends were not a part of the sex

-M 2014-02-06 10:11:51

I sometimes have dreams of sleeping with my bestfriend who’s a woman and she has a boyfriend, I am single myself. I never feel ashamed of it and it makes me happy in general. I remember one time of just lying there with her on top of me after and just feeling content. I’m not sure if I want to be with her even though sometimes I do like to admire her which I think is normal between a man and woman who are friends. One time she wore a particular outfit (just a casual one) and I found her very attractive, anyway in the least I know that I care about her personally. I just was hoping that you maybe help me understand the situation. Another thing that I think may be related is that I feel that I owe her a lot, she just makes me feel confident in general and helped me with quite a few things. Thanks

    -Tony Crisp 2014-02-19 12:08:01

    Matt – Dreams are often a way we can safely express how we feel about someone without any comebacks or commitment. So the question is for you to define what you want from the relationship. Do you want to try to separate her from her boyfriend and be her partner? Or is it more comfortable for you to stay as you are and maybe deepen your friendship.

    It is tricky because of the male and female sexual drive, so be careful and thoughtful about what you decide. But you could try honestly talking with her about how you feel and what she had brought into your life. See


      -M 2014-02-20 0:29:20

      Are you saying that you think I may be in love with her?

-16kc16 2014-01-28 0:34:03

My best friend (male) told me he has had sex with me (female) in his dreams more than he has had actual sex with his girlfriend. It doesn’t really bother me being asexual, but it seems to bother him a bit because he doesn’t really understand it. He really wants to know what it means because I imagine it’s awkward seeing me like that when we usually just play video games together. His girlfriend is awesome too, they get along really well and have a decent sex life apparently so I’m having a lot of trouble trying to help him understand them. He said that they are usually at our school where one second he’ll be doing work and then suddenly I’ll be there and stuff goes down. He said he’s had some about other girls, but none his girlfriend and most me. I think we’ve both liked each other at points, but have both long since gotten over it so we have no idea why he’s having them. Please help is make sense of them. Thank you.

-Katie06 2014-01-25 16:08:16

I had a dream that I was with an old friend from high school who I used to have a crush on. We were alone at a house and just hanging out together, but I was wrapped in a blanket naked underneath and kept re wrapping my blanket like I wanted him to see me naked. Eventually in the dream we started to have sex but then I woke up. I have a boyfriend who is not the old friend from high school, what does this dream mean?

    -Tony Crisp 2014-01-27 8:36:06

    Katie – We all have desires and needs we do not even admit to ourselves. When I was about thirty five, and really began to let my feelings surface, I suddenly had a dream about my female cousin from seventeen years ago. I had hidden my desire to have sex with her because she was a cousin. Well maybe I didn’t hide the desire, but the strength of it.

    You dream is fairly straight forward, you would like your dream lover to see you naked. Such dreams are simply ways we express our feelings and experiment with our sexual feelings. It doesn’t mean you are in love with the ‘crush’.


-cjez1320 2014-01-12 5:20:56

I had a dream last night that I was at a laundry mat with my bf mom and she was telling me that she went to get her cards read and they told her that my bf was gonna end up getting someone pregnant. When i found out I ran to the house went to the room where he was at. He was with my little boy(not his) playing around. We start wrestling and I tell him fuck me he looks at me and asks me what I said I told him again so we go at it on the floor. I was on top but he couldnt put it in so he gets on top and we start doing it. We end up on the bed me on top his mom comes in the room and tells us we were crazy and leaves the room we laugh and keep going at it..what does it mean??? **we haven’t had sex yet

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