Relationship and dreams

Most dreams depict relationship in one form or another. Some dreams however, specifically show you in a particular relationship. Such dreams are usually highly significant in that they reveal aspects of what you are doing in the relationship that you may not admit or realise consciously. It can therefore be transformative to gain insight into any dreams that show you in relationship with present partners or lovers.

Example: I was with Lorna, a woman I was having a relationship with but not committed to. She told me she was pregnant. I said to her this was impossible and it couldn’t be my child. She looked at me and shrugged saying ‘Okay, I’m not pregnant’. Neal C.

On exploring the dream Neal realised the enormous feelings involved. He had not realised consciously that Lorna had completely offered herself to him in their relationship. The dream shows him rejecting this complete offering of her sexuality and womanhood, and her turning away when he rejected her. This had actually happened, but Neal had not been conscious of what was occurring between them. The dream enabled him to realise how he pulled away from a woman’s full flow of self expression, and begin to change this.

In the world of dreams our most intimate fears and longings are given an exterior life of their own in the form of the people, objects and places of our dream. Therefore our sexual drive may be shown as a person and how we relate to them; or given shape and colour as an object; or given mood as a scene. Our feeling of ambition might thus be portrayed as a business person in our dream – our changing emotions as the sea or a river; while the present relationship we have with our ambition or emotions is expressed in the events or plot of the dream.

So any dream shoiwng a relationship needs to be looked at as if the drama and people, even the objects in the dreams, as if they are words in a sentence.

Example: I was in a very loving relationship in which I had developed powerful emotional links with D. We communicated many times each day while apart at work, etc. But one day there was no communication. I felt tremendous anxiety and emotional pain and shock, really frightened that she had dropped me. In fact she hadn’t, but my fears were very real and difficult to deal with. A real shock.

The feelings of being left or dropped, even if not real, are difficult ot deal with. Looking at ones dreams can give a real insight. Looking iwth the eys of truth.

Relationship is a vital part of life

Relationships in their various aspects, are one of the most vital and fulfilling parts of your life. Every dream you have has as its key theme, or as an underlying fact, an experience of a relationship.

The quality of your relationships is vitally important, and determine how another person, or society, rewards or rejects you, what your dreams reveal about the hidden side of how you deal with other people can transform your life.

Relationship can be joyful of painful – but dreams can smooth pat of love

Also, love, whether for children, for a marriage partner, or a lover, can be a source of great joy. Or it might be experienced as conflict, or pain. The insights dreams can bring concerning the way your love flows or is blocked, can change conflict or pain to a feeling of wholeness and satisfaction.

Relationships are made or broken by passions, pains and responses, many of which lie hidden, and arise from the very foundations of what we experienced of love, or its absence, in infancy and childhood. The present grows out of the past. The past pain of broken trust can still disrupt the trust we feel in our present love. The insights dreams give you can enable you to understand such influences, pinpoint their source, and move beyond them.

Dreams do this by using mime and drama. While in a loving relationship that was sometimes painful to him, and thereby provoked doubts, Vincent had the following dream.

“I was visiting a children’s hospital for two days, and in my dream I woke in the hospital and saw a book placed carefully by me on the bed. I knew that Diane, my partner, had quietly come while I slept, and left the book as a gift. I picked up the book and the title was, ´Flaming Heart´. I felt very happy, and knew the book was about the power and fire of love”

Vincent’s pain arose from the fear of being abandoned by the person he loved. This was from childhood wounds, at times making Vincent wonder if he was really loved by Diane. In his childhood, Vincent had twice being placed ín a hospital. Each time he experienced a terror of being abandoned. So dreaming that he was in a hospital shows him revisiting those feelings. And they are feelings that had been disrupting his relationship with Diane. The book suggests that from his connection with Diane, Vincent has become aware of an as yet unexplained — unread — experience of love. There is no suggestion of hidden problems in the dream. Therefore Vincent felt he should trust the positive side of their love, and patiently allow unfoldment in himself.

Through such imagery and feelings as Vincent met in his sleep, dreams guide us towards greater love and satisfaction in our relationships. See Beware of Love; Surviving Love and Relationships; Ages of Love; Love Sex and Desire.