Victim Victimised

A Victim or Being Victimised

Feeling victimised; having a passive relationship with others, or one’s own internal aggression; the aspect of self which one has injured or murdered by repression or moral condemnation. This might be saying that you are not acknowledging or expressing your own wants or needs. It might also be that you are victimising someone else who is not strong enough to stand against your desires or will.See: murder; aggression

The situation of being a victim is a central and a key point so time will be taken with it.

We are all born victims of circumstance. But we need not remain a victim.

Therefore, it is wise to be able to recognize that these are habits of reaction to events. We might say we are victims of the world or life. But we can alter it by learning how to change our habits. And it started for me a long time ago because I had to learn things without which no change could have taken place. I do not mean book learning but learning by living it. The first thing I remember learning was that I could change habits. Fortunately, it was a simple habit. I noticed that as I walked through the building I worked in I left the doors open. I believe I had read somewhere that the only difference between a criminal and a successful person was their habits. So, whenever I left a door open I would close it – even if I had forgotten and walked on, I turned around and closed it. Within a short time, it became anew habit to close doors, all done now without effort. So, that was the first thing I learned, and then moved into greater challenges with our psychological habits. These were hard because many of them were unconscious and I had to dig deep to find them. See The Healing Experience

The next thing I needed to learn was that we are all victims, but we do not admit it. What I mean is that we are all victims of beliefs, convictions, word people say, what people or parents have told us or hit us about – and I am not talking about traumas. We are all born victims of circumstance. But we need not remain a victim.

Your natural response to your environment is to be influenced by it. A disturbing event would stimulate you to feel fear, a calming event to feel pleasure. Your moods are usually influenced by what happens to you. So, being in prison would be more depressing than being free. Being rejected would cause more pain than being admired or loved.

Our emotions and feelings about ourselves are like a keyboard that is played upon by people and events. If we are praised or rewarded our self confidence and therefore performance will usually be enhanced. That is fine except it means we will usually depend upon the world to create our moods and our sense of our own value. This makes us victims. We may not be dependent on a drug, but on praise, success, being admired or wanted. Without them we may experience the lows the drug user does on withdrawal.

So, we need to see how events, words, our own thoughts are playing on our own victimisation. If you learn these two you are taking steps toward your own wellbeing. Change the habit of being a victim. See I Had Been In That Direction A Thousand Times

However, there is an extraordinary possibility. This dream of Ed’s explains it.

I was in a prison with several others – all in one cell. It felt as if I had been in the prison for years. I was standing near the bars angry and shouting about the injustice of my incarceration.

As I stood raging I suddenly realised that all my anger was having no affect on the world. I was the only one suffering it. I saw that the peace and freedom I wanted from release I could have now by letting go of my anger. I would then be in peace, and would be free of my own negative emotions. So I let go of he feelings I had about my judges and gaolers, and a change came over me. In the following years I learned to drop the other ideas and emotions I tortured myself with. Then one day I woke and was filled with joy until my bliss filled the cell. In this way all had changed for me. In a strange way I was now utterly free even though in prison.

The greatest prison of all, the greatest of torturers, is our own thoughts, emotions and our concepts or ideas. While Ed felt angry and held the idea he had been wrongly accused, he was tormented and trapped – imprisoned in his own ideas and emotions. To have received a public apology and released would have changed his feelings, but he would still have remained a passive victim of events. Instead he found in his dream the greatest freedom of all – a blissful freedom – the release from his ‘natural mind and emotions.

For instance, if a married woman with two children falls in love with a man outside of her marriage, and her family and cultural values stress the wrongness of such feelings, she is likely to experience enormous conflict. This conflict could lead to depression, withdrawal or suicide. But in the end what she is struggling with is the opposition between personal drives – her love for the man – and her cultural and family standards. If we look at the way men and women live and survive throughout the world, then such standards appear purely local. They are not innate, so, underlying the ‘local’ customs she is trying to honour but is in conflict with it, but there exists a human potential for many different ways of dealing with love and attraction. See Learning to Love 

Being the victim: Feeling victimised; often depicts the chip on our shoulder. We may have been hurt sometime and go on bemoaning our fate. The ‘chip’ may be useful in avoiding real responsibility or in hiding from trying out ones positive creativity or sexuality. Thus we avoid possible failure or further hurt. This is a form of blaming that puts all responsibility onto others.

Example: We all have so many feelings, like keys that can be pressed, and when pressed by outer influences such as social pressure, beliefs or things said to us, we can be played like a merry or awful tune. We react to them all in various ways.

And nearly all reactions are habits, and the trick of shifting them is to start a new habit. Such habitual responses may be built into us as instinctive reactions – to scary circumstances, feeling hurt, the fight, flight or freeze response and so on.

Other person as victim: May still be as above; the hurts and damage received from relationship with others; passive anger – by being the victim we get someone else to be a bastard and can thus sneer at them because we have manipulated them; hidden desires to avoid success, perhaps as a way of hurting parent.

See Avoid being a Victim –


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