Finding My Little Girl

“I feel as if I am falling down a hole into depression.” Tony is my ‘go to’ person so I told him my feelings.

“What’s happening?” he asked. I reminded him of what had been going on for me recently, which was dealing with a fraudster, heavy going.

“What are you feeling,” Tony asked.

“Sick in my stomach.”

“So stay with that feeling; don’t keep running away from what you feel”, he replied.

“I now feel as if my legs have became really heavy; also in my sexual area heaviness is growing.”

“So again, stay with it; and breath. Holding your breath is how we hold back our feelings. That way our natural healing cannot take place,” he said.

So I exaggerated my feelings. Then memories of childhood emerged, for at that age I felt there was no safe place for me as a child, always having to keep on guard and aware of my family’s needs. If I stayed aware of their needs I might not get attacked, emotionally or physically, because I came from a family with many complexes.

Then I suddenly felt aware of what a poor little girl I was, with no one to tell what I faced or to be able to ask questions. My family never shared what they felt, and so much was left unspoken. As a child I couldn’t make sense of what was happening.

But I am moving away from what I had experienced, that my inner child needed me care for her right now and to love her, because my family wasn’t capable of giving love and understanding I needed. So I am now trying to give love and care to that little girl me, love it never had. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/parenting-yourself/

I cannot explain in words all the emotions that welled up in me at the same time
With this shift in awareness I thanked Tony, “It’s what I do” he said.