Finding My Little Girl

“I feel as if I am falling down a hole into depression.” Tony is my ‘go to’ person so I told him my feelings.

“What’s happening?” he asked. I reminded him of what had been going on for me recently, which was dealing with fraudster, heavy going.

“What are you feeling,” Tony asked.

“Sick in my stomach.”

“So stay with that feeling; don’t keep running away from what you feel”, he replied.

“I now feel as if my legs have became really heavy; also in my sexual area heaviness is growing.”

“So again, stay with it; and breath. Holding your breath is how we hold back our feelings. That way our natural healing cannot take place,” he said.

So I exaggerated my feelings. Then memories of childhood emerged, for at that age I felt there was no safe place for me as a child, always having to keep on guard and aware of my family’s needs. If I stayed aware of their needs I might not get attacked, emotionally or physically, because I came from a family with many complexes.

Then I suddenly felt aware of what a poor little girl I was, with no one to tell what I faced or to be able to ask questions. My family never shared what they felt, and so much was left unspoken. As a child I couldn’t make sense of what was happening.

But I am moving away from what I had experienced, that my inner child needed me care for her right now and to love her, because my family wasn’t capable of proving love and understanding I needed. So I am now trying to give love and care to that little girl me, love it never had. See

I cannot explain in words all the emotions that welled up in me at the same time
With this shift in awareness I thanked Tony, “It’s what I do” he said.


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