I Had Been In That Direction A Thousand Times
And It Always Led to Self Destruction
Our ideas, thoughts and beliefs are the main builders of what we know as our self, and it creates a world we then live in. We build an inner world that few people realise they have, and that inner world constantly controls how they relate to and deal with the outer world, the people, animals and events we meet. Unfortunately we often build a terrible world inside us, and this leads to sickness, emotional pain, despair and depression. So whenever we think we are bad, awful looking, a failure, not loved, are a hateful person or worse thoughts – remember that you are building them into realities in you. You are building a hell for yourself by your beliefs, and thoughts. You need to recognise the power of these thoughts and in recognising them, say to your self, “I have taken this path of thoughts so many times and it always leads to the same place – emotional pain and turmoil – so why do I keep pushing this crazy button over and over”?
Example: I suffered torment for years, messing up my life, until a dream showed me what I had been doing. I had thought the pain and misery was from some earlier trauma but could not find one. And the dream showed me that it wasn’t a trauma but cultural programming that said that I was a bad father and also a bad husband, both true from a certain viewpoint.
The view that I was shown by the dream was that my pain was from habits created by the culture I grew up in. I realised that I could create a new life by changing the habits of a lifetime. But every time I left the house and my children the old habits started tearing me apart again. I stopped just outside the door and looked at the awful feelings. I had tried positive thinking and that didn’t work. What I saw and reminded myself was that I had gone down that road a thousand times and it always led to self-destruction. So by seeing that I decided to change the habit and reminding myself, not that I was a wonderful person, but that I was a human man, who did not want to make his wife suffer from my awful moods, and also I saw from the dream that we are always free to go in any direction, and that sense of freedom enabled me to start a new life.
It didn’t happen suddenly, but each day it got easier because I knew the attitudes and feeling that led to my misery and so tried another life direction. It was the recognition that my state of mind led me to self-destruction every time it took that road that resolved me to change outside the door.
The tremendous meaning and possibilities of that are amazing. Through the manipulation or observance of our own images, we can discover, trace, change our own innermost processes.
See https://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/opening-to-life/#Opening