Golden Wolf

An excerpt from House of the Ancestors

Within a couple of weeks I experienced a dream which shows the level of my involvement with Dakota. In the dream I was in a hospital ward holding a beautiful child born to Dakota and me.  Instead of hair it had downy feathers on its head, and even in the dream I knew this was because our child was gifted with the winged mind.  I kissed him on the head feeling the soft feathers with my lips.

Dakota was in an adjoining ward, but only separated by a low wall.  So as I held the baby she talked to me telling me something about her mother-in-law.

I woke from the dream with a very good feeling.  It showed that something special and beautiful had already risen from our relationship.  When I told Dakota about the dream she said, “My God, you didn’t take long to get me knocked up.”  Such is her humour.

The separating wall clearly indicated the nature of our relationship.  We can talk to each other but have no visual or physical contact.  That was clear enough without the dream, but the talk of the mother-in-law took my attention more fully to things I needed to be aware of at that time.  Dakota was married, and any attempt on my part to draw her away from her husband would not only deeply affect him, but would include all the other family connected to their marriage.  Our love needed to be tender and caring in a way many relationships are.  We needed to be non possessive without seeking immediate gratification.

Fortunately neither Dakota nor I are jealous people.  So we could give real support to each other’s individual needs.  My own jealousy had been burnt out in a previous relationship.  I had found that a love which allows the other person to live their own life in their own way, is much more satisfying and less painful than the grasping, controlling love of what appears to me as a long drawn out childhood form of relationship.

When I explored the feelings involved in our baby, I felt the core of the dream.  As the baby I knew myself to be what my parents had brought forth through their love.  In fact I was something not only living in them, but something that had separate existence also.  I knew myself as the power of a love that can exist despite distance, despite great age difference, despite the difficulties of one partner being married.  I am an expression of a love that has created a spiritual dimension, a form of awareness and connection that exists beyond the body.  I am the winged mind, leaping beyond the body’s limitations and boundaries.  I am a force independent of my parents, and will touch many lives, helping to create a meeting point beyond time and distance. Dakota and I named our child Golden Wolf.