Kimberly Calls You

My darling, I press into your world to help free you from the chains imprisoning you. You know they are there. You feel them when your world does not fully claim your attention. Memory comes like a gentle warm breeze. It carries the perfume of times when you were free, when you were part of all that you see around you. Then you were a being of power, a creator in the river of time. Remembering that when you feel the close walls of the prison you exist in now. You long to return home, to fly, to reach across and into vastness with your knowing, and in that longing you thrust yourself against your prison walls, only to fall back bruised.

But, soul of me that you are, you created those walls. It is your own strength and wonder you are bruised against, strength turned against yourself. And this is the difficult part, for all that you believe in the deepest and secret place of your being is made real. Because I touch you so lightly, and then perhaps only in your dreams, it is a struggle for you to believe in my reality. But take what strength you can from my presence, and listen.

The world you are born into, and the people in it, teach you from infancy that you are alone and separate. You are taught that objects are solidly real and unchangeable, that what you see and hear and feel is a truth you cannot change. Yet everything around you and within you is constantly moving and changing. Protruding through the apparently solid walls of your prison, of your world, are things that question what you hold as truth. People are healed of what were believed to be incurable ills. Has not your soul at times flown high like a bird, and known things beyond what your sense have seen, and your books told you? Wonders sparkle in the gloom of your cell. Take heart from them, for they are keys helping you to unlock the doors that hold you prisoner.

And remember this my love – rivers flow where they have once cut channels in the earth. New rains cut deeper river beds creating higher banks. So too, once your feelings have cut the channels of despair and anger, once the energy of your life has been a torrent of darkness, the habit of misery can be quickly formed. You are a creator, and child of Creation. The energy of Creation flows through you constantly in every thought, in every deed, in every feeling known. And by these things you make your world. What you believe becomes your life. And if your belief only encompasses the narrow limitations of your senses – so be it. Or, you can take the love I fold you in, and remember who you are – a formless spirit playing with creation learning to know your godliness.

There are so many things I want you to experience with me. But so often you are trapped in a web of words, and all you can see are the views of life that words can allow – and words are such narrow windows on the immensity you live within. Yet if words are the currency of your knowing, then I will weave words for you, hoping I may touch you through a story. It is a story about you, but perhaps one your mother never told you.

When you came into the world you left behind a twin – for your mother was carrying a boy and a girl, a male and a female. But your twin did not form a body in your world, and could not incarnate. Your twin was not simply another being in a separate body. They were all that you are not, and you are all they are not, and only together are you complete. And it is this lost twin that drives you to seek out love, that makes you yearn to return home, to be complete again.

Your twin was left behind because at some time you denied a part of yourself. In that denial you formed a body, a world, a way of life around it that is incomplete. And you are haunted by the desire for that love and wholeness you knew when you were together with your twin. In your despair you search for them constantly. You look into every face of those around you, hoping to find them. Yet in the dimness of your awareness you often do not even know for what you are searching. Perhaps you move from lover to lover in your search and your aloneness. Each time, in each relationships you attempt to recreate the love you know with your twin. But each time you fail, although every time you draw love out of yourself for another, you resurrect something of your own lost self. In your attempts to love, to forgive, to give something of yourself to the other, to support each other in the loneliness that is human life, you bring more of that twin to birth within you.

In your compassion for each other you begin to resurrect the denied part of yourself. You bring into your world the part of you that was lost, that was pushed away and wilfully denied for the sake of experience. Through such compassion you can become whole. Through loving another without grasping, without bending them to your will, can you become whole, can you find me again. For I, Kimberly, am the twin you lost.

Compassion, not romantic love, is the key to that door.

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There is another story, of a being who came to live in your world. This being was complete and was part of the creative work amongst the creatures of Earth. In witnessing the way the creatures loved and lived, how they needed each other to mate, and were in themselves incomplete, the being wondered what this would be like. It played in the great river of energy that is life on Earth, and pushed down a part of itself that it might know the incompleteness, the experience of being male or female. But the river carried the being along until it was indeed only part of its wholeness. In this way we have become women and men, who look to each other for some shadow of completeness. It is the story of Adam and Eve, who fell from their original state, and clothed themselves in skins, and were ashamed of what they had become.

But now I am calling you back. It is time for your return.

Come home!

Copyright ©2003 Tony Crisp