Fatherhood At Its Best
By Belden Johnson
A man loving himself and his future children enough to heal himself of his past wounds before he chooses a woman to conceive with.
A man nourishing himself by choosing a good woman and committing to a consciously-loving relationship into which to warmly welcome wished-for children.
A man nourishing his woman by speaking total truth, by taking 100% responsibility for his reality, by supporting her highest good as well as his own, by co-creating equally with her the safe nest of home and family.
A man who tells his 8-month pregnant wife how beautiful she is.
A man who creates lullabies to sing to his baby in the womb.
A man who also wants a home birth with a midwife and is completely present during the labor and delivery.
A man who protects children, male and female, from genital mutilation and sexual abuse.
A man who chooses to work half-time so he can parent half-time.
A man who changes all the diapers.
A man who dispenses with diapers and becomes the Permanent Pooper Scooper for as many years as it takes.
A man who loves skin-to-skin contact with his babies.
A man who welcomes a family bed.
A man who carries his baby in a Snuggli or a Gerry-pack.
A man who plays the piano with one hand while holding his baby with the other.
A man who kills his television and reads his children stories.
A man who wrestles with his children and always lets them win.
A man who coaches coed sports teams for his children and, when they ask who won, tells them that whoever had fun won.
A man who creates an alternative schooling for children who need it.
A man who will gladly teach and gladly learn.
A man who listens.
A man who says it’s okay to cry, or be afraid, or angry, or excited.
A man who can cry, be afraid, and be angry without violence or blaming.
A man who knows that he is the caretaker of Divine Souls who come “trailing clouds of glory” from God who is their home.
A man who celebrates his children’s differences from him and encourages them to become whoever and whatever they wish to become.
A man who, when the time comes, can let the birds fly the nest and bless them on their way out into the global family.
A man who fathers all children and weeps for the fatherless.
These images are true and real. Such fathers are now among us.
Bless them and their fatherhood!
* Report of the Fatherhood Vision Circle, Ninth International Congress of APPPAH, San Francisco, California Dec.6, 1999. You can reach Belden Johnson at johnson@gv.net.