Usually reappearance of infantile urges which have not yet developed, due to a fear or guilt, into more expansive expressions of sexuality. If these urges can be accepted in the dream, they usually begin to mature into adult sexuality.

Such dreams very seldom refer to physical incest, but to the desires we carry from infancy to possess or be in control of the love and body of our parents. As a baby we have a sense that nothing exists outside of ourselves – therefore everything should obey our desires. That it does not – that parents do other than we need of them is a shock that is a part of maturing.

Our infant emotions, uncensored by social rules and self consciousness, are enormously powerful, and wherever unsatisfied or unresolved are stored unconsciously. If we are to integrate the potential energy locked in these areas, we must meet some of the incestuous desires and transform them into adult love. Also from the child’s view it is at one with its mother and father, and has no sense of separation from them. This changes as it begins to become independent from its mothers influence. Then there is a longing to be one with the mother again, a longing for its lost world.

What is normal or approved in one culture is generally widely endorsed within it, but similar deeds may be seen differently in a second culture. But incest taboos seem to exist in every culture. The fact that taboos against incest, which develop naturally in a birth-family situation, may be absent in the stepfamily. Experts say that even if no one intends to behave in a seductive fashion, there is a possibility of sexual attraction between teenagers and their stepparents or step-siblings. Such feelings can be very threatening, especially to youngsters, and parents should be aware of this hazard. Such attractions may call for counselling.

However, we see from the numbers of incest between fathers and mothers and their children, that this is a huge problem in some families. A woman in a therapy group boasted about how she encouraged sex between her young son and herself. So it is not simply a problem between fathers and daughters.

“Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating forms of child abuse. Studies show that the majority of the offenders are trusted family members. Incest often goes unreported because its victims are warned not to tell, or if they tell they are not believed. Experts. define sexual abuse as not just forced sexual intercourse but “any sexual activity or touching that the perpetrators try to keep secret.

Whether the. child molester is a stranger or a family member, it’s important that a concerned adult listen closely to what a child may be trying to say about his or her abuser. Parents should focus on their child’s need and concerns, and they should remember that reacting hysterically can often be more upsetting to a child than the incident itself; but react they must, for the abuse has to be stopped.” Quoted from ABC’s of the Human Mind published by Readers Digest.

 Example: Presents the case of a 25-yr-old woman who was sexually abused as a child and had severe amnesia for the abuse. The case exemplifies the connection between intensity of amnesia and the event of early sexual abuse. It illustrates some of the long-term effects of untreated sexual reconstructing and reintegrating the traumatic memories of incest and their associated effects. In order to help the S forget and let go of trauma, a narrative was woven around the structure created by recovered memory fragments, and from such material as dissociative behavior, dreams, repetitions in life of patterns related to abuse, and transference. After 8 months of treatment, the S’s drinking, depression, and nightmares decreased significantly.

Useful Questions and Hints:

Is my dream of sex with a parent enjoyable or traumatic?

Does the dream and its realisations shock and disturb me?

Are their symbols like sex with and old man or woman in the dream?

See Techniques for Working your DreamsMartial Art of the MindLife’s Little Secrets


-Mark D 2017-04-10 14:28:59

When I was young 5 yrs and my dad was gone it was just me and my mom in the house I remember getting very aroused and warm and wanting to push my penis into my mom’s hips while hugging her, so I ran up and tried to do it casually so she wouldn’t notice but she did notice and she got this big smile and started pushing back. I knew that if I had kept touching parts of her I could have but I became terrified and broke off the hug pretending like it was nothing. Last night I had a dream where she kept finding me wherever I was and we kept having sex and it was really enjoyable and it was always just us two and no one bothered us. I have severe Don Juan pretensions in my waking life and I’ve been trying to resolve this issue for a while but I learned nothing from my dream. It’s the first time I’ve dreamed about mother in a positive light for a very very long time. Usually my dreams about mother are filled with octopi, old hags, and being trapped in constricting red tubes like birth canals. Normally my conscious mind would reject the happiness I received from the sort of dream I had last night but strangely I have felt no desire to reject it.

-Joana 2016-08-02 1:45:38

I dreamed about me and my cousin ( I just met him in the internet and have some conversation with him cause we have common surname and I just know that we are blood related ) but I treated him that though. So here’s what happened; me and my roommate are in that Island we are on vacation I presume or trap in that paradise but it’s like a resort thing. Why I tell that we are trap because my roommate left mi to find source how to leave that place. So I was left all alone and that’s how my cousin enter to the picture. He grabbed me and pulled me to that particular room. Begging me not to leave that place. And it’s shocked me because as he goes over to his talking. I realized one thing that he has a feelings on me. After that I told him that it was wrong because we’re not an item. And it’s against all odds and also I have a boyfriend that’s a waits for me way back home. Then he got furious and insisting his self physically to me already. I keep on resisting . It’s hard to move because he grabbed both of my hands. Until I was driven off to that scenario and so as he. But later to that I heard my self saying that it was really wrong and so I kicked his cock and punched him and run as p
Fast as I could. Until I finally saw my roommate also walking to me. But while I’m running I noticed that I was holding my cellphone that we can used to live that place. And I really got angry to my cousin why he lie because I got it from his place or to that room. Moving forward to my roommate, she told me that we can leave know through that boat and without any hesitation we ride to that. While stepping I looked back and saw the sad face of my cousin. I felt guilty of something. I don’t know. I just did.

But the worst is that the boat left without us because the destination of it is not our place. So in short we are no choice but to stay. So I decided to confront again my cousin later that night. But it failed again because he kept insisting his feelings to me. In the other hand, I did go really close to him because he’s drunk and I know what is the reason.

Morning comes I already decided that we will travel to land with my roommate. While on the other hand my cousin also have to go somewhere. While we run to the bus I noticed him about to ride to that car but he noticed me to so he stopped. And hopeful is written all over his face because we were running towards to his direction . But I ignored him . While we are already sitting. The collector wants to get our money so she can give us the tickets but when I was to get the amount I realized one thing that we don’t have money. In short we had no choice again but to stay. There’s always hedrance to escape to that place. I just want to consult because it feels so real I woke up exhausted and pained all over my body as if I run miles away from my place.

-fightergirl 2016-01-04 17:13:25

Hello, I woke up to a rather disturbing dream. I dreamed that I was in the room of the house where I grew up in, and I was trying to pee in a bucket in the room, when my deceased maternal grandfather appeared in front of me asking me to step over to him as he wanted to touch me inappropriately. (I have dreamed of him in the past but never in any inappropriate way. It was strange too that he spoke in the dream as he never speaks in my dreams.) I could recall that I was shocked in this dream because this is the grandfather who raised me and has never made me feel uncomfortable as a child in any way. I was his prize grandchild and he was so proud of me that he told everybody how much he was proud of his granddaughter for being so bright in school. The dream continued where I was so shocked that he would ask me something like that and I refused to step over. This grandfather would have never asked me something like that. The scene changed to an unknown scene when my deceased maternal grandmother appeared. She was very upset with me and didn’t want to talk to me as if though I did something wrong. Then as the dream continued, I realized that my mom and sisters, in fact the whole family was upset with me and not talking to me like I did something so bad. I couldn’t understand why. They all made me feel like they didn’t love me one bit. In fact they had me feeling like I had done something wrong and that they were disappointed in me, yet I couldn’t seem to figure out what it was. I felt so abandoned that I decided to just run away and stay with a friend who is a friend in my current life. In the dream I refused to let them know where I was. Then I woke up.

A little background about me:
When I was a little girl, I was fondled by a male adult family friend. Ever since that happened things were never the same for me. My parents nor family never knew, as the world never felt the same after that. I just couldn’t open up about it to the family. I grew up being called crazy for everything I did or said. Perhaps I had blocked out the world?
When I was 14 yrs old, I was molested by 2 uncles and a cousin from my dad’s side . To add to that, my paternal grandfather wanted me to kiss him at one point, which was quite inappropriate but I never told anyone. My paternal grandmother knew that I was being molested by one uncle who was her youngest son, but decided to spread a nasty rumor in the neighborhood that I was having an affair with one of the uncles. I am still upset with her that she would tarnish my reputation, instead of trying to protect me and deal with him being the adult. I grew up with all that shame and guilt for years.
I have seen a therapist for a year and have been doing well but sometimes the dreams do occur.

any insight about this weird dream would help. Thanks

-Michelle 2015-12-03 9:36:56

I am an incest survivor. My abuser was my older brother. It happened between the ages of 7-9. I have went through intense therapy over the last 3 years for that and other issues. I am in a really good place and feel really good about everything. I have let go of it all and really have no issues with any of it now. However, for the last 2 nights, I’ve been having dreams of consensual sex with my abuser. We are even talking and laughing like we are in a relationship. It’s very disturbing and I’m not quite sure what it means, as I’ve moved on, don’t want a relationship with my brother, am in a happy marriage with kids, and have forgiven.

    -Tony Crisp 2015-12-03 10:04:29

    Michelle – You forget that in dreams you are in a very different level of mind than in waking. So you are dealing with your inner world and not the outer event. See

    Another point that most people are not aware of is that you have an inner brother quite distinct from your outer brother. Remember that because you were together for a while there is no way you can ‘have nothing to do’ with someone you have been intimately involved with. It doesn’t work like that. Most people are often totally unaware of the massive experience they take in during a relationship and how it interacts with. In other words, the memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event.

    So you are meeting the inner memories and influence in you. Also in dreams we try to heal and synthesise what we hold inside us. So your dreams are actually healing and coming to terms with the influence of the past. You cannot escape from your past but you can find healing.

    The sex with your brother is not with him, but with the memories left in you. It is a way of feeling okay about the past – but it doesn’t mean you are okay about your external brother.

    It is a sign that there is no longer any hurt in you that could cause you further upset. Remember that it is just and image, and why should you get upset by an image of having sex – unless you still have things you haven’t worked through yet?


-Recovery 2014-11-20 20:20:50

Tony… I would hate to ever my father would do such a thing! I do know a good portion of my childhood, my younger years, I only remember very little. I wanted to go under hypnosis to find out everything that happened to me, in my childhood . I want to have a peace of mind. I am haunted by what if I was traumatized some how. I want to know. Both my parents are deceased.

    -Tony Crisp 2014-11-21 8:44:29

    Reovery – Dreams are a natural way of meeting and dealing with things that have been hidden inside of us. You do not need to go in search if such things because we cannot really meet them until we have strength to do so.

    Your dream shows that the problem it illustrates is on the way out – whether it illustrates a truth or a lie it will slowly reveal itself. You dreamt it because you are now strong enough.


-Reovery 2014-11-19 22:45:00

Tony… Hello, I had a very disturbing dream last night, in regard to a family of color. I was somewhere I do not remember. I remember a women and a man and a girl . I do not know ages, The little girl was in elementary school, I believe. The girl had wet the bed and the mother was questioned about it. I remember the girl was taken to be examined and the mother was questioned. I only remember bits and pieces , of dream. I remember some other women held the girl and had her go back in memory to try to have the girl remember the incident. She mentioned her father had penetrated her . When she spoke on this, she cried, and the women held her and the man was arrested. The women was in disbelief .I remember I held the girl and praised her. on telling the other women what she remembered . When the little girls father was arrested and put in handcuffs and put in the police car. The girl cried. I do remember a bunch of colorful balloons being released into the sky.

    -Tony Crisp 2014-11-20 9:28:09

    Reovery – I hope you have read and realising that virtually every dream image relates to you. So the coloured family and young girl represent the natural side of yourself or someone near to you.

    The girl wetting the bed is representing a problem that started at a young age and points to some level of sexual activity between the father and you or a member of your family.

    I know of a number of people who have had such experiences and at first they cannot even remember because as a child we have a way of protecting us by blotting out the memory.

    Obviously I am simply saying what I believe the dream says.


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