We can be crushed by difficult events, by an accident, by criticism or even by our own moods. Sometimes we allow parts of us such as love, creativity or sex slide into non-use or are crushed. See Avoid Being Victims
Many dreams of lovers are a painful and often desperate affair where the dreamer longs for the attention and ‘love’ of someone she or he has a crush on. These are often a natural part of growth where in dreams we wrestle with powerful emotions until we emerge with more mature responses. See Beware of Love.
Losing someone is often described as crushing one, but that is usually because we have a mistaken idea of what death it. The example describes this.
Example: I lost a very good friend. Two weeks before her death I told her loved her like I loved my Grandmother. When she died, I was crushed…..I had to get totally to my self to cry. I cried my eyes out….She came to me and told me to stop crying, she was happy and fine. I asked her” What does it feel like to be dead.” She said to me ” Don’t be afraid of death, it’s like a DREAM. Don’t worry about me…..I am happy.” I have never worried about her again….and I don’t worry about dying either.
Often it is our own inbuilt attitudes, probably from our culture or parents, that do the damage. The following is from a young woman who believes that if she has a baby outside of marriage it will be taken from her. This strikes right at the heart of a young woman’s emerging womanhood. Having a baby is the epitome of femininity and being female. The fact that your babies are taken by force is an awful demonstration of crushing you as a woman, and also making you feel powerless. The fact she was naked and felt like an animal giving birth strengthens the theme of her facing the most primitive feelings of motherhood. And I do not mean primitive in a negative sense.
Example: My friend and I have been having these dreams where we are both pregnant. In mine, my babies are always taken away from me. (They are twins.) I don’t want to let them go but they are forcefully taken and sometimes I am forced to get an abortion. Sometimes I feel helpless and like an animal giving birth I have no clothes on and I’m constantly being watched. Afterwards the twins are immediately taken. I fight and scream for them but I am always overpowered by something. I’m fourteen and a virgin.
A crush on a person can also crush your feelings and sensitivities.
Example: I’ve had a crush on this guy for 6 or 7 years, and we’ve been best friends (fell through for a year but got right back on track). The dream ‘occurred’ about two/three weeks after him and his girlfriend (quite… well she’s not exactly the faithful looking/sounding/acting/etc. type) break up (dream was about a week ago, currently they are still together). I don’t quite know what all happened, but I wake up in my own bed, opposite side of where I am ALWAYS on, laying across him. He’s shirtless, has his arm around me resting kind of on my shoulder.
Many people can recover from crushing life experiences or inner despair by knowing that we all have a process that can bring relief. Such compensation may also be used to deal with things missing from ones life, such as a sexual partner or social achievement. See Life’s Little Secrets; Dead Husband or Ex
Depending upon the culture we were raised in, we can unconsciously put an image to the power of change and transformation that we experience. People in all ages, all cultures and all social circumstances have experienced what is often felt to be a divine influence touching them in some way.
I believe through observation that such long held and powerful traditional beliefs are based on something functional. The description of compensation is an example of this. To be able to survive crushing life experience is a real achievement, not an imagined one, and is therefore functional. Using an image to evoke hope and motivation doesn’t make it less of an achievement. But the idea of a saviour or holy figure links with patterns of love and strength actually lived by others. They are then patterns remaining in the collective experience of us and can be accessed. When we touch these powerful racial memories we may clothe them in the image of our cultural hero or saviour.
Useful Questions and Hints:
Does you dream show you a way out of the crushing experience?
If not see Incubating a Dream.
Are you aware of what led to the feeling?
Is it shown as someone else being crushed?