Leave a Comment

Cuddle Cuddling

In most dreams where cuddling occurs it is usually a woman cuddling with love and care a baby, probably new born. This represents the flowering of or expression of a caring love that is without and sexual overtones. But because it may be a dream about a new born baby I suggest reading A Woman’s Creative Power

Cuddling can also be a stage of mature love in a relationship and is about comforting and loving a partner without being sexual as in the example. This is often the pure sensual and pleasurable contact between people of any sex, as in the second example.

Example: I laugh and reassure him it’s not going to hurt. I ask him if he could be my friend. He laughs and says, “We’re sleeping together and you want to know if we can be friends?” I laugh. By now we’ve agreed he and I are sleeping together alone, but just as plutonic friends. We cuddle and giggle like teens. I feel something wet on my nightgown and realize it is semen emission, either leakage or he had an orgasm. We both start giggling uncontrollably like teens in a library. It’s so ironic that we’ve agreed to be friends, and sleep together and then he has an emission.

Example: Paulina is upset. I want to hold her. She resists and I say, “I want to hold you because I need it.” She says impatiently, “OK, but let me turn around,” and so turns her back on me to be able to cuddle spoon-like. I put my arms around her, being careful not to touch her breasts. I accidentally brush them. I hug her and rock her to soothe her. I like our position because I’m not face to face with her emotion. I see her/my face reflected in a window.

Then there is a form of cuddling that emerges from our unmet baby needs.

Example: When I was about four years old I was looked after by an elderly woman while my mother went to work. One day I was in the house and the woman’s’ daughter came in. I stood watching her as she was in the dining room. Then I saw something that has remained in me forever. The daughter had a split up the side of her blouse, and through the split I could see her firm bare breast. Seeing it I felt an enormous hunger that filled my stomach, chest and mouth. I wanted to go to that breast and cuddle and suckle it.

Example: “I went across the road to where my mother’s sister lived. I wanted to cuddle her and touch her bare breasts, but we never seemed to manage this. There were always interruptions or blocks.” Sid L.

At these deep levels of fantasy and desire, one has to recognise that the first sexual experience is – hopefully – at mothers breast. This can be transformed into later fantasies / dreams / desires of penis in the mouth; or penis in vagina; or penis as breast, mouth as vagina. At a certain stage of development the emotional bond and cuddling is more important.

Cuddling and being held in the way a mother holds her baby is such a primal thing it often has a sense of holiness or uplift in it as in the next example.

Example: The shepherd’s has a staff. He takes the staff and reaches out beyond the periphery of the cave to the pew in the church where I am kneeling and crooks the staff around my neck, pulling me inside the cave. At first I am frightened and pull away from him. I tug at the staff but it is no use and I am drawn inside the cave. Once there I am a different person… everything inside me seems to be connected and I feel very sure of my actions. I reach down into the cradle of straw and cuddle the Baby in my arms. His Mother smiles her approval but as she does so her smile changes into that of the Hermit and then into the cherubic face of the small Baby God … they are all one… I am deeply moved and wake up crying.


Useful Questions and Hints:

Am I the one being cuddled or am I the cuddler?

What do you feel was behind or leading to the cuddle?

What sort of love was being given or received?

See Ages of LoveLearning to LoveTechniques for Exploring your Dreams

Copyright © 1999-2010 Tony Crisp | All rights reserved