Boyfriend or Ex
Dreaming about your boyfriend is usually about your emotional feelings, attachment to, or fears about the boyfriend. This includes the difficulties, struggles with feelings and sexuality felt in connection with boyfriend or other males. It might also be your insights into his behaviour. Please read Ages of Love
Boyfriend dreams often have an element either of fear or dreaming of possibilities. In other words the dream explores what you fear might happen in the relationship, and what you hope will happen. See Inner People
Example: I constantly have a dream that me and my best friend/boyfriend of 3 years just suddenly aren’t together. I never know why, but I am either with another guy or simply alone and just have this horrible feeling in my stomach, and know it’s not right. In my dream I get upset my bf never called or contacted me after breaking up, and I never know why we ended either. The dream ends with me giving in and trying to find a way to call him but then I wake up. The obvious conclusion would be I think I belong with my bf, but is there anything else possibly?
This is a wonderful example of how the mind works, and the play between what we allow ourselves to think – our conscious mind – and what we do not allow ourselves to know – our unconscious. As an example of this here is another young woman’s dream.
Example: During my teens I was engaged to be married when I found a more attractive partner and was in considerable conflict. Consistently I dreamt I was at my fiancé’s funeral until it dawned on me the dream was telling me I wanted to be free of him. When I gave him up the dreams ceased. I don’t understand what this means, and its really bothering me. Why am I dreaming of this? Can you help me understand the meaning of these dreams?
Each person we spend time with, fall in love with, make love to or grow up with, or even with animals, we develop an incredible and often invisible bond. For instance many women and men write and ask why they keep dreaming of partners, parents of even old friends they have moved on from. You keep dreaming about your ex from years ago or old friends because while you lived with them you experienced millions of memories, situations, conflict and learning experiences. So you carry them with you as memories, lessons learnt, love or anger still trying to find a way of being absorbed.
So in a way it is not your husband, ex or others you are dealing with but yourself – we dream about them and use them as a symbols of what we picked up from the relationship. We cannot have a mass of experience with someone and move away without it influencing us. Life is, in a very real way, a learning experience, and every new experience has to be fitted into what we are learning.
Cheated on: Many dreams of this are sent and here is an example:
Example: In my dream I’m with my ex girlfriend (who I still hang out with) we are hanging out being really close and lovey on each other. Then I leave the room for something and when I come back she is with a man. In this reoccurring dream she is always with a different guy and I don’t know who any of them are. When I walk in they are really close to each other and holding hands sometimes she is sitting on his lap. In my dream it always breaks my heart and I tell her how I feel and she acts like she doesn’t care. Then I wake up. In real life we were together for 2 years and I’m a girl. While we were together she cheated on me with men. We still hang out today but we are just friends with benefits.
This type of dream is usually from a young woman who either sees her boyfriend with another man or has powerful suspicions that he is seeing someone else. The dreamer is actually meeting her unresolved feelings of jealousy, of feeling not as good as the other person and not being lovable.
Ex-lover/boyfriend: This frequently shows any feelings or hopes still connected with him. The ex-boyfriend or lover often becomes a symbol for all the hopes for love that are not being satisfied at the moment, or in the present relationship. Sometimes it is a way of digesting or living in the past. It may occur in some dreams that the ex-lover is seen as a dead body, or a murder is involved. This is usually because we are killing, or have killed some of our longings and love for that person.
Example: Although married for almost nine years, I have been dreaming almost every night about an old friend. We used to date twelve years ago, but although we still meet occasionally, our relationship now is purely platonic.
About two weeks before I found out he was getting married I had a dream where he handed me a single red rose and said ‘I love you, but the time’s not right’. In the latest dream I was reading a paper with the heading ‘Broken Hearted Babies’, with a picture of both of us as babies, with our names underneath. Amanda – Teletext.
Obviously Amanda still has unfulfilled longing and dreams in regard to her ‘old friend’. Even so it is worth reading the things in the previous section.
Example: I dream I am in a room with my ex-boyfriend – Gary. I feel scared about having sex with him but want him to show me all the excitement and thrill of sex. I love him but can’t tell him how much I want the enjoyment of his body closer to mine. You are the first person I can write to telling about having sex with my ex-boyfriend. Donna – Lancs.
Relationships are complicated and here Donna is experiencing the conflict of wanting him yet being separated. Remember that dreams are like computer games I which you can be killed, make love a thousand times, and come away none the worse – unless of course you feel that what happened was exactly like waking life. Then you would have the sort of questions and dilemmas you are telling me about. See Dreams Like a Computer Game; Dreams are a reflection of your inner world.
Daughter’s boyfriend: This may illustrate your judgements and feelings about the boyfriend.
Male dreaming of boyfriend: Usually this is about the qualities of weaknesses you witness in your friend. See the entry on Characters and People in Dreams to understand this. It can also be about the reasons you have become friends, and the intricacies of the relationship.
Useful Questions and Hints:
If this is about a past love, what do I honestly now feel about him and why?
Do the events in the dream show what I fear – and if so can I honestly see them as fears, not reality?
What relationship situation does the dream depict, and how does this comment on waking life?
See Growing Up to Love – People Animals and Objects of our Dreams are Projections
Comments
Hello, I keep having dreams that me and my boyfriend broke up and he changed his number and I just can’t seem to get ahold of him and people in my dream are telling me he’s found someone else. Is this just my insecurities or what?
Please help thanks!
Hello, I keep having dreams that me and my boyfriend broke up and he changed his number and I just can’t seem to get a hold of him and people in my dream are telling me he’s found someone else. Is this just my insecurities or what?
Please help thanks!
Shelby – It is usually not your ex you are dreaming about, but your worries about him. As you say, it is probably you insecurities. Lease see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions/
Tony
Hi Tony,
I had a dream I was in a relationship with my ex. I was confused as to how I got back with him. IT was a destructive relationship. I was seeking ways to break up with him. My sisters, who hated him in the past, were thrilled to see him in my life and kept talking about how fun and adventurous he was. We were on a couch and I told him I loved him even though I knew the words were a lie. And he turns to look at me and tells me,” I know you don’t love me, I can tell by the way you look at me, with disgust.” I’m speechless because it is the truth and still try to figure out why we are together and how I can end it. This is the 2nd dream I’ve had within a month. The relationship ended 5 years ago.
hi, I’m just kinda confused bout my dream, had a dream that my boyfriend was having sex with another girl twice. First was with my own sister and the second one was with a total stranger (african/black american). The first one, I caught them myself when i got home, he and my sister were having sex. The second one was he sent a video clip on my phone of him having sex with that black girl. Why do i keep on having this kind of dream about my boyfriend? thanks
Aley – It is probably because you feel a lot of uncertainty about your own value, and so you keep having dreams in which you feel uncertain about your own lovability and of your boyfriend love for you.
This is the number one dreams of young women with boyfriends. So please try the following – http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/peer-dream-group/#carryforward
Tony
Had a dream about suspecting my boyfriend of sleeping with a not so close friend. He has cheated before, and sense then tried to make up for it..but my trust in him is hanging by a tread. He is jail at the moment and when this dream accord. I have also had the stress of deciding if I want to still remain in this relationship or not. I do love him…more than you all would ever know, however, I’am sick for answers as to what should be done.
Veronica – Often I would say that this is due to your uncertainty that you are loved. But your circumstances suggest you need real answers. So I can only suggest you read http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/learning-to-love/
Tony
Hello, I keep having dreams that me and my boyfriend broke up and he changed his number and I just can’t seem to get ahold of him and people in my dream are telling me he’s found someone else. Is this just my insecurities or what?
Please help thanks!
i have dreams about my ex boyfriend every night. In them we are never back together but we are happy like we would be, and i try talk to him about how much i need him back, but, i never can. I either get shut down or no reply.
I am trying desperately to get over him, i still love him and he was the first guy o break up with me (ever) and I’m not sure what do do to get him out of my life.
-please help
Erica – You keep dreaming about your ex because while you lived with him you experienced millions of memories, situations, conflict and learning experiences. Then his departure was a full stop/period at the end.
So in a way it is not your ex you are dealing with but yourself, the feelings and memories and things you learnt. We cannot have a mass of experience with someone and move away without it influencing us. Life is, in a very real way, a learning experience, and every new experience has to be fitted into what we are learning. You will continue to dream until you find satisfaction.
Therefore there is no way you can ‘have nothing to do’ with someone you have been intimately involved with. So I would suggest you integrate all the good things from your relationship with him; because your dreams about him are you meeting your feelings. And if you do not do this the negative memories or desires for him will keep coming back. So try doing this by taking the dream images of your ex and pulling him back into your body. Yes, literally making him one with you. Do this slowly and allow any feelings that arise. This may sound strange but all the images in our dreams are projections from us onto the screen of our sleeping mind; so taking them back into you is like owning them and integrating them. It is called honouring the life we lived.
Tony
My friend and I, we are Pagan, My friend prayed te other night for an answer as to what she should do about this certain way she feels about an ex who constantly mistreats her, the she had a dream that she ran him over with her car that night. What could this mean, I’m certain that she shouldnt really run him over lol
Kelly – Remember that dreams are much like computer games. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/your-dreams-and-understanding-this-site/#Computer
So that your friend dreamed of running over her ex is simply and expression of how she felt and what she wanted to do – kill out anything to do with the ex. However there is even a better way.
Your friend keeps dreaming about her ex because while she lived with him she experienced millions of memories, situations, conflict and learning experiences.
So in a way it is not her ex she is dealing with but herself. We cannot have a mass of experience with someone and move away without it influencing us. Life is, in a very real way, a learning experience, and every new experience has to be fitted into what we are learning. So it is better to digest it See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/digest/
There are ways of actually digesting the experience and taking in what strengthens you and passing out the rubbish. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions/#DifficultR
Tony
i dream that my boyfriend is having sex with his ex girlfriend
Marie – This is almost certainly your own fear of not being loved – or not being as lovable as his old girlfriend. See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/beware-of-love/
Tony
I had a dream that my boyfriend and I were suppose to go to a fair together, but his ex-girlfriend suddenly showed up, and he chose to go with her and left me behind, please help me to interpret this dream. Thank you
Last week i dream about my boyfriend and i were having fun together at the pool and we hug together after that then he disappeared, what does it mean? And i also dream that my boyfriend having sex with other girl and he said he want to leave me, it really broke my heart when i woke up, what does my dream means?
I had a dream but boyfriend confessed he still had slight feelings for his ex . Should I be concerned ? I worry that he still might have feelings for her since he broke up with her over a year ago and it was his high school girlfriend and they dated for about 4 yrs. What should I do ?
Lovey – First of all realise that most healthy men have a very full fantasy life. Often they do not talk about it. The fantasy life of many women is about having a man in their life who is theirs alone. The man can fantasy about many women. It doesn’t mean he will act upon his fantasies.
It takes a very mature and experienced woman who acknowledges what a man is and is not jealous of his fantasies. Virtually every woman I have met becomes crucified when a man just looks at another woman. I know because it was an arrow that killed love in my marriage. See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/beware-of-love/
What can you do – be the love that he wants all the time.
Tony
i had a dream that me and my boyfriend went on vacation with his family then his moms tell him that i was having sex for money -_- , what can this dream possibly mean ?!
I had a dream that I was “two timing” my current boyfriend and someone else who I didn’t know. The guy I didn’t know proposed to me and started living with me. Then for some odd reason my brother was in my dream and opened my eyes, he asked me why I was with him and why he was living with me. In the end, I had a thought about my EX boyfriend, saying “if only I stayed with…” though I didn’t finish the sentence, I knew who i was gonna say. But then my head thought again, and I said ” I guess I’ll just stick with him” who is my current boyfriend in real life. And I was gonna call off the engagement with the unknown person. And yes, in my dream my current boyfriend was my current boyfriend but he just wasn’t seen or maybe was away? Please let me know what this means. Thank you.
I had a dream this morning that my ex showed me her office. I noticed that her pictures were all about herself in the whole room. what does it mean? she has a current boyfriend but I hear that their relationship has troubles already.
Christy – We very seldom dream about someone else – you use her image to say something about yourself that perhaps you didn’t want to know about yourself.
In the world of dreams our most intimate fears and longings are given an exterior life of their own in the form of the people, objects and places of our dream. Therefore our sexual drive may be shown as a person and how we relate to them; or given shape and colour as an object; or given mood as a scene. Our feeling of ambition might thus be portrayed as a business person in our dream – our changing emotions as the sea or a river; while the present relationship we have with our ambition or emotions is expressed in the events or plot of the dream.
So what is your dream saying about you?
Tony
My girlfriend just told me about a dream she had.
In it we were both running away together from an attacker with a gun. Think she said he was somming from a car can’t remember.
What would this mean? We are having difficulties at the moment.
Thanks.
Bobby