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Characters or People in Dreams
Harry Bosma, who produces the best selling Alchera dream interpretation software, says of characters:
There must have been some dreams that made you wonder why some known person showed up in it. Especially if you haven’t seen that person for years. I have this all the time. Everyone I ever met in my life keeps showing up in my dreams. I can’t blame day residue for it. If somebody appears in my dream, there has to be a special reason for it.
I’ve been entering characters in my symbol book for a long time. Let me introduce you to a few. There’s Peter, one of my strongest helpers. He showed up riding on a horse in my ‘Cracking The Ice’ dream. Riding the horse he managed to crack the ice on a small lake, something I was unable to do on my own. I had to think for a while before I understood exactly why he appeared in my dream. Peter went to the same elementary school as I. One thing I eventually remembered about him was his inventiveness. Having realised that I use the appearance of Peter in a dream as a clue to consider whether I need to think of a more ingenious approach to an issue I am confronting.
There’s Frits, whose role I only recently got to understand. I could never see any pattern in the dreams he appeared in. Frits is a high school acquaintance, somebody who was often around, even though we weren’t really friends. I never fully understood it at the time. But it recently hit me that he was especially around when I was rebelling against the boredom of high school. He was having fun whenever I broke the rules, or did something else exciting. With that insight, looking back at the dreams, there is a pattern. Whenever my behaviour in a dream is more active than usual, he is around. He is the part that is having fun, because I’m not aware that I’m having fun myself.
Apart from defining how you see one of your dream characters, and what relationship you have had to them in the past, as Harry suggests, it helps to simply consider how you feel about them, what characteristics are most important or noticeable to you. But occasionally it isn’t what you see in their own character, but what you feel about them. For instance a person who has frequently appeared in my dreams is a woman called Ann. I felt a lot of sexual attraction to Ann – although she may have felt nothing for me – and she appears in my dreams whenever loving feelings or closeness are being dealt with.
A man I used to work for, Leo, has appeared in dreams where a problem regarding outer activity was concerned. So Leo has represented difficulties I face in the world.
But many characters in dreams are not people you have ever met or known, not even characters from films, plays or books. So you cannot look back on them and ask yourself what you observed or felt about them. In such cases it is most helpful to imagine yourself as that character and describe who you are, exactly as you are and how you act in the dream – as the dream character. As an example of this, one character in a dream, and old man, was dying. He was nobody I knew. When I imagined myself as him and described what I felt, and what was happening to me, it was clear he represented the experience I was facing at the time of letting my old life, my old self, die. This was difficult but it was happening, and the dream helped me clarify what I was facing.
One of the most helpful ways to find the qualities of a dream character is to give them a name. For instance you might basically feel that a man you have seen or know slightly seems a practical outwardly capable person. So you could give him the name of Mr. Practical. Mr practical therefore is your ability in dealing with everyday life, or outward activities. There could also be Mr Sexy, Miss How Do I Look, and so on. Naming characters gets easier if you stand in their role imaginatively as described above.
But remember that a word in a sentence changes meaning, even subtly as it is placed in a different context. The word light, for instance, can be used by saying, “I switched on the light.” Or we can say, “I felt very light-hearted.” Or even, “There was no light.”
Each of these brings about a different sense of surroundings or events. Similarly, the context of a character in your dream may change what you have defined of his or her qualities. So you must look to the context to get the final understanding as to what you dream character indicates in that particular dream.
A person who appeared in many of my dreams was a woman named Su. My relationship with Su was one in which I had been trying to learn to love her without being possessive or grasping. So in my dreams she always seemed to depict my attempts to love in that way, or my attempts to learn a fuller love.
In one dream Su is shown paddling a dingy to a local town, where I am going to meet her. But there were difficulties about this. At the time of the dream I was dealing with a lot of people in very direct relationships, and Su in this dream shows that I still haven’t ‘met’ or integrated the ability to love without grasping or wanting to posses. The difficulty in the dream suggests that I find it difficult to express this more open love.
In a later dream, experienced just after I had led a weekend activity, I dreamt Su was visiting or with us. But she didn’t look like Su at all, being dark, indecisive and a weaker personality. I was talking with her, or just with her, when I realised that Mike (a close friend) was upstairs with Brenda. He had arrived back from America. I wanted him to meet Su. I wanted to hug him, but I also wanted Su to see me do this. So although I hug him with love, there was also something of the purposely done thing about it.
Here Su is actually with me, in my house, so this is an entirely different context than with the previous dream. This shows a fuller integration with unconditional love. But the part at the end where I hope Su will see me ‘loving’ Mike points out that I am still moved by desires for acclaim and public attention.
So to summarise, consider each character and discover what qualities, faults, weaknesses or strength they depict for you. Give them a name, as this helps you remember their quality. But look to the context of the dream to find the detailed and changing expression of what the character depicts.
Comments
Thanks for this great article. My question in a nutshell is: why are people from my very distant past popping up in dreams in which I’m dealing with the angst re: a failed relationship and my wanting reconciliation.
2 nights ago I dreamt that Jimmy brought Jacob and Benjamin back to me. We were in an unfamiliar room(ie, not his house nor mine)…..I was so deeply touched and happy to be reunited with them. He then morphed into this doctor I knew as a young nurse almost 30 years ago. Upon giving my thanks to Jimmy, Bob Shelly, replacing Jimmy said: “yeah, you are my hero.” And the dream ended.
I woke up feeling like it was a wish-fulfillment dream and not a prognosticator of what was to come.
Bob was someone that everyone loved…a funny, smart, deeply caring person. He also indeed, did have much respect for me as a nurse. He told me more than once…Bob was married and I definitely had a girlie crush on him and I believe he did for me too but it was so, so innocent. More like we enjoyed each other’s company, sense of humor and I too very much respected him as a pediatrician. We worked well together as a team. Because he was several years older, I recognized it as a “I’d love to marry someone like him someday” kind of crush. Was wiser in my younger days!!!!
We’ve not been in contact in over 20 years.
This is the 2nd dream that someone from my very past has shown up in a dream re: Jimmy. The last one was about 10 days ago. He and I were on the phone and I could feel his deep resistance to reconciliation. He abruptly disappeared and then a young woman from my Boston days appeared. In a tone in which it was evident that she felt badly for me, she confirmed that indeed Jimmy did not want reconciliation. I woke up feeling so awful because I knew this was TRUE. It verified what my heart has known and or feared.
I don’t even remember her name right now. She was at least 10 years younger than I, with very blond hair and attended Harvard’s Divinity school. I knew her through the artists collective we both belonged. We had a warm but not a close relationship.
I thought it was weird that she would be the messenger of this bad news but until this most recent dream with Bob Shelly, didn’t put too much thought since the message seemed clear.
I thought I has already answered this, but having searched could not find any signs of doing so. So here it is.
Elisabeth – I feel I want to change the wording in which you describe your first dream. Maybe not ‘wish fulfilment’ but a satisfaction provider dream.
I believe that dreams arise from our deepest needs, and one of your deep needs was to be a mother for those two boys. As that was cut off, so what can you do with it? So to even up your inner needs you had this dream. Also, if you can believe that dreams happen in another dimension that often is not limited by time and space, then you could go on giving love and care to the boys. Obviously that is not the same as being physically present, but it can be a great aid, not an imaginary escape.
Then the end of the dream about Bob seems to be along the same lines. It is very healing and sustaining, but only if you let the feelings it showed you live on within you to replace the hurt feelings. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYYXq1Ox4sk and http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/habits/
As for the woman and what she says, it is impossible for me to know your associations with her. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/characters-or-people-in-dreams/ . But it seems as if it is something about honesty. And as you say you felt the truth of what was said. Interesting that the healing dream came first. And that message is clear.
Tony
why in my dream i always see my teacher(woman)? i am a girl there is no situation to be in love with her or something like that :p but i see her like my mother…does it make any sense?
Meni – Yes it makes perfect sense. We have a secret often hidden life, made up of figures that represent things we need or of what supports us. When we are young we are so vulnerable it is almost certain we get hurt or feel misunderstood. So it seems as if the teacher represent feelings in you that give you support – as you mother should have.
Probably you want someone to be strong for you. That doesn’t mean you are in love with her, just that you feel she has qualities you feel are good. A male friend of mine, who had a weak father and a neurotic mother, copied a male teacher so much because he was so much more a man, that he even copied his handwriting. So it is quite a frequent thing.
Tony
thank you very much you really helped me
. but now i am leaving junior high school and i am going to high school and i will not see her again….right now i am so unhappy but i will forget it some day!(i hope)
Thank you for saying so Meni. Different environment help us learn and change. So I wish you well.
Tony
hi, i don’t know in which page to go and ask you why my mother makes me fell angry when she talks,when she laugh even when she is breathing(she makes me sick) but in fact my mother is a very good person and she loves me…. i dont know whats going on!
Eli – This almost certainly is a way we use to push us away from our mother. Not that you wish it consciously, but that it is a method we use when we want to be independent. The thing is that for most of your life you have been dependent on her, and so you are in conflict – you want to leave but at the same time you want your own life. But you cannot see a way of doing it, so you have feelings that you is unbearable and these make you want to be away form her.
If it isn’t that, then you are harbouring feelings from childhood that it would be good to own up to.
Tony
thank you a lot… i hope to stop feeling like that!!!
Elli – Try to find ways you can feel more independent and choosing what you want to do. Or get a pillow and call it mom and beat the hell out of it.
Tony
I rarely remember my dreams, but I remember this dream easily. I dreamed of a dead (male) relative maybe a uncle or cousin, that passed possibly before i was born, or when I was small child, however I didnt know him “like that”. We were talking, something like a old man to young woman. It was like he was giving advice or something. I was not scared, I remember giving responses like yes sir or I know. The whole dream was mostly him smiling and talking. After waking up i was a little nervous simply because i knew i had just had a conversation with a dead man in my dream like it was nothing! I could’nt find any answers related to this type of dream. can you help?
Elmyra – This definite sounds like a fairly direct communication dream with a dead relative.
Why were you nervous about the dead? Is it because you have absorbed information that holds fear in it?
Being dead is like losing the body and remaining conscious, but without all the limitations that the body imposed on us. So instead of being imprisoned in one place and one time you have the freedom of moving beyond time and space – and that gives you a lot of options about what you know or can gain insight into.
I would like to hear what he communicated to you, and was it helpful?
Maybe you could benefit from reading this book http://www.amazon.com/Closer-Light-Melvin-Morse/dp/0804108323/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1307353595&sr=1-1-fkmr0
Tony
Hi sorry for bothering you again , months ago i told you that i see all the time my teacher in my dreams….well i still see her and she follows me in my dreams in every place i go,i mean that when i dream that i am in a hospital she appears there or in a hotel she appears there to .Yesterday i saw that she was hurt and i became sad when i looked at her foot which was with bandages.The point is that the scool have been closed for over 3 months
When i am awake i can barely remember her face but in my dreams i see her too clear even the details…….whats going on?????????
Meni – It’s good to see you here again, so it is no bother.
She obviously represents a really important thing that needs to be met and sorted out. Obviously it has to do with you, and her hurt foot suggest you are not finding it easy to get about in your life at the moment.
But you can find out for yourself by using the feature here – but particularly the section titled Being the Person of Thing – http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/
Take time with it and see what you discover.
Tony
Dear Tony,
I am here again to share another dream.
There is a character that has been appearing in my dreams for nearly 20 years. He is a real person I knew in University. After reading your explanation on characters I have decided to call him “Mr. Perfect.” He appears when I have heartache related to my relationships with men. His appearances often tell me exactly what is going on. He not only tells me the truth but predicts the truth as well. I never know when he will show up in my dreams but when he does, I know I can trust him. Although I am still in contact (superficially) with Mr. Perfect (the real person) I think he represents a male guardian angel who consoles me when I am confused.
I’ve always wondered why this man, whom I had a crush on 20 years ago but with whom I would never have a relationship with, has had so many recurring roles in my dreams. Thank you again for your guidance.
Many blessings… Keren