Kill Killed Killing

Being killed: An interior or exterior influence which you feel is ‘killing’ – undermining, making ineffective, strangling, choking – ones self confidence, or sense of identity.

Killing oneself: In the example the dreamer has killed himself in some way and is becoming aware of it.

 Example: It was something like a semi detached and sited on a slope. I was outdoors and I think felt or knew that we had just taken over this house. But I felt uneasy as if something from the past was linked with it.

Then I was at the back of the house, on the part sloping down from the back wall of the house. I noticed things covering what turned out to be a big hole dug against the back wall, deep into the soil. This was where I felt most ill at ease about the place.  The hole had been covered with bits of board and other odd pieces of junk. I lifted these at the left of the hole and looked in. Sticking out from the side of the hole, about three feet down was the dead body of a young man. I could see the back of his skull had been smashed in. But although he had obviously been under the soil for some time, and had now been uncovered, the body was still in good condition, being slightly dried out or mummified.

I felt really guilty and connected with the body, as if I had been part of his murder, and was wondering frantically what I could do to hide or get rid of the body. Part of the problem was that pulling it out risked being seen with it.

In ‘being’ the body in the dream the man said, “But it wasn’t until I got into the role of the dead body that any depth of feelings emerged.  Almost as soon as I was in the role of the dead body I began to think about and feel things connected with the way I had killed my sexuality as a teenager.  Gradually these feelings deepened and I was describing my feeling hatred in regard to sexuality and how the masses were pulled along by their genitals into some sort of conformity and performance.  I felt anger and loathing for what I felt at the time were the cattle human beings were. At the time I despised and hated them.  I also felt repugnance at the way people talked about sex or appeared to enjoy it.  It has to be understood that in that period in history in the UK, most of sex was depicted in terms of smut, dirt, animal desire, hidden pornography, or loveless fucking.   I wept deeply, at times hardly able to breathe, with the pain of seeing what I had done to myself.  I said sorry over and over.  I saw that I need not have killed my love and sexuality, but could have expressed it in a tender and loving way.

Killing: Repressing or stopping some aspect of oneself – as when we kill our love for someone.

Killing parents: In the example below Audrey’s height shows her as a child. She is releasing anger about the attitudes and situations her father forced ‘down her throat’. To be free of the introverted restraints and ready made values gathered from our parents, at some time in our growth we may kill or bury them in our dreams. Although some people are shocked by such dreams, they are healthy signs of emerging independence. Old myths of killing the chief so the tribe can have a new leader, depict this process. When father or mother is ‘dead’ in our dream, we can inherit all the power gained from whatever was positive in the relationship. Also is is a lesson on standing on ourown feet alone.

 Example: ‘My father was giving me and another woman some medicine. Something was being forced on us. I started to hit and punch him in the genitals and when he was facing the other way, in the backside. I seemed to be just the right height to do this and I had a very angry feeling that I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me.’ Audrey V.

Sometimes a dream about our family is a literal statement in symbols, of what we sense is happening in the family.

Killing animals: This shows you killing urges or needs you have that are natural and instinctive. Mostly this is injurious to your wholeness, but occasionally needs to be done to deal with special life situations. The killing might also point to feelings of pain and conflict, as when we kill out something in us that is natural or even beautiful; like when we trained to be nice to everyone even though our instinctive reaction is to avoid them. The same applies to reasonable anger.  See: family and relationships; animals.

 Example: ‘When inside the house I dream of recurrently, I am terrified of someone, a man who is trying to find and kill me.’ Barbara T.

As a young woman Barbara discovered the dead body of her father he had shot himself in the house of her dream. Being killed here shows Barbara feeling overwhelmed by the feelings about her father – the man.

 Example: ‘Some two weeks before my dear wife died of cancer of the oesophagus, at about three a.m. in the morning, she shot up in bed screaming ‘No. No! No!’ On questioning her she said her mother, who had died in November 1981, was trying to kill her.’ Gerry B.

In this unusual dream the wife feels the approach of death, depicted by her mother. As dreams suggest death is as much a new area of experience as adolescence was, it would have helped to meet the mother of this dream and find a more positive relationship as described in Processing Dreams. See: death.

Example: A big man, with several gunmen, came into the house at Woburn Walk, threatening to kill my father. I held them off by threatening the leader with the 410 shotgun held at his head. There was no definite conclusion one way or another at the end of the dream. I thought afterwards that there was a great deal of fear of persecution in the dream, and wondered what would happen if I let myself be persecuted, i.e. if I dropped the fear of threat.

Being threatened by gunman again. But this time there is no sense of fear. However the dream does not end conclusively. During a borderline state today, I saw that I (we?) had got to the “pockets” of trouble, and it was now being worked on.

Another interesting dream because the next day he dreamt: “That I had been having treatment for mental illness, but I didn’t know it. My wife somehow drew my attention to it, and I realised that there were great gaps in my memory, signifying the times I had been insane. I also thought that since the treatment I was worse, as I had several symptoms of a troublesome nature that I had not had previously. The dream left a very strong aftertaste.”

The pockets of trouble that were being met were in fact his previously unmet fears and trauma. So the threat of death by the gunmen was showing his fear of persecution, which he then was willing to face. This led to feeling that at times he had been completely unaware of his problems. That led to his troublesome symptoms that could now surface.

Idioms: dressed fit to kill; if looks could kill; kill a penalty; kill an elephant; kill for; kill me; kill off; kill ourselves laughing; kill the goose that lays the golden eggs; kill time; kill two birds (with one stone); time to kill; curiosity killed the cat; killer instinct; killing me; make a killing

Useful Questions and Hints:

Considering that each person dreamt of is usually and aspect of oneself, what was being killed?

Did you feel a connection with the death or feel guilty?

How did you react to the killing?

See Summing UpCharacters and People in DreamsBeing the Person or Thing  


-Samia 2017-12-11 2:36:06

I have really disturbing dreams every so often. Last night I had a messed up kill or be killed kind of dream. 5 of us actually decided to play this game??? I’m not sure we had realised how real it was. We were put in a tank with 2 or 3 weapons (I just remember 2 guns and amo). You had to quickly get a weapon and kill before you were killed. I was the last one standing but I feel like the last person in the tank with me could have killed me but didn’t.
Why did I dream this? What is wrong with me.
I had bad night terrors as a kid where I’d wake up sweating crying and sometimes even vomit. I had 2 or 3 recurring night terrors as a kid. None of my other siblings had night terrors.
Any ideas? I’m now 21 and still have nightmares sometimes. I’m a female btw.

-Eöl 2017-03-12 10:39:17

I had this dream a while ago, and I haven’t been able yet to fully understand it, which is why I still haven’t let it go. First thing I remember is that I’m in a room of some sort, might have been a roof actually when I really picture it in front of me. However, there I stood, with my sister a couple of meters away. There were two men aswell and the general feeling I think we all had was a little panic. The two men had guns and one of them pointed his gun at my sister, I quickly pulled mine at him and shot him, pretty sure it was in the head, he fell down and died. The other guy came towards me and I got shot aswell, but I felt nothing and wasn’t hurt. My gun was out of bullets so I took a gun that lay on the floor and I shot him too, I think it was in the chest. While he still was alive laying on the floor I shot him once again so that I would be sure he was dead. It felt like I had accomplished something great, it felt good killing those guys. Directly after they both were laying there dead I asked my sister to help me put them in big black plastig bags, so we did, and pulled them away and threw them in a container. It was just like I dusted off my hands and thought, well, that’s it, so.. Are we gonna go eat now? I’m pretty hungry.

-Dashley 2016-05-14 22:47:06

I had a gun in my hand while emotionally unstable for whatever reason. They were talking, then I was talking and just pulled the trigger on myself. I felt nothing and was still with them. I ended up shooting myself in the head again.. And still survived! I felt like a superhuman, but throughout my dream I became weaker and I felt less smart. I tried to combat the retard feeling, and for all I knew, I was doing just fine. I became even weaker yet, like a zombie. I remember being fragile and drooling n not paying attention to my surroundings… Almost as if I was trying to fall asleep.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-05-18 11:13:41

    Dear Dashley – Your dream may reflect how you stop experiencing and expressing thoughts and feelings of a part of yourself when you pull the trigger on yourself; “I felt nothing and was still with them.”
    This reaction seems to be the effect of not feeling emotional stable and it would be interesting to observe what causes this; what triggers the loss of being able to manage your own emotions in your waking life?
    Is it fear? Are you afraid of socializing, talking to strangers, starting relationships, showing the real you?
    See and
    It might be helpful to express yourself this way; “I feel nothing and I am still with them.”
    We have many selves in our inner world and while part of your feeling self is “killed” or denied expression another self is still present and grows stronger.
    Hal and Sidra Stone “see the selves as the smallest discrete units of the psyche: as energy bodies that vibrate within us and determine “who we are” at any given time. Each self has its own way of viewing the world, its own perceptions, its own beliefs and rules, and its own specific history. And even though these are energy bodies, they manifest themselves quite individually in the body and can affect it in a number of ways.
    The selves may have verifiable physical correlates as well. Recent advances in functional neurological imaging suggest to us that (1) the different selves may well represent specific locations in the brain and /or (2) they may represent webs of neuronal pathways that have developed over time as a result of repetitive experiences or actions.”
    You wrote “I tried to combat the retard feeling, and for all I knew, I was doing just fine.”
    Your dream reflects that combatting your feelings is not the answer.
    Allowing, observing and naming your feelings – “I feel retarded” – without judging them can serve as a first step towards inner transformation.
    A part of you does become aware in your dream that the role (or self) of “superhuman” is not a smart choice because you become like a zombie; you do not express your real self;
    Daring to be and express your real and so vulnerable self – especially when people you talk to express their “superhuman self” – can be a real challenge;
    Dreams are a safe way of exploring and so you might want to use this dream to explore other ways of connecting with parts of yourself and others. It is a process so be patient with yourself.
    If you feel like it you could use and/or
    Anna 🙂

-samy 2014-12-27 3:58:46

I’ve had this recurring dream about being killed by my grandmother. right now my parents are going through a divorce and my father doesn’t speak to me. in this dream I am walking into my grandparents house (fathers parents) and family friends are standing outside telling me not to go inside because she’s going to kill me. but each time I don’t understand who they are talking about so I go inside the house and go into the basement where my father, grandfather, aunt, uncle and cousin are sitting around in a circle and the only person missing is my grandmother. each time I ask where is grandma and my father says turn around and when I do she’s standing behind me and stabs me in the chest and that’s when I wake up. what does this mean?

-Matt S. 2014-07-05 5:20:33

My dream began with getting a phone call and a picture text from Ruby (my girlfriend of two years). The picture was of a positive pregnancy test, and the phone call was to inform me that she was pregnant. My mind rushed with myriad emotions – fear, anger, worry, guilt, shame, panic. Although, after a bout of worrying, I got somewhat happy at the fact that I got her pregnant, that Ruby and I would FINALLY have the family we’d been planning together – albeit much earlier than planned. And out of wedlock.

I invited her over to the local strip mall for some ice cream/frozen yogurt, because obviously ice cream is a delicious frozen delight that can fix even the worst situations. That night, she and I were sitting in the front seat of my car, eating, talking, mulling things over and making plans for our lives and for the baby.

The following took place in a span of less than 20 seconds.

I notice Ruby’s attention drawn by something ahead of us, so I look forward. In front of the car was a male figure, walking towards us. He was fit and broad-shouldered, and looked nearly identical to Schwarzenegger in The Terminator – even dressing in the same leather jacket, all black clothes, sunglasses at night, etc.

He was right in front of the bumper now, looking at us through the windscreen. I sensed something deeply amiss, as well as great danger. I could feel that Ruby had the same thoughts. The man pulls out a shotgun and takes aim at us. I instinctively place my arm in front of Ruby, the same way one would do in preparation for an imminent car accident. I yelled something… not sure what it was.

The man fired, and I watched the buckshot tear into my girlfriend with lethal force. I screamed, but I couldn’t hear anything. One hand still over Ruby’s chest, I used the other to open my door. The man fired at me this time, the shots railing into me. I fell leftwards, out of my door, hitting the cold concrete. I looked up, into my car. There sat Ruby, taking her last breaths.

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