But life in the body is a different matter, and because the physical world is all split into dualism/opposites, and because we are mammalian animals who have only recently attained a measure of self awareness, we have millions of years of instinct in us to seek a partner. That means we find self awareness very stressful for we are bombarded with our instincts to have sex, and at the same time have personal awareness built out of cultural beliefs which in many women and men are either directed by their genitals or are twisted into huge romantic dreams. WOW!!!

Example: I dreamt of being with a woman who was desperately seeking a man. I was also with my own female companion. I believe the woman had been suddenly dropped by her man, and I and my partner were close and with her.

Still in the semi-awake state I tried ‘being’ the woman, and had a very clear response. I experienced being her, but was also me with experience of seeing into myself in some degree. I saw that the woman, like most of us, was a female creature whose instinctive drive was to find a mate. But she was not aware of this as an instinctive drive but as a personal feeling. As such she had become, like many women and men, lost in a huge web of personal ideas about whether they were attractive, sexy, with many complications about love, gender mixed with childhood unconscious traumas and the heartbreak all that brings.)

It is the way it keeps us looking. In human life our unbalanced life, caused by believing and feeling that we have to have a partner, makes us constantly search for a man/woman. That is fine and natural, but it is turned into a bloody mess by our amazing romantic fantasies, or by neurotic tendencies caused by the misplaced sexual urge. For as far as I understand from three or four partners, and several love affairs, and from looking at people’s dreams of love, the thing we are really seeking is our own wholeness. See Archetype of the Animus or Archetype of the Anima

So we can make do with a decent partner because it takes the edge off the search for wholeness. But if we get too deep into believing we have found it in marriage or a partner, it tears us apart when it ends. But if you adjust your feelings to see a partner as a good friend and sexual partner without getting yourself screwed up by jealousy or feelings about cheating, or all the other things people even commit suicide over, you are onto a good thing. See Ages of Love  and – Sacred Marriage and Opening to Life