Sex In Your Dreams

Although sex is symbolised in many dreams, where it appears directly, it shows that the dreamer is able to more easily accept their sexual urges and hurts. What is then important is to attempt an understanding of what setting or drama the sexual element occur in. Our psychological and sexual nature, like our physical, never stand still in development unless a pain or problem freeze them at a particular level of maturity. Therefore, our sexual dreams, even if our sex life is satisfactory, show us what growth, what new challenge, is being met.

Example: ‘My lover was standing behind me, and John, my husband, was standing in front of me. I was asking John to have sex with me and at the same time thinking, ‘Oh, hell, if he does he will think we have something going between us’. I felt no flow towards John but felt somehow I was trying to tell my lover that I was desirable.’ Sally A.

Sally’s dream needs no interpretation. Such clear dreams show that Sally is ready to be directly aware of what she is doing in her relationships. If the sex in the dream is deeply symbolised, it suggests the dreamer is less willing to be aware of their motivations or connected painful feelings. Even though Sally’s dream was clear, it was still dealing with an area of her sexuality she was not clearly conscious of. If she had been aware, it is doubtful whether she would have dreamt it.

Chained up love

Example: ‘I was in a farmyard. A small boy climbed all over the bull. It became terribly angry. It had been chained without attention too long. Now it tore away and sought the cows. The gates were closed, but the bull smashed through the enclosing fence. I rushed to the fence and sat astride it, but on seeing that the bull smashed it like match wood, I looked around for some safe place. The bull charged the first cow to mount it, but so terrible was its energy and emotion that it could not express as sex. It smashed the cow aside as it had done the fence. Then it rushed the next and tossed it over its head, charging and smashing the next. I climbed into somebody’s garden, trying to get out of the district.’ Arthur J.

Although this dream depicts Arthur’s ‘chained’ sexual drive using the bull, it is still fairly obvious. If we consider the setting and plot of the dream, as suggested above, we see that Arthur is desperately trying to avoid responsibility for, or trying to escape, his own sexual drive – figuratively ‘sitting on the fence’.

Example: ‘My husband and I were walking down a road. We were going in the same direction together. I started to sing with a very happy feeling but then felt I should stop because he would say the happiness was because I had had sex. I sensed he knew what I was thinking as I walked along. He then quietly began to sing and the dream ended with me smiling to myself. We had sexual cut off for four weeks but had made love that afternoon.’ Joan W.

In talking about this dream Joan said she felt it slightly embarrassing to admit that sex gave her feelings of happiness. She liked to believe she was perfectly happy without it. It is probably out of the slight conflict between her conscious attitude and her feeling of well being after sex, that the dream was produced.

General information about sex in your dreams

Whenever a healthy man dreams, he experiences an erection, no matter what the subject of the dream. Women also experience such stimulus while dreaming.

While dreaming you can safely allow any form of sexual pleasure you desire. Don’t let the useful morals of waking life intrude into your dreams. If your sexual dreams are frustrating, or do not lead to deep pleasure, drop the fears and limiting attitudes that are blocking the full flow of your excitement.

Your longing for sexual partners that isn’t openly expressed, will attempt to become real in your dreams. It doesn’t mean that you are dissatisfied with your present partner if you have sex with other people in your dreams. All of us have such secret longings, and it is healthy for them to be allowed as we sleep.

Sometimes sexual pleasure is depicted in dreams as a tidal wave, or a snake, or something you may be resisting. This is because full sexual bliss floods the whole body, releasing tensions, bringing peace and a healing action physically and psychologically. To achieve this, learn to let go of rigid self control and be ready to be emotional.

Enjoying sexual pleasure with an animal, such as being kissed or licked by a cat, is the way dreams describe your own sexual urges at their most uncomplicated and basic level. It doesn’t mean you are weird. In such dreams you are dropping the complicated social rules that usually direct how you express yourself.

The energy behind the sexual drive is enormously important. It can flow in many different ways. It not only expresses as genital sex, but also in caring for others. If it is blocked illness can result. Your dreams show in detail just how you are dealing with this most important area of your life, and what is standing in the way of satisfaction and health. Do not accept the ready made formulas of popular sexual norms. Your dreams will show your own intimate and unique needs. Remember your dreams and be enriched by them.

See: Energy Sex and Dreams


-Rose 2017-01-18 16:28:03

Unwarranted Sexual Advances

I had a dream that my boss was drunk, I sat next to him and he let me know that he like latin women. (I’m Latina) in my dream I could smell the alcohol I’m his breath. he grabs me and sits uncomfortably close to me and wraps his arms around me. He then proceeds to touch downtown. I tell him that I’m really uncomfortable. I wrestle my way off the couch and go through a maze around a luxurious home that does not appeal to my liking. Eventually I find my way out into a beautiful desert with floral dessert life. It’s serene colorful, very dry, hot, with many beautiful rock formations. In the end I wake up relieved.

-Dantu 2016-08-06 14:13:18

Hi there.
I tend to have dreams initiating and engaging sex with women. I am a woman myself, my sexuality feels a bit ambiguous, I have always been comfortable with my attraction for other women and comfortable with my sexual tendancies as a whole but I feel like I can never commit myself to being in a relationship with one the same way I am with men. Whenever I have these dreams although I seem to enjoy the initial buildup of the sex act, when it comes to performing oral within the dream, the moment I start I feel nauseous, and no matter what dream it is, no matter the type of woman etc or how excited I am, they have this same horrible pungent taste that is so bad I always vomit within the dream. At one point I woke up with the taste still lingering in my mouth. I’d say that when I first started getting these dreams I was sometimes reluctant to engage with the woman, but as time has progressed, I am always hyper-aware when it comes to that point of the dream and I can sort of force myself to continue but I always without a doubt vomit, even if I hold it in my mouth. The texture of the woman’s genitalia is never really ‘right’ in texture and whenever I feel sick in the dream I try to please her with my fingers and struggle giving oral sex. For some reason this has affected sex with my partner (male). I can never really enjoy oral sex with him and even shy away from it whenever he tries to make his way down there – although this is a two-way street he can go months without giving me oral or taking the time to rub and arouse down there and I often find myself disinterested and wanting to engage in the main part of the show. I cannot reach orgasm from that and have struggled with previous partners too. And although this phenomena hasn’t happened in a while, sometimes when I dream of a woman giving me oral, I have woken up mid orgasm. This has been happening for years. Any takes?

-meim 2015-06-16 7:30:23

I had this complicated and mixed dreaming. It started as my friends(old frnds) call me one morning for exercise. (we used to be running along the streets) As we were going they left me behind but I realize things aren’t normal. I began to slow down and I saw every one is having sex on the street, in homes, everywhere. I was shocked to the maximum as this isn’t the norms of society. I was then thinking to myself… Was this already allowed that I didn’t know? Or may be it a practical thing to achieve certain goal?.
I have completely forgotten that I came out to exercise and rather starting to involve myself, not to have sex but rather to find the reason behind all this. No one gave me the attention, then I saw some students with their lecturer in a car, they park where I was standing. I was hoping they could get answers for my question but turn out to be something else. They started to joyfully tease and caress each other, soon enough they also started to sex particularly with the lecturer (the lecturer was male and the others were female). I am by now completely blown out and couldn’t do anything. I can see how the lecturer is struggling as if all the water inside him has been drawn it funny to me though, like he couldn’t resist even if he wanted to.
I caught the site of a beautiful lady who was licking another girl’s canal. Although I wasn’t aroused or anything at least no sign of me showing my penis is hard or blood is pumping in but I went straight to this girl I was staring to kiss her just to confirm if this is happening real. She gladly offered a kiss but then she poured into my mouth what she has licked from the puss. I felt awfull and quickly withdrawn to throw up.
This is a long dream but would like to cut it short.
I tried to find my way back home but I missed that. Later on I found another group of old mates and asked them what was really going on and their answer was it was world sex day and it was initiated by my own lecturer I respected so much. Infact I was shocked… And all that went through my mind is may be he has good intention for that and that it was society who has change his vision and he no longer has control over it.

I think I would end it here because the dream is so long i wouldn’t like to spit all of them here as it will piss off some people or the admin. But any help from all tht i said is highly appreciated.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-06-19 14:02:04

    Dear Meim – In waking life an international awareness day – like “world sex day” 😉 – is a date set to commemorate a public (psychological) health or ethical cause of importance on an international level.
    You wrote “it – world sex day – was initiated by my own lecturer I respected so much. Infact I was shocked… And all that went through my mind is may be he has good intention for that and that it was society who has changed his vision and he no longer has control over it”.
    What is important to understand is that dreams are a magical mirror in which your innermost hopes, longings, fears/terrors and genius are made real. They are made real as external environments, people, animals and relationships. So the people you dreamt about – your old friends, the lecturer etc – is not them, but is a dream image made out of your feelings and memories.
    Something else that creates a lot of confusion is that people fail to recognise the difference between their inner dream life and the demands of their waking life.
    In dreams we are nearly always facing ourselves, and what we do is always a virtual reality that we can experiment in and try out all manner of behaviour.
    So on one level your dream could express that “your dreamfigure” is “wrestling” with the idea of letting go of control.
    There is a huge area of ones conscious skills given over to various sorts of control. This starts from a very young age when we gradually learn not to mess our pants, and later to ride a bike and drive a car. Being out of control can open us to a great deal of fear or confusion. Yet being able to let go of control is also tremendously important. Many of the things we meet in life we are unable to control – even our own heartbeat and life processes. But many external things such as a relationship, sex, opportunity, losses, accidents and other people’s decisions confront us with areas that we cannot control.
    There is a philosophy being promoted that you are fully in control of your life, and can get anything you set your heart on. While there is some truth in this, it is also as unbalanced as saying that to have full control is the way to be. Letting go of control is equally necessary. There is a middle way. We certainly cannot control the Universe, but we can learn to work in greater harmony with the forces of nature and intelligences we are interwoven with.
    See also
    Also occasionally dreams occur that directly questions our beliefs and ways of living/relating or even gives us experience of a completely different belief system or paradigm and this is what your dream could be expressing on another level because every dream has multiple layers which are all worthwhile exploring.
    And so your dream can also use the idea of fusing one thing with another. Two people can be fused into one, or we can fuse with an animal as one being. Sexual contact can also be a way of fusing with each other. But fusing is an everyday part of us. What we take into us mentally, psychologically or physically becomes one with us. When we eat for instance it becomes the living part of us. Also we take into us the many things learnt in a relationship and they are fused with us. How many people do we fuse with as we grow and mature?
    See also
    Part of your dream and your comments suggests that you are meeting your shadow. The Shadow is any part of ourselves that we reject, and so do not allow sufficient expression in our life. We may so dislike aspects of our (sexual) nature we fail to recognise them altogether and instead see them in other people and criticise them.
    I trust this gives you a start to perceive your dream with some more understanding.
    If you feel like exploring your inner world of dreams further you can use
    Good Luck!
    Anna 🙂

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