All our lives we try to achieve a balance of contradictory opposites, and whether in our egos we succeed or fail, every function claimed by the ego is balanced by its opposite in the unconscious. Only in the fusion of infancy, or of sexual orgasm, or in religious ecstasy do we escape the psychic wound of division. See The male in the female
The discharge of feelings and body fluids in sexual orgasm and ejaculation are like the flowing back to earth when lightning strikes a conductor rod. Nature does its thing and the energy is gone. In most human sexuality today there is not even the possibility of reproduction. What other cultures have developed is the concept of this as energy. They say that this energy is potentially many other things than physical reproduction. So they divert the energy into the body toward the brain, rather than out of the body to be earthed. The results of this when successful are extended functions of the brain and senses. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm – Tiredness after Sex
The techniques and teachings lying behind this view are fundamentally about recognising the potentials lying dormant in you and learning to use them. The eastern cultures, far more than is true in the West, have developed techniques to extend possibilities of human life. See Energy Sex and Dreams; Kundalini; Wilhelm Reich, The Function of the Orgasm.
Dreams also use the idea of fusing one thing with another. Two people can be fused into one, or we can fuse with an animal as one being. Sexual contact can also be a way of fusing with each other. But fusing is an everyday part of us. What we take into us mentally, psychologically or physically becomes one with us. When we eat for instance it become the living part of us. Also we take into us the many things learnt in a relationship and they are fused with us. In a sexual relationship if we do not integrate or digest what we take in from the other person it may cause us psychic indigestion – repeating on us. How many people do we fuse with as we grow and mature? See Integrating; digest
Sex and orgasm are also fusing in a way that most people do not understand. An experience I had many years ago illustrates this. At the time I was working in a hotel kitchen. It was midday and the restaurant attached to the hotel was about to open. All of the preparations had been made so there was a lull as we were waiting for the doors to open and customers to enter. I was standing behind a countertop cleaning it, and about five or six metres away the elderly owner of the hotel was standing talking to a waitress. I think they were both in their 60s or the waitress might have been in her late fifties.
They were casually talking about the amount of custom there was for this time of year, and about the restaurant. At one point in my cleaning I glanced up to look at them. At that moment a radical shift took place in how I saw them. It seemed to me as if a new sensory organ had opened, one I had never experienced before. With this new sense each tiny movement the waitress and boss made exploded with information. Subtle changes in facial expression I had never perceived before were now visible and meaningful. It even seemed as if I could sense and see an enormous energy connection between the two at the solar plexus. And what I understood through this new sense was that the waitress and boss at some time had engaged in sex. I was in my 30’s at the time, and silly as it may seem, the idea that these two 60 year olds could have sex with each other had never entered my mind.
Along with this realisation came the vision of a great trunk of energy passing between them. Although on the surface their actions and speech were inconsequential, at the deeper level of energy exchange, very powerful communication was occurring. I understood from this that when two people have sex with each other they forge this link. Through it they send messages to each other perhaps without realising it. The link may last a lifetime.
I was so surprised and intrigued by what had happened I later asked the waitress if she’d had a sexual relationship with the boss. With only slight embarrassment she said it was true, they did have a sexual relationship.
Example: I was in a building with a number of people. Winnie, a woman I worked with many years ago was there, sitting cross legged on the floor. I went to her and kissed her. She responded and I put my hand down on her thigh under her skirt, and gently moved it under her knickers to touch her vagina. It was moist and wet with excitement and I pushed my fingers into the slippery crevice. As I did so my feelings rose in a beautiful soft and satisfying orgasm. I thought I had ejaculated, but had not.
Then I was in a street and met a dark haired young woman. We embraced and kissed. The feeling of mutual pleasure was intense. So much so I felt what she was feeling as if we did not have separate bodies. I felt an orgasm grow inside her pelvis and reach its pitch, flowing into the rest of her body. It was her orgasm but it felt as if it were mine also. It was a beautiful melting experience with no harshness or disappointment anywhere. Damon.
Example: ‘I was in a cubicle or small toilet with a very black woman. She told me there was something wrong with her vagina. She was undressed. I rubbed her vagina and we both felt enormous passion. I then awoke but couldn’t at first remember the dream. I have refrained from sexual intercourse for some weeks, as I always feel shattered/tired afterwards. Anyway I awoke very wet yet couldn’t remember any orgasm. I could remember some question of sex as I awoke. Then I remembered the dream and continued it in fantasy. I experienced powerful urges to find a woman to have a non committed sexual relationship with. But in the end I wanted to share my feelings with my wife, but she seemed deep asleep and unresponsive. When I slept again I dreamt I was in London, had got off one bus, but was not at my destination. I was standing about not making a move to find my direction. Then I began to look.’ Fred C.
To understand the above dream in some depth it is helpful to think of the sexual and emotional drives as a flow, like a river. As such they can be blocked, in which case they will seek an alternative route. The dream is not simply about sexual sensation, but also passion. The flow of passion and sexual energy are not simply mechanical things, they are also deeply feeling in their connection with the most profound sides of human life such as parenthood and the caring and providing for young, and our social contact with the people around us. In the history of white people a great deal of frustration has arisen out of the ideas of sin and guilt in their religion. A view arose for the white race that the black races had an easier and less frustrating relationship with the NATURAL. So when Fred dreams of the black woman, he is meeting what is natural and flowing in himself, but which he has blocked by his will because of his struggle with his feelings and sexuality. This is why the black woman has a problem with her vagina. The part about the bus shows Fred trying to find a direction in which his sexual feelings could move satisfyingly in connection with other people. The conflict he has is also shown in waking by his desire to find a woman to have uncomplicated sex with – thus his unsuccessful attempt to share his sexual flow with his wife.
Example: I was a tiny baby about six months old, lying on my back with my legs in the air, with no clothes on and my father was looking at me. He was looking at my private parts and I expected him to react in an approving way, but he did not. It was a shattering blow to my self-esteem. I felt that here was the very essence of my femaleness, and the one male I most wanted to show approval did not do so.
Realising that her father had used her sexually she went on, “Following this insightful LSD experience, the patient felt “enormously released.” She found that she began to enjoy male relationships which previously had resulted in feelings of shame and which afterwards she preferred not to think about. After treatment she “felt a wonderful outpouring of love” and wanted to have a second child, though previously she had thought another pregnancy would be “disastrous.” In later sessions she summoned other childhood sexual detail that made even further progress possible, and at the close of treatment she had her first full internal orgasm during intercourse. Quoted from LSD the Problem Solving Psychedelic by Stafford and Golightly.
Example: A young woman was there, not particularly good-looking, but okay. I suppose I would describe her as a fairly plain young woman, neither highly intelligent nor stupid. Almost immediately we were in a sexual relationship. I was sucking her breast. It was very beautiful and warm sweet milk was coming out into my mouth. It felt very satisfying, both for me and for her. Then my hand was on her vagina. It felt incredibly rich and deep. It was fully wet and inviting. I put my hand up inside her and could feel her orgasm as wonderful muscular movements of her vagina around my hand.
Example: I was involved with a married woman, a beautiful full figured female. She told me she had never experienced an orgasm. Then one evening she made it plain she wanted sex which had happened before. It started slowly and then I told her she should get on top of me and use me in whatever she wanted. Well she stayed in the top position and worked away backwards and forwards in full throttle. Somehow it wasn’t doing anything for me but neither did it make me ejaculate, so I just let her get on with it. It took quite a while but eventually I could see she was arriving and fell onto me. I held her and stayed like that.
The next day she told me that she experienced blowing up like a balloon, and then suddenly she burst and disappeared into a wonderful feeling. I thought afterwards that this lady had needed a LOT of physical action to achieve her orgasm.