Mouth The Function
I had a dream of a mouth, so now I will try standing in the role of this living thing.
As Me in the dream I am simply being there on the floor exploring with my hands. Perhaps as I used to as a child. Then I came across this object, I thought to myself, “What is that?” So I picked up this thing, and I didn’t know what it was. I am curious, I picked it up, and I want to show other people what I have found. I guess that’s how I feel about my work. I want to show other people what I have found.
Here I feel some emotion because I realise how crushed we are sometimes as children. How our love of discovery, our curiosity, our intensity and pleasure are suppressed or even crushed. I had a wonderful childhood in many ways. Was allowed such freedom, but so many kids are crushed.
But I am recovering that wonderful curiosity. I am recovering that desire to share it with other people. I have brought it back into my adult life.
I am something that I have found. I am not sure what I am because I am simply unconscious. I am something that exists but does not have any knowledge of itself. And Tony has been feeling around and he has found me. His looking at me gives me awareness. It brings me to awareness. Without him looking at me I am simply something that exists. I am a part of nature. I have grown, I have developed, but I don’t know what I am or what I am capable of. It takes a human awareness to discover me, to ponder me, to poke at me, to find out what I am.
I am something that is alive. I am something that has the possibilities of life. I need to be perhaps put in water. That is what I am thinking and feeling as he observes me. He comes to this because he is thinking, what is this? What is that? What does this do? What is that for? How does this thing existence? In this way he is bringing me to life. He is bringing me to consciousness. I am part of the great unknown that is becoming known. I am something that Tony holds in his hands.
What am I? What am I?
You are a living process. You are a little part of life. I’m still finding out what you do.
I am, holding something, and I’m wondering what it is.
As the process I am something that is so fundamental I could easily be overlooked. Yet I am an important process that you are looking at. I am a process that just attempts to survive. And I do this by moving things towards my mouth. I move things towards my mouth. When I do this I absorb them. I absorb them. I am absorbing them and I need water to do that. I have my existence in your digestive organs. I am just a fundamental bit of life process that at one time existed independently. That is why you are seeing me like this. I am an independent, tiny little part, that has now being built into this huge process of your body. And I live with many other things in the gut.
I move things towards my mouth. I move things towards my mouth. (As I do this I am making the physical movement with my hand moving an imaginary something towards my mouth. I am moving imaginary food towards my mouth. I sensed this as an incredibly ancient and fundamental process, and yet we still do it because it is so important. But at the same time our being has developed it in higher levels of function. We move things towards the mouth of our intellect, our understanding, and we absorb them and build them into this structure of understanding and thought.) I take them in and that is a part of your digestive process. I am a part of your being.
That is why you thought I was a jaw at first. This is because I eat – I eat – I eat. I absorb.
Switching back to the role of Me I say – Why am I looking at you? Why at this point am I considering you? Why am I holding you in my hand?
You are holding me because you want to understand. I am a fundamental part of life. I am not one of the most fundamental parts. I support the whole structure of your being. My function then goes up to another level. I take things in, ideas, feelings, and experience. I take them in. I am a mouth. I am taking in experience, pleasure, pain, a thought, a realisation. I take it in, I digest it. Then it becomes a part of my living understanding. Fundamental.
Is there anything else I need to understand about that?
I am! I am! I am! I still am a mouth. As Me I still am a mouth. I still need to push stuff toward that opening. I still need to do that. It is a basic part of life. It is a rich nourishing part of life. So what am I realising about this?
I am realising that I am nourishing myself more and more. In my relationship with my lover and I realised that I have been so hungry. I was so hungry. Sometimes I feel my lover is so complete, but I do see that she is as hungry as I am. But I learn so much from her. She is totally physical, sexual and she is totally involved in her life. But at the same time she is hungry for this fuller understanding and involvement that we call the spiritual. In a real way she understands it, she is intuitive, she realises she is dependent upon her sociological background, on what was provided by her ancestors. She acknowledges it, she builds into her life, she teaches it to her child. You are not simply this human being today, you are here because of these people in the past. Let us honour them. Let us recognise what they did for us. When we take in food – every time we eat we acknowledged the wonder of it. She does it all the time. It is not religious, it is life. It is the acknowledgement of who she is all the time.
And I can acknowledge what I need when I am with her. I need to go to her breast occasionally. So I find it easy to say to her, “I need to go to your breast.” Thank God I can acknowledge it and say I have. “I need to be inside you. I need to feel whole.”
To her that is everyday life.
Fundamental, but still so necessary. Still so important. We mustn’t forget how precious these fundamental processes of life are.
At this point I ask how I can honour and work with these fundamental processes in my being.
I am asking this of you. Listen to my needs. Care for me. This is all I ask of you. I have given you my life, and you have given me your life. Originally I existed bathed in water. I need still to have water flowing around me.
Comments
Amazing writing. Nourishing myself more and more. Thank you.