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Death

Death of someone knownDeath of yourselfDeath of childDeath the walking dead or rigor-mortisDeath dancing with or meeting dark figureDeath of someone close to us -

Some aspect of your outer or inner life is fading, or being superseded by a changed approach or attitude, so may be shown as dying. Your drive to achieve something might die, and be shown as a death in your dreams. Changing from adolescence to puberty, maturity to old age, are also shown as oneself dying. Lost opportunities or unexpressed potentials in oneself are frequently shown as dead bodies. All of us unconsciously learn attitudes or survival skills from parents and others. If these are unrecognised they may be shown as dead. Sometimes we have killed the child or teenager in us because of difficulties or trauma at those ages, and these may be seen as a dead person in one’s dream.

Some death dreams may show the awakening of new life in the dreamer. For instance, Sue worked on a dream in which she was told her baby had died. She woke shaking with grief and tears. The dream and emotions appeared to show her becoming alive enough to feel the grief of her past pain as it connected with the death of her hopes, love, and ideals. She had suppressed her pain for so long. In now coming alive enough to feel her emotions, she was feeling at last that something had died in her.

Because you cannot actually die in your dreams. It is like you become totally involved in a movie that you can only escape from by waking. But when you wake things are the same – you are not dead – but you have been enriched by a lot of new experiences.

Also parts of ones feelings sometimes die. Our love for someone might die for instance, and so our dream illustrates this with a death, perhaps of that person.

Some teenagers dream of their parents dying as they start to become independent. This is a form of killing of dependent feelings about their parents as a means of growth. This happens in some relationships too, where we want to break with the person.

“The dead differ from the living only in this respect: they are in a permanently subconscious state because the conscious mind of the physical body no longer exists. But the body is an expendable shell, and all else is intact. On the astral level of existence, the sub-conscious mind replaces the conscious mind of the soul, and the superconscious replaces the subconscious.  Hence, in dreams, we find that communication with those who have passed on is more logical than the average person is able to comprehend.” Quote from Edgar Cayce.

Death of someone known: Frequently, as in the example, this might express desire to be free of them, or unexpressed aggression. Perhaps your love for or connection with that person has ‘died’. We often ‘kill’ our parents in dreams as we move toward independence. Or we may want someone ‘out of the way’ so we do not have to compete for attention and love.

When someone we know dies lots of things happen to us. First of all we have always thought of the person as being outside of us. Then suddenly they are gone from the outside world, and we either think of them as gone forever never to be seen again; or we do what dreams often do and find them inside of us. In this way we can discover a new relationship with them, either because they now communicate with us as a dead person, or we receive from them what they left in us.

Example: ‘During my teens I was engaged to be married when I found a more attractive partner and was in considerable conflict. Consistently I dreamt I was at my fiancé’s funeral until it dawned on me the dream was telling me I wanted to be free of him. When I gave him up the dreams ceased.’ Mrs. D.

Death of yourself: You might be exploring your feelings about death, or retreating from the challenge of life. Sometimes it expresses a split between mind and body. The experience of leaving the body is frequently an expression of this schism between the ego and life processes.

It could also be death of old patterns of living – your ‘old self’, or the loss of the traits that limit your awareness to an identity connected only to your body.

Example: ‘I dream I have a weak heart which will be fatal. It is the practice of doctors in such cases to administer a tablet causing one painlessly to go to sleep – die. I am completely calm and accepting of my fate. I suddenly realise I must leave notes for my parents and children. I must let them know how much I love them, must do this quickly before my time runs out.’ Mrs. M.

This is a frequent type of ‘death’ dream. It is a way of reminding yourself to do now what you want – especially regarding love.

Example: During a major operation I dreamt I saw my little daughter – dead for many years – standing in a corn field. When she was actually buried the cemetery was skirted by a corn field, and later in life, coming to terms with this early death of a child, I imagined my daughter walking into the corn field. In the dream I walked into the corn field. My daughter was waiting for me with her arms held up. I put my arms to her and we greeted each other smiling. At that point I felt it wasn’t time to die yet, turned and walked out of the corn field.  Ken S.

Death of child: Dreaming that your child dies can have several meanings. In some dreams a parent, much to their horror dreams of killing their child; or as one dreamer said, “I saw him jump off a bridge to his death.” This occurred at a time when her young son was making his first moves toward independence, and it was a difficult thing for the mother to face – the loss of her son. So it can easily be shown as the death of ones child in a dream. Another women describes it differently as follows:

‘I am standing outside a supermarket with heavy bags wearing my Mac, though the sun is warm. My daughter and two friends are playing music and everyone stops to listen. I start to write a song for them, but they pack up and go on a bus whilst I am still writing. I am left alone at the bus stop with my heavy burden of shopping, feeling incredibly unwanted.’ Mrs F

Mrs F was dreaming about her young daughter leaving her, and she has to grieve it, almost like a death.

This can mean a lot of other things than your actual child dying. For instance a man told me a dream that worried him enormously about walking with his wife and his young son fell down a hole and was apparently dead. But in fact he had had a terrible row with his wife that day, and it was showing the child as what they had created between them. In fact the dream child recovered as did their marriage.

Your child dying can also be a warning that your inner child is dying. We each carry some awful memories from childhood that are shown in our dreams as our child. So it is worth taking hold of your apparently dead child – nothing can actually die in our dreams – and hold it and tell it you love it. Watch any feelings that emerge as you do this and any tears you shed. See what you understand from what you feel.

Of course this could be a ‘mother’s’ dream in which your terror of losing your child is dreamt. A woman ones told me a dream in which her daughter was murdered. As we helped the woman explore her dream – not interpret it – she burst out into enormous sobs, crying that her daughter was leaving home and she was terrified of losing her. The girl was never murdered.

So ask yourself what your fears are about.

But our dream child can represent many things, and it is useful to realise that any person, object or scene in a dream is not a symbol – it is not dead thing that has to be interpreted - it is a living part of you and can only be understood by relating to it. So in this way I have found that a child can represent whatever our strongest feelings about them are. It can represent your marriage or partnership because it is what you have created between you. In that case the death of the child can depict something like an awful argument that feels as if it the marriage has died.

A child and its death can also show you how you have killed out the growing or adventurous side of you; or if you see your child as vulnerable and neding rotectionit could show you the death of that part of your feelings.

So you need to ask yourself what your dream child depicts as a living part of you.

When our child actually dies it is one of the most heartbreaking experiences we can meet. Sometimes it takes years to adjust to what has happened. Not only is the adjustment emotional and psychological, but also your way of life is often built around the person you have lost. Therefore the changes we meet can be enormous. However, we each have enormous resources of healing and ability to meet the new if we can access them. Very often there are experiences we have, or dreams, that continue our relationship with the child. Unfortunately we live in a culture that often denies the possibility of this. See Life’s Little Secrets

For instance, Dr. Morse, in his book Closer to the Light, tells of a mother who came to him because she hadn’t slept properly for 1041 nights after the death of her son. She showed him a picture of her son, but Dr Morse was suddenly called away to a ward emergency. Having dealt with the sick baby, he was writing up the notes and a nurse who had been helping said to him, ‘Who was that person who came in with you? Is he a student?’

Morse did not understand what the nurse was talking about as nobody had come into the hospital with him. As he was trying to find a pen for the notes he was writing he pulled out the photograph of the woman’s son. Immediately the nurse said, ‘That’s him. He kept trying to get your attention’.

When he returned to his office Morse asked the mother if she had ever been contacted by her son after his death. She said, ‘Oh yes. After he died, for several nights he would stand at the foot of my bed and tell me he was alright, and that I should stop crying. But that was only a crazy dream.’ However, such things are not crazy dreams, but insights into a greater reality.

After her converstation with Dr. Morse the woman slept properly for the fist time in nearly three years.

Death the walking dead or rigor mortis: Aspects of you that are denied, perhaps through fear.

Death dancing with or meeting dark figure: Facing up to death and developing a different attitude to it – unless of course you are running away. If you turn around and face these figures you will break through to a different way of life.

Death of someone close to us: As explained above, this often refers to ones own feelings or talents that have been hurt, denied, or ‘killed out’ by events and your response to them. The following example illustrates this.

‘My son comes in and I see he is unwashed and seems preoccupied and as if he has not cared for himself for some days. I ask him what is wrong. He tells me his mother is dead. I then seem to know she has been dead for days, and my two sons have not told anyone. In fact my other son has not even accepted the fact.’ Anthony.

Anthony is a divorcee. Processing the dream he realised the two sons are ways he is relating to the death of his marriage – the children’s mother.

Although the unconscious has a very real sense of its eternal nature and continuance after physical death, our conscious personality seldom shares this. Also we all we all carry within us ideas, behaviours, talents and ways of life from those now dead. The farmer today unconsciously uses the collective experience of humanity in farming. What innovation he does today his children or others will learn and carry into the future.

This aspect of a life beyond the physical is shown in many dreams. For instance a man I knew dreamt of walking with a friend of his. As they walked they came to a river. The friend crossed, but the dreamer was unable to. Even in the dream he felt crossing the river meant his friend had died. Some time later he discovered that his friend had died at about the time he experienced the dream.

As the dream points out, the friend died, but continued another type of life ‘across the river’.

A woman told a similar dream to me. Her teenage son came down to breakfast looking very unhappy. When she asked him why he said he had a dream that deeply disturbed him. In it he was walking with a friend and the friend walked through a door. When her son tried to follow he could not pass through the door. They could not find a rational explanation for the dream, but on arriving at school, her son heard that his friend had been killed in a motorbike accident on his way to school.

The river and the door are often used in this way, suggesting a change to another dimension of life usually unreachable by the living.

Idioms: Dead and buried; dead from the neck up/or neck down; dead to the world; play dead; dead to the world; dead tired; drop dead; stone dead; at death’s door; brush with death; death wish; kiss of death; sick to death.

See: Dreams of Death; Illness;

Useful questions:

What feelings about death does this dream highlight?

If I imagined the dream being carried forward, how would I change it? (For help doing this see Carrying the Dream Forward)

Am I changing and my past self dying?

If this is someone I know what are my feelings about them – and where are those feelings arising in me at the moment?

What part of myself have I killed?

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Comments

-Megan 2013-09-30 12:45:23

A lot to think about how? What should I be careful of? About the obstacle course: I should say that it was actually fun. Most of it was a slip and slide water ride. There were a lot of kids sliding past me. I was the only adult.

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-arlette 2014-01-02 14:07:17

I dreamt that my young son called me saying that I must come to the hospital to see the last of my son.
In real life my son has cancer, feeling a lot of pain in his leg from time to time. what does this mean?

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-niels 2014-01-16 14:37:15

I had a dream im which I hitted a girl on jer head after a date, and I kep on hitting her till I saw there was no life in jer annymore, then I kinda woke up in my classroom at school, at least that was what I thought, and kids were talking to me, you dream about murdering?! And I said yes and I felt terrible, then I got back into the other part of the dream, and apparently I hitted the girl in a weelchair amd she could not talk or move annymore, she was braindead, I felt terrible. We went to court amd then I woke up feeling terrible. Amd only after half an hour I realised it was a dream, I was kinda relieved, but I still felt weard. Because why would I dream such a thing. I am a good person. Is there any explanation for this? Please help me

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-Jules 2014-04-02 3:03:40

If anyone has some insight, I’d appreciate it. I has this dream last night and it was terrifying and felt very real. I dreamed I was married to my current boyfriend and we had a beautiful little girl. We had lost our first little girl some years earlier in an accident— she had drowned in the ocean. (To be clear. I am not yet married nor do I have kids and I am not near the ocean. This is all very out of my normal realm.) In the dream, our little girl begins speaking and physically communicating with the dead girl, whose body was never recovered. Eventually, the deceased child beings the living girl to her lost grave and keeps her there as a punishment to me for not burying her. I have to find them and save both of them— I awoke shaking just as I was dropping to black and decomposed body of my dead daughter into a final resting place. Anyone? I was terrified all last night. It was completely frightening and I’d like to ground it in reality to soothe my nerves.

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-Lauren 2014-04-07 12:46:32

Hi would I be able to tell you my dream? As I am in great need of help to understand what it all means
Kind regards
Lauren

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-Jessica 2014-04-11 10:45:18

I just woke up crying uncontrollably and woke up my fiance. I’m 29, 20 weeks pregnant, and have a six year old daughter. Her father and i are divorced and share joint custody. She is going camping this week with her father’s parent’s like she often does. This is the second or third time that I have dreamedof things happening to her that result in her death (took almost 20 minutes for me to type this word). She graduates Kindergarten in May. I guess I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this. It’s heart breaking.

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    -Tony Crisp 2014-04-13 13:37:35

    Jessica – Your love and care for your son can trigger your mothering instincts with a vengeance. Being female and a mother holds with it an enormously increased anxiety about your child. They see all manner of things that might be a threat, and I believe that is what such dreams shows. Your imagination for such dangers is enormously increased.

    This is natural in all mammals. When my son Leon was working for a year prior to entering Cambridge University, he met people who owned wolfhounds, and often walked the dogs. I went with him a couple of times. The dogs were kept in a large pen, and the owner went to get the keys for the pen. While we were waiting at the door one of the dogs, a bitch, was kept in the house. The bitch came to the door to look at us, then ran back, only to reappear again a few moments later to look at us anxiously. This was repeated a few times. I asked my son if she had pups and he said yes. So as soon as she saw we were strangers she rushed back to her pups to check they were okay. Then, for the short period we were there she continued to come and look at us with obvious tension, and then run back to check her pups.

    So I think that is happening to you. It might help if you imagine yourself in your dream – while awake – and hold your daughter and see if you can change what happens her, hold her till it is okay and healthy. You might need to do this a number of times to succeed. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/

    Tony

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-susan 2014-04-16 8:55:14

I dreamed that my grown son was drinking and driving and pulling his boat for fishing and his truck was underwater with him in the drivers seat and all you could see was a little bit of the back off the boat. That I was driving looking for him and that’s how I found him. Oh it was so real due to he loves to fish and he is alcoholic and drives while drinking. Scared me to death.

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    -Tony Crisp 2014-04-17 8:26:25

    Susan – As a mother you have a much more sensitive or active anxiety or worry about your son. Mothers tend to recognise all the dangers their children may meet and try to protect them – and also dream about them often.

    But if as you fear the dream is a prediction it would be good to tell him the dream and tell him how much you love him. Prayer is also a force. You do not need to be religious to pray. You are alive, and being alive is a miracle that nobody can really explain. You are the end product of millions of living beings that survived, often with great passion or daring. You feel that passion in you as the scared feeling. But that feeling can be expressed as your love and reach out to all others and your son to take care and protect.

    Tony

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-Zach 2014-04-22 13:02:52

I was on an amusement ride with my young daughter (5) . it was like two storys tall and spun around at the top like the space needle. heavy winds picked up and they couldnt stop the ride. It started to spin faster and rock and I couldn’t keep my grip on her and she slipped from my arms. Then it was like I was on the outside of the ride looking up at it and i could see her fall and hit the ground head first with a loud thump. I made to her and she was lifeless until I picked her up and then she woke up. I took
her to the hospital and then I woke up.

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-Majid 2014-04-23 4:06:52

Last night, actually it was sunrise when I woke up, I experienced death. I slept very late 4 am. I was killed by a group of people that have been governing in Iran 40 years ago. One man shot at my forehead and the only thing I felt was a few heat and then..
Firstly, I didn’t realize that I am dead. But I stood up and see my body, with a shot at my head.
Then I tried to find my family. I was trying to talk to my father. They couldnt see me and they cant hear me very well. Finally, they realized and..
I felt very bad afterwards in dream. Thinking about life after death sine I am a religious person. I was alone and there was nothing to direct me. I never tried to wake up and stop dreaming. This is very strange to me!

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