Boyfriend or Ex
Dreaming about your boyfriend is usually about your emotional feelings, attachment to, or fears about the boyfriend. This includes the difficulties, struggles with feelings and sexuality felt in connection with boyfriend or other males. It might also be your insights into his behaviour. Please read Ages of Love
Boyfriend dreams often have an element either of fear or dreaming of possibilities. In other words the dream explores what you fear might happen in the relationship, and what you hope will happen. See Inner People
Example: I constantly have a dream that me and my best friend/boyfriend of 3 years just suddenly aren’t together. I never know why, but I am either with another guy or simply alone and just have this horrible feeling in my stomach, and know it’s not right. In my dream I get upset my bf never called or contacted me after breaking up, and I never know why we ended either. The dream ends with me giving in and trying to find a way to call him but then I wake up. The obvious conclusion would be I think I belong with my bf, but is there anything else possibly?
This is a wonderful example of how the mind works, and the play between what we allow ourselves to think – our conscious mind – and what we do not allow ourselves to know – our unconscious. As an example of this here is another young woman’s dream.
Example: During my teens I was engaged to be married when I found a more attractive partner and was in considerable conflict. Consistently I dreamt I was at my fiancé’s funeral until it dawned on me the dream was telling me I wanted to be free of him. When I gave him up the dreams ceased. I don’t understand what this means, and its really bothering me. Why am I dreaming of this? Can you help me understand the meaning of these dreams?
Each person we spend time with, fall in love with, make love to or grow up with, or even with animals, we develop an incredible and often invisible bond. For instance many women and men write and ask why they keep dreaming of partners, parents of even old friends they have moved on from. You keep dreaming about your ex from years ago or old friends because while you lived with them you experienced millions of memories, situations, conflict and learning experiences. So you carry them with you as memories, lessons learnt, love or anger still trying to find a way of being absorbed.
So in a way it is not your husband, ex or others you are dealing with but yourself – we dream about them and use them as a symbols of what we picked up from the relationship. We cannot have a mass of experience with someone and move away without it influencing us. Life is, in a very real way, a learning experience, and every new experience has to be fitted into what we are learning.
Cheated on: Many dreams of this are sent and here is an example:
Example: In my dream I’m with my ex girlfriend (who I still hang out with) we are hanging out being really close and lovey on each other. Then I leave the room for something and when I come back she is with a man. In this reoccurring dream she is always with a different guy and I don’t know who any of them are. When I walk in they are really close to each other and holding hands sometimes she is sitting on his lap. In my dream it always breaks my heart and I tell her how I feel and she acts like she doesn’t care. Then I wake up. In real life we were together for 2 years and I’m a girl. While we were together she cheated on me with men. We still hang out today but we are just friends with benefits.
This type of dream is usually from a young woman who either sees her boyfriend with another man or has powerful suspicions that he is seeing someone else. The dreamer is actually meeting her unresolved feelings of jealousy, of feeling not as good as the other person and not being lovable.
Ex-lover/boyfriend: This frequently shows any feelings or hopes still connected with him. The ex-boyfriend or lover often becomes a symbol for all the hopes for love that are not being satisfied at the moment, or in the present relationship. Sometimes it is a way of digesting or living in the past. It may occur in some dreams that the ex-lover is seen as a dead body, or a murder is involved. This is usually because we are killing, or have killed some of our longings and love for that person.
Example: Although married for almost nine years, I have been dreaming almost every night about an old friend. We used to date twelve years ago, but although we still meet occasionally, our relationship now is purely platonic.
About two weeks before I found out he was getting married I had a dream where he handed me a single red rose and said ‘I love you, but the time’s not right’. In the latest dream I was reading a paper with the heading ‘Broken Hearted Babies’, with a picture of both of us as babies, with our names underneath. Amanda – Teletext.
Obviously Amanda still has unfulfilled longing and dreams in regard to her ‘old friend’. Even so it is worth reading the things in the previous section.
Example: I dream I am in a room with my ex-boyfriend – Gary. I feel scared about having sex with him but want him to show me all the excitement and thrill of sex. I love him but can’t tell him how much I want the enjoyment of his body closer to mine. You are the first person I can write to telling about having sex with my ex-boyfriend. Donna – Lancs.
Relationships are complicated and here Donna is experiencing the conflict of wanting him yet being separated. Remember that dreams are like computer games I which you can be killed, make love a thousand times, and come away none the worse – unless of course you feel that what happened was exactly like waking life. Then you would have the sort of questions and dilemmas you are telling me about. See Dreams Like a Computer Game; Dreams are a reflection of your inner world.
Daughter’s boyfriend: This may illustrate your judgements and feelings about the boyfriend.
Male dreaming of boyfriend: Usually this is about the qualities of weaknesses you witness in your friend. See the entry on Characters and People in Dreams to understand this. It can also be about the reasons you have become friends, and the intricacies of the relationship.
Useful Questions and Hints:
If this is about a past love, what do I honestly now feel about him and why?
Do the events in the dream show what I fear – and if so can I honestly see them as fears, not reality?
What relationship situation does the dream depict, and how does this comment on waking life?
See Growing Up to Love – People Animals and Objects of our Dreams are Projections
Comments
Hey tony. I could really use your help! I was with a girl for about 3 years on and off. It was a rocky relationship but we had excellent chemistry. We haven’t been together for two and a half years now and I’m currently engaged and to be married Friday. The cause of our break up was me. I had been unfaithful and though we tried to work it out she still had trust issues. Plus her parents were extremely disapproving so we had to hide the fact that we had a relationship. I ended up breaking it off because the mix between what I had done and her parents. I felt like we wouldn’t be able to have a real relationship or family. The girl I’m with now I know I’m in love with her. The chemistry is unlike anything I’ve ever had. I look at her and know she is my soulmate. But I keep dreaming about my ex! I have not been unfaithful to my partner or even consciously thought about my ex. What does it mean and how do I make it stop?
I should also add that I’ve been with my fiance now for two years and have also had the dreams quite often in the two years. Even before I got with Brooke(my current) I was hsvig these dreams.
Rem 🙂
It depends on the content of your dreams about your ex, which you did not share. (do you have sex with her in your dream, are you happy together, do you fight with each other etc.)
Another thing is that rocky relationships take some to digest, reason why she could still appear in your dreams.
I trust it will be helpful to read
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/digest/
Or perhaps she is mainly the symbol of the female inside you?
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-anima-jungs-view-of-the-female-in-the-male/
I trust these links give you inspiration to work towards a better understanding of these dreams.
Good Luck!
Anna 🙂
Rem – You are not actually dreaming about your ex. When you think about anyone, do you think it is them in your thoughts. No it is just your thoughts about them.
But because you are now getting married or are now married (many blessings to you both) your dreams are reviewing the lessons learned in the past relationship.
So it is not your ex you are dreaming of, but your dreams are showing you your inner feelings about the past relationship and all the memories needing to be digested and learned from. Remember that because you were together for a while there is no way you can ‘have nothing to do’ with someone you have been intimately involved with. It doesn’t work like that. Most people are often totally unaware of the massive experience they take in during a relationship and how it interacts with them when we love someone. In other words the memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event.
So do not try to get rid of the dreams, but see it as your inner being digesting and refining what you learned from the past. If you got rid of it you would lose an important part of you. You would lose a great part of you. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/digest/
Tony
Thank you so much Tony. What you said makes so much sense. What I get from them after reading your comment is that my subconscious is telling me not to make the same mistakes like I have in the past as far as straying and the downfall of the past. I now can be at peace with the dreams instead of feeling guilty and I thank you so much! Don’t ever stop what you’re doing because it is amazing and very helpful!
Hello
I’m always having dreams that I’m searching for my boyfriend. Can you help me understand why?
Tequila 🙂
It will be helpful to you if you can ask yourself what it is you feel you are missing.
Please read
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/search-searched-searching/
Do you feel that- although you are still in a relationship with your boyfriend – he is not really (emotionally) present when you are together?
Or perhaps he never was?
Can you imagine being your own best friend?
Like taking the time to listen to your true needs and support them?
Please read
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/friend/
QUOTE
_______________________________________
To understand the friend you need to be that friend. I mean imagine yourself in their body and see how it feels, and describe yourself as them, even ask them questions. In doing so do not forget that this is a part of yourself you are making more real. Don’t get the silly idea this is someone else, even though they have the face and body of someone else. In this way you will discover an enormous amount about your own strength and ‘goodness’. But if you cannot do that, then at least imagine talking to them ask them questions and listening for their replies. Or if you cannot even do that, then remember that you have a good friend and treasure it.
Bad Friend: This is the opposite of what was said above. So take heed of what you learn and try to avoid repeating the mistakes.
_______________________________________
Good Luck!
Anna 🙂
Hi.. lately I been having dreams about my ex boyfriend we haven’t been together since new year day or spoken to each other. Last night I had a dream my ex boyfriend huge and tells me he loves me too without me saying I love him. We where together for almost 3 years and he never said those words to me. What does this mean?
Dimayra – It doesn’t mean that you ex boyfriend loves you deeply. What is does mean is that you have an inbuilt drive to find a mate. That drive satisfies itself by creating a dream lover. It does this by tapping a deep resource we all have of meeting our inner male. You need to read these to understand – http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/questions-2/#Summing and http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/
Tony
If I understood it right than it does seem that your dream is the oposite of what you guys had in reality, but what you wished it was. You said that you have been together for three years, apart since new year and he never said I love you, so basically in reality you are trying to be strong and not miss him, you do not know where this breakup leaves you but you wish for him to come back but not just talk on the phone than decide to go out together more like inside you wish or hope that he will iniciate the start of the realtionship by coming to you, giving you a hug and tell you that he loves you. It is like you really want him back on this termes, for him to realize how impotrtant you are and tell you how much he missed you and how miserable he was, and also for the first time him being the one that gives hugs and says I love you without you having to say it. You want the relationship with him but also you want the confidance, the value, the importance which it does seem you lacked this while in the relationship with him.
So sinse I broke up with my ex boyfriend from an on and off again relationship of 4 years per say I have been dreaming only of him, yes I admit I always think of him even when im with someone else. Its been eight months. he does not have any desire to talk to me and I moved far away so that I could heal fromother personal issues of mine. I had a dream last night I was to get married to this man the family was there the man treated me very good ive moved in with him and then my ex calls and wants to be with me and travels all the way over to see me and I just pack all my stuff up and leave with him all the family surrounding me judging me but i just pack up and get in the car with him. I am in a good relationship now he is so good to me. and just had my first valentines day with him. but I cant shake this feeling, and its been like two times a week i have a different dream about him. Probably not a good thing idk?
And theres other dream too i ask myself why i always dreaming a baby new born and then theres a people want to catch me and i run and run carrying the baby someone wanted get the baby..i dream this..in an alternate month this year..always appear in my dream other happenings in dream i forgot cause it has many options what doing indream but one thing i dont forgot a baby always appear in my dream always this year.. imso scared about that i dont know whats the meaning.
Yesterday february13 i dreamed my exboyfriend …first of all me and my sister we cross pedestrian lane many people street i saw and were hiding along the people cause we scared the police catch we and the signal light is red.and when i looked my side my sisters is gone onething i remember that my sister gone and become my exboyfriend…then will see a bycycle they got it and ride it with me together will going to school…and he wait for me until i go out in school…and i see my neighbor man waiting me there too…hes married…but i hide along the corner cause my ex waitingme too…until..i go out i came my ex will..go home..and in that place of home..i said just tex me i had contact of my friend. He said yes…and i go back school im ashmed of my..neighbor cause i hide from him…?…..in feb.14..my dreams continue..i was had argument with my current lovers cause he wants to see who tex me cause my ex sending message..until.. i wake up cause i forgot the other happen in dream…can you tell mean of that?
I dream of my ex boyfriend again. We both hold our own families now. Only in my dream despite our commitments he still shows off that he wants to get back with me. I was sliding downwards, I gave my hand and he kissed it. Looking at me strangely, that in the way he stares it something different. He even texted me that he is not totally in love with his wife and hard to say his wife in an endearing word. My hubby was even present in that dream too. I admit he still owns a space in my heart. In reality were Facebook friends and liked each others photo sometimes. I don’t actually have his number today, but 2 years ago I reached out to him. He was going home to the province for all saints day and I said will meet and invited him at my house and he gets over with friends. That time he was still single I already have 2 kids 2 and 3 of years. He opens up around our past when the friends are gone. We began to blame each other. At present in my dreams he always pops out even if I don’t think of him. I even dream that he gets a woman pregnant, but he went off.
I had a dream that me and my ex-boyfriend got married. we at home just sitting around and his child mother called and said she was coming over their. She came and her brother. They were knocking on the door..they bust the door or I opened it.anyway. the girl came in and we had some words with each other and her brother came in and went into the back room and shot my husband and it was so unexpected because I didn’t know that was going to happen and neither did he.
letter on that day I went to church and one of my friends came to church unexpected and I didn’t even know he was coming. and I only been talking to him for about two weeks anyway.. he spoke in the congregation and they were surprised because he was the new face in the church but they didn’t know if he came with me or not.. this is not a dream.. this is what happened after the dream..
I had a dream about my exboyfriend and his current girlfriend I was hanging out with her and she wanted to know why him and I broke up so I told her and my ex showed up and was trying to talk to me and I said there’s nothing to say and walked away to a van and his step mom was there and she hugged me and then I walked away and my ex chased after me to try and talk to me and he was being sincere and nice him and I have no contact at all what does this dream mean
I had a dream that I was in a group who knew of my turbulent relationship with my ex. In the dream we walked past my ex’s house. One of the women went in and spoke with my ex. I was projected as a different person, young, naive. After they talked, it was revealed that he still loved me. I still loved him in my dream.
Do I have deep hidden issues that need to be resolved, or is my mind playing tricks.
Dear tony, iv awoken from another dream around five in the morning. It’s been two years now since my ex and I broke up and yet I consist of having dreams. These dreams brighten my heart though, in further more details I left him two years ago because I was young and didn’t know what I wanted, iv been with several people after him and I split just to get out of my head that I’m madly in love with someone who will never forgive me for leaving him. Well I didn’t know how in love with him I truly was until the dreams started appearing. A few weeks after we split the first one occurred, after a few months lead on they stopped then happened again these dreams come and go very so often. They consist of him saying he forgives me and him holding me, and being the happiest girl alive. They feel way to real, almost like a lucid dream. I wake up every time from these dreams wondering what it means and why? I’m a bussy single mom of one, so I never have time to think about him. Ever. But when I shut my eyes and have a dream that he forgives me and we’re together again, I wake up with my heart pounding. Wishing it was true. And I get mad that I wake up from these dreams, but it’s been two years even longer, I haven’t even seen his face in over a year as well. But I need your help, I need to know what this means! If you have any idea or can help in anyway! Thank you
Hi there,
I had a lady circle me for a number of years wanting a relationship with him. She is now engaged and planning a wedding and of late has been occupying my mind a lot. Yesterday I had a dream about her. She was in the hall with her fiancé holding hands. There were a lot of people in the hall and I was getting around the hall to say hello to everyone individually. As I approached her she was no longer holding hands with the fiancé. I remember in the dream that it appeared she did not want me to see her holding hands with the fiancé. What’s does this dream mean thx
I met my first love when I was 22 years old. We broke up after 3 years because of the things I did wrong. It was for the better, she deserved better than what I could give or do for her. Had I pursued her after the breakup, in my heart – I know we would of reconciled but I chose to let her go and find better. It’s been 13 years, I dream about her all the time. In my dreams when I see her, she looks the same and we are in love, just happy to be together but even in the dream I know it’s not going to last and I wake up sad. 3 years ago she tried finding out about me through a mutual fried but I wouldn’t let it evolve. Basically, she hates me and told my friend that she blamed me for the past (even though I apologized than and i am sorry still now). She has even said that regrets meeting me. I have a fiancé now who I’ve been with for 7 years and who I wish to remain faithful too but the dreams keeping happening. At least 2xs a week, I even dreamt of her phone number and it was her number… What does it mean and what should I do.
Thomas – An interesting dream, and thank you for explaining your situation so well. It is an excellent example of how we mix up our dream/inner life with our waking life, hopes and longings.
You see because you were together for a while there is no way you can ‘have nothing to do’ with someone you have been intimately involved with. It doesn’t work like that. Most people are often totally unaware of the massive experience they take in during a relationship and how it interacts with them when we love someone. In other words the memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event.
Obviously you have dealt with what you have interiorised from the relationship much better than your partner. She is still in conflict with herself and the result is the difficult emotions she feels. You seem to have digested it all well and have gone on to a form of inner marriage. This may be understandable if you read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-anima-jungs-view-of-the-female-in-the-male/
Strangely enough, although you were apparently the cause of the original breakup, you have become much more capable of forgiveness and love than your ex.
The dreams probably keep happening because there is something that you are not at ease about concerning the past. Sometimes we want make thinks right or show our ex that we in fact love them even though we may not wish to be with them. But often the ex doesn’t want any form of contact with you because they are still not dealing with the hurt of your parting.
You have a good relationship at the moment – look after it. See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/learning-to-love/
Tony
Hello, Tony, I had a dream of my ex lover, who I have not had any contact with in two years. The person was in his office looking through Christmas cards he received from his clients . I was standing in the doorway to his office looking at him . He looked up at me, and stared with out saying anything. The look on his face was not happy. I noticed he was starting to grow out his hair. I saw a little growth. He is a black man who has always been bald. I do remember we had kissed with passion after an absence with out seeing each other. The chemistry was still strong between us, after so long. That is all I remember.
hi
I had dream about my lover is proposing to me with huge ring looks like a butturfly or something huge and flat. He knelt down in his knee and asked after wards i had the ring in my right hand’s annular finger. /PS:in real life, currently with this guy I am in long term relationship and dont know when we can see each other/ and later on there were guy i used to see come and i showed him my ring and said i am married, he said sth i dont remember. Can you please do answer my question. It is really important to me. What does it means?