Father Dad

General positive: Your father is often the authority figure in your early life, and may represent this influence or power in you as an adult.  Your dream father is a link with the patterns of survival behaviour passed on for generations. It was the attitudes of how to cope with social activity or work – the external world. But he is part of your creation.

He therefore also depicts the ability to be productive in the external workaday world. Depending upon what level of relationship you have developed with him, your dream father is the power of creative life in you, the power to do, to create, to transform; the power in you to grow and unfold your potential. It has to be remembered that the dream father is not an image of your external father, but of what you carry of him inside you; what you have managed to develop of a working relationship with the power he represents. So you may, because of difficulties with your external father, be in conflict with your internal father, and so be lacking your full power to transform and create. See Integrating Parent of Ex; Power DreamingFamily.

The dream father may depict family or social conventions along with physical strength and protectiveness; the will to be and to do, and so your outgoing energies. As such he represent your confidence as you go out the door of your home into the arena of public life. A poor relationship with your external or internal father leaves you somewhat crippled in that area. But by working with your dreams on your relationship with your internal father this can be changed. See: Using Symbols to Change Life Problems; working with dreams.

General negative: Introverted aggression; dominance by fear of other people’s authority; uncaring sexual drive; feelings of not being loved, inability to be creative in the world, in your outer activity; inability to relate well to men. See: archetype of the father; man.

If there are feelings of abandonment then it can feel very emotional. Please see abandoned

Either represents the feelings you have about your father, or the characteristics in your nature that have arisen from this relationship; or can represent an authority figure. Can also stand for a teacher, or person by whom you are much influenced. Or else your own positive, protective qualities. How you relate to the ‘doer’ in you; physical strength and protectiveness; the will to be.

Example: Began to go into the back pain again. Words came about carrying feelings about on my back all these years. Get of my back. It’s my father. I wanted my father to be perfect like God. I wanted a strong, perfect father, not a human being.

Then I saw how I was trying to be the perfect father with my own children, instead of the human me. “It’s too much of a bloody burden being a perfect father.” I could see how this idea of drive to be the perfect father has directed a lot of my relationship with my children. In the early days I hated them at times because they showed me so often how human I was. Recently I still planned things out of that desire instead of letting what I want. Although lately there has been a swing to the human me. Yesterday I took them for a walk instead of a sauna. I do want to take them to a sauna some time, but yesterday I did not have enough cash, and to go would have been out of the perfect drive. Instead we went for a walk.  

Hurting, burying or killing parent: In the example below Audrey’s height shows her as a child. She is releasing anger about the attitudes and situations her father forced ‘down her throat’.

To be free of the introverted restraints and ready made values gathered from our parents, at some time in our growth we may kill or bury them in our dreams. Although some people are shocked by such dreams, they are healthy signs of emerging independence. Old myths of killing the chief so the tribe can have a new leader, depict this process. When father or mother is ‘dead’ in our dream, we can inherit all the power gained from whatever was positive in the relationship.

Seeing parent drunk, incapable or foolish: Another means of gaining independence from internalised values, or stultifying drives to ‘honour’ or admire father or mother.

Dead parent in dream: Either the beginning of independence from parent; repression of the emotions they engendered in us; our emotions regarding our parent’s death; feelings about death. See: dead people.

Example: Dreamt that while talking with my wife I remembered that my son and I had murdered someone years before, and buried the body under a great slab of cement. After the murder the guilt – or rather the fear of being found out – was awful, but as each period of time passed, we gradually managed to lose memory of what we had done. But now I had remembered and felt the anguish of the guilt and fear of discovery. C.R.

When exploring his dream, he says: “I was led to a direct feeling link with my mother as the dead body. I saw, or felt, that when I cut off from her at 5 and attempted independence of my need for her, because of the pain she brought about in me, I had killed her as an inward figure in my life, and buried my feelings of need for her. The cement represented the energy I had used, the decisiveness, to bury her, to get her out on my life. I went on to recognise that killing and burying my mother, or my relationship with my mother, in that way was not in my own best interests. It was really an expression of my own lack of love and awareness of my best survival direction. So imagined I took the bone’s and carefully and reverently buried them, along with my father.”

Example: ‘My father was giving me and another woman some medicine. Something was being forced on us. I started to hit and punch him in the genitals and when he was facing the other way, in the backside. I seemed to be just the right height to do this and I had a very angry feeling that I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me.’ Audrey V.

Sometimes a dream about our family is a literal statement in symbols, of what we sense is happening in the family.

Example: I was on a train with my family – wife, and two daughters. The train was derailed but nobody was hurt and we got off the train. I was walking in a field near the train. I thought my wife and daughters had got back on the train. Then suddenly another train smashed into the rear of the derailed train making it concertina into a heap. I wasn’t sure if my family were still on the train.’

Roger associated the theme of derailing with a change in direction – the change that was coming about through his children becoming independent. Some months later his wife and daughters left him. Divorce followed.

Example: The movements gradually led to feelings. These expressed a living connection existing between my ancestors and myself. This surprised me because I had years ago gone through the realisations of what I carried from my father and his fathers – the subjugation by church and state. But this was different. It was not that I was still carrying the attitudes and fears, rather that because I dared to step out of dependence and subjugation by authorities, deeper levels of influence of a transpersonal nature were being called out of my body. I experienced the sense of our family having lived for generations under fear – fear of death – fear of what people would do to us if we didn’t conform. My breaking away from such conformity was the activity that was squeezing it out of my body. It felt like changes had occurred in my body to adapt to that way of life. 

Inner Father: Many people do not realise that they have an inner father equally as powerful as an external father. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your father, and they are what makes you the person you are. This is true even if your father was never there for you – you still have all the memories of him not being there for you filed under ‘Father’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner father can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you.

The inner father can also signify what has been received via genes passed on or ancestral influences. See ancestorsparent integration

Many people are lost and feel as if they cannot more, are trapped, even by past loves. But in fact the more people we can ‘digest’ or accept as part of our own experience, the more freedom we have. Each person we have within us in this way is a new space, a new area or space to live in.

Example: Then I slowly became aware of a deeper sense of the discomfort. It was a feeling of being stuck in one place and not being able to move. It wasn’t anything to do with moving physically but was as an awareness. It felt awful and I tried to move but couldn’t. The only way of describing it was as if we are all made out of the same stuff – as an example concrete – and as such we filled all space. So the little space I filled could not move because all around was filled by others. I felt really stuck and wondered what I could do, but there seemed no way out of it. Yet I could not believe this was really how things were.

Most of this was spontaneous thoughts and movement through the experience, so that was how I was led to thinking about my cousin Sid again, and his situation of being constantly linked with his mother even after he died. Then I realised that I was linked with Rita, and in feeling that I realised that I could move in at least two positions – me and Rita – because of the loving connection I felt.

Then came a flood of realisation, every person I had loved was another position I could be in; and then I knew all the animals I had loved and even people I had a casual relationship with. But there was even more because in dreams and sessions I had become or encountered amazing things, people, creatures, the alien beings and others. I knew then that I was FREE to go anywhere and be almost anything, because their life pattern was now part of me. Then with a rush of wonder, I realised that the more people and creatures I loved, the bigger I became. See Digest

Useful questions and hints:

How is my father portrayed in the dream – dominating – caring – distant?

What does this say about the ‘father’ influences I carry inside me?

Does my dream show what impact on my present life my father has?

You can go back into the dream and become your father, and have a conversation with him.

See Life’s Little Secrets – Being the Person or Thing – Techniques for Exploring your DreamsProcessing Dreams



-Gloria J 2016-02-04 9:00:07

I recently had a dream about my dead father(14 years come March). I’ve not often dreamt of him in the past 14 years. Anyway, in the dream my youngest sister and I were curriers, delivering packages. At some sort of music festival, although I don’t remember hearing music. (Dad was a “hippie”, loved music). My sister showed up with a package with my name on it. It was giant oil drum, the metal 50 gallon kind. When I opened it my father’s corspe was in it. Not rotten, or bones, just his body. I immediately woke up, was covered in sweat.

I can’t shake the image of him in the barrel.


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-Estelle 2016-01-19 3:00:22

I had a dream about people dying, different stories were told about their murder. I just woke up and wrote down all I could remember because when I woke up, I felt very constricted. I can’t remember much except for the last murder story. I had a dream about people dying I didn’t know. A little boy and his dad die, the little boy was stabbed after his dad was I can’t remember if his dad killed him or someone else but the little boy and his father were on the bed when they were both killed . Now that I think about it the bad kind of look like my father’s actual bed in his apartment . The little boy was saying something that I cannot remember but he sat there looking at his father dying with blood all over the bed and he was crying and he two died. Immediately when he died wherever they were it was a little Duller they were in the same room and on the bed but life is Duller. A gorgeous girl showed up on the bed and told him he should not of been there which I’m guessing was hell. She said he was murdered in correctly, that it should’ve been quick and there shouldn’t of been purple and blue(idk why but I remember this distinctively). Then I woke up out of nowhere when I heard my mom’s TV in the other room it’s not that loud but the TV was screaming I’m coming for you. I couldn’t tell if she was locked outside screaming that to me or just the TV after I listen for a few seconds I realized it was the TV. But for a while still felt like I was in a dream when I thought she was outside screaming at me like that. It really scared me. I also recall my sleeping position I was as stiff as a board. I was looking straight up with my arms to my size in my leg straight. I never sleep like that. I’m usually in a left or right fetal position. Thank you.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-01-25 11:45:45

    Dear Estelle – Feeling constricted and “as stiff as a board” might reflect how you are not expressing certain parts of your inner world; they are dead in a way (murdered) and you are aware that it makes your (inner) life less bright; duller. In order to explore these inner aspects that have died and all the other symbols in your dream you can use http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson.
    It is good to realise that anything that dies in your inner world can be brought back to life again, for instance by using http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/the-lifestream/#Open.
    I wonder if this part of your dream – “A gorgeous girl showed up on the bed and told him he should not have been there which I’m guessing was hell. She said he was murdered in correctly, that it should’ve been quick and there shouldn’t have been purple and blue (idk why but I remember this distinctively).” – also reflects an aspect of you – the gorgeous girl – who was/is in conflict with the little boy and your way out of the conflict; to avoid the conflict/pain to continue at that time was to murder the boy; and so your inner male did not get a chance to further develop and mature; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/
    Psychologically, you may only express part of your potential in everyday life. Your more physically dynamic, intellectual and socially challenging side of yourself such as assertiveness and taking charge of situations may be given less expression. Apart from this some features, such as innovation and creative rational thought, may be held in latency.
    (Inner) Conflicts can be perceived as “hell” too if you have not learned to deal with them in a way that can help you heal and grow. The conflict might have its roots at being a witness as a young child of how your father was wounded deeply psychologically.
    Both the colours purple and blue refer to inner thoughts/feelings/experiences and it might be helpful to explore these too by using “Being the colour”; see also http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/purple/ and http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/blue/
    It will also serve a purpose to explore every “should (not) have” in your “gorgeous girl part” (use “Being the gorgeous girl) because they might reflect certain beliefs and or habits; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/beliefs/ and http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/habits/ that might be worthwhile becoming aware of too.
    Also observing your own ebb and flow of thoughts and feelings, your own habits and responses to things, is one of the most powerful of tools to use in transforming your life. This also leads to a fuller connection with your intuitive connection with your core; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/self-observation/
    Let me know if you have any questions Estelle.
    Anna 🙂

-Julia 2016-01-07 20:14:56

My father, whom I was very close too, passed away in May of 2013 of cancer. He was my best friend. I have had dreams of him before where he was just standing there smiling at me (along with a friends daughter whom had also passed) and I feel it was just his way of telling me that he is ok it the spiritual world. About a week ago I had another dream with my father. I don’t want to get into too many details, but in the dream, he was telling me, or showing me, that he was sleeping with a woman whom I believe my husband had an affair with right before we were married. What is the best way to interpret this dream. I’ve been told I have a very strong connection with the spiritual world and I’m just curious as to what this dream may actually symbolize. Please help….

-Johnny Byrd 2015-12-18 18:36:58

Hello, I had a dream a couple of mornings ago regarding my 19 year old deceased son. He had committed suicide a little over a month ago. The dream had occurred exactly 4 weeks to the day and around the same time he had passed. He and I were very close and his death came as a shock. I was reading his Facebook page the day before my dream and he had mentioned me a few times in the past, but about 50% of what he had written was fabricated. I was angry with him because of this and not sure if it had an effect upon the dream or if he had what is called a visitation dream. Anyway, the dream went like this (this is out of my journal):

I’d awoken from a dream at approx. 5:45am (4 week anniversary of Kai’s death at the approx. time of death) and the Tower of Power song “Very Hard To Go” was going through my head. The dream involved Kai and I at some type of drive through when a white car (similar to an older Toyota Celica?) with a short (5’8”) balding man with a mustache pulled in. He was wearing a black suit. Kai made his way to the other side (passenger side) of the car and was looking at his phone (he looked exactly as he did in his B & W “man bun” pic on Facebook ). A young teen girl with long dark hair, possibly his daughter, walked up to the car and he got out. Kai smiled at her as she waived at him. The man walked around to the passenger side of the car without noticing Kai and had a handful of money (for unknown reasons). Kai exchanged words with him and the guy was shaky. He tried to hand Kai a portion of the money and Kai grabbed it all and ran to left. I didn’t know what was going on and decided to run to the right. I hopped a fence and hid in a small pit in a gully. For some strange reason, I was wearing a gilley suit and nobody could see me. A man arrived with his kids and was throwing a ball around. I’d felt something move under my knee, backed out of the hole, and noticed a long gray/black tail belonging to some animal that was slithering around. I peeled of the gilley suit and hopped a small cyclone fence in front of me which led to a busy street. In the next scene, I was in my truck in traffic (appeared to be someplace like San Francisco) and checked my phone. Kai had tried calling a couple times about a half hour prior. I called him back and we only communicated in one/two word phrases at first:
Me: “You okay?”
Kai: “Yeah.”
Me: “You alone?”
Kai: “Yeah.”
Me (?): “What happened?”
Kai (crying): “I’m sorry, I fucked up(?)! Things are so hard and I didn’t know what else to do!”
Me: “It’s okay, Son. Where are you?”
Kai: gave location, but cannot remember what or where he said.
Me: “Wait for me…I’ll be there in a few.”
Then, I’d awoken to “So Very Hard To Go” running through my head and felt this strange sense of peace.

-dede 2015-12-12 4:01:58

I always dream about my dead step dad coming back to life. Yesterday day I dreamt of him being drunk. I was passing by and saw him at a local grocery too drunk. He was talking to a beautiful woman who was selling liquor their. After seeing him I walked to him and hold his hand and told him let’s go home dad. He agreed and we started heading back home. But until i woke up,,we didn’t get home. We were still on the way and actually the distance from where I picked him to home is about seven to ten minutes walk.(excuse my English,, its my third language)

-T Boyd 2015-12-11 1:25:34

I don’t no

-kimi 2015-12-03 16:30:40

I dreamt that I was helping someone clean a hotel room where we found my deceased step father dead and was confused because the hotel room at the time wasn’t occupied and as I was helping clean the room, it was too many items for someone to leave behind. I mentioned this to the friend i was helping and they shrugged it off and said to bag the items up. As we were bagging the items up it was all women’s undergarments and other miscellaneous items that i knew wasnt my mothers. One drawer was full of pretty padded bras and a deep purple camisole in the package out of place. As soon as we finished bagging the clothes, my friend tagged it with the room number and the date. All of a sudden a curvy brunette with long flowing locks in her bra and jeans comes out the bathroom asking for assistance in finishing to get dressed. My friend immediately goes to help her while I stand there confused because I know she wasn’t there when we initially found my step dad there. When I asked her she stated she was and was in a hurry to get dressed and demanding my friend to assist.

-Jennifer 2015-11-30 10:43:57

I just woke up from a terribly disturbing dream that was so vivid it seemed real. Usually when I dream, I never see myself in them physically, this time I could.
I was with my mother, sitting beside my father’s hospital bed, there was a male nurse by his side and I couldn’t see his face. The nurse was securing an IV my father’s arm, and said to my mother and I, “This will help his pain, it won’t be long now.”, and he left. My mother and I sat by his bed, my father turned his head towards me, and looked me in the eye. I sat there helplessly watching him slip away. He had passed. Then suddenly, my mother and I were sitting at the foot of his bed. The same male nurse came back and offered condolences, and asked us if I wanted to wash his feet. So he pulled up the blanket and I recall staring blankly at his feet in preparation to wash them. This entire dream, I was watching myself with my parents as if I was sitting on the opposite side of the bed. I was also very aware that I was watching myself. As I said, usually when I dream and I know I am in them, I dream from my point of view as if I am walking around in the dream world. To actually see myself and my mother the entire dream, being aware of myself watching in my head is strange to me. Any help with some kind of interpretation would be so much appreciated. My father is ill of health, but not terminally ill, and normally enjoys working on cars in his retirement. Both of my parents are living, and my brother is a male nurse.
I understand you are probably flooded with requests like this one, and it could take awhile if at all. However any help or guidance you can provide would be very much appreciated.
This dream disturbed me and has me feeling physically tired after a full nights sleep.
Blessings to all of you,

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-12-04 17:58:05

    Dear Jennifer – I feel it will be helpful to explore what exactly you perceived as disturbing about your dream.
    When you perceived seeing yourself from a detached point of view in your dream as disturbing, it might help to read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/identity-and-dreams/
    A dream can be explored from many angles and on many levels and one approach could be that you are exploring having to let go at some point of your father’s physical presence in your life.
    Dreams often stand in place of actual experience. So through dreams we may experiment with new experience or practice things we have not yet done externally.
    When I explore your dream from another level then the death of your inner father can be seen as a form of letting go of certain aspects that you absorbed from him while you were living with him.
    Letting go of these aspects is experienced as “the death of the old” in order to make way for something new/a new approach in your inner world; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-archetype-of-rebirth-or-resurrection/
    As you can read in this article;
    “We usually face a deeply felt experience of death before encountering the archetype of rebirth. Neither the death nor the rebirth or resurrection are things that happen quickly. There may be dreams, waking subjective experiences or a short period in one’s life when death or rebirth are felt very strongly – but the process as a whole is a psychological one which may take years to unfold and stabilise.”
    Because you are observing the whole situation from “the opposite side of the bed” I wonder if the way you experiment with this situation expresses a certain approach that is not familiar to you (yet).
    Sometimes we can perceive a new way of dealing with our (inner) life as disturbing too; disturbing to the old ways that we might want to hold onto.
    This unknown approach/aspect of you is also symbolised by the male nurse without a face. Having no face is probably what is called a shadow figure if you see it on another person and it expresses parts of your nature or behaviour that you usually keep hidden or do not admit to.
    You might want to try being the “male nurse” – http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson
    Just think about him how he appears in your dream and then give it some time to allow thoughts and feelings to surface.
    If it does not work (yet) to explore your dream this way, then keep in mind that a dream is like a seed; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/#Seed
    After your father’s death, your caring part asks your dream figure to join by “washing your father’s feet”.
    You respond with “staring blankly/feeling empty” which can be understood on different levels too.
    Losing your father might leave you feeling a kind of emptiness.
    Because of the aspect of washing his feet I believe that a different kind of emptiness is meant in your dream though.
    In Buddhism, for example, the concept of emptiness is associated with renouncing ego and desire in order to achieve openness, inner peace, receptivity, and ultimately, enlightenment. This kind of emptiness is a way of perceiving experience without the attachment of ego or self.
    It is this emptiness that makes room for allowing Life/God and the function/role you choose to fulfil in the greater scheme of things;
    Let me know if you have any questions Jennifer.
    Anna 🙂

-Gary 2015-11-16 18:36:39

2 nights ago I had probably the most vivid and emotionally jarring dreams I’ve ever had. I’m a 39 year old man who grew up tough and does not cry easily, I don’t think I’ve cried as hard as I did after having this dream since the day my father died 5 years ago.

I dreamed I was in Las Vegas for work and staying at a hotel holding meetings there with the people who work for me and it was an all day process after which my team and I went out drinking at several bars and I became intoxicated. I returned to the hotel only to find out from one of the people who worked for me that my wife had arrived at the hotel with my father and the two of them had gotten married to each other, yes, my wife had left me for my father. I searched the hotel for them and finally found my wife to ask her why she would do something as extreme as leave me for my father, I can’t recall completely what her reasoning was but I remember at some point we stopped talking and I left the area where we had been discussing the situation and it got a bit hazy. Then I remember finding my middle child, my son Joseph who is named after my father and he and I were playing legos in the hallway in front of the hotel room where my wife and my father were sleeping. My son and I snuck into their room and I was confronted with the reality that my wife and my father were in bed together, they weren’t having sex, but I could tell they were nude under only a sheet. It was at this point that I finally started to focus on my father. I threatened him that if he got up out of the bed I would knock him out to which he said nothing and would not get out of the bed. (This is really strange because my father was not one to be intimidated by anyone physically or mentally. He was an ex-football player and brilliant man.) I convinced my wife to come outside the room with me to talk more about what was happening, we were on a large 2 story stair case in front of a floor to ceiling window and it was dark, the only light was from the moon. We talked about why she would do this to me, we never discussed the children though which I found strange, it was like they didn’t exist. (we have 3) I can’t remember still what her reasoning was for leaving me for my father, but I do recall asking her how she got to Vegas without me knowing. She said that her father had given her the money, I immediately got angry at this asking her what did her father think when she asked him for money to fly to Las Vegas to marry another man and my father to boot, (My Father-in-Law and I have a great relationship) I asked her what did she tell him, this was the only answer I can remember from the entire dream that she gave me in regard to her reasoning for leaving me, she said “I told him I needed a break” I remember I was wearing a hooded sweatshirt while sitting on the staircase with her in the dark and rolling over on my side crying, but I was faking it and she knew it. She said “stop faking” and I remember thinking to myself that I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t make the tears come out.
When I woke up after this I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved in my life, realizing that this was a dream gave me such a feeling of relief that none of this was real I could barely breath.

    -Tony Crisp 2015-11-17 11:52:07

    Gary – You are mistaken, because your dream was real – but it was not real in the life you lead outside in the world. Instead it was real in the world you have inside you and it that inner world you felt and knew the emotions you felt were real. See http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/inner-world/#MakesInner

    Also because you interpret everything in your dream as referring to your outer life it seems awful. But many people do not realise that they have an inner father equally as powerful as an external father. You have taken in the whole experience of living with your father, and they are what make you the person you are. This is true even if your father was never there for you – you still have all the memories of him not being there for you filed under ‘Father’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner father can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you. The inner father can also signify in dreams what has been received via genes passed on or ancestral influences.

    Also getting married in dreams is about uniting different parts of you nature or feelings into a new unity. So what do your associate with your wife and father? To find out try using http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

    But you started in the dream getting drunk – a sign that your awareness was changed which set you up for meeting the strange changes in your life.

    So the questions you should ask yourself after exploring being your wife and father and also reading http://dreamhawk.com/forums/index.php?topic=4065.0 – What happens when you unite your feelings about your wife with those of your father who was a man who was not one to be intimidated by anyone physically or mentally. He was an ex-football player and brilliant man?

    Also what do you feel was meant by ‘I needed a break’? Remember that you also have an inner wife and so is a part of you. So why does the feeling side of you need a break or even a brake? See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-anima-jungs-view-of-the-female-in-the-male/

    And the last question – why or what were you faking?


-Carline 2015-11-07 22:37:25

Hi there. I had a dream last night about my Dad coming back to life. I saw him sick and dying then in his coffin just to revive again…kinda like an Elvis sighting. I remember it was curious, because even though he and my Mom were together, they were living apart. I went to stay close to where my Dad was, and there was this apartment I was going to fix up that was attached to a laundry factory…It was a wide open space shaped like an L, but it needed work. My Dad and I worked on a lot of remodel projects when he was alive. He was the best Dad, so smart and knew everything but he, and we had a tough life and then he died from cancer. There were me, my sister and four brothers, we all loved him so much and even though it has been 9 years, I miss him every day. We had a lot of respect for him. After he died, things got even worse when I fond out my husband had been cheating with an employee and got her pregnant, there was a terrible divorce and I was really kicked hard to the curb. My whole life, everything I knew was shattered. I was also robbed in my house with my kids in my kids and I asleep which has made me afraid to be alone and my kids are grown now, and I have been feeling alone lately, and not knowing what to do with my life. In the dream, I felt this way, and undecided about my direction and fearful of people and situations around me. I was sleeping in a small bedroom in my dream, and woke up afraid hollering Daddy, Daddy, Daddy…. and my Dad came running in to see if I was ok, and I told him I had a bad dream…then I woke up missing my Dad. What does this mean?

-Vuyo 2015-10-20 16:00:04

I saw my dead father in a dream, he arrived at home in a casket but later he was outside the casket but i could only see his feet and they were swollen then he stood up and started walking, i was with my whole family, he went into my brothers room then i saw him again by the kitchen, he was struggling to walk, he was even falling. It’s the second time i dream of him coming home in a casket then be alive again. I would like to know what this means…

-Cleo 2015-09-28 11:13:34

I had a dream that the father I know wasn’t my dad. When I found out who my dad really was he only stuck around for a day and then he disappeared. In real life my dad and mum are divorced. I don’t have a father daughter relationship with my dad. My mom has never said anything bad about him to me while growing up. However I have this feeling of abandonment and not being fully loved by him. I was a baby when my parents divorced and I have always lived with my mom. Is this lack of love and nonexistent connection to him causing me to have a dream like this.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-10-14 12:16:18

    Dear Cleo – Yes, I believe that your dream is an attempt to digest and integrate the lack of relationship with your biological father.
    See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/digest/
    It will be helpful to understand that your inner father – http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/father-dad/#InnerFather – is not only formed by your relationship – or lack of it – with your biological father. This I believe is also expressed in your dream by “the father I know wasn’t my dad.”
    There is also a cultural representation of what a father is, and each nation has particular ways of representing this. During our growth, and continuing throughout adulthood, we are confronted with literary, artistic, film and drama representations of the role of father. These also form a powerful part of our inner ‘father’. These, along with the deeply inbuilt expectations at an almost biological level, of what our father is or should be, form our internal male parent, and in synthesis form the father archetype.
    See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-father/
    Your inner male is also a synthesis of all your male contacts, which could also be symbolised in your dream by “the father I know.”
    See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/
    Anna 🙂

-Bob Banaszewski 2015-08-29 16:33:16

Woke this morning quite tired after a full night of sleep. Had breakfast and decided to take a nap. After sleeping for 2 hours, I awoke remembering the following dream:

The dream begins in my parent’s house (my childhood home) with my father following my daughter down the stairs into the basement where I am located. I know my father is saying something angrily to my daughter, but I cannot understand what is being said. My father walks by me and I ask him, “What’s wrong?” Dad stops, looks at me, and mutters something that I don’t understand. He’s struggling to say something and his face is distorted. I’m thinking he’s angry with me too. He walks away, stops, turns around, and mutters something again with that distorted face. He knows what he wants to say but struggles to speak due to some physical problem. Now I’m worried he’s having a stroke. He departs out the basement door to the outside, still muttering, and falls into the arms of my wife. She catches him and props him up in a sitting position. I grab the phone to call for help and dial “0” rather than “911”. After realizing I’m not calling the correct number, I hang up, and dial the correct number. Then I woke up.

Dad passed away December 2013 after having cancer (brain tumor). He would have been 88 years old this past Thursday. Our family (mom, my 3 siblings and their families) is gathering later today to celebrate a Mass in his honor and dinner together afterwards. He was a good man and only got better with age. He was quite strict during my childhood. We were all a little scared of him back then.

A month after dad passed, I lost my job – 34 years of continuous employment broken. I was a well-compensated account executive with a long record of success. I was devastated to hear I was being laid off along with 300 of my fellow employees. After 6 months of seeking employment without much results, I decided to go back to school to retool and am now looking to launch my own business. Have a lot of important financial decisions to make in the coming weeks that will a have long-term impact, either good or bad, on my family and me.

Eva, my daughter in the dream, is the youngest of my children (4 daughters and one son, ages 13-21). This past Thursday, on my father’s birthday, Eva and I had a little squabble that she took quite hard.

My wife, the miracle child, has small-cell lung cancer. She’s refer to as “the miracle child” because it’s rare for anyone to go inactive with that type of cancer for as long has she has. Looking at her, you would never even guess that she’s a victim of cancer. My wife and children loved Dad dearly and he loved them.

What does this dream mean?

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-09-03 7:37:38

    Dear Bob – Thank you for sharing your dream and for sharing so much about your life. It clearly has been and continues to be a challenge in many ways and you sound like you are so willing to deal with everything and everybody in your outer world in the best way possible.
    So well even that it seems that you tend to forget about caring for yourself and your inner world.
    Whether you show or repress anger or fear in dreams it is important. This is because like any other basic or instinctive response, anger and fear use tremendous resources of emotional and physical energy. The repression of emotional energy can be a key factor in the breakdown of health, and in the lack of positive and creative self- expression. Blocked emotional energy tends to attack your sense of wellbeing and body if it is stopped from external expression.
    Could it be that you feel quite tired after a full night of sleep, because you do not give yourself enough space to express openly what goes on in your inner world?
    Are you still aware of what is going on in your inner world?
    I feel the best way to explore this is to use “Being the person or thing” and “Talking as a dream character”, especially for the role your father has in your dream.
    See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson
    Making an emergency call in a dream is a clear sign of a call for help and support and it will serve a purpose to ask yourself what it is that YOU feel you need help with, for I can only share with you what I believe.
    Please also read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/fall-fallen-falling-fell/
    I believe that both your calls – calling zero and the 911 call – express that you are aware that there is help available both from your unconscious mind – in the form of dreams for instance – and intuition and from the outer world; you answered the call yourself by posting your dream on the website.
    And so I hope I am able to give you a start in approaching your being in a different way.
    See also http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/lifes-little-secrets/
    Anna 🙂

-Veronica Racca 2015-07-22 22:14:29

Last night, 7/21/2015 was the first time since my daddy died that i had a dream about him, he died in 2005. I dreamt that i walked in to a store or room and he was sitting with a few family members, when i walked in daddy stood up, i was shocked and instantly started crying because it had been so long since i seen him and was so happy he was standing in front of me! He walked up to me and we hugged so tightly for a long. I then woke up!
Any idea why or what could that mean?

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