Marriage and wedding
Feelings about being or getting married; uniting two different aspects of yourself such as intellect and feelings, practical and intuitive self; the ‘marriage’ between conscious and unconscious self – any children of the marriage would be flowering of new abilities or qualities. But children of married partners can often indicate the state of the marriage, its problems of wonders.
Sometimes it refers to what our energy or drive is uniting us with – such as a new business venture or creative scheme – any children of this type of marriage suggest our intuitive assessment of the likely outcome.
There are many urges in a woman or man other than getting a good partner. There is also the urge to find recognition in society, to move toward independence, to find a comfortable place in life – probably alone, to achieve financial independence, or to have children.
In some cultures dreaming of a wedding signifies a death in the family.
But from the viewpoint of the unconscious marriage is not about a church or civil ceremony. As the most orthodox church Catholicism states, you are not married unless you have had penetrative sexual intercourse. If that has not happened there is no need for divorce because marriage never took place.
The unconscious sees it similarly. As soon as you have penetrative sex with anybody you have formed links that are not physically visible but make a form of marriage. But it has to be between a woman and a man, for marriage is a holy rite leading to the wonder of procreation, the giving of life, which is what we are all about being life forms; which is holy, not because the church says so, but because Life itself is a holy mystery. So a man can never be married in the true sense to another man, or a woman to a woman. They can have a civil ceremony but not a real marriage.
But although the point of marriage is procreation, in dreams the creation of a child still takes place as many woman and men have dream children – which is the birth of a new part of oneself. It is a bringing to consciousness a new part of you that has been developing but remained previously unexpressed. Such births need to be honoured even though there is no physical sign of a child. So the new dreamt baby is a vulnerable part of you that needs care to grow and become a real part of your waking life.
But from this viewpoint there are two types of marriage, the first is through sexual intercourse between a woman and man. The second is through a complete union of the whole couple. Some believe that the spiritual marriage comes through the agreement to abstain from sex which should be a free mutual decision, rather than resulting from impotence or the views of one party. But experience shows another view which arises as one is able to open one’s life to the divine within you. This leads to the full marriage which includes the body, the personality and the divine impulse.
Example: I was led into the experience of my merging with Divine Love in marriage – when I married P. Gradually I was led to realise that it wasn’t me and P. that were married, the marriage was between the duality if Life meeting itself in wonder and love. This went on to a visionary experience of knowing the birth of each of us was the birth of wonder, of light and transcendence. I realised that we are all then ‘put down’ by those who raise us, and so the light we are is dimmed to an extraordinary degree. And I carried this light to my own spiritual self and all the women and men – including my children – who I loved. This felt incredibly real as if they would realise for themselves that they are married to the Highest. Example: I wanted them in some way to share what I had experienced – that the most high had incarnated into us. God was not outside of us. We are it, living this strange, often difficult, but wonderful life. To have experienced that divine union in myself in the images of the divine female and the divine male as we join in a wondrous union, still moves me deeply as I write this. To be shown once more that I am, as we all are, an incarnation of that very mystery of life, is a very great gift.
Dreaming of wedding if single: As in the example below, Mary could equally as well have dreamt she was the bride, but being in her thirties and unmarried it is easier for her to consider or experiment with the idea of marriage using the image of her friend. Should she marry whoever offers? When single one often dreams of marriage as a way of clarifying – what it would be like; could one succeed in it; is the present partner okay; how shall one achieve it? Man dreaming of marriage: For a man marriage faces him with something quite different to a woman dreaming of marriage. It is a woman’s initiation, and a man may feel as if he has to give up his manhood. So he may be facing such fears in his dreams – although marriage is a meeting and often a merging with his feminine self. For a man it can also be intimating the uniting of his female characteristics. See hermaphrodite; archetype of the anima Marriage: When a woman and man marry, something that often happens is that the woman interiorises the man and feels she is now complete. She has her man in her life and in her. The man can do the same thing. That is fine when it works by them staying together faithfully. But if the man leaves the woman, or the woman leaves the man, because they had taken their partner into them to become whole, the leaving feels like something has been ripped out of them. It is a terrible shock. See Archetype of the Animus Wedding dress: Feelings and hopes about relationship and wedding; in a negative dream it represents anxieties about ones relationship or the future. Wedding dress given by mother: Qualities and strengths or problems absorbed from mother about relationship; letting go of external mother by expressing her qualities in the present.
Example: I am at the wedding of my best friend. The groom doesn’t turn up and she decides to marry the first person who comes along. I wonder whether this is a good thing to do.’ Mary T. Example: When I was engaged to my present husband I dreamt we were married and I looked down at my wedding ring. It was twisted and bent. In fact I now see it as a warning because we have not made a good marriage.’ S.W. Example: I am a gay 20 year old woman. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about four months now. Previously, she had been my best friend for six years. Last night, I dreamt that we were married. I didn’t dream of a honeymoon, or announcing our marriage, or even proposing or anything of that nature. In the dream, I just…knew that we were married. My girlfriend’s hair was significantly longer than it normally is, if that means anything. In the dream, she insisted that she wanted to have a baby, and she wanted to do it by becoming pregnant through a sperm donor. It was a little strange, because neither of us are really keen on the idea of having kids at all, much less actually becoming pregnant. We were both excited about it in the dream though. Example: It was the realisation that in the little community I live in I am the only single male. I am feeling, or guessing, that the other males here are curious about that. This led me onto spontaneous speculations about what this meant in my life and whether it was a problem I was not looking at. I saw that some of the women in my life have wanted me to be more fully involved as their partner. I sometimes puzzle why I don’t have the same need, or I don’t feel the same need in reverse. As I explored this it felt as if I didn’t want to be contained within a woman’s needs. It reminds me of the proprietorial aspect of male female relationships.
See: Integrating the female in the male; Integrating the male in the female; bride; bridegroom.
Comments
In my dream it’s my wedding day (however, in the dream I am already married-to my current spouse, yet we are marrying) prior to the start of the wedding we leave for a walk together and in that time I call off the wedding. As I walk back alone to the venue I change my mind after some thinking. I then tell my son to call my husband and tell him I still want to marry him. He agrees. I arrive at the venue and the wedding is now 2hours Behring schedule, the venue is so full not all of our guests fit and I see all of my family members happily awaiting. I then proceed to get ready and finally I very happily take a walk down the aisle. What could all of this mean?
This might be a little off but the dream I’m wondering about was not my dream. My boyfriend had a dream about getting married to me and he said he saw me in a wedding dress and veil. That same day his mom had a dream also that she helped me get ready for the wedding. They both seemed really enthusiastic about their dreams. My question now is what do these two dreams mean?
Yaz – The two dreams are not really about you. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions-2/#Summing to clarify this.
The dreams say that both your boy friend and his mother are very keen to see you married, and the approve of you as his wife. But they are not reflections or predictions of your own feelings. So carefully take stock of what you feel about your boyfriend and stay true to your feelings. See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/learning-to-love/
Tony
I always dream that im getting proposed to. Somewhere throughout the dream the groom to be dies. I then dream of a funeral with other multiple people that have passed away. This hasnt been the first time I’ve had a dream like this. When I wakeup i actually feel very sad and heartbroken. The thing I found weird is that im only 15 and getting these dreams. If I could get a reply that would be great.
Izabella – From what I understand from your dream you go through a cycle of feelings. You go through hope and good feelings, and then down into despair. Such things can be a program that was put into you while young. It is a like habit pattern that and it can be broken, but it takes real work to change ones habits. Part of what you feel is about death. Did you lose someone when you were very young? If so it could explain the dream.
Please see – http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/habits/ – http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions-2/#Summing – http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/
Tony
I’m only 15 and i had a dream that i was about to get married. The guy i was going to get married to is a friend of mine. He once told me he liked me, but later denied it, probably because i told him i didn’t feel the same. We still talk almost everyday though.
Anyway, in the beginning of the dream i seemed pretty much okay with the fact that i was getting Married to him. Later on, i realised that i got more nervous and reluctant about the whole idea. I remember walking into my classroom and finding my best friend in there sitting. My crush was also in the dream but all he did was stared when i was talking to my friend. I was telling her about how nervous i was and how i didn’t want to marry him anymore. At the same time i couldn’t face him because i didn’t want to hurt him.
It was a really weird dream to me.
I just hope i could know what it means.
Ps: The guy i was going to get married to and i do sometimes talk about marriage. Thought maybe this would help. 🙂
I really hope you reply to my comment because curiosity is killing me.
Curiosity – Dreams are a way of experimenting and learning. So through dreams we may experiment with new experience or practice things we have not yet done externally. For instance many young women dream in detail of giving birth – but in your dream you are seeing what you feel about marriage. Obviously it is early days in your maturing, so you will have more dreams until you feel right about marriage. Past experience often gets in the way and needs to be worked through.
The boy in the dream is simply an image created by your memories and the fact that you know and communicate with him. So please read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions-2/#Summing
Tony
Im 32 and single but I have had at least 4 dreams about getting married. In the dream, my family will be meeting the groom for the first time at the wedding. Im getting ready and getting the church and everyone organised but I know that the groom is not coming. I carry on going through the motions even though I know he isn’t coming. I think that, in the dream, we’ve only been in a relationship for a couple of weeks and I text him to marry me – to turn up at the church if he wants. The dream always stops before the ceremony begins. I always feel horrible when I wake up. Also, last night was the first time my wedding dress was in the dream. It was yellow and corseted but I remember thinking that it was ok that the dress was disgusting because the groom wasn’t going to turn up.
Any ideas anyone? I d like to know what this dream signifies
I had a dream that I was invited to my x boyfriend wedding and me and my family went. I then wanted to leave before the x saw me,and could not find the car to get family and leave.
I am wedding with 2 children
Soooo real
I never saw his face or wife face in dream
What your take
i had a dream that i was about to get married and i went to m dad and i was hiding it from him my fiance’s famil were there but none of mine were so when i went to my dad he said i was not going to get married what does this mean
I had a dream that I proposed to my very good friend who I have been in love with since I met him. I am a single 26 year old woman. In the dream, I was in my 30’s, we were in a resutrarant and I proposed with a black ring (either out of onyx or obsidian) with a small black diamond in the middle. He said yes and I was elated.
I would love your thoughts! Thank you!
Ok, here goes. I am a 56yo single woman with a good job, I don’t have a boyfriend now. I had a dream that I had a beautiful wedding, and got married to my first boyfriend. (I was 14 years old when I got my first real boyfriend, he was great) I wore a beautiful wedding dress and we were very happy! I was so happy. What in the world could that mean?
Hi, I had a dream last night that I was getting married to my boyfriend… the strange part though, was that I recognized his personality as that of my boyfriend, but his outer looks were that of a friend of mine. Also, the wedding seemed to be a throw together thing that was all going wrong at the last minute. I woke up before there was a ceremony, and I woke up stressed. Thoughts? Thanks!
i dreamed that finally i got happily married with my current boyfriend which i have a relationship for 2 and a half years and still counting. can you please interpret the meaning of these.. thanks
Sandra – Such dreams usually occur when you begin to feel confident about your ability to love and be loved. Many people have never felt really loved, and this shows in their dreams. But your growing confidence is shown in your dream of getting marriage – a union between you and yourself.
It doesn’t usually predict you will get married, but it does show your strength and so it might have a real influence of future events. So go for it.
Tony
I had a recurring dream that I am married to different men in each dream and I was really happy… Bare in mind that I’m single. It kinda makes me think what does it mean because these dreams happened 2 days in a row. One day I had 2 dreams of getting married to 2 different men and the next day to a completely different man… One dream was about a guy I know and the other 2 dreams were 2 stranger men! Any interpretation?
Rym – Dreams are an environment in which you can safely experiment.
Dreams often stand in place of actual experience. So through dreams we may experiment with new experience or practice things we have not yet done externally. For instance many young women dream in detail of giving birth. This function of what might be called ‘imagination’ is tremendously undervalued, but is a foundation upon which human survival is built.
So you are probably experimenting with different men; either that or like most men’s sexual dreams, it is a different woman in each dream.
Tony
I had a dream that i the man i am in a relationship with, i do not end up marrying him but someone who has been liked by my mother. The wedding night there us not much interaction with but the next morning i approach him and feel that i am attracted and very happy with him. But than I also see my current boyfriend through the window whi is standing by the pool and feel fearful…for not telling and trying to hide it from him!
When my husband is about to leave for his house, btw he has married me without his mother’s approval and assures me that she will be happy with his decision even though she might have had other hopes for him, i break down and tell him about my boyfriend!
I think the dream end there…i have mixed feeling and he my husband is angry! But i have really started to like him at this point 🙁
Few times I have been dreaming about my marriage but in the mid of marriage ceremony i just get up saying that i dont want to marry now…..even once or twice i saw I am getng married to the person whom i love..and that too with parents approval and their presence..still i got up saying “I dont want to marry now I will marry u but not now”.
one more as it was my marriage but the groom is not fixed one is the person i love and the other some different.. I dnt knw with whom i got married.. But next day my mother came to chk whether in between me and the person to whom i got married is normal..But it wasn’t….
Before I say my dream Ill give a little bg info about me. Im 16 and this guy I like is 18. We talked a couple of times but stopped since we barely see each other in school. I really like him but the weird thin is that we barely know each other. In June he’s going into the marines.
I never told him how I felt but I think he knows. So anyway I had a dream I argued with him over something. The next day, I was walking down an isle with a man and woman standing together on both sides of the isle. I reconized this first boy as his best Friend. and as I walked down the isle everyone was saying congrats to me and smiling till I got down the isle did I notice he planned the wedding for me!(the isle was in a forest that felt like it went on forever!) Weird I know, I just want to know what it means…
Natalie – One of the important things about a mature relationship is to tell the one you like how much you feel for them. That is not to say the person will handle it well or with care, but at least you have been open.
As for what the dream means, it could be dreams lots of people get in which they are seeing what it feels like to get married with a guy they fancy. It doesn’t mean it will come true, but it does show that you mean business. Now it is up to you to see if you can do some magic and make it come true – if you want to.
Remember the guy is going in the marines, and at such times a man wants a woman to hold onto because he is alone in a new and often strange world. Having a girl friend can be wonderful – but it can always change.
Tony