Marriage and wedding

Feelings about being or getting married; uniting two different aspects of yourself such as intellect and feelings, practical and intuitive self; the ‘marriage’ between conscious and unconscious self – any children of the marriage would be flowering of new abilities or qualities. But children of married partners can often indicate the state of the marriage, its problems of wonders.

Sometimes it refers to what our energy or drive is uniting us with – such as a new business venture or creative scheme – any children of this type of marriage suggest our intuitive assessment of the likely outcome.

There are many urges in a woman or man other than getting a good partner. There is also the urge to find recognition in society, to move toward independence, to find a comfortable place in life – probably alone, to achieve financial independence, or to have children.

In some cultures dreaming of a wedding signifies a death in the family.

But from the viewpoint of the unconscious marriage is not about a church or civil ceremony. As the most orthodox church Catholicism states, you are not married unless you have had penetrative sexual intercourse. If that has not happened there is no need for divorce because marriage never took place.

The unconscious sees it similarly. As soon as you have penetrative sex with anybody you have formed links that are not physically visible but make a form of marriage. But it has to be between a woman and a man, for marriage is a holy rite leading to the wonder of procreation, the giving of life, which is what we are all about being life forms; which is  holy, not because the church says so, but because Life itself is a holy mystery.  So a man can never be married in the true sense to another man, or a woman to a woman. They can have a civil ceremony but not a real marriage.

But although the point of marriage is procreation, in dreams the creation of a child still takes place as many woman and men have dream children – which is the birth of a new part of oneself. It is a bringing to consciousness a new part of you that has been developing but remained previously unexpressed. Such births need to be honoured even though there is no physical sign of a child. So the new dreamt baby is a vulnerable part of you that needs care to grow and become a real part of your waking life.

But from this viewpoint there are two types of marriage, the first is through sexual intercourse between a woman and man. The second is through a complete union of the whole couple. Some believe that the spiritual marriage comes through the agreement to abstain from sex which should be a free mutual decision, rather than resulting from impotence or the views of one party. But experience shows another view which arises as one is able to open one’s life to the divine within you. This leads to the full marriage which includes the body, the personality and the divine impulse.

Example: I was led into the experience of my merging with Divine Love in marriage – when I married P. Gradually I was led to realise that it wasn’t me and P. that were married, the marriage was between the duality if Life meeting itself in wonder and love. This went on to a visionary experience of knowing the birth of each of us was the birth of wonder, of light and transcendence. I realised that we are all then ‘put down’ by those who raise us, and so the light we are is dimmed to an extraordinary degree. And I carried this light to my own spiritual self and all the women and men – including my children – who I loved. This felt incredibly real as if they would realise for themselves that they are married to the Highest. Example: I wanted them in some way to share what I had experienced – that the most high had incarnated into us.  God was not outside of us.  We are it, living this strange, often difficult, but wonderful life.  To have experienced that divine union in myself in the images of the divine female and the divine male as we join in a wondrous union, still moves me deeply as I write this.  To be shown once more that I am, as we all are, an incarnation of that very mystery of life, is a very great gift.

Dreaming of wedding if single: As in the example below, Mary could equally as well have dreamt she was the bride, but being in her thirties and unmarried it is easier for her to consider or experiment with the idea of marriage using the image of her friend. Should she marry whoever offers? When single one often dreams of marriage as a way of clarifying – what it would be like; could one succeed in it; is the present partner okay; how shall one achieve it? Man dreaming of marriage: For a man marriage faces him with something quite different to a woman dreaming of marriage. It is a woman’s initiation, and a man may feel as if he has to give up his manhood. So he may be facing such fears in his dreams – although marriage is a meeting and often a merging with his feminine self. For a man it can also be intimating the uniting of his female characteristics. See hermaphrodite; archetype of the anima Marriage: When a woman and man marry, something that often happens is that the woman interiorises the man and feels she is now complete. She has her man in her life and in her. The man can do the same thing. That is fine when it works by them staying together faithfully. But if the man leaves the woman, or the woman leaves the man, because they had taken their partner into them to become whole, the leaving feels like something has been ripped out of them. It is a terrible shock. See Archetype of the Animus Wedding dress: Feelings and hopes about relationship and wedding; in a negative dream it represents anxieties about ones relationship or the future. Wedding dress given by mother: Qualities and strengths or problems absorbed from mother about relationship; letting go of external mother by expressing her qualities in the present. 

Example: I am at the wedding of my best friend. The groom doesn’t turn up and she decides to marry the first person who comes along. I wonder whether this is a good thing to do.’ Mary T. Example: When I was engaged to my present husband I dreamt we were married and I looked down at my wedding ring. It was twisted and bent. In fact I now see it as a warning because we have not made a good marriage.’ S.W. Example: I am a gay 20 year old woman. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about four months now. Previously, she had been my best friend for six years. Last night, I dreamt that we were married. I didn’t dream of a honeymoon, or announcing our marriage, or even proposing or anything of that nature. In the dream, I just…knew that we were married. My girlfriend’s hair was significantly longer than it normally is, if that means anything. In the dream, she insisted that she wanted to have a baby, and she wanted to do it by becoming pregnant through a sperm donor. It was a little strange, because neither of us are really keen on the idea of having kids at all, much less actually becoming pregnant. We were both excited about it in the dream though. Example: It was the realisation that in the little community I live in I am the only single male. I am feeling, or guessing, that the other males here are curious about that. This led me onto spontaneous speculations about what this meant in my life and whether it was a problem I was not looking at. I saw that some of the women in my life have wanted me to be more fully involved as their partner. I sometimes puzzle why I don’t have the same need, or I don’t feel the same need in reverse. As I explored this it felt as if I didn’t want to be contained within a woman’s needs. It reminds me of the proprietorial aspect of male female relationships.

See: Integrating the female in the male; Integrating the male in the female; bride; bridegroom.


-Constance Keighley 2016-04-12 4:10:21

I had a dream I was already married but for some reason we decided to get married again… in my dream I was ready to walk down the Isle and my husband was texting a girl saying he was going to be late I was sitting next to this gir on a couch l talking as if we were best friends. In the dream he sent this girl a picture of him naked in a tub. He finally showed up and as soon as we said the I do’s he lefte there and later on in the dream I had an affair with an old coworker … someone please help me figure out what this means… I firmly believe our dreams mean something but I’m really lost with this one. …

-lourdes 2016-03-18 22:34:24

I dreamed about a wedding iam the bride the groom is there but i didnt now who the guy is but he is a relative of a friend of mine in reality.In my dream iam happy my family is there and i heared love song with a lyrics” the rainbow will end in the palm of your hand don’t ever let it go when the stars won’t shine anymore i’ll be there.”

-Alison 2016-03-07 10:28:05

I just had a profound dream that went on for quite a while. I have tried to look up the meaning as well as thinking up my own meaning but am a bit lost! I feel it has made a large impact on me this morning.
To let you know before the dream that I am female and single.

The dream –
I was getting married to an unknown man. Everyone was happy apart from me. It was like I wanted to get married and didn’t care who it was. When the wedding reception was on, it was a disco. Flashing lights, everyone dancing. I slipped outside and said to my mum: “I’ve made a massive mistake, I don’t want to get married, I don’t know this man.” She was annoyed at me. And said it’s too late now.

Then I ran away to London. (In my waking life I want to move to London). I noticed as I ran from the party, opposite was the church. I was running all night trying to get away from the marriage.

I finally got to London and met my counsellor (in real life, who is also a friend). I asked her if I could stay at her house for a few days. She said yes but I could feel a little resentment.

I remember I was putting on makeup, wiping it off then reapplying it. Then walked into the bedroom and my friend introduced me to her other friend who heals with crystals. She held up a green crystal, which had no impact.. I believed it was for the heart chakra. She held up the yellow crystal and my throat closed up and I started to cry. It was as if I could not speak in that moment and it was completely blocked. Then the clear quartz crystal appeared and my whole body started to cry. I was a melted mess on the floor crying my eyes out. But I felt such a release. Something I needed to do in the dream.

Any ideas as to what this means? I’d be so grateful if someone could point me in the right direction. I feel like I need to be aware of the meaning behind it. Thank you for your time!

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-03-11 10:31:48

    Dear Alison – What I see in your dream is that you meet your inner counsellor and your inner friend who helps you becoming aware how you can help yourself; “Then the clear quartz crystal appeared and my whole body started to cry. I was a melted mess on the floor crying my eyes out. But I felt such a release.”
    See and
    You wrote that this was “Something I needed to do in the dream”, which expresses that you are aware what it is that you needed to do to be able to release your pain.
    It is a wonderful statement that acknowledges that the help – the inner resources – that point you in the right direction are inside you.
    See also
    It may be helpful to explore why you prefer to see someone who could point you in the right direction as coming from outside yourself; I’d be so grateful if someone could point me in the right direction.”
    Anna 🙂

-Rhonda 2016-02-06 22:46:13

I had a dream that I was going to a wedding and I was taking the whole day to get ready. I was doing other things before wanting to get ready. It was late and I was still not ready. I told my sister who going to get married? She replied you and Michael. I don’t recall anyone named Michael. I never saw myself getting married. My dream jumped from me getting married to already marrying that person. Please help me understand my dream. Thank you

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-02-08 13:05:59

    Dear Ronda – You do not mention what “other things” you are doing before you wanting to get ready;
    It will be helpful to understand that a dream is something that comes from a deep part of you; it is something that is working upwards toward being conscious. As such it often, like a seed, takes time to break through to the surface, and then it has to grow. This explains why dreams are not recognised for their FULL meaning until later; sometimes months or even longer. The dream images are attempts to communicate something that has probably never been thought about or even been consciously thought about, so has never been put into common conscious thinking before. It is a communication from the depths, from beyond thought, and so any interpretations that are given by thinking may completely miss the point.
    But the source of the dream, which is a process of Life, is intelligent in its own way, and will take part in any attempt to communicate. So exploring your dreams by entering into their imagery and attempting to understand them will be a two way process.
    And so the way to get some form of understanding is not by thinking about it, but by using an approach like and/or
    After you have explored your dream as far as possible – and so AFTER you have given it the best you have at that moment in time – you can ask your unconscious mind for “more” and trust that other dreams will arise that will help you to become more aware.
    See also;topicseen#msg9908
    Your dream starts with “doing other things” which might be about developing other qualities first, before you feel you are ready to make a commitment to this inner stranger.
    This stranger “Michael” may be referring to an unrecognised part of yourself; in a way this might even be a new growing part of you that you haven’t met before.
    At a certain point of this inner proces, a part of you – your inner sister – helps you to become aware what this is about; it is about YOUR marriage with a still unknown part of you.
    A way to explore “Michael” is to use “Being the person or thing”.
    See also
    Anna 🙂

-Alejandra 2016-01-31 7:40:17

I had a dream I was getting ready for my wedding I was speaking to the day who was doing my hair and makeup and explaining to her that I had no idea who I was about to marry , she pointed out that she had seen Asian people at the church sitting waiting well I guess for me to walk down the isle , I am Mexican American I have never really interacted with any Asians before to be honest. And I was just repeating to the hairdresser that I didn’t want to do this , I didn’t want to walk down the isle and no be happy and smiling to my groom. I started walking down the isle and only got to see the man from behind and I never reached him. Just wondering what all this meant.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-02-01 15:11:26

    Dear Alejandra – A “foreigner” usually shows you an aspect of your personality or skills that you were previously unaware of. Perhaps it was repressed or hidden and so now feels foreign or new. It is usually good to unfold the possibilities of this previously unknown part of you.
    Uniting – marrying – this “foreign” aspect means that you are willing to make a commitment to this part of yourself and with that create new ways of approaching life in the broadest sense possible.
    Because you have decided in your dream that “you do not want to do this” you do not reach “him”.
    The good thing is that you can always choose again – you can change your mind – and perhaps now you feel like exploring what associations you have with “Asian people”?
    See also and and
    Anna 🙂

-Rhonda 2016-01-25 18:23:35

I had a dream that I was going to a wedding and I was taking the whole day to get ready. I was doing other things before wanting to get ready. It was late and I was still not ready. I told my sister who going to get married? She replied you and Michael. I don’t recall anyone named Michael. I never saw myself getting married. My dream jumped from me getting married to already marrying that person. Please help me understand my dream. Thank you

-Ann 2015-12-14 22:54:46

I forgot to mention that I am a nurse and in a month’s time I will be resigning due to family issues(because my husband and I want to have a baby) and at this time my husband is away from home due to work. We have a small bakery business that has been going on for years and I’m still on the fence if I should pursue it and make it big after I resign.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-12-19 16:11:54

    Dear Ann – Thank you for writing out your dreams so well and for sharing what is going on in your (inner) world. That is helpful too.
    I can share with you what I see in your dreams, but because they are your creation, I hope you will explore them yourself too;
    The feelings that flow through us or we are immersed in are the process of life in our body, connecting with emotions, sexuality and changes of mood, we know this river as the flow and events of our life or destiny. We are constantly a river of energy which is expressed in everything we do. Because it is Life that flows through us it is creative in its action.
    In your first dream you become aware that you are afraid “to go with the flow” – to let go of control – and see where the river will take you.
    Your dream does suggest that the flow is not as deep and as rapid as you thought it would be, perhaps because you got your paddles, which can be a symbol of your means or methods to manoeuvre in the area of emotions and/or life experience.
    Could it relate to how you have dealt with your life during and after high school? How you chose for a path – become a nurse – in which you felt you did not have to take any risks?
    The rain I see as a symbol of feelings and desires that are arising again and they probably have to do with a part of you that is longing for the challenge of creating a different kind of bakery business; you are surfing the waves of inspiration.
    The second dream also expresses how you find it difficult to make up your mind and the different feelings that are part of that process.
    You are a runaway bride, because in this dream you are exploring what it will feel like if you do not pursue with your “bakery project”.
    As you can read in this article on marriage and wedding;
    “Sometimes it refers to what our energy or drive is uniting us with – such as a new business venture or creative scheme – any children of this type of marriage suggest our intuitive assessment of the likely outcome.”
    Your dream suggests that you are a very creative, bright person with lots of positive feelings, ideas, potential and energy.
    Yet you do not make the step towards uniting this part of you with an inner attitude – an inner male – that is willing to join you and support your creativity and ideas.
    At the end of your dream you once again return to an attitude that was probably part of you when you were in high school and it is an attitude you perceive as supportive.
    She is a symbol of an inner voice that tells you to be careful (and so to not take risks.)
    We all have different parts/voices that give us different “messages”;
    Clothes can depict the stance or attitudes we use to meet other people or special situations such as work or danger; protection, such as might be given by our feelings of reserve, shyness, anxiety or aggressiveness in fending off sexual or other advances. They can also indicate a period or phase of one’s life when you wore those clothes, and so associate with the activities, problems, or things you were experiencing at that time. But also the triumphs and realisations you have achieved. See
    So what do you associate with a t-shirt with prints of the flags of the world?
    Anna 🙂

-Ann 2015-12-14 22:45:16

Hi! I’ve been having vivid dreams lately. One of my dreams that happened the other day I was with some high school friends and we were in some sort of river rapids – we were on top of some raft and when we were about to go into the stream I kept screaming about where the paddles are because it’s not safe without one. Someone did gave us a pair for our raft, only to find out that the stream wa shallow enough to walk, but our group in the raft did not walk we just let the raft glide downward smoothly to a house. When we went into the house, it started raining, and when I got to the second floor to attend to some meeting, I heard a roaring noise of water like it was close by but when I looked outside the window I saw someone surfing in the lake, which was colored blue green like the ocean, and clear.
And then last night I’ve dreamt of being a runaway bride, being married myself it does not make sense, and I was bringing along a bag full of crayons, mostly with yellow colors. As we were waiting for some guests to arrive, I went to the side of the church and I noticed that the sun is brightly shining, and the church was near the sea (the sea was at the back of church). I went to the back and saw some houses flooded with clear water, and I was wondering why its still flooded despite the strong sun. I went back near the side of the church again. My husband, who was also in the dream, and I conspired to runway as it was weird I was being married to another person, not with my real husband. I ran to find a dressing room, to a place/house I’ve been dreaming for the past years, only to find out it was changed to something else. I found myself changing from the bride dress to regular street clothes in some makeshift room. I thought I was being careful, but someone did recognize me(a high school friend) but she did not get mad at me, she was still supportive and told me to be careful and she inspected my shirt which only then I’ve noticed was a tshirt with prints of the flags of the world. Then the dream ended.

-Kathy 2015-11-09 0:26:19

A few nights ago, I dreamed my sister was getting married. I was in the wedding party as well as responsible for other aspects of the celebration. In the dream, I couldn’t find my dress or other items I needed. The ceremony started with me not with the other bridesmaids.

Last night, I dreamed I was getting married and, once again, I couldn’t find my dress or the other items I needed. Also, instead of getting married to my real husband of 31 years, I was marrying an old co-worker that I haven’t seen in about 25 years, and who is about 10 years younger than me.

Weird that I would have two similar dreams about getting married. What do they mean?

-Bianca 2015-10-30 19:00:57

My dream was that a colleague of mine and I were marrying our partners on the same day, at the same place a few hours apart. We were getting ready & it was nearly time for my ceremony when suddenly I decided to postpone it until I had more time to get ready?!
Although we talk about getting married often, we aren’t engaged or planning to be anytime soon. Please help me understand, thank you 🙂

-Jane 2015-10-14 19:21:46

I had a dream of meeting & marrying this very good looking man I met in my dreams. We were so happy & i felt that he loves me very much.
Then something went array in our engagement party (or wedding party), & he burned the whole event down. I escaped cause I was terrified of him & he went looking for me. As i was hiding, I saw him & contemplated coming back to him because I do love him. Ever since that dream, I’ve been wondering who was that man in my dreams. I felt bothered by my dream. I felt that I had to find this guy. I really dont know what it all means…

-Anna 2015-10-07 5:03:36

Hi ,
In my dream, it was my wedding day. There were no preperations ,no wedding dress , i just knew that today i am going to get married. My home had water all over and we were swimming in it. I saw my father and my brother in the dreamand they were also swimming. I did not know who the bridegroom was and i did not even see him. The water was divided in which we were swimming and i kept changing my sides in the water. Pls tell me what this means ?

-Stephanie 2015-10-05 21:37:55

I had a dream that I was at an engagement party my parents were throwing for me, for I was set to marry a man I did not know. The entire time leading up to the wedding I kept searching for the boy I actually had feelings for to have him help me decide what to do of whether to stop the wedding or not. What could this mean?

-Jaz 2015-09-12 15:54:37

I had a dream I was about to marry a complete stranger that I’ve never met. some friends were there helping me get ready my hair was long and color full.. Some old friends were showing up but one friend I dated him way back in 7th grade shows up I hugged him for a long time and told him “or forever hold your peace” then I went back in to find my dress but when I found it and laid it out it looked to small.. And that was the end.

    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-09-23 18:33:02

    Dear Jaz – What I see in your dream is that you are exploring the idea of making a commitment to your male self; a part which you are not willing yet to give the recognition it needs from you. Perhaps you do not feel comfortable utilizing this side of yourself yet?
    Psychologically, we may only express part of our potential in everyday life. In a woman, the more physically dynamic, intellectual and socially challenging side of herself such as assertiveness and taking charge of situations may be given less expression.
    Your long and colourful hair could refer to thoughts that are expressed by a younger part; this can also be seen in you “going back in time” where your friend from the 7th grade shows up.
    At that moment you feel a lot of warmth for him – your inner male – and you can easily connect with him/it.
    “Or forever hold your peace” is like asking if there are still any inner obstacles left as far as (re) uniting with this part of yourself is concerned.
    Are there?
    I believe that your dream suggests that it was enough to remember what it feels like to hug this friend; a hug is like an expression of enormous recognition of this side of you.
    If you feel you still need it, you could use the approach of “Being the friend” –
    See also
    A wedding dress that looks too small could reflect that now you are ready to move on from whatever was constricting you; you have outgrown the belief that you have to feel uncomfortable with your inner male.
    It might be useful to also explore this dream for yourself
    Anna 🙂

-Tamzin 2015-04-05 14:58:25

Hi everyone please help, I am getting married in August this year and I keep having the same dream I am getting ready for the wedding with my family and it gets to me leaving my room and going to the venue when I realise I don’t have my dress with me!!when I do have the dream I’m not always in the same place but it’s always the same issue with the dress and it’s too late for me to go and get it :/. Don’t know if I’m overthinking things as I’m quite stressed about the organising of the wedding recently or if there is a deeper meaning to this ?thank you x

    -Anna 2015-04-05 17:15:09

    Tamzin – A wedding dress in a dream is a symbol of “Feelings and hopes about relationship and wedding; in a negative dream it represents anxieties about one’s relationship or the future”.
    Perhaps it will help if you perceive organising such a big event as “a free workshop in learning things about yourself”?
    In general dreams recur because there are ways the dreamer habitually responds to their internal or external world. Because their attitude or response is unchanging, the dream that reflects it remains the same. It is noticeable in those who explore their dreams using such techniques as described under processing dreams, that recurring themes disappear or change because the attitudes or habitual anxieties that gave rise to them have been met or transformed.
    I see forgetting your wedding dress as a symbol of fear of failure and/or fear of letting go of control.
    Being out of control can open us to a great deal of fear, or even terror. Yet being able to let go of control is also tremendously important. Many of the things we meet in life we are unable to control – even our own heartbeat and life processes. But many external things such as a relationship, sex, opportunity, losses, accidents and other people’s decisions confront us with areas that we cannot control.
    So how about “Welcoming the Worst”?
    Each time fears are embraced, it makes them easier to cope with the next time they strike, until in the end they are no longer a problem. So imagine yourself back in this dream and imagine the worst thing that can happen: “you forget your wedding dress and it’s too late for you to go and get it”. The fear will run away the more you chase it.
    Another helpful approach can be
    Good Luck!
    Anna 🙂

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