Dreams about Dead People
Click below on the links to find what you are seeking
Dreams about People We Know who have Died
Dreams about a Dead Person
How can We Talk to the Dead and They can Talk With Us?
Dreams about a Dead Husband or Wife
Dreams about a Dead Mother
Dreams about a Dead Child
Summary of after death experience
What Happens When Our Body Dies?
Coming back to earth
The Journey Through Death and Back
Journeying Beyond Dreams and Death
Dreams about People We Know who have Died
Dreams in which dead people appear are sometimes expressive of our attempts to deal with our feelings, guilt or anger in connection with the person who died; or our own feelings about death. When someone close to us dies we go through a period of change from relating to them as an external reality, to meeting and accepting them as alive in our memories and inner life.
It is wise to understand something before you read what else has been said. For instance, a single cell, which is a seed from which all life forms evolved from, doesn’t become old or die because it is immortal, for it keeps dividing and doesn’t die. In dividing it constantly creates copies of itself, but as it does so it gathers new experience, it changes what is copied, so becomes the ‘seed’ for multi-cellular organism. We all started from the original one cell, and we, you and I, are the result of gathered experience.
As adults we believe we are complete and whole. A seed is a return to the source of life and it/our beginnings under the sun. Consciousness on our planet started in the slime of creation, the slime we return to, to procreate. And from that slime which is a vehicle for our seed to exist in, our awareness goes through the whole process of evolution as we develop in mother’s womb, the dividing of cells, the forming of structure and organs, the creation of a creature with gills, and on to a human type form ready to breathe air, carrying your seed onwards.
As one textbook states, “A human is not constructed like a modern office building, as cheaply and efficiently as possible. . . but rather like an ancient historic edifice to which wings and sections were added at different times and which was not modernised until it was almost completed.” See Levels of the Brain
In doing so it uses many of the things that Life or Nature learnt from past life-forms that it uses in dealing with human life. As an example plants use very clever system with bulbs and other root systems. A bulb can grow a new flower each year and each flower is a totally new and unique thing. The the flower dies and its essense or experience is drawn back into the bulb, and next season another unique flower emerges. This hold true for humans too.
Our present personality has never existed before. It lives with a new brain that doesn’t carry old memories. Searching within its own experience and memories it could never find memory of any past lives because our present brain has no connection with the past seeds, yet our seed is the collection of man, many lives lived. Tendencies, unaccountable fears or talents, give the clue to these past selves. See Mushrooms
These past lives are not remembered easily because the new soul that developed in the new body had no past connections because it has a new brain. The soul or personality is built from the local memories stored in the new brain. So, memories of the past can only be attained by a deep awareness of our core awareness.
So, dead people can simply be people from our past. Considering that the major part of our learning and experience occur in relationship to other people, such learning and experience can be represented by characters from the past. For instance a first boyfriend in a dream would depict all the emotions and struggles we met in that relationship, and what we learned from it or took away from it that still influences present relationships. Therefore dreaming often of people we knew in the past would suggest that past experiences or lessons are very active at the moment, or we are reviewing those areas of our life. A woman who had emigrated to Britain from a very different cultural background frequently dreamt, even twenty years afterwards, of people she knew in her native country. This shows her still very much in contact with her own cultural values and experiences.
Example: ‘My husband’s mother, no longer alive, came and slid her arms carefully under me and lifted me up. I shouted ‘Put me down! Put me down! I don’t want to go yet.’ She carefully lowered me onto the bed and disappeared.’ E. H. – In this example the dreamer is feeling fear about being carried off by death.
Example: ‘A dark grey sugar loaf form materialised. This pillar lightened in shade as I watched. It didn’t move. I began to think it was Mrs. Molten who died in 1956. The feeling grew stronger but still the colour lightened. Then it bent over and kissed my head. In that instant I knew it WAS my mother. An ecstatic joy and happiness such as I have never known on earth suffused me. That happiness remained constantly in mind for the next few days.’ Mr M.
Here the dreamer has not only come to terms with his mother’s and his own death, but also found this inner reality.
Example: ‘A couple of months ago as I was waking I felt my husband’s arm across me and most realistically experienced my hand wrapping around his arm and turning toward him which I had done so often in his lifetime and saying ‘I thought you had died. Thank God you have not.’ Then I awoke alone and terribly shaken.’ Mrs I. – The example both shows the resolution of the loss, but also the paradox felt at realising the meeting was an inner reality.
A critic might say this is only a dream in which a lonely woman is replaying memories of her dead husband’s presence for her own comfort. Thus her disappointment on being disillusioned. Whatever our opinion, the women has within her such memories to replay. These are a reality. The inner reality is of what experience was left within her from the relationship. Her challenge is whether she can meet this treasure with its share of pain, and draw out of it the essence which enriches her own being. That is the spiritual life of her husband. The ‘aliveness’ of her husband in that sense is also social, because many other people share memories of the same person. What arises into their own lives from such memories, is the observable influence of the now dead person. But the dead also touch us more mysteriously, as in the next example. See: Dead Husband or Ex
Example: In a recent news program on television, a man who survived the Japanese prisoner of war camp in Singapore had been given a photograph of children by a dying soldier he did not know. The man had asked him to tell his family of his death, but did not give his name. The photograph was kept for forty odd years, the man still wanting to complete his promise but not know how. One night he dreamt he was told the man’s name. Enquiries soon found the family of the man, who had an identical photograph.
Dreams about a Dead Person – General Meaning:
This can represent some area of your life that has ‘died’. It can refer to death of feelings, such as hopelessness in connection with relationship and the loss of feelings about someone; the depression that follows big changes in your life such as loss of a loved partner, job, or child. It can also reflect the sense you have of your life in general, that it is without the stimulus of motivation and satisfaction, as when one feels oneself in a ‘going nowhere’ relationship or life situation. The dead person in the dream may link several of these feelings together, as symbols often represent huge areas of our experience. So the dead person my be a part of oneself you want to leave behind, to die out.
Some dreams are so clearly about the person who died. Here is an example of such a dream by a young child.
With his brothers and friends he went to bathe in a mill pool. He was only four or five at the time, and could not swim. In the recklessness of their-play, one of the children pushed him into deeper water. At that moment, the mill gates opened and water rushed through carrying him along. He was drowned – but some adults who were hastily called to the scene managed to pull him out and revive him.
As his father carried him home in his arms, the boy talked about his mother, who had died some years earlier and at first his father smiled at his story.
The boy said that as he went under the water he felt himself sinking down and down into darkness. Then there was a change and he felt himself rising up slowly until at last he rose to the surface.
He was in a huge sea. Around him, other people were also surfacing, and all were being gradually washed towards the nearby shore. There on the beach, people waited, and greeted those who were brought to them by the sea.
And as he himself drew near there on a small promontory were his grandparents waiting to welcome him – and in front – his mother, and she bent to draw him into her arms. She took hold of his hands and as she did so, a cross around her neck swung before his face. Sparkling in it were seven stones. But at that moment, something seemed to pull him away, and he sank into the sea and at last awoke on the riverbank.
The other half of the Story
At the conclusion of the story, his father’s condescending smile vanished. They were now at home and his father left the room, obviously deeply moved. Only years later did he tell his son the other half of the story.
The boy’s mother had died when her son was tiny and she had died on her birthday. For many weeks before, her husband had saved for a special present which he had kept secret. On her death, heart-broken, he had crept down to the coffin in the middle of the night, unscrewed the lid and given the present to his dead wife. It was a cross with seven stones, and the secret of it had been buried with her.
Putting together a picture of many such death experiences, we can begin to see a general view of what it might be like, what it certainly is for some, to die.
First of all comes a lessening and eventual disappearance of bodily sensations. Although all pain and physical awareness goes, most people are still conscious of their physical surroundings and of other people. In fact they often watch their own body breathe its last struggling breaths.
Usually people see themselves in a body, but it’s sometimes more perfect than the body they have just left. Their perceptions are nearly always enormously heightened in many ways. There seems to be no sensation of gravity or weight – the whole room or area can be seen instantaneously, as if with circular vision, and there is an awareness of the thoughts and emotions of those present.
See Talking with those who have passed on
Dreams about a Dead Husband or Wife:
Many dreams of dead people come from women who have lost their husband. It is common to have disturbing dreams for some period afterwards; or not be able to dream about the husband or wife at all; or to see the partner in the distance but not get near. In accepting the death, meeting any feelings of loss, grief, anger and continuing love, the meeting become easier.
But as with the example above, there are many cases where people meet their dead in dreams and have tremendous assurance.
Dreams about a Dead Mother:
As with other ‘dead person’ dreams they usually show how we are working out or unfolding our relationship with them. They can be wonderfully confirming of continued existence.
Example: ‘A dark grey sugar loaf form materialised. This pillar lightened in shade as I watched. It didn’t move. I began to think it was Mrs. Molten who died in 1956. The feeling grew stronger but still the colour lightened. Then it bent over and kissed my head. In that instant I knew it WAS my mother. An ecstatic joy and happiness such as I have never known on earth suffused me. That happiness remained constantly in mind for the next few days.’ Mr. M.
Dreams about a Dead Child:
When our child dies it is one of the most heartbreaking experiences we can meet. Sometimes it takes years to adjust to what has happened. Not only is the adjustment emotional and psychological, but also your way of life is often built around the person you have lost. Therefore the changes we meet can be enormous. However, we each have enormous resources of healing and ability to meet the new if we can access them. Very often there are experiences we have, or dreams, that continue our relationship with the child. Unfortunately we live in a culture that often denies the possibility of this.
The example below shows how this can be possible.
For instance, Dr. Morse, in his book Closer to the Light, tells of a mother who came to him because she hadn’t slept properly for 1041 nights after the death of her son. She showed him a picture of her son, but Dr Morse was suddenly called away to a ward emergency. Having dealt with the sick baby, he was writing up the notes and a nurse who had been helping said to him, ‘Who was that person who came in with you? Is he a student?’
Morse did not understand what the nurse was talking about as nobody had come into the hospital with him. As he was trying to find a pen for the notes he was writing he pulled out the photograph of the woman’s son. Immediately the nurse said, ‘That’s him. He kept trying to get your attention’.
When he returned to his office Morse asked the mother if she had ever been contacted by her son after his death. She said, ‘Oh yes. After he died, for several nights he would stand at the foot of my bed and tell me he was alright, and that I should stop crying. But that was only a crazy dream.’ However, such things are not crazy dreams, but insights into a greater reality.
After her conversation with Dr. Morse the woman slept properly for the fist time in nearly three years.
Summary of after death experience
Because after death we are still in a dream like existence, we tend to create around us those things we expect to see or experience. So someone who has no previous information about death may wander around for awhile confused. A Christian may see Christ welcoming them, so the beginnings are very varied, and a Buddhist might meet Buddha, or a Muslim might see Muhammad. But there is some sort of life review. This is about harvesting all of value from the life experience. Not only do we gathered the lessons we learned from our life, but we also relive it moment by moment, feeling and reviewing our own feelings, but also the feelings we engendered in others. But because we are no longer living a life in three dimensions and time, it will be an all at once experience, not stretched over time.
This can be quite a trial considering the life we have lived. But it is not a judgement from outside us, but a self judgement of the quality of our life. We need to pass through this because after death we have left the physical world and moving toward the spiritual. We can see this as the Big Self; the Self with Enormous Love. But there is an enormous transition taking place at death. We lived within a body, and now without it we have to be ready for life without it in what is called the spirit world. That is why the life review is necessary. All our earthly experience has to be put through a transformation to make it fit for a wider life. The wider life works through universal connections, and the less we personally can connect with the universal the less fit we are for the universal life.
Something that I have noticed is that some people believe, and therefore experience, that ‘heaven’ is exactly like life on earth except better. They see it as having houses and living much the same way. But that is not really the whole truth, because just as our body grows and changes, so do we in the after death state.
It seems as if there is a great difference between existing in a body and surviving in the grand world of the spirit. For in the spirit world there has to be found something that will link the life with giving and receiving from others, and of course the integration with a greater purpose.
Many people say they go along a tunnel toward a great light, and then a great spirit leads them through life review. Others go through a door to the light, and others go up a flight of grand stairs.
Having lost their body and its appetites there may be a period of adaptation to a life in a world without boundaries. Also because the spirit world is similar to the world of dreams, you create around you an environment made up of your own inner state. So if you are full of hate, murderous impulses and selfishness, you create a world like that is usually called hell. We are not ‘cast into hell’ we create it ourselves.
The same with heaven, it is created out of all the attitudes and ideas and feelings that are in harmony with the way the universe works or is. As a friend told me after his death, “I cannot escape myself. This is because everywhere I look is like a mirror. Every direction I find a reflection of me. It is three-dimensional. It doesn’t matter if I look up or down, left or right, all I see are expressions of who I am.”
At first one will look much as you did at death, except if you are old or ill, then you have quickly gained a more youthful and healthy appearance. But of course that is only your physical shape, and you will create that because that is who you think you are. But a great and probably slow swing over will occur. Because your body is gone, and you are moving toward the spiritual being that has always stood behind your life and witnessed it and given it impulses to try to live out, so gradually you may lose any sense of being male or female.
It is possible some people will not make it that far, but will go into a sleep state until their next life in the body. But if they can maintain consciousness as they meet these changes they will slowly become a greater being, and have an awareness that could be seen as super human, touching all around them. This is why some dead relatives come back to us in dreams and visions and tell us things they would never have normally been capable of knowing.
Another conversation with a dead friend stated some of this:
I seems to me that things are different for me now. I feel something that is difficult to understand. I seem to be getting less and less of the me I knew; yet at the same time more of who I am. More of me is being lost, but at the same time more of me is being gained. A strange paradox.
Then there is the going beyond even more barriers toward what can be called real spiritual awareness.
In the next region, one sees how the person’s life has accorded not only with their own Self, but with the ‘true being of the world’. We see ourselves as we exist, in or out of harmony with that world consciousness, that essence of all beings, sometimes called God or the Christ, or Krishna, or Buddha. Here is the judging, the self judging, of the ‘quick and the dead.’
And finally, in this withdrawal, the seventh region is reached, ‘quick or dead’, asleep or awake to the highest in us. ‘The man stands here’ says Steiner, ‘in the presence of the “Life-kernels”, which have been transplanted from higher worlds, in order that in them they may fulfil their tasks.’ These ‘tasks’, expressing through the self, mediated by the soul, and materialised by the body, usually motivate us unconsciously. In this region, if consciousness remains, we know ourselves as the whole cosmos of sun, moon, planets, and stars; as all beings, creatures and kingdoms. When we look at these through our physical eyes, we are looking at our own wholeness. The ‘Life kernel’ is the doorway to other ‘cosmic beings’. ‘The life between death and a new birth, and is really a living through the world of stars: but this means, through the spirit of the world of stars,’ not the physical stars. See What Happens When I Die?
Coming back to earth
Having made this ascent to the innermost of our nature, the essence of the whole cosmos, there now comes for most of us, a return to a fresh physical experience.
There awakens a ‘desire’ or direction, to perfect one’s own being and that of the earth. ‘Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven,’ is an impulse from this region. Depending upon what fruits were brought to each region, this descent enables certain things, qualities or strengths to be ‘claimed’ from each level of our being. A new spiritual ‘seed’ or ‘germ’ is fashioned which will play its part in fashioning our body. The essence of the future personality chooses the hereditary line and its parents. Steiner says the parents provide a seed bed of physical substance, impregnated with their own characteristics of body and psyche. At conception, the material substance is broken down into the germinal level of chaos, in which all physical form is dissolved. The spirit ‘germ’ of the new being takes hold of this.
At birth the ‘germ’ of the future personality and body, is clothed with physical substance drawn from the parents, along with inherited temperamental qualities. Working with these as materials is the essence of the past life and death experience. This spiritual impulse, takes the ‘model’ given by the parents, and works into it the pattern it brings from its central experience. So there comes into being, through life and death, another life upon the earth.
Just as there was a reliving of life at death, so just prior to birth there is a reliving of death. ‘He sees a tableau which this time displays all the hindrances he must remove, if his evolution is to make further progress. And what he sees becomes the starting point of forces that he must carry with him into a new life. See Life and Death; Steiner Life after death
Another conversation with a dead friend provided the following information.
I am in process of creating a new life. But this is something like a work of art, not however, as we think of it with brush and paint. I felt it like a constant rise and fall of possibilities and forms that I, the Spirit I, was giving birth to. As one rose it expressed a certain quality, and this was in some way compared, or its harmonic compared, with all that existed in the changing spiritual and physical world. There was as yet no total interface between what was being created in this way, and what was expressed by the changing worlds. So I was gradually sifting the emphasis of all it contained from life experience and its possible future connections with physical life, moving toward a harmonic unity. It was explained to me that the unity would be a real connection with time, place, parents and the life that would emerge from them. When that harmonic unity was made the new life would begin.
Useful Questions and Hints:
Have I dreamt of any dead person?
How did I react to the dream?
Can I accept that we have an inner world?
See Inner World – Techniques for Exploring your Dreams – Questions
Comments
I am very curious about this dream I just had. My best friend and first boyfriend appeared in a dream that was so odd yet so real. He killed himself several years ago. In this dream, I was living at home with my parents again after having moved back from my grandparents who also passed a year ago. In reality I live with my partner of 11 years.
I was very activly trying to help my parents clean the house as there was so much stuff everywhere. Aaron for some reason would come by the house daily to do something and just leave. I am not clear on the task he was there to do. On this occasion I guess I caught he was there and started to ask him to stay but got mad that I even had to ask and stormed off to my room. He then came in and sat on the couch, but I was being stubborn and didn’t want to talk to him because I was mad. I at some point during this was at work explaing to two coworkers one of which I know and work with for real and one being a new hire I was training that Aaron had believed to be dead twice and he came back to us. Once we all thought he was dead and he showed up 2 years later and the second time in war and then it was discovered he was actually alive. He was in real life never in the service. Then cutting back to my parents house I came out of my room which was filled with so much clutter and stuff cause I thought he might of left but he hadn’t. I could hear the shower in the bathroom going and gathered my dad was in the shower and my mom was straightening up in there talking to him as he did so.
I saw he was there and then ran back to my room which for some reason was now clean and layed on my bed crying and this time he followed me back. I told him how I felt about him not spending any time with me anymore. He let me know that he was in a bad relationship with someone and did not want to get me ivolved in the drama surrounding that. He was actually in a bad relationship in real life and just moved off without really any warning.
But in the dream he told me not to worry that we would be able to hang out more soon when we got our place together and he layed on top of me and wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of the best hugs I have ever felt and then I woke up. What do you think of this dream?
Tim – This is a theme I come across so often – a past love that suddenly disappeared from your life and you are still trying to figure out your feelings. And I believe that is the mess in the room that magically was no longer then when he followed you back.
It seems from the dream as if you want to carry on the relationship – as you can do in dreams and in death. But you need to sort out the mess in your emotions that are getting in the way of that. Though if you can keep the feeling of being hugged and not lose it in the mess it could happen.
Tony
Hopefully, you’ll be able to give me some insight into this dream. From 1985-2000, I ran a comic book store. One of the kids who frequented my store was Ernie S. I met him when he was 12, and for the next ten years, he was at my store quite frequently. I saw him grow up from junior high to high school and beyond. Throughout that time, we had an amiable friendship–I always thought very highly of him, and we got along extremely well. After high school graduation, he went to college. We corresponded via e-mail during that time, and I’d see him driving around town, and we’d exchange friendly waves. Then I heard that he’d entered the Marine Corps. I thought this odd, since Ernie never struck me as the military type. He’d always been chunky (not fat) all his life and had to lose a lot of weight to get into the Corps. Anyway, months passed, then I received a phone call from another young man who knew Ernie and who used to hang at my shop. The news shocked me. Ernie had died suddenly in boot camp from an undiagnosed heart ailment. He was 24 years old. I couldn’t believe it–how could such a thing happen? I felt so sorry for his parents and sisters. The funeral was held (I didn’t attend), and life went on.
One night, I had a dream. In it, I was sitting inside my car at a local shopping center. It was very sunny. I was watching several people (whom I didn’t know) milling about a van with an open side door. Suddenly, one of them turned and yelled, “hey, Ernie!” I looked over, and there was Ernie, walking toward them! I stuck my head out of the car window and called him over. He leapt over the cars (I know that sounds weird) and was now standing directly in front of my driver’s side door. His hands were in his pockets, he was wearing his typical outfit of polo shirt and white pants and had a white tee-shirt under the polo shirt. He was smiling at me and looked very happy–but also much thinner and a little older. I noticed laugh lines around his eyes. I asked him, “what’s going on?” And he just laughed. Then I said, “Ernie, I thought you’d died. I read it in the paper.” He laughed again and said, “it was a mistake, Rod. I was sick, but now I’m better.” All the while, he was smiling at me, and I felt such peace. I woke up, and my bedroom was full of sunshine. I went downstairs, prepared my breakfast and read the paper. On the obituaries page, I stopped, shocked. There, at the bottom, was a picture of Ernie. It was an “in memoriam” announcing that he’d died one year ago that day! What do you make of this? It’s 100% true! Was it merely my subconscious telling me that a year had gone by? Or was it my friend coming back to tell me he was “better” and happy?
Rod – What a wonderful story.
It seems to me it was or is all the things you thought of. Yes, it was a reminder and a message of hope.
The reason it doesn’t come out completely rational is that our dreams are arranged in images that we have collected, and it has to squeeze those into what is understandable. The feeling of peace is the real communication, and the sunlit room. That is how the dead communicate with us.
Tony
Reference to my last post,I meant to say I keep dreaming of my dad and nephew sorry
Hi I keep dreaming of my died that died 9 years ogo and just recent my nephew 22 years old who died this past Thansgiving(commited suicide). My nephew has come into my dreams like 6 times so far and it feels so real, he keeps telling me he is ok. I get so freaked out and scared yet it feels so real, I can really feel them and hear them clearly, why me? I am happy they feel confortable but it makes me feel like they are warning me of something, why me? Why do my dead family speak to me in my dreams, are they trying to tell me somethng? I am scared to even sleep sometimes and it is always in this weird big house, I live in a townhome. Lina Notte
Lina – Why you? Why not?
You write as if it is unnatural and scary to be able to speak with your dead. That is an attitude that developed in recent centuries and saw anything to do with death as awful and as if it was a prelude to death itself.
To communicate with those you love is natural, and is part of many peoples normal life. In fact such communication can be a great help and support. And of ocurse your dad and nephew want to keep in touch with you. Their message is – It is okay to die, so do not be afraid.
It only became frowned upon when the church put a ban on any communications with ‘spirits’. Yet in the New Testament it clearly says that when you open up to the spirit you can speak words of wisdom and encouragement that come from another source than ones conscious mind.
Tony
01-11-11
Dreams about my love ones who passed away
(my father, my uncle, my grandmother and grand
father)…
Im 9 mos. pregnant, waiting to give birth this month, want to share my dreams, for 3 consecutive days most dreams i experienced was my dad who passed away since 1995… the scenario is simple, were having a little talk,sharing stories in my dreams…
with my uncle,grandparents… I also had a dream just a simple and peace talk something klike that…
my question was: why is it i’ve always dreamed them? coz im pregnant and anytime i will give birth already does it mean they care ? they will get me?
Hoping for some answers THANKS…
Michelle – Of course they care, and the fact you are pregnant and ready to give birth makes you much more open to receive their contact. Also, I think, that they are there to receive a new being into the family. A big event for them, and I hope for you.
A birth is something impossible to describe its importance. I have experienced it several times that, “Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting: The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar: Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home.”
Tony
I had a crazy dream about the love of my life who passed away 14 months ago unexpectedly.
To prefice, we were together for 22 years and never married. I worked for him and lived with him so his passing was a major void in my life. I haven’t dreamt about him much and when I do it is never happy only about his death. Last night I dreamt that I was working at a funeral parlor and Jack was with me but dead. The funeral director would dress him every day and I would take him by the hand and a black limo would pull up and pick us up so I could take him to work (he was a doctor) . I recall having to hold him up sometimes (I guess because he was dead) and one time he said to me “I am forgetting how to say the alphabet” and I said “maybe you should stop seeing patients” and his retort was; “I’ll never forget my medicine”. I remember feeling happy I was with him but scared what was happening. My question is what is this dream saying about how I have dealt with the grief thus far?? I want to dream of the happy times we spent not this stuff.
Debra – As you say, it was a major void in your life when after he died. So much so that it was difficult for you to really see him as dead.
I feel this is the meaning of your dream – that you have never actually said goodbye to him as a physical presence. This is why the funeral parlor dream shows you with him even though he is dead. You still want to take him to work with you.
So you need to set it up so you can say goodbye to his physical presence. I mean for you with open heart say to him something like, “I have missed you so much that I haven’t let go of you, and wanted to keep you in this world. But it is not good to hold you back in that way, so I am willing to wave you goodbye on your journey, knowing that because of our love we will never be apart.”
I am standing with you as you do this, as I know how difficult it can be.
Tony
Dear Tony, I chanced to read this article after some thing strange happened today. Yesterday night I had a dream where my Dead grandmother walks in and my Uncle walks to pull a chair for her and kisses her. All her other sons are already seated in a circular fashion. My other uncle proceeds to talk something about his profession and that is as much as I can remember. The next day, I hear from my father that it was her fourth death anniversary that day, which I was not aware of.
Does this have any meaning?
Best Regards,
Vinoth
Dear Vinoth – To understand your dream you may need to realise that everything we see and touch in waking life is actually formless impressions. For instance when we look at something our eyes receive light vibrations that then are only a reflection of light. So for a start we cannot see what the thing looks like. Then the retina of the eye has to change the impressions the eye receives into nervous impulses. Then these are received by a part of the brain that then translates the impressions it receives into what you experience.
And that is very much like the way we receive a dream. The images we use in dreams are the nearest we can get from our store of outward impressions and images, and what we dream are from another level of experience. Then we have to try to understand what lies behind what you have dreamt.
So the nearest we can get is that the image of your grandmother walking in is about a contact you have with her, and it involves a family gathering. The fact that it was on the anniversary of her death and you didn’t know that, of course has meaning. At a level of our mind that is usually unconscious we know everything.
Tony
I had a dream about my son who was killed four years ago in a car accident. He was my only child so needless to say we were extremely close. I dreamt that I was walking around in a classroom and all of a sudden I saw him sitting at a desk and he began to get up. He turned around and completely faced me down. The dream was so clear I could see his eyes and skin like they were real. He had a very unhappy look on his face, and when I went up to kiss his face he dissappeared. I woke up in an instant and our television downstairs went on by itself again. This TV we purchased shortly after he died and turns itself off and on to a blue screen, not a picture….we don’t know why. Earlier that night I woke out of dream and heard him calling up the stairs like he used to do, “hey ma”. I woke up and realised I was dreaming. But I had this other realistic dream about 2 hours later. I swear it was really him it was so clear and real. I’ve only had one other clear dream in my life and that was when my mother(who died) came to me and hugged me–she stayed in the dream till I was okay with her leaving. My son has never returned in a dream. I was so upset by the dream because I could feel how upset he was. He didn’t act or look happy. It has haunted me since.
Madelynn – I feel a lot of warm feelings when I hear of someone losing a child.
I believe the clue to the meaning of your dream lies in what you wrote about your mother – “That was when my mother came to me and hugged me – she stayed in the dream till I was okay with her leaving.”
Something about the after death state is that it is that the person is very much influenced by the way we feel. So if you still want your son with you and missed him badly, this could anchor him so that he doesn’t move on. As your dream suggests, he is in a learning situation, and when he saw you he “faced me down.” His look of unhappiness and his reaction to you could all be explained by the effects of him being held by your wanting him.
If possible, if you can feel the wanting and turn it into love for his journey into the warmth and love of the afterlife, it might help. Also talk to him.
I know that may sound silly, but having experienced what it was like to be dead and not be able to communicate with my mother, I know that even if you cannot be aware of your son and what you say or think to him, he is certainly aware of your thoughts, what your feelings are, and what you say. He will also know you love him very much. But try not to make your love into something like a weight he has to carry. So speak to him and explain what you feel and how you love him.
Tony
Hi Tony
I wonder if you could help me. I just had a dream about my dad, he died in October this year. I dont think i was sleeping, i had paralysis. I could feel, hear and see everything. At first i didnt see him, but then i could sense him. In my head i called him and asked if that was him. Then i felt presure on my hand, like he was holding it. I started crying but no words could come out. I wanted to ask him so much but words just didnt want to come out. I tried with all my might to turn around to see but could only manage a little bit, out of the corner of my eye i could see just a slight shape of his head. He gave me a pen, why would he give me a pan? And then he leaned over and said into my ear, JUST SAY YES SIR IT`S TRUE. And then he leaned over and kissed my forehead. Then he left. And just like that i could move again. The strangest thing is that i have a fan on in the bedroom and it made a weird sound, like their is to much wind going into the fan. Does that make any sense? We are still unsure what was the cause of my dad`s death, if that might help.
Please if you could help me i would really appriciate that.
Kind Regards
Rene
Rene – The fact you were paralysed says you were in a special state in which you were awake and yet asleep and dreaming. This happens when you are dreaming and yet become awake enough to know what is going on. When you dream the muscles that cause you to move are paralysed. It is probably because our forebears lived in trees and any movement would cause an injury or death.
When you are dreaming and awake at the same time you are able to feel things you would probably been unable to experience in any other way. So this would explain your awareness of your dad. But what your dad’s message means I do not know, but it may become clear in the future as things unfold. Possible it has to do with his unknown cause of death.
Tony
I first experienced the loss of someone close when I was 14. He died suddenly & I was just crushed. I remember I was in the shower, listening to the radio & I remember thinking to myself … “Howard, if you’re here with me, the next song that’ll play is Country Girls & Boys gettin’ down on the farm” by Tim McGraw. That was the next one played. Almost creepy. Anyway, later — I had my first dream about someone passing. Its been over 17 years & I can still feel the sun on my face from that dream & I can still see him like I just turned away from him. We were at my Middle School & he came walking up the hall. I ran so hard & jumped up & hugged him. He just smiled at me. I can still see if like it just happened. He never spoke until we got outside. He took my hand & walked me to a bench. It was warm out. Breezy. So nice. I was asking him questions about heaven. What it was like, etc. He told me, “stop asking questions because I can’t answer them. If you ask again, I’ll have to go.” We had some small talk … then I asked about heaven again & he told me he was sorry, but had to go & that was it. I never dreamed of him again. Since, I’ve lost a few others (3 more) that have been close to me & each dream takes place in the same location — my middle school & I only dream of them once. That first dream though, it was so real.
Miranda – How strange that he would not talk to you about heaven. It isn’t that it is a big secret.
But there is something meaningful about the setting the dreams take place in, your middle school. So I wonder whether you need to move on to another level of learning.
I believe there is a very definite boundary for some people in their relationship with the dead. I know of two friends who went with their friend to the death experience, but were told they could not go any further – like a door was shut in their face. So maybe it is that. I can see that knowing too much would be disturbing for some. After all, most people who remember going into heaven and then are revived say it was so beautiful they didn’t want to come back.
Tony
On Christmas night, I dreamed of my son who died in a car wreck at age 17 in 1997 just before high school graduation. I’ve had a very difficult time since his death even after this amount of time. I was very close to him and I miss him terribly. I rarely have dreamed of him so it suprises me when I do but frustrates me as well as the dreams are vivid but so short and mostly he says nothing, I just see him. In this dream I was in a house I didn’t recognize, was told he was in the bedrrom. I saw myself first kneeling by a coffee table while sobbing. Then I went into the bedroom and he was lying on a bed on his side with some kind of white board at his back and a white bandage on one hand. He had on a pair of boxer shorts but they weren’t his, it was a pair that his younger brother wore after he grew up & was in high school. It seems like he had an IV. As I walked into the room, I heard him say it’s ok, don’t bother mama. As I got up to the bed, I saw his eyes weren’t open and I knew he was in pain. I took his hand and intended to sit down by him to comfort him, but before I said a word I realized I had to go to the bathroom badly. I was frustrated but got up & rushed out, intending to return to him as quick as I could. However, I woke up as I was rushing to go to the bathroom and so did not get to go back & talk to him. So frustrating.
I have had two dreams about my neighbor who committed suicide in the last year. the most recent one, he came to me, looking more at peace than before and asked me to please tell his parents sorry for what he did. I had already been crying at this point. and then I hugged him and asked him why he did it, and he said, i really don’t know, and then walked away. there was more to the dream than this, but this is as brief as i could make it.
Clara – This is such a clear dream showing communication with the dead. There are no strange extras, just clear communication.
I hope you have passed on to his parents what he asked. It often means a great deal.
It also shows how you have the ability to meet and talk with the dead in your dreams. And anybody who is sneering at the idea needs to do some research and catch up with scientific opinion in. Maybe read Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s book On Life After Death, and The Tao of Physics.
Tony
When I read this artical I began to cry….THIS IS THE TRUTH! I lost a very good friend. Two weeks before her death I told her loved her like I loved my Grandmother. When she died, I was crushed…..I had to get totally to my self to cry. I cried my eyes out….She came to me and told me to stop crying, she was happy and fine. I asked her” What does it feel like to be dead.” She said to me ” Don’t be afraid of death, it’s like a DREAM. Don’t worry about me…..I am happy.”
I have never worried about her again….and I don’t worry about dying either.
I have just lost another good friend two months ago. I had promised to go see her over the summer but never got the chance. Then for weeks it kept nagging ne I needed to call her, but never did….Then I learned of her death through other people. My heart ached….I was so guilty that I did not go see her when I told her I would…now I will never see her again in this life. I had a dream in which she came to me. I told her how could she be here she was dead…..She said to me, “No I’m not! I said “YES, you are.” She still wanted to argue with me…..soon she had me doubting what I knew to be so. As I woke up I REALLY DID FEEL she was still alive, and I felt I needed to call her…..but as I woke compleatly up….I knew I had already signed her online obtituary. I now realize she came to me to help me resolve my guilt.
Raven – Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I was particularly struck with what your friend said about death being like a dream. From all my exploration that is what it feels like – a clearer dream.
I want to continually improve the feature about death, so you remarks and dreams are important.
Tony
Hi, my cousin died nearly 6 years ago suddeny at only 16, we were more like sisters and I we did everything together. For the past 5 years on more than 10 occasions i have dreamt the same frequent dream that she is alive but that she gives me a different explanation for where she was for so many years, last night i dreamt that she was back with me and when i asked where she had been she said she forgot to call me, and i was so happy to hear from her and we were planning all the stuff we were going to do, another time i dreamt she told me she was on holidays and i was giving out to her for losing contact with me, but then after that we just talked and went cinema, all my other dreams about her are like this where she has an excuse for being absent and i forgive her and we carry on, then when i wake up i get awful upset because I think shes alive and back with me, when shes not really, just wondering what all this means!
Sheena – I must have overlooked you, despite my careful system.
I feel that your dreams show something like confusion about what is a contact with your cousin and your own psychological needs. For instance you must have felt you lost something and someone of importance to you. So your cousin could be symbolising is that you have lost or feel somewhat out of touch with an important part of yourself. What exactly that is you could only find out from identifying with her as she appears in your dreams.
So I suggest you try ‘being’ her as the dream figure and seeing what you discover in your feelings and memories. See: http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/peer-dream-group/#4explorecharacter
This needs a bit of playful attitude to start with, but can be extremely helpful.
Tony
Dreamt of my dad’s dad, who passed in 1985. I was walking in his empty dining room and felt the wooden floors tilt, I turn back n my uncle n bro say we have to keep the house balanced by each walking into a different spot to keep it leveled. I hear a yell coming down the hallway n I get scared and walk away from it, then out he comes, my dad’s dad. At this point the house is now stable, he walks toward me and tries to kiss my hand, but I reject him and ask, why he faked his death. How could he do that to my dad and the rest of his children?He wears a blue polo n looks older and chubbier then how I remember him. I felt a bit scared of him. (Perhaps because after his death I found out the man I looked up to was a bit of a monster).
I then walk into the living room n he is gone, but then appears a supposed son that had been living with him in the basement all this time. I felt angry at my mysterious new uncle, but started to think it was not his fault he had been hidden all these years and that perhaps he was a victim after all. I felt bad for him as he smiled at me. What does this dream mean?
May – This isn’t an easy dream to understand, but I think I ave something that makes sense.
I think that the feelings about your dad’s dad have blocked something that has been kept in the basement. In other words a difficult feeling can act as a block to you allowing yourself to express or dare to feel some emotions. These have been kept in your unconscious and are now expressing more easily. What this part of you that has been banished to the basement for so long I am not sure, but probably has to do with relating to males.
Tony