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Husband

It can depict how you see the relationship with your husband; your relationship with your sexuality; sexual and emotional desire and pleasure; how you relate to intimacy in body, mind and spirit. Or it can be habits of relationship developed with one’s father.

Example: ‘My recurring dream – some disaster is happening. I try to contact the police or my husband. Can never contact either. I try ringing 999 again and again and can feel terror, and sometimes dreadful anger or complete panic. I cry, I scream and shout and never get through! Recently I have stopped trying to contact my husband. I managed once to reach him but he said he was too busy and I would have to deal with it myself. I woke in a furious temper with him and kicked him while he was still asleep.’ Mrs G. S.

The husband here depicts Mrs S’s feelings of not being able to ‘get through’ to her man. This is a common female dream theme, possibly arising from the husband not daring to express emotion or meet his partner with his own feelings. For Mrs S. this is an emergency. Although the dream dramatises it, there is still real frustration, anger, and a break in marital communications.

Cannot find husband: Many middle aged women dream of ‘losing’ their husband while out with him, perhaps shopping, or walking in a town somewhere. Sometimes the dream portrays him actually killed. Mrs A. D. wonders if her dream was a premonition. It is more likely a form of practising the loss, so it does not come as such a shock when or if it does happen. The greatest shocks occur when we have never even considered the event – such as a young child losing it’s mother – an event it has never practised, not even in fantasy, so has no inbuilt shock absorbers. As most of us know, men tend to die before women, and this information is in the mind of middle aged married women. Mrs A. D. may have unconsciously observed slight changes in her husband’s body and behaviour, and therefore readied herself.

Example: ‘I dreamt many times I lost my husband, such as not being able to find the car park where he was waiting, and seeing him go off in the distance. I wake in a panic to find him next to me in bed. These dreams persisted, and then he died quite suddenly. He was perfectly healthy at the time of the dreams and I wonder if it was a premonition of me REALLY losing him.’ Mrs A. D.

Example: My husband and I go out somewhere together, mostly in a town or built up area. After a while I lose him, and even though we arrange to meet at a certain place, he’s never there when I arrive. I’m looking everywhere and desperately asking passers by if they have seen him. The sense of loss and panic is awful and people keep saying “Yes, he is over there, or went that way.” I never find him.

Dead husband: Your memories and remaining emotions about your husband. Sometimes a meeting with him. See Dreaming of Death

The example below illustrates the ‘psychic’ meeting some women experience. In anything of an apparently psychic nature, we must ALWAYS remember the unconscious is the great dramatist. It can create the drama of a dream in moments. In doing so it makes our inner feelings into apparently real people and objects OUTSIDE OF US. While asleep we lightly dismiss this amazing process as ‘a dream’. When it happens while our eyes are open or we are near waking, for some reason we call it a ghost, a vision or a psychic event. Yet the dream process is obviously capable of creating total body sensations, emotions, full visual impressions, vocalisation – what else is a dream? On the other hand, the dream process is not dealing in pointless imaginations. Many women tend to believe they have little sexual drive, so it is easier for G. L. to see her drive in the form of her husband. But of course, her husband may also depict how she felt about sex in connection with his ‘sexual appetites’. It is a general rule however, that our dream process will dramatise into a past life, or a ‘psychic’ experience, emotions linked with trauma, or sexual drive, which we find difficult to meet in the present.

Example: ‘My dead husband came into my bedroom and got into bed with me to make love to me. I was not afraid. But owing to his sexual appetites during my married life with him I was horrified, and resisted him with all my might. On waking I felt weak and exhausted. The last time he came to me I responded to him and he never came back again. This happened three times. The last time I don’t think it was a dream. I was not asleep. I think it was his ghost.’ G. L.

Death of husband: If you think about your husband, do you think it is him. No, it is your feelings memories and emotions you feel. That is exactly the same with dreams. It is not your husband you are dealing with directly, but your fears and feeling, your emotions and anxieties.

So dreaming or his death you have been exploring your feelings about him dying. It is not a prediction, and many women dream of their husband dying, and feeling of what it would be like without him. Rather that than never have face his death before it happens.

Example: I had a really horrible dream last night. My husband died. In the dream we were sleeping and when I wake up in the dream I realize that my husband is lying next to me as if he were still sleeping, but he’s not sleeping he’s dead. He died while sleeping. In the dream it’s horrible and we don’t bury him, I cremate him and I go every where with his ashes. I cannot let go of him and I feel so much pain because I won’t see him anymore, hear his voice or feel him. I woke up from the dream crying and turned around and hugged him and kept crying I felt so scared and I felt a lot of pain; it took a while for him to calm me down, I couldn’t stop crying. Right now typing this makes me get a chocked up feeling just thinking about what I felt in that dream makes me feel horrible (in the sense that I might lose him) I hate it and I feel scared. What could that dream mean?

It means that the woman is facing her feelings and anxieties about losing him. But losing him means the loss of support and companionship, of dreams of their future.

Inner husband: Many people do not realise that they have an inner husband equally as powerful as an external husband. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences, along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your husband, and they are what makes you the person you are. This is true even if your husband was never there for you – you still have all the memories of him not being there for you filed under ‘husband’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner husband can appear in dreams because you are deeply influenced by what you hold within you.

Other woman’s husband: One’s own husband; feelings about that man; desire for a non committed relationship with less responsibility.

Sex with husband: The sexual dream at best is a wonderful indicator of how you, the dreamer, are feeling about your sexual and emotional relationship, or what one longs for, at the time of the dream. At worst it depicts all one fears might happen or be happening.

One can fairly safely say that our dreams are not so much about how the world and other people actually ARE, but rather how we see or passionately FEEL people or the world are. Of course our feelings and views may be very accurate, but one must always be aware of the variance between what one has created out of ones own inner life and vision, and how others people see themselves or events actually are.

Example: I dreamt I was laying in bed with my husband. I felt a sexual attraction and flow, something I hadn’t felt for a while in our relationship. I reached out to him expressing this but there wasn’t any response from him. So I talked to him saying that I had reached out to him sexually and in his body response I had felt there was no attempt to meet me. He replied that in fact that was the situation as far as he was concerned – that he was indeed saying no. Jo K.

Jo and her husband had lived for a year without any sex at all prior to the time of this dream. This had not been an unhappy time. Far from it, they had achieved a lot of peace and warmth without tension. On talking about her dream with her husband, he felt that he wasn’t saying no to her sexually. Indeed, his stated reason for not reaching out to her was that for years it had always been him making the approach to her. This had led to his feeling he was imposing something on her and as this was unpleasant he had stopped any attempt at sexual relationship. So Jo’s dream was really about how she saw her husband rather than what was actually happening.

Useful Questions and Hints:
Is the dream in any way an expression of what I feel or fantasise?
What is the dream dramatising?
Does it express our present state of sexual relationship?
See Difficult Relationship – Dead Partner or Ex – Identity and Sex – Ages of Love

 

 

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Comments

-shola 2016-10-07 22:09:00

my husband passed away a couple of years ago after 26 years marriage, i am now seeing a new guy but i have had a couple of dreams where they are both in the same room and my husband appears upset about this other guy. does this mean he doesnt approve or something else. i wake up feeling guilty that i have somhow cheated on him

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    -Tony Crisp 2016-10-09 11:30:26

    Shola – You have an inner and outer husband and they react differently. Many people do not realise that they have an inner husband equally as powerful as an external husband. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences, along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your husband, and they are what makes you the person you are. This is true even if your husband was never there for you – you still have all the memories of him not being there for you filed under ‘husband’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner husband can appear in dreams because you are deeply influenced by what you hold within you.

    So the dream husband is mostly likely reacting to your inner feelings about him, the memory of his life and death with you, and particularly what you feel.

    So I suggest that you imagine you are back in the dream, it doesn’t matter that you cannot get clear images, it is the thought if being all together that counts. Then tell your husband what is happening for you and your new guy, and ask him why he is causing such difficult feelings inside you – and carry on until you get satisfaction. It works.

    Tony

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-zee 2016-10-27 12:53:30

My dream begins with my husband, his male friend and I walking into a building. The male friend told us he had shares in the building. We entered a door and went down some stairs and was meet with two males one had a gun and took it out shoot he male friend a d my husband and point it at me but didnt shoot me. Instead he said to keep quite and dont look at him or he will shoot me.
I ended up outside with help and was screaming that my husband was hurt.
Then i heard someone said the shooter is wearing yellow….but when i look down the road i see my husband limping to his vehicle trying to take something out of it and he had on a yellow shirt and i could see that my husband is hurt but i just cant get to him….something is preventing me from going to him.
Then i woke up breathing very heavy from my dream.
what do this dream mean?

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    -Tony Crisp 2016-10-28 10:51:15

    Zee – Your dream shows you are a very nervous person, for whenever we dream its images are not like real life, because a dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen, so that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage – except if you run in fear; so all the things that scare you are simply your own fears projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind.

    Also, your husband who was injured in the dream when you think about your husband, you are only taking in your thoughts, impressions and feelings about them. So many people do not realise that they have an inner person equally as powerful as the external person you know. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by meeting or living with them, and they are what makes you the person you are. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner person can appear in dreams because you still carry the memories or impressions of them, and so they influenced what you hold within you.

    Therefore, it is your inner husband that has been injured, probably because of the anxieties you experience. Even the character with the gun is a projection of your fear on the screen of your sleeping mind.

    So, all the images, people, animals, places we see in our dreams, are simply your own feelings, fears, hopes and wonder projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind as images. So, it makes sense to take the image of your dream person, thing or animal back into you and own it. In that way, you are actually meeting and dealing with the things about yourself you are not owning or conscious of. That is why dreams are often difficult to understand, because we are hiding things from ourselves.

    So if you want to rid yourself of these feeling you could use http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

    But obviously, you will meet the feelings behind your fears.

    Tony

    Reply

-Angela Menchca 2016-11-02 2:00:24

I had a dream about a natural disaster occurred. Meteriods were falling near my moms mobile home. Then I was searching for important documents to get out of the mobile home. It was also flooding. I send my youngest daughter swimming to get away from the fire. I helped my mom and her dog out. My husband died from the fire. But the trailer did not burn completely. My brother assisted to carry out his half burned body. It’s also like mobile home on a fault line. People had started trying to steal stuff.

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    -Tony Crisp 2016-11-04 11:21:35

    Angela – Having read, experienced, thousands of dreams and tried to understand them, the conclusion I have arrived at is that each dream is like considering a mirror and seeing yourself. You are viewing yourself, but with every part of you shown, not only your face, but what you are feeling and thinking inside.

    Your dream shows you feeling anxiety about what you see around and inside you. The mobile home is you, and the fault line is how you feel about your life at the moment. Yes, the ground is moving under your feet because so much change is happening, or you are frightened it will happen.

    Your brother, well you have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by meeting or living with him, and they are what makes you the person you are. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner person can appear in dreams because you still carry the memories or impressions of them, and so they influenced what you hold within you.

    I don’t know what memories or feelings you have about your brother, but it sounds like you/him is having a hard time with change, your inner husband too, it sounds like life without him could be easier.

    Ancient peoples believed that seeing a meteor in the sky, or finding a part of a meteor suggested that a gift had been given by heaven. That is where the idea of wishing upon a falling star arose. To dream of a meteor or meteorite is for some people an expression of anxiety that they might be hit. But usually it has real significance. It represents something from the mysterious cosmos entering our experience, so can represent awareness or recognition of something beyond our present experience showing itself to us. It begs the questions, where did it originate; what different world of experience does it represent, and how and why did it enter my life? Well it usually is from your core self.

    Of course, those are only my thoughts about your dream, but you can get straight insights by using http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson and http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/practical-techniques-for-understanding-your-dreams/#TalkingAs

    Tony

    Reply

-Jane 2016-11-26 12:46:44

I had a terribly realistic dream my husband had died. I had him cremated. The ashes I was given looked like deep orange/almost brown teeny pebbles (almost like kitty litter). I ate them, actually ingested them and bragged about it to a co-worker of mine (whom I don’t get along with in real life). One of these “pebbles” was bigger than the rest, so I took it out of my mouth and when I pinched it, away flew grey fine dust. I then spit the rest of the pebbles from my mouth and shook my hand so as not to be holding anymore…

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