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It can depict how you see the relationship with your husband; your relationship with your sexuality; sexual and emotional desire and pleasure; how you relate to intimacy in body, mind and spirit. Or it can be habits of relationship developed with one’s father.

Example: ‘My recurring dream – some disaster is happening. I try to contact the police or my husband. Can never contact either. I try ringing 999 again and again and can feel terror, and sometimes dreadful anger or complete panic. I cry, I scream and shout and never get through! Recently I have stopped trying to contact my husband. I managed once to reach him but he said he was too busy and I would have to deal with it myself. I woke in a furious temper with him and kicked him while he was still asleep.’ Mrs G. S.

The husband here depicts Mrs S’s feelings of not being able to ‘get through’ to her man. This is a common female dream theme, possibly arising from the husband not daring to express emotion or meet his partner with his own feelings. For Mrs S. this is an emergency. Although the dream dramatises it, there is still real frustration, anger, and a break in marital communications.

Cannot find husband: Many middle aged women dream of ‘losing’ their husband while out with him, perhaps shopping, or walking in a town somewhere. Sometimes the dream portrays him actually killed. Mrs A. D. wonders if her dream was a premonition. It is more likely a form of practising the loss, so it does not come as such a shock when or if it does happen. The greatest shocks occur when we have never even considered the event – such as a young child losing it’s mother – an event it has never practised, not even in fantasy, so has no inbuilt shock absorbers. As most of us know, men tend to die before women, and this information is in the mind of middle aged married women. Mrs A. D. may have unconsciously observed slight changes in her husband’s body and behaviour, and therefore readied herself.

Example: ‘I dreamt many times I lost my husband, such as not being able to find the car park where he was waiting, and seeing him go off in the distance. I wake in a panic to find him next to me in bed. These dreams persisted, and then he died quite suddenly. He was perfectly healthy at the time of the dreams and I wonder if it was a premonition of me REALLY losing him.’ Mrs A. D.

Example: My husband and I go out somewhere together, mostly in a town or built up area. After a while I lose him, and even though we arrange to meet at a certain place, he’s never there when I arrive. I’m looking everywhere and desperately asking passers by if they have seen him. The sense of loss and panic is awful and people keep saying “Yes, he is over there, or went that way.” I never find him.

Dead husband: Your memories and remaining emotions about your husband. Sometimes a meeting with him. See Dreaming of Death

The example below illustrates the ‘psychic’ meeting some women experience. In anything of an apparently psychic nature, we must ALWAYS remember the unconscious is the great dramatist. It can create the drama of a dream in moments. In doing so it makes our inner feelings into apparently real people and objects OUTSIDE OF US. While asleep we lightly dismiss this amazing process as ‘a dream’. When it happens while our eyes are open or we are near waking, for some reason we call it a ghost, a vision or a psychic event. Yet the dream process is obviously capable of creating total body sensations, emotions, full visual impressions, vocalisation – what else is a dream? On the other hand, the dream process is not dealing in pointless imaginations. Many women tend to believe they have little sexual drive, so it is easier for G. L. to see her drive in the form of her husband. But of course, her husband may also depict how she felt about sex in connection with his ‘sexual appetites’. It is a general rule however, that our dream process will dramatise into a past life, or a ‘psychic’ experience, emotions linked with trauma, or sexual drive, which we find difficult to meet in the present.

Example: ‘My dead husband came into my bedroom and got into bed with me to make love to me. I was not afraid. But owing to his sexual appetites during my married life with him I was horrified, and resisted him with all my might. On waking I felt weak and exhausted. The last time he came to me I responded to him and he never came back again. This happened three times. The last time I don’t think it was a dream. I was not asleep. I think it was his ghost.’ G. L.

Death of husband: If you think about your husband, do you think it is him. No, it is your feelings memories and emotions you feel. That is exactly the same with dreams. It is not your husband you are dealing with directly, but your fears and feeling, your emotions and anxieties.

So dreaming or his death you have been exploring your feelings about him dying. It is not a prediction, and many women dream of their husband dying, and feeling of what it would be like without him. Rather that than never have face his death before it happens.

Example: I had a really horrible dream last night. My husband died. In the dream we were sleeping and when I wake up in the dream I realize that my husband is lying next to me as if he were still sleeping, but he’s not sleeping he’s dead. He died while sleeping. In the dream it’s horrible and we don’t bury him, I cremate him and I go every where with his ashes. I cannot let go of him and I feel so much pain because I won’t see him anymore, hear his voice or feel him. I woke up from the dream crying and turned around and hugged him and kept crying I felt so scared and I felt a lot of pain; it took a while for him to calm me down, I couldn’t stop crying. Right now typing this makes me get a chocked up feeling just thinking about what I felt in that dream makes me feel horrible (in the sense that I might lose him) I hate it and I feel scared. What could that dream mean?

It means that the woman is facing her feelings and anxieties about losing him. But losing him means the loss of support and companionship, of dreams of their future.

Other woman’s husband: One’s own husband; feelings about that man; desire for a non committed relationship with less responsibility.

Sex with husband: The sexual dream at best is a wonderful indicator of how you, the dreamer, are feeling about your sexual and emotional relationship, or what one longs for, at the time of the dream. At worst it depicts all one fears might happen or be happening.

One can fairly safely say that our dreams are not so much about how the world and other people actually ARE, but rather how we see or passionately FEEL people or the world are. Of course our feelings and views may be very accurate, but one must always be aware of the variance between what one has created out of ones own inner life and vision, and how others people see themselves or events actually are.

Example: I dreamt I was laying in bed with my husband. I felt a sexual attraction and flow, something I hadn’t felt for a while in our relationship. I reached out to him expressing this but there wasn’t any response from him. So I talked to him saying that I had reached out to him sexually and in his body response I had felt there was no attempt to meet me. He replied that in fact that was the situation as far as he was concerned – that he was indeed saying no. Jo K.

Jo and her husband had lived for a year without any sex at all prior to the time of this dream. This had not been an unhappy time. Far from it, they had achieved a lot of peace and warmth without tension. On talking about her dream with her husband, he felt that he wasn’t saying no to her sexually. Indeed, his stated reason for not reaching out to her was that for years it had always been him making the approach to her. This had led to his feeling he was imposing something on her and as this was unpleasant he had stopped any attempt at sexual relationship. So Jo’s dream was really about how she saw her husband rather than what was actually happening.

Useful Questions and Hints:
Is the dream in any way an expression of what I feel or fantasise?
What is the dream dramatising?
Does it express our present state of sexual relationship?
See Difficult Relationship – Dead Partner or Ex – Identity and Sex – Ages of Love





-Linda 2015-03-18 19:32:12

My name is Linda my husband and i have been sepereated for 1&1/2 year not because we planned it its because of legal issues and hes far away i see him every 3 months and its hard for me but i love my husband and i dream that im there with him and when i awake hes not there but it feels sooo real and he says he dreams the samething tooo but, still accuses me and i a cuse him of cheating too but i wouldnt do what i dont want him to do to me what does it mean….
Lost n Hurt


-robin 2015-04-14 10:21:24

I had a dream that me and my husband had a newborn and I heart from what I know to take care of her by the way he is deceased


-Anna 2015-04-14 11:34:54

Robin – Your dream baby- like any baby – is about something new and vulnerable that has come to life – come to your life.

If not then your dream baby- like any baby – is about something new and vulnerable that has come to life – come to your life. The important question is, what is it that is new and growing in your love, in your work, or in yourself? Or perhaps it is about vulnerability. Therefore the answers you give to the following questions in the link I will add are important in helping you discover the truth about your dream baby.

So please read http://dreamhawk.com/pregnancy-childbirth/the-baby-in-your-dream/
Anna :-)


-Alissa B 2015-06-24 9:32:29

I had a dream that my grandpa died (which he did about 5 months ago). In the dream my husband tells me he’s bring his girlfriend to the funeral. This is the first time I have heard of a girlfriend and I know her. Also she is pregnant. I’m assuming with his child. On the way my husband dies somehow. I never get to ask him anything about the girlfriend but I begin to ask her questions about how they met And if that is his child. I end up forgiving her in the dream. But seriously hating him. all throughout the dream I am trying to take care of my son and in the process of trying to get to my grandpas funeral we miss my husbands funeral. I usually don’t have vivid dreams but this one was.


-Lisa 2015-08-01 12:29:21

Hi, so this morning I had a dream that my now current husband was my ex. I was in a store some place of business which he owned. We were talking and another guy came over and said excuse me for a second, this guy was my current husband in the dream, he then proceeded to kiss me very passionately. My ex husband in the dream, which is my current husband was not upset at all. He said he was happy that I found him.


    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-08-03 11:10:16

    Dear Lisa – It is good to meet you again!
    I believe that your dream expresses the inner changes you are going through or changes that you are exploring and it also reflects that these changes do not (need to) cause any conflicted feelings :-) ; “My ex-husband in the dream, which is my current husband was not upset at all. He said he was happy that I found him”.
    In a sense, a kiss is a merging with the person who is the dream character. Because we are always inside of ourselves male and female and also everything we dream about, it may therefore show merging more fully with “this other side of you”.
    See also http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/
    The store is a symbol of your possibilities in life, the decisions you can make, the variety of attitudes or activities you can choose from and so the many ways in which you can express your wonderful potential.
    See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/energy-sex-and-dreams/
    Anna :-)


-Melody 2015-08-10 22:39:43

I have been having dreams that my husbands friend wants to take me away from my husband. In last nights dream he had his way with me sexually. Then told me not to worry about what my husband would do if I left him for his friend. In real life people have told me that they have caught my husbands friend checking me out ( after the dreams had already been going on for a while). What does my dreams mean?


    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-08-17 8:36:48

    Dear Melody – It is not always easy to distinguish between intuition in dreams and where your own (unconscious) desires might come into play.
    In other words, your dream could express that you have picked up signals from your husband’s friend in waking life about him being interested in you and in some way you are also willing to “answer his call”.

    I believe that we often tend to “translate” this being interested in each other onto a bodily level only and we forget that merging or uniting with another being can take place in the mind and so in our inner world too.

    You are doing such a special thing that we usually believe is about changing partners – but it is also a way of learning how to love in a much bigger way. You want to love this man but a woman is capable of pouring out her love in many ways. You can love without needing to posses or have physical sex. But of course it needs learning, but when learnt you can love many men and women. It needs you to be able to define exactly what you want in the relationship. You cannot find everything in one partner, so it is good to find it within you or to learn to love in a BIG way. See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/ages-of-love-2/

    You wrote “Then told me not to worry about what my husband would do if I left him for his friend”.
    In your inner world this could mean that you are ready to let go of some of the things you absorbed from your husband, which do not resonate with your inner being anymore.

    In a relationship, whether a feeling relationship or one in which you are learning something, you often absorb things from the person or event. You might take in such things unconsciously, as you did many things from parents and from the culture you were raised in.
    See also http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/digest/

    I think it is good to become aware that there is little gain in figuring out your husband’s friend process and where he stands and rather use your energy to explore your own inner world and desires and “where YOU want to go with what is going on between you”.

    You could try to explore what it is that attracts you in this man and how you can integrate this into your own being; make it a part of your inner male.

    The male within the female, is shown as a man in a woman’s dreams. Physically a woman is predominantly female, but also has a clitoris and produces some male hormones. Psychologically, we may only express part of our potential in everyday life. In a woman, the more physically dynamic, intellectual and socially challenging side of herself such as assertiveness and taking charge of situations may be given less expression. Apart from this some features, such as innovation and creative rational thought, may be held in latency.

    Please continue reading at http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/

    Please also read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/sex-and-identity/
    Does that give you a start?
    Anna :-)


      -Melody 2015-08-25 11:59:37

      Yes it does help me very much. Thank you.


-Lisa 2015-08-11 14:04:57

You give me such insight. Thank you!!!


-Mariou 2015-08-27 18:39:33

I dreamed that my husband and i are in the place that i don’t even familiar. anyway they have bunch of people that i don’t even know. my husband are with them, its seems they having fun and they’re kinda drinking and one only thing i noticed my husband is with this girl and they are joking and laughing with this group. they set together and my husband start putting his hand on the back of the Girl and start rubbing it. Then the Girl ask him is this something or telling me that you’re trying to hit on me? and my husband smiled on her and the Girl said you’re married and have kids. and the Girl stand up and she hidden where me and my kids at which is its only behind their back a little bit. The Girl start to play with my kids and my husband still following her and try to kinda saying that hey I’m here notice me.. what’s that mean? is this mean that my husband are attracted to someone Else at work?


-Hazel 2015-09-03 11:15:39

I was on holiday recently with my husband and I was in my hotel bedroom during the day when I dozed off with husband and had a dream. The dream was set in the exact same room like it was happening currently. My husband was trying to be close to me, but something didn’t feel right as he kept hiding his face from me as he cuddled me. I kept trying but he kept his face away. When I finally did see his face it was not him, but someone else who I did not recognise. I woke up feeling distressed and scared as it felt real due to same place, scenario etc. I started to cry as it felt very real. Can anyone help me decipher my dream? Thanks :)


-Trisha 2015-09-04 15:55:00

David (spouse), a boy child, Katie Dog (small dog) and myself, were walking into a shadowy parking lot, it was snowing, and I stopped to wipe the snow off my motorcycle. David, the child and Katie Dog kept walking towards the truck and were soon out of sight, but I knew they were nearby and would bring the truck to pick me up.
A white wolf with blue eyes came out of the shadows and was snarling and growling, with the intent to kill me. Within an instant he was directly in front of me. I screamed. I placed my purse between us. I could see the truck parked, I knew David, the child and Katie Dog were inside, but the truck was not running, nor were the lights on. The only sound was the wolf snarling at me. I looked around and had nothing to protect myself with. I placed my purse as a barrier between myself and wolf. I knew David was there, he was watching. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t help. He could at least try to chase the wolf with the truck. Maybe he needed more time. The wolf lunged, and grabbed my purse. I attempted to use the purse as a distraction by trying to play tug of war to keep the wolf distracted until David could come. The wolf tore the purse from me and had me flat on my back with my left forearm in his mouth in one swift move. I kept looking for David, he was in the truck watching but never came. I kept thinking the child potentially my son was going to watch me die. The wolf was tearing my arm apart and was going to tear me apart when I awoke.


-Lovelyleo77 2015-09-21 1:52:06

I have recurring dreams that I remarry someone and that I am so in love with my groom. In my dream, my current husband is no where around, as if he’s disappeared from the face of the earth. Then, last night I had a vivid dream that my husband somehow drove into the river. Authorities found his truck and body a few days later. The authorities contacted me to identify his body. It was disturbing. It was also disturbing because I was not sad. What do these dreams mean?


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