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It can depict how you see the relationship with your husband; your relationship with your sexuality; sexual and emotional desire and pleasure; how you relate to intimacy in body, mind and spirit. Or it can be habits of relationship developed with one’s father.

Example: ‘My recurring dream – some disaster is happening. I try to contact the police or my husband. Can never contact either. I try ringing 999 again and again and can feel terror, and sometimes dreadful anger or complete panic. I cry, I scream and shout and never get through! Recently I have stopped trying to contact my husband. I managed once to reach him but he said he was too busy and I would have to deal with it myself. I woke in a furious temper with him and kicked him while he was still asleep.’ Mrs G. S.

The husband here depicts Mrs S’s feelings of not being able to ‘get through’ to her man. This is a common female dream theme, possibly arising from the husband not daring to express emotion or meet his partner with his own feelings. For Mrs S. this is an emergency. Although the dream dramatises it, there is still real frustration, anger, and a break in marital communications.

Cannot find husband: Many middle aged women dream of ‘losing’ their husband while out with him, perhaps shopping, or walking in a town somewhere. Sometimes the dream portrays him actually killed. Mrs A. D. wonders if her dream was a premonition. It is more likely a form of practising the loss, so it does not come as such a shock when or if it does happen. The greatest shocks occur when we have never even considered the event – such as a young child losing it’s mother – an event it has never practised, not even in fantasy, so has no inbuilt shock absorbers. As most of us know, men tend to die before women, and this information is in the mind of middle aged married women. Mrs A. D. may have unconsciously observed slight changes in her husband’s body and behaviour, and therefore readied herself.

Example: ‘I dreamt many times I lost my husband, such as not being able to find the car park where he was waiting, and seeing him go off in the distance. I wake in a panic to find him next to me in bed. These dreams persisted, and then he died quite suddenly. He was perfectly healthy at the time of the dreams and I wonder if it was a premonition of me REALLY losing him.’ Mrs A. D.

Example: My husband and I go out somewhere together, mostly in a town or built up area. After a while I lose him, and even though we arrange to meet at a certain place, he’s never there when I arrive. I’m looking everywhere and desperately asking passers by if they have seen him. The sense of loss and panic is awful and people keep saying “Yes, he is over there, or went that way.” I never find him.

Dead husband: Your memories and remaining emotions about your husband. Sometimes a meeting with him. See Dreaming of Death

The example below illustrates the ‘psychic’ meeting some women experience. In anything of an apparently psychic nature, we must ALWAYS remember the unconscious is the great dramatist. It can create the drama of a dream in moments. In doing so it makes our inner feelings into apparently real people and objects OUTSIDE OF US. While asleep we lightly dismiss this amazing process as ‘a dream’. When it happens while our eyes are open or we are near waking, for some reason we call it a ghost, a vision or a psychic event. Yet the dream process is obviously capable of creating total body sensations, emotions, full visual impressions, vocalisation – what else is a dream? On the other hand, the dream process is not dealing in pointless imaginations. Many women tend to believe they have little sexual drive, so it is easier for G. L. to see her drive in the form of her husband. But of course, her husband may also depict how she felt about sex in connection with his ‘sexual appetites’. It is a general rule however, that our dream process will dramatise into a past life, or a ‘psychic’ experience, emotions linked with trauma, or sexual drive, which we find difficult to meet in the present.

Example: ‘My dead husband came into my bedroom and got into bed with me to make love to me. I was not afraid. But owing to his sexual appetites during my married life with him I was horrified, and resisted him with all my might. On waking I felt weak and exhausted. The last time he came to me I responded to him and he never came back again. This happened three times. The last time I don’t think it was a dream. I was not asleep. I think it was his ghost.’ G. L.

Death of husband: If you think about your husband, do you think it is him. No, it is your feelings memories and emotions you feel. That is exactly the same with dreams. It is not your husband you are dealing with directly, but your fears and feeling, your emotions and anxieties.

So dreaming or his death you have been exploring your feelings about him dying. It is not a prediction, and many women dream of their husband dying, and feeling of what it would be like without him. Rather that than never have face his death before it happens.

Example: I had a really horrible dream last night. My husband died. In the dream we were sleeping and when I wake up in the dream I realize that my husband is lying next to me as if he were still sleeping, but he’s not sleeping he’s dead. He died while sleeping. In the dream it’s horrible and we don’t bury him, I cremate him and I go every where with his ashes. I cannot let go of him and I feel so much pain because I won’t see him anymore, hear his voice or feel him. I woke up from the dream crying and turned around and hugged him and kept crying I felt so scared and I felt a lot of pain; it took a while for him to calm me down, I couldn’t stop crying. Right now typing this makes me get a chocked up feeling just thinking about what I felt in that dream makes me feel horrible (in the sense that I might lose him) I hate it and I feel scared. What could that dream mean?

It means that the woman is facing her feelings and anxieties about losing him. But losing him means the loss of support and companionship, of dreams of their future.

Inner husband: Many people do not realise that they have an inner husband equally as powerful as an external husband. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences, along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your husband, and they are what makes you the person you are. This is true even if your husband was never there for you – you still have all the memories of him not being there for you filed under ‘husband’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner husband can appear in dreams because you are deeply influenced by what you hold within you.

Other woman’s husband: One’s own husband; feelings about that man; desire for a non committed relationship with less responsibility.

Sex with husband: The sexual dream at best is a wonderful indicator of how you, the dreamer, are feeling about your sexual and emotional relationship, or what one longs for, at the time of the dream. At worst it depicts all one fears might happen or be happening.

One can fairly safely say that our dreams are not so much about how the world and other people actually ARE, but rather how we see or passionately FEEL people or the world are. Of course our feelings and views may be very accurate, but one must always be aware of the variance between what one has created out of ones own inner life and vision, and how others people see themselves or events actually are.

Example: I dreamt I was laying in bed with my husband. I felt a sexual attraction and flow, something I hadn’t felt for a while in our relationship. I reached out to him expressing this but there wasn’t any response from him. So I talked to him saying that I had reached out to him sexually and in his body response I had felt there was no attempt to meet me. He replied that in fact that was the situation as far as he was concerned – that he was indeed saying no. Jo K.

Jo and her husband had lived for a year without any sex at all prior to the time of this dream. This had not been an unhappy time. Far from it, they had achieved a lot of peace and warmth without tension. On talking about her dream with her husband, he felt that he wasn’t saying no to her sexually. Indeed, his stated reason for not reaching out to her was that for years it had always been him making the approach to her. This had led to his feeling he was imposing something on her and as this was unpleasant he had stopped any attempt at sexual relationship. So Jo’s dream was really about how she saw her husband rather than what was actually happening.

Useful Questions and Hints:
Is the dream in any way an expression of what I feel or fantasise?
What is the dream dramatising?
Does it express our present state of sexual relationship?
See Difficult Relationship – Dead Partner or Ex – Identity and Sex – Ages of Love





-ELizabeth 2015-11-13 18:54:06

i dream of my ex husband with another women happy and in my dream he seems cruel, like he enjoys that i’m seeing him happy and the sad thing is that i come back to the house we shared i haven’t heard from him in 4 years so i don’t know what this means im my dream i feel sad and i wake up sad, he was an abusive person and he cheated on my thats why i leave him .


-Jazzy 2015-11-14 14:55:14

My husband cheated on me, reversed his actions, gaslighted me and moved out. He has been gone a year promising to work on our marriage and has only given broken promises. He no longer speaks to doesnt answer calls or text. I had a dream last night that I heard him in the kitchen I woke up and he was lying next to me just watching me sleep. I asked him if he was ok he replied ” dont worry about me baby go back to sleep” as he placed his hand on my head to guide it down on my pillow. I then got an intense feeling in my chest and felt like I was under water. I woke up out my sleep as if emerging out of water and he was gone. His presence was so real and his smell was present also.


    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-11-15 7:43:38

    Dear Jazzy – Well your dream sounds like a real wake up call. What you experience when you “wake up” in a dream suggests the meaning is very significant. Your dream creator is telling you to really be aware of what the dream is trying to communicate, because so far you haven’t woken up to something.
    What I see in your dream is that you are concerned about his wellbeing to the point where you “drown in it”. A book that I perceived as an eye opener on this subject is written by Robin Norwood; “Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change.”
    The message of your (inner) husband I could understand as dual; do not worry about me sounds like he is caring for you and go back to sleep sounds like do not become aware of how I am still managing/manipulating/destroying your (inner) life; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/husband/#InnerH
    It is difficult to let go of someone when you continue to receive (or imagine) glimmers of hope that at some point he will change and the relationship will work out fine.
    It is good to realise though that he cannot work on your marriage; he can only work on himself and why would he want to do that as long as he can control/manipulate you the way he can?
    So I suggest you make it about You – not about him – ask yourself if You are okay and if You want to regain your inner sense of freedom again? http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/fear-is-another-word-for-hope/
    Anna :-) A KAW


-christina 2015-12-26 5:19:07

My husband died about 8 months ago..I dreamt that I caught him cheating. And it hurt so bad. In my dream he didn’t care what it did to me. Later in my dream, he admitted to trouble we had been in 15 years before. We had some issues and got arrested. Cooperating with the police was not an option. But in my dream he had admitted to doing just that. It makes no sense. I don’t understand the dream at all. Can you explain?


-Ashlea 2016-01-15 7:15:02

I have been having dreams of my husband and I arguing for the past few nights..but tonight I saw myself walking down the aisle to his casket. I wasn’t invited nor was told of his death. A part of me felt relief but still saddened by his death. I saw the mother of his children and mother sitting in the front row. I went to the pulpit to speak
After telling certain family members what needed to be said I acknowledged that I loved him unconditionally but he is where he needed to be ,”out of the way”. I felt tightness in my chest then I woke up. I will be filing for divorce in March


-Julie 2016-02-18 11:06:12

I have a very close and strong relationship with my husband. I dreamt that he fell out of love with me and had met someone else. We have been married for over 30 years. In the dream I scream and cry going from anger to disbelief and sadness. I actually work up from the dream and fell back asleep and the dream continued. It was very scary emotionally. What does it mean?


-Jane 2016-03-26 22:17:58

My husband recently got into some legal trouble. It’s minor & I pray the incident will be dismissed. However, he has been very stubborn & immature for a year or so. I dreamed he died & a relative of mine tried to resuscitate him & couldn’t. I woke up with my heart pounding & I was crying uncontrollably. What could this dream mean.


-Bri 2016-03-30 14:05:18

I had a dream wwhere me and my”dream daughter” got into an accident and died. My husband survived and i followed him trying to talk to him not knowing i was dead. Then was told by another women i was dead.


    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-04-04 10:54:41

    Dear Bri – Your accident probably shows the ending of something.
    This might be a direction you were taking, a business venture or a relationship, which is symbolised by the death of your “dream daughter”.
    Often a crash involves another or other people. If this is in your dream it shows a difficult relationship with another person, one that might damage your sense of well-being or confidence. It can mean a difficulty in a sexual relationship too if the person is of the opposite sex. But even if not that, certainly it is about a confrontation or conflict in regard to decisions, directions or opinions.
    The car crash can sometimes show a self-desired failure – perhaps to avoid stress of responsibility and change. The crash also suggests fear of failure or loss of control. This might be failure in relationship or an argument – you may be on collision course with your boss or partner for instance.
    Occasionally it points to psychological or physical breakdown looming. If the vehicle crash has a sense of death in it, then the dream may be exploring the anxieties or feelings around death. This is not usually a prediction of death, but a meeting with whatever values and fears one has about it. It may however be warning you about activities having a negative effect on your life or health. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dreaming-of-death/#OwnD
    If you die in the crash, what you feel and learn is very important. This is because it can depict a radical change in your life, or an experience of meeting death.
    Useful Questions and Hints:
    What led up to this crash, and can I see any signs of those feelings or activities in what I am doing?
    Is someone else involved, and in what way – if so what does that person represent or mean to me?
    What can I learn from this?
    If I died in the dream, what do I carry into waking from the experience?
    To explore these questions and your dream figure in your dream you can use http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson.
    “Another woman” may symbolise the part of you that was changed/transformed by “the crash” and you may want to explore her too by using “Being the person” and/or http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dialogue-with-a-dream-character-or-object/
    Anna :-)


-Shan 2016-04-13 18:49:46

My husband is away at the moment. He is helping out a friend whose wife is recovering from surgery for a brain tumor. Looking after their kids while the friend is working.

I dreamt I was in a car with amother female. Not 100% sure where we were actually going. In a city or something maybe? Now I’m alone, walking along a street. I over hear on the news from a radio a man is found dead and they are yet to identify him. As I’m walking, all of a sudden I see this man lying on top of a full skip bin and a little girl is with him. The little girl is completely fine. But the man is my husband. His stomach is ripped open (most of it missing) with something inside. I just dropped to the ground sobbing and this woman (I think I know her) comes and takes the little girl away looking at me like I am horrible. But all I can do is sob. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I woke up crying and my heart pounding. Even just to think of it…..


    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2016-04-19 8:12:46

    Dear Shan – Situations in our waking life can trigger unresolved childhood issues, which I see reflected in your dream.
    At first you do not know where this situation is taking you, until you remember a feeling; “Now I’m alone”.
    It is the memory of your child self and the next part of the dream expresses how she closed down her feelings as a means to deal with a situation that was too painful for her.
    Your dream figure perceives her approach as “completely fine” as it was her way to survive and when you surrender to your feelings and start sobbing you become aware of an inner conflict; “takes the little girl away looking at me like I am horrible”.
    Of course you are not horrible when you dare to release the pain from your past; http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/opening-to-life/
    and http://dreamhawk.com/health-and-healing/inner-baby-and-child/
    Anna :-)


-Rebekah 2016-05-20 0:03:59

I am single and don’t have any children. I had a dream that I gave birth. My husband (who corresponds to a real-life ex) was in the room, crying. They were happy tears. It was a nice family moment.

The ex he corresponded to could be very chilly and shut me out. He kept me at an arm’s length and didn’t want a family. So what is this dream about…is it just a way of stating what I wanted from him and what he wouldn’t give to me?

Thanks for reading this!


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