Jail Jailer Gaol Gaoler
This can point to any of a range of attitudes such as – guilt, self criticism, a sense of alienation, intellectualizing life – anything restricting the way you express yourself. So the jailer is the attitudes or concepts you imprison yourself with, or hold yourself back with. See: prison. Feelings of being restrained by your environment, morals, philosophy.
What we believe or imagine about who we are, or what we are not, is for many people an incredibly potent torturer and jailer. But many of what people call their demons are unbelievably subtle, and capture us, restrict us, shut out the possibility of a full life, or being able to respond with our own creativity. The real problem is that we often accept this as normal or barely notice them. See Archetype of the Paradigm - Masters of Nightmares
Example: I now lives in a state in which I am constantly tortured and put down by seeing that unlike my sisters I have never had a child, have not achieved any lasting success in my life and live in a tiny bedsit which I might have to leave due to not being able to pay the rent. There is also an inner ghost haunting me through my feelings that I have not lived up to my father’s hopes. I long to earn enough to own my own house, and to have a loving partner who closely my life. The lack of all of these pulls me down to frequent feelings of despair and hopelessness.
All of what Lisa feels about her life – no child – no external achievement – no partner – no house of her own – not measuring up to her family – are all true, but only in a certain way. What is devastating is that Lisa believes she is what she feels. Those beliefs are her jailers keeping her trapped.
Example: I was in a prison with several others – all in one cell. It felt as if I had been in the prison for years. I was standing near the bars angry and shouting about the injustice of my incarceration. As I stood raging I suddenly realised that all my anger was having no affect on the world. I was the only one suffering it. I saw that the peace and freedom I wanted from release I could have now by letting go of my anger. I would then be in peace, and would be free of my own negative emotions. I forgave my judges and gaolers, and a change came over me. In the following years I learnt to drop the other ideas and emotions I tortured myself with. I was filled with joy until my bliss filled the cell. In this way all had a changed relationship. In a strange way I was now utterly free.
Useful Questions and Hints:
Can I admit to myself what I am imprisoned by?
Do I use self justifications to avoid admitting the truth to myself?
Is there a way out of the prison I have created?